VN Ren'Py Serenity [Ch. 2 v0.3] [N2TheFire]

[JenMistress]

Just finished 1.2, so back to being caught up with the Dev on this one.

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Thank you so much for this game thus far, and looking forward for the next one, which sounds like will be around Christmas.

 

[Porthas]

*sigh* this definitely is a game where if you apply even a little bit of critical thinking the story falls completely flat.

One thing after another, and I've just about had it. Latest examples (out of many, but I don't want to write a novel here) I just got to the part where the MC is (again) chatting with his mother and (after he gets embarrassed for seeing his mom's nip, even though she's wearing an outfit that let's him see her nip, so she obviously doesn't care if he sees her nip) tells her that two of the cat girls have ascended. Why would he tell her that? He's supposed to already know she knows this. Every cat girl who's ascended told him they saw her and chatted with her when they did.

Very little of this games' story is consistent or makes any sense. Which is a shame since I like the premise.

 

[Spfjolietjake]

*sigh* this definitely is a game where if you apply even a little bit of critical thinking the story falls completely flat.

One thing after another, and I've just about had it. Latest examples (out of many, but I don't want to write a novel here) I just got to the part where the MC is (again) chatting with his mother and (after he gets embarrassed for seeing his mom's nip, even though she's wearing an outfit that let's him see her nip, so she obviously doesn't care if he sees her nip) tells her that two of the cat girls have ascended. Why would he tell her that? He's supposed to already know she knows this. Every cat girl who's ascended told him they saw her and chatted with her when they did.

Very little of this games' story is consistent or makes any sense. Which is a shame since I like the premise.

I guess I'm just a simple man and pervert. I am however blessed with not letting minor details like that bother my enjoyment of what I consider one of the best kinetic adult visual novels on here. I also don't have issue knowing what is happening in it...

It's also the reason I can enjoy some of what Hollywood curns out. I hope you find a story that doesn't stress you with it's "consistency"

 

[N2TheFire]

*sigh* this definitely is a game where if you apply even a little bit of critical thinking the story falls completely flat.

One thing after another, and I've just about had it. Latest examples (out of many, but I don't want to write a novel here) I just got to the part where the MC is (again) chatting with his mother and (after he gets embarrassed for seeing his mom's nip, even though she's wearing an outfit that let's him see her nip, so she obviously doesn't care if he sees her nip) tells her that two of the cat girls have ascended. Why would he tell her that? He's supposed to already know she knows this. Every cat girl who's ascended told him they saw her and chatted with her when they did.

Very little of this games' story is consistent or makes any sense. Which is a shame since I like the premise.

Hi Porthas, I've had it too man. Really. I've had it with people who expect a WORK IN PROGRESS to be perfect the FIRST time out. I get that you have your opinion and you want to express it in here. That's great. But I never claimed to be a professional writer... hell, not to toot my own horn but, I know my writing is definitely better than some I've seen out there! And if you've really followed me, paid any attention to the devlogs I post, you would know that I am highly critical of, and even insecure about my writing and graphics and constantly going back and tweaking things. For example, you mention mom "letting" him see her nip. I wrote that out quite a long while back. So obviously you never even gave my fixes a chance before coming in this thread and exclaiming that you've "had it". You expect a game you're playing to be absolutely perfect the very first time around? And I get no credit at all for putting myself out here with my very first game and exposing my 'juvenile writing' (as one reviewer put it)? As devs, we get hammered for everything... but I keep going Porthas. I press on because I know now that there ARE people who DO understand that what they are playing is NOT a FINAL RELEASE. Doesn't anyone else get that? I'm allowed to make mistakes until the day I put this out there and say "This is it guys! The final release!". Until then, I'll keep fixing things as I have time to do that and as best I can. And keep working on the inconsistencies that I know still has. You get to see this AS it is being developed. Because I am still working on it. And your feedback does help... a rant on how you've 'had it' and judging things that were redone already... that doesn't help.
And by the way, Prothas... Lighten up maybe? Even with its imperfections, Serenity is still something I've put my heart and soul into. For a while, the time I gave it even put a strain on my marriage. Go back and play it from the beginning. Look at what I have fixed so far, what I have rewritten so far. A lot of it was changed quite a bit. A lot is still needing to be changed and I am getting to that soon. And try to remember that almost every one of these games in here are a work in progress and DO have issues. And most devs, at least myself for sure, do go back and fix or change things.
So, until Serenity "FINAL" is out... yep, there will be some imperfections because I am human and no matter how hard I have tried, I simply cannot release a flawless version. To those who expect that, it must be nice to be so fucking perfect all the time! Anyway, Porthas... I hope you understand what I am trying to say here. I hope anyone else out there who reviews these things so harshly understands what I am trying to say. Most have no idea the sheer amount of effort, the stress, and hours it takes to do this. Pile on top of that, people that hammer us for not releasing flawless material every time, or not giving them something they want, or not writing the story THEY want to see. Hell I suppose I asked for it. I mean I reported my own game right here on F95 over a year ago... and here we are.
Anyway, all I can say now is play it again... the latest version, from the start. Did you know a lot of the scenes were completely redone? Yep! Is it flawless yet? Well, no... But I'm working on that! Will it be flawless when it is final? Meh... probably not. Oh and I almost forgot, I also added music since a year ago! Okay, stopping now. Go play it again, or don't. Take care Porthas.

