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bamachine

Well-Known Member
Nov 17, 2020
1,439
1,954
"Guide Laura as she slowly gets lured by temptation and disillusioned by marital strife. "

Gaaaaaah i hate that this is so common.

If a parson is married but they hate their partner and its a relationship that shouldn't even exist by then anyway, there's no 'luring' going on. Allowing yourself at this point is just the normal, expected behavior during a relationship's disintegration. If the idea is that being lured by temptations that shouldn't be given into but are then given into anyway is enticing, this is self-defeating.
Yeah, in real life, I am 100% against cheating. If you get the itch, either see if your partner can change things up to scratch it, discuss an open relationship or split up/divorce.

In a game, I am ok with it, unlike other things like non-con stuff. I know plenty of people have been hurt by a partner cheating on them but that pales to the damage done by assault.
 

r3i97dan2

New Member
Nov 16, 2018
14
33
Gosh. If the narrator prose in this was any more purple it could pick up an orb and scepter and declare itself Holy Roman Emperor. I don't know why authors feel the need to do this, but unless you've already mastered things like distinguishing between "its" and "it's" in every case and know how to run a spell checker across your text and are now looking for other interesting things to do with the English language, don't go crazy with the flowery similes and tacking on creative adjectives to every noun. And even then probably don't do it, as you're forcing your readers to pay most of their attention to the part of the narrative that doesn't need it. I mean, I'll grant you that much worse can be found on this site in the text department, but this is distracting in another way.

On the plus side this got me to respond, while most of the stuff I sample gets discarded without a second thought because there's just nothing there to write home about. The themes behind this are interesting enough and it does a good job making the most of its visuals, but boy, that narrator needs to be dropped off at the local gumshoe watering hole. There's probably a dime store detective novel that needs their services.
 

jufot

Well-Known Member
May 15, 2021
1,562
3,519
I'll be the contrarian and say that I like the prose. I wouldn't call it purple, but cerebral. The narrator voice definitely makes the game, and it's what gripped me in the first place.

The central mystery around the magic drug isn't particularly novel or interesting, but it works as an acceptable background since the game is more about the characters anyway. Speaking of which, I like most of the POV characters. While Laura is ostensibly the protagonist, they are all interesting people, and the narrator's prose makes them richer and well-developed.

I have two complaints though, and they are both sex related:
- Beyond Body is a ridiculous concept (explicit porn on daytime broadcast TV) and feels completely out of place. You could remove it entirely and the story wouldn't lose anything. Not. A. Single. Thing.
- The game is far, far too voyeuristic with its female POV characters. Like, why must we ogle Frances' tits and genitals while she's grieving her dead son? It feels cheap and exploitative.
 
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Stringy Bob

Member
Apr 12, 2021
349
390
Too early to tell and doesnt look like it, progress update on the 28th March on Patreon. The dev needs a SS though as Patreon are still on a rampage.

The rules are explicit, 6 months without any word on any media, Patreon, Suscrivestar, Discord or here. 18 months with contact but without a game update.
 
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3.50 star(s) 2 Votes