Well damn the only reason our boy Stan here isn't beating around the bush is all women around seem to go Brazilian. Nothing wrong with having a more dominant MC of course, but I think he's laying it on a tad thick here, and I'm afraid before long Patreon is going to see that the same way.
Like, the first thing the guy wonders about his aunt is if her tits are bigger than his moms and his second thought is that her ass is made for anal. I can think of a game, where the MC's dad basically went "Son, you have to bone your mom because I'm going on a business trip!" and yeah no shit that Patreon page went under review https://f95zone.to/threads/pervert-family-v1-0-laurenty.45229/ .
I'm afraid before long you're going to have to look into spinning the story into some kind of "You went to uni and moved in with some other house mates and Adrianna is the oldest and now that Alex moved out, you're short on rent etc.". (plus I'm not sure if that first domination of Emma might have been a tad too harsh, maybe remove the part where she's crying and make her angry so you turn that arc into more of a hate-fuck relationship?)
But speaking of story, what I'm kinda missing is the corruption aspect. Adrianna has been working as a model for like 15 years, you can't tell me she didn't have guys on set at least take a glance at her tits. Yet here she is, innocent and insecure as can be but the convincing process kinda feels like "Moomm, show me your tits!" - "No eww, wtf is wrong with you?" - "Do it!" - "... u sure?" - "Do it, think of the rent!" - "Oh shit you're right lmao here we go (. | .)".
What I could see as an aspect of "brainwashing" here would be that Adrianna calls the MC "son" at first and doesn't use his name, the MC suggests the lewd photoshoots, she declines first but reluctantly tells him about "that one photoshoot" where she posed in lingerie and her photographer gave her the stage name uhh "Maria" or something so you guys settle on calling her "Maria" on camera and her profile and in order to get her comfortable with the photoshoots where he isn't filming, the MC begins calling her Maria too and when she complains about it with a "Son, you blabla", the MC reminds her that during the photoshoot she isn't his mom and he her son but she is Maria and he is MC.name and the MC then starts calling her Maria during the day too, e.g. when she's sweeping the floor or something and he comments on the size of her ass. When she complains a son shouldn't do that, the MC could remind her that he is MC.name not her son or something and they could start taking photographs during all hours of the day, but I feel I'm writing myself away from a "Boy returns to the place he came from" and more into a "Two people play pretend while hiding the sausage", even if a freudian slip during intercourse reminds us of the relationship at hand.
Still, good game so far and a good chunk of content added per update!
Like, the first thing the guy wonders about his aunt is if her tits are bigger than his moms and his second thought is that her ass is made for anal. I can think of a game, where the MC's dad basically went "Son, you have to bone your mom because I'm going on a business trip!" and yeah no shit that Patreon page went under review https://f95zone.to/threads/pervert-family-v1-0-laurenty.45229/ .
I'm afraid before long you're going to have to look into spinning the story into some kind of "You went to uni and moved in with some other house mates and Adrianna is the oldest and now that Alex moved out, you're short on rent etc.". (plus I'm not sure if that first domination of Emma might have been a tad too harsh, maybe remove the part where she's crying and make her angry so you turn that arc into more of a hate-fuck relationship?)
But speaking of story, what I'm kinda missing is the corruption aspect. Adrianna has been working as a model for like 15 years, you can't tell me she didn't have guys on set at least take a glance at her tits. Yet here she is, innocent and insecure as can be but the convincing process kinda feels like "Moomm, show me your tits!" - "No eww, wtf is wrong with you?" - "Do it!" - "... u sure?" - "Do it, think of the rent!" - "Oh shit you're right lmao here we go (. | .)".
What I could see as an aspect of "brainwashing" here would be that Adrianna calls the MC "son" at first and doesn't use his name, the MC suggests the lewd photoshoots, she declines first but reluctantly tells him about "that one photoshoot" where she posed in lingerie and her photographer gave her the stage name uhh "Maria" or something so you guys settle on calling her "Maria" on camera and her profile and in order to get her comfortable with the photoshoots where he isn't filming, the MC begins calling her Maria too and when she complains about it with a "Son, you blabla", the MC reminds her that during the photoshoot she isn't his mom and he her son but she is Maria and he is MC.name and the MC then starts calling her Maria during the day too, e.g. when she's sweeping the floor or something and he comments on the size of her ass. When she complains a son shouldn't do that, the MC could remind her that he is MC.name not her son or something and they could start taking photographs during all hours of the day, but I feel I'm writing myself away from a "Boy returns to the place he came from" and more into a "Two people play pretend while hiding the sausage", even if a freudian slip during intercourse reminds us of the relationship at hand.
Still, good game so far and a good chunk of content added per update!