 

[Spfjolietjake]

Hi Porthas, I've had it too man. Really. I've had it with people who expect a WORK IN PROGRESS to be perfect the FIRST time out. I get that you have your opinion and you want to express it in here. That's great. But I never claimed to be a professional writer... hell, not to toot my own horn but, I know my writing is definitely better than some I've seen out there! And if you've really followed me, paid any attention to the devlogs I post, you would know that I am highly critical of, and even insecure about my writing and graphics and constantly going back and tweaking things. For example, you mention mom "letting" him see her nip. I wrote that out quite a long while back. So obviously you never even gave my fixes a chance before coming in this thread and exclaiming that you've "had it". You expect a game you're playing to be absolutely perfect the very first time around? And I get no credit at all for putting myself out here with my very first game and exposing my 'juvenile writing' (as one reviewer put it)? As devs, we get hammered for everything... but I keep going Porthas. I press on because I know now that there ARE people who DO understand that what they are playing is NOT a FINAL RELEASE. Doesn't anyone else get that? I'm allowed to make mistakes until the day I put this out there and say "This is it guys! The final release!". Until then, I'll keep fixing things as I have time to do that and as best I can. And keep working on the inconsistencies that I know still has. You get to see this AS it is being developed. Because I am still working on it. And your feedback does help... a rant on how you've 'had it' and judging things that were redone already... that doesn't help.
And by the way, Prothas... Lighten up maybe? Even with its imperfections, Serenity is still something I've put my heart and soul into. For a while, the time I gave it even put a strain on my marriage. Go back and play it from the beginning. Look at what I have fixed so far, what I have rewritten so far. A lot of it was changed quite a bit. A lot is still needing to be changed and I am getting to that soon. And try to remember that almost every one of these games in here are a work in progress and DO have issues. And most devs, at least myself for sure, do go back and fix or change things.
So, until Serenity "FINAL" is out... yep, there will be some imperfections because I am human and no matter how hard I have tried, I simply cannot release a flawless version. To those who expect that, it must be nice to be so fucking perfect all the time! Anyway, Porthas... I hope you understand what I am trying to say here. I hope anyone else out there who reviews these things so harshly understands what I am trying to say. Most have no idea the sheer amount of effort, the stress, and hours it takes to do this. Pile on top of that, people that hammer us for not releasing flawless material every time, or not giving them something they want, or not writing the story THEY want to see. Hell I suppose I asked for it. I mean I reported my own game right here on F95 over a year ago... and here we are.
Anyway, all I can say now is play it again... the latest version, from the start. Did you know a lot of the scenes were completely redone? Yep! Is it flawless yet? Well, no... But I'm working on that! Will it be flawless when it is final? Meh... probably not. Oh and I almost forgot, I also added music since a year ago! Okay, stopping now. Go play it again, or don't. Take care Porthas.

You're a really good dev so far. A group of us here love this story, the gorgeous ladies and vn but you post this wall of text?!?! Spaces are your friend man. Have pity on my old eyes

Seriously You're doing a lot better than a lot of first timers, second timers and 3rd timers easy...

 

[ImperialD]

You're a really good dev so far. A group of us here love this story, the gorgeous ladies and vn but you post this wall of text?!?! Spaces are your friend man. Have pity on my old eyes

Seriously You're doing a lot better than a lot of first timers, second timers and 3rd timers easy...

i agree 100% .... this Dev. is one of the 10 dev's i'd be willing to support .. if it was'nt for my retirement being so small .. love your work Dev .... seems your not alone with people like Porthas ...... funny when i think about people like that .. seems every game i like they hate ... and they wanna stay around a bitch and complain to everyone .. instead of moving on ..... just please don't let them get to you

 

[N2TheFire]

You're a really good dev so far. A group of us here love this story, the gorgeous ladies and vn but you post this wall of text?!?! Spaces are your friend man. Have pity on my old eyes

Seriously You're doing a lot better than a lot of first timers, second timers and 3rd timers easy...

