- Thread starter Fapulous Creations
- Start date
- May 6, 2019
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I tried to avoid Mother/Son incest... but she has a young Neighbour who could be her son from his age
- May 13, 2017
- 94
- 158
I downloaded not knowing that this is a Kinetic Novel, but i have to say that this novel is pretty good. I do see it as the usual female MC getting corrupted, but it is fine. There are instances of overwriting, I would lessen it just a bit. I commend the @Fapulous Creations for a good start so far. I look forward to future developments.
I really like the premise and the story so far.
At some points the writing was a bit too long, I think, but overall decent I'd say. At some points quite funny and entertaining, in other points appropriately heavy.
The only real "problem" that I see is that there are no choices.
I understand that's what the dev wanted, so I have to respect that, but this could be so much better with choices, or at least, if choices would be introduced a bit later, because now everything is still more or less introduction.
*IF* Simon's purpose is to get the MC sufficiently out of her shell so that she'd *willingly* cheat on her husband then it would be great to have some paths. Personally I'm hoping for a pure lesbian path with the daughter, but I could also imagine a path with the neighbour kid or with a gang of blacks. But Simon forcing all of the above on her without player involvement seems a bit boring and would defeat the purpose and advantage of a game: giving the player the option to influence the story.
Also I do think she gave in to Simon a bit too easily. I see some people here in the thread are saying "he could kill the daughter" but Simon never threatened with that, the worse he threatened with was the daughter being gangraped in the shower. But that's kind of easy to prevent (don't take showers) so it's a bit lame. I realise that it's easy for me to say, but the threat could be put a bit more apparent and real, like some "accidents" almost happening to the daughter, e.g. near-collision with a car, falling bricks from a construction site, bullies molesting her at school, etc., with mom witnessing this live on camera.
At some points the writing was a bit too long, I think, but overall decent I'd say. At some points quite funny and entertaining, in other points appropriately heavy.
The only real "problem" that I see is that there are no choices.
I understand that's what the dev wanted, so I have to respect that, but this could be so much better with choices, or at least, if choices would be introduced a bit later, because now everything is still more or less introduction.
*IF* Simon's purpose is to get the MC sufficiently out of her shell so that she'd *willingly* cheat on her husband then it would be great to have some paths. Personally I'm hoping for a pure lesbian path with the daughter, but I could also imagine a path with the neighbour kid or with a gang of blacks. But Simon forcing all of the above on her without player involvement seems a bit boring and would defeat the purpose and advantage of a game: giving the player the option to influence the story.
Also I do think she gave in to Simon a bit too easily. I see some people here in the thread are saying "he could kill the daughter" but Simon never threatened with that, the worse he threatened with was the daughter being gangraped in the shower. But that's kind of easy to prevent (don't take showers) so it's a bit lame. I realise that it's easy for me to say, but the threat could be put a bit more apparent and real, like some "accidents" almost happening to the daughter, e.g. near-collision with a car, falling bricks from a construction site, bullies molesting her at school, etc., with mom witnessing this live on camera.
- May 6, 2019
- 10
- 38
Thanks for your feedback!
Simon Actually threatened her life in a sense
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.On the interactivity and choices part: I will make it happen. I didn't think that it would be such a big deal making a kinetic novel because i am the kind of player who often finds himself annoyed by too many choices and paths when a game has good story. I always feel that i miss something and i am also not a fan of replaying things just to see an alternate path. But that's just me and when you all think different then it's no problem to add some choices for you.
Overall a lot of good points i have to wrap my head around. Thank you!
You are right, I didn't think of that scene. Still, with a bit of common sense and awareness it would be easy for them to avoid such situations.
If you feel that way, then you could still make it fairly linear but with choices to see or avoid certain content.
The problem is, that if Simon is doing this to get back at the husband, then different choices may have different effects on their relationship. For instance, fooling around with D is different from being gangraped.
- May 6, 2019
- 10
- 38
The reason why Simon showed her the stuff about the daughter was to make clear that he has influence and can do basically whatever he wants, whenever he wants with the Daughter because...
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Again on the choice part: What i definitely don't want to do is implement choices for the sake of having choices, just to shut people up who want choices. I played alot of games that had choices that didn't matter or had so little impact on the game that i would've prefered them not being in there atall. I could give the player choices to skip content with fetish they don't like... but i can not do that for every fetish i will include because for the story alot of them are mandatory
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Thanks again for your feedback, it is much appreciated!
Just please don't overdo it with the choices thing. They usually have a butterfly effect and depending on the outcome of each decision it might end up branching the game and double or quadruplicate the amount of work you have to do for each update, burning you out, frustrating you and making you lose motivation because even with all the choices and work people will still complain.
You have a very promising game here and I'd hate to see it being abandoned.
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When people talk about content, it usually means "porn" content. While true that I spent (wasted?) an hour or so on this game, I would say 45 of those minutes were me half-skipping through some not at all interesting dialogue. Buildup is fine, but the bad dialogue, bad graphics and zero player interaction make this game basically a really boring text wall.
- May 6, 2019
- 10
- 38
I am sorry you feel that way.
I wrote in the developer notes in the OP that there is not really any porn content in the game so far besides some nudity.
I mean.. it's right there ... and additionally a look at the current tags should make it obvious that you will see some tits and maybe an ass but no fucking, no gangbangs or whatever people expect in the first 5 minutes of a new first release game these days.
I agree it can be a Wall of Text but if you look into the developer notes.... again... i planned the first release as a introduction so... naturally you get alot of exposition and alot of text. And again, i'm sorry that you think that of it all as bad an boring. I personally hope that it is not in general... but i wonder how you can say that it is when you skipped through 3/4th of it? But it does not really matter. I heard you and all the others about the player interaction part and i will work on that in the future.
Thanks for your feedback!