Haha, I did go a little overboard there. Guess I'm just frustrated with the way some people get so damn judgy about something that isn't even finished yet LOL. Sorry for the wall of text

 

[Spfjolietjake]

Haha, I did go a little overboard there. Guess I'm just frustrated with the way some people get so damn judgy about something that isn't even finished yet LOL. Sorry for the wall of text

Nah the words were well chosen and your passion is part of the reason a lot of us enjoy your vn.

I just have a war against walls of text. I blame my teachers back in school, cause why not?

 

[HogRocket]

*sigh* this definitely is a game where if you apply even a little bit of critical thinking the story falls completely flat.

One thing after another, and I've just about had it. Latest examples (out of many, but I don't want to write a novel here) I just got to the part where the MC is (again) chatting with his mother and (after he gets embarrassed for seeing his mom's nip, even though she's wearing an outfit that let's him see her nip, so she obviously doesn't care if he sees her nip) tells her that two of the cat girls have ascended. Why would he tell her that? He's supposed to already know she knows this. Every cat girl who's ascended told him they saw her and chatted with her when they did.

Very little of this games' story is consistent or makes any sense. Which is a shame since I like the premise.

If I wanted "critical thinking" I'd read "The Illiad" and "The Odyssey" again. What I want is a good story with pretty girls and the good guy wins. Serenity delivers. Much more engaging than most of the stories on here as well.

 

[Meghead]

My only complain is that we beat Camilla way to quickly, she caused significant damage, she caused harm to the girls, moreover, she could erase Serenity, as for me she should have suffered a little more. I can't say that I like her, it's hard for me to forgive her, but this is my opinion.

I hope the fight with father will be epic and won't end so quickly.

 

[Antonie van Leeuwenhoek]

For the love of serenity, i don't mind kn but need some attention to the animations, romance isn't that well written to be honest, some sex build ups felt shallow and artificial which it shouldn't have.

 

[ju1zzed]

i finally got to play the last 2 updates...gotta say this is getting better and better.
cant wait for more

 

[Porthas]

Hi Porthas, I've had it too man. Really. I've had it with people who expect a WORK IN PROGRESS to be perfect the FIRST time out. I get that you have your opinion and you want to express it in here. That's great. But I never claimed to be a professional writer... hell, not to toot my own horn but, I know my writing is definitely better than some I've seen out there! And if you've really followed me, paid any attention to the devlogs I post, you would know that I am highly critical of, and even insecure about my writing and graphics and constantly going back and tweaking things. For example, you mention mom "letting" him see her nip. I wrote that out quite a long while back. So obviously you never even gave my fixes a chance before coming in this thread and exclaiming that you've "had it". You expect a game you're playing to be absolutely perfect the very first time around? And I get no credit at all for putting myself out here with my very first game and exposing my 'juvenile writing' (as one reviewer put it)? As devs, we get hammered for everything... but I keep going Porthas. I press on because I know now that there ARE people who DO understand that what they are playing is NOT a FINAL RELEASE. Doesn't anyone else get that? I'm allowed to make mistakes until the day I put this out there and say "This is it guys! The final release!". Until then, I'll keep fixing things as I have time to do that and as best I can. And keep working on the inconsistencies that I know still has. You get to see this AS it is being developed. Because I am still working on it. And your feedback does help... a rant on how you've 'had it' and judging things that were redone already... that doesn't help.
And by the way, Prothas... Lighten up maybe? Even with its imperfections, Serenity is still something I've put my heart and soul into. For a while, the time I gave it even put a strain on my marriage. Go back and play it from the beginning. Look at what I have fixed so far, what I have rewritten so far. A lot of it was changed quite a bit. A lot is still needing to be changed and I am getting to that soon. And try to remember that almost every one of these games in here are a work in progress and DO have issues. And most devs, at least myself for sure, do go back and fix or change things.
So, until Serenity "FINAL" is out... yep, there will be some imperfections because I am human and no matter how hard I have tried, I simply cannot release a flawless version. To those who expect that, it must be nice to be so fucking perfect all the time! Anyway, Porthas... I hope you understand what I am trying to say here. I hope anyone else out there who reviews these things so harshly understands what I am trying to say. Most have no idea the sheer amount of effort, the stress, and hours it takes to do this. Pile on top of that, people that hammer us for not releasing flawless material every time, or not giving them something they want, or not writing the story THEY want to see. Hell I suppose I asked for it. I mean I reported my own game right here on F95 over a year ago... and here we are.
Anyway, all I can say now is play it again... the latest version, from the start. Did you know a lot of the scenes were completely redone? Yep! Is it flawless yet? Well, no... But I'm working on that! Will it be flawless when it is final? Meh... probably not. Oh and I almost forgot, I also added music since a year ago! Okay, stopping now. Go play it again, or don't. Take care Porthas.

It's okay man, I get it being frustrated. I have some suggestions, if you're open to them.
This is what I did when I wrote my book.

Flesh out the universe. Write about it. Work it out in your head. This is where you take a good starting idea and make it make sense. I started with the book, then I realized I needed to give my idea some thought first. So I stopped the book, and wrote just about the universe. It's characters. Who they are. The lore, if it made sense, why it didn't make sense. Plugged the holes. The tone, did I want the overall tone to be dark and serious? A touch sarcastic? Does that fit my lore and universe? Stuff like that. People call this kind of stuff outlines or whatever. Don't have to label it, it just helps to write it all out and get it in your head first what you want to build, like a blueprint.

How I approach games... I very much want to like them. So when I don't like them, it gets frustrating, a bit. End of the world? No. Frustrating like getting cut off in traffic? Yes. That's what ended up happening when I played your game. I went in liking the premise and wanting to enjoy it, and it very much played like you were laying down the tracks in front of a rail train and the tracks were going everywhere because there was no plan for where they were headed.

I wanted to let you know that, in case you were interested in feedback. And of course, that was only my opinion and my tastes. Maybe my feedback would help with the final game, who knows. I let other people read my book and I wanted honest feedback. There were things people liked and things they didn't. So that's stewing for maybe my next book, or a whole re-write, or maybe I like the book the way it is... though there are probably not very many artists who are totally satisfied with what they make.

So don't stress about it, if possible. My advice, if you feel some criticism is valid, just take it into account later on down the road if you want.

Also look at the positive. I read a lot of reviews of games where people give positive feedback. You'll get that, and you're getting it. Try to enjoy that, and take the negative feedback and learn from it, if you think there's anything worth learning from it.

Know The Wizard of Oz? The movie, the original? It was critically panned when it came out. But then it grew a following. Ever heard of the movie Clue? It didn't do great in movie theaters, but gained huge momentum when it came out in home video. All art put out there is going to have its critics, along with its admirers. The trick is to learn from the bad and the good, without it stopping you. It's just the nature of putting stuff out there for the public.

That doesn't mean it's okay for people to be rude... if I came across as rude I apologize. Honestly, I thought I explained exactly what I didn't like, and didn't lay out just a bunch of insults. Criticism is worthless if doesn't explain exactly what a critic has a problem with... there's no way for an artist to learn from that. That's what I was attempting to do, explain what I felt the problem(s) to be. Maybe I succeeded, maybe not.

Anyway, I'll repeat, I think you have a great premise to start off with and I hope you have a lot of fun working with that premise and making the game.

 

[N2TheFire]

It's okay man, I get it being frustrated. I have some suggestions, if you're open to them.
This is what I did when I wrote my book.

Flesh out the universe. Write about it. Work it out in your head. This is where you take a good starting idea and make it make sense. I started with the book, then I realized I needed to give my idea some thought first. So I stopped the book, and wrote just about the universe. It's characters. Who they are. The lore, if it made sense, why it didn't make sense. Plugged the holes. The tone, did I want the overall tone to be dark and serious? A touch sarcastic? Does that fit my lore and universe? Stuff like that. People call this kind of stuff outlines or whatever. Don't have to label it, it just helps to write it all out and get it in your head first what you want to build, like a blueprint.

How I approach games... I very much want to like them. So when I don't like them, it gets frustrating, a bit. End of the world? No. Frustrating like getting cut off in traffic? Yes. That's what ended up happening when I played your game. I went in liking the premise and wanting to enjoy it, and it very much played like you were laying down the tracks in front of a rail train and the tracks were going everywhere because there was no plan for where they were headed.

I wanted to let you know that, in case you were interested in feedback. And of course, that was only my opinion and my tastes. Maybe my feedback would help with the final game, who knows. I let other people read my book and I wanted honest feedback. There were things people liked and things they didn't. So that's stewing for maybe my next book, or a whole re-write, or maybe I like the book the way it is... though there are probably not very many artists who are totally satisfied with what they make.

So don't stress about it, if possible. My advice, if you feel some criticism is valid, just take it into account later on down the road if you want.

Also look at the positive. I read a lot of reviews of games where people give positive feedback. You'll get that, and you're getting it. Try to enjoy that, and take the negative feedback and learn from it, if you think there's anything worth learning from it.

Know The Wizard of Oz? The movie, the original? It was critically panned when it came out. But then it grew a following. Ever heard of the movie Clue? It didn't do great in movie theaters, but gained huge momentum when it came out in home video. All art put out there is going to have its critics, along with its admirers. The trick is to learn from the bad and the good, without it stopping you. It's just the nature of putting stuff out there for the public.

That doesn't mean it's okay for people to be rude... if I came across as rude I apologize. Honestly, I thought I explained exactly what I didn't like, and didn't lay out just a bunch of insults. Criticism is worthless if doesn't explain exactly what a critic has a problem with... there's no way for an artist to learn from that. That's what I was attempting to do, explain what I felt the problem(s) to be. Maybe I succeeded, maybe not.

Anyway, I'll repeat, I think you have a great premise to start off with and I hope you have a lot of fun working with that premise and making the game.

Porthas, this is a much better post than your previous one. You see, I can take criticism. The fade knows I have taken quite a beating on this game whether it was about my writing style or my graphics. I accepted most of it because hell, this was my first project and frankly, those early graphics were horrendous. And I'll never get the writing to be perfect for everyone. Most people that read/play these aren't looking for 'Gone with the Wind'. At the same time, it was my intention NOT to have Serenity be anything else on here.

What frustrated me about your specific post is how you worded it. It was more of an 'attack' than criticism. Your current post has a much softer tone and offers SUPPORT. Advice even. This I can read and take stock in. People sometimes think I'm just being an ass or can't take criticism. I definitely take it... have taken the entire year I've been doing this.

The main thing I wish people could understand is there is a difference in reviewing something that isn't finished yet versus a complete project. I enjoy VN's also. And we've all played many that are unfinished. In all honesty, perhaps I bit back a little too hard. Being a dev for an adult game is like standing in front of a crowd, naked... Everyone gets to point, and laugh, and judge everything and there is nothing you can really do but press on. Yes, I get a lot of positive feedback. If I'm being honest, your thoughts on Serenity don't seem to be the overall crowd's opinion.

Perhaps in the future, keep in mind that the dev you're probably speaking to has already been given plenty of shit on his work. Also try to remember that most of these things, mine for sure... are updated with changes that hope to improve it. I could tell you didn't go back and play it from the start because of you mentioning the mom/nipple thing. I removed that months ago because I realized it didn't make sense. I rewrote a lot of things in fact, and completely re-rendered days 1 thought 3, parts of 4 and have every intention to go and redo more of it. The first confrontation with Morgan at her house, and those 'stop-animation' things still need to be addressed. Of course, the first scene with Trina hasn't changed that much and you didn't like that.

What you have to understand is that when a loved one was sick for so long then dies, that hurts. But it also is a form of relief because that person isn't suffering anymore. People tend to deal with death in many ways. Did I go a little nuts with it? Yep, probably did. When I first wrote this story, I had just lost a VERY dear Aunt to cancer. She was like a best friend to me. And I've never said that since starting this thing. So how it appears to you may seem strange but to people who've dealt with this sort of loss, it isn't actually all that strange the way they are acting.j

Anyway, thank you for your reply Porthas. We're cool. I hope you go back and check out the changes you may have missed. Take care...

 

[jvovl]

Please help me, guys. Which game is the Celeste guest character from?

 

[Deleted member 2553135]

Please help me, guys. Which game is the Celeste guest character from?

She is from Sylphine.

 

[N2TheFire]

Please help me, guys. Which game is the Celeste guest character from?

Yes, jvovl is correct. However, keep in mind that Glacerose changed the appearance of all the characters since I added her. Mostly Celeste's biggest change though is that her hair is now blonde in his game. But originally she had the pink hair.

 

[paradroid]

Please help me, guys. Which game is the Celeste guest character from?

As others have said including the esteemed creator, the game is Sylphine.

https://f95zone.to/threads/sylphine-v-024-glacerose.57733/

 

[N2TheFire]

New public devlog posted:

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[ImperialD]

New public devlog posted:

You must be registered to see the links

View attachment 1506196

o.k. now you got me thinking .... just what are you planning
well i'm sure it'll be pretty awesome ... or else jk .. jk .. i'm sure it's gonna be awesome .. thanks for the heads up