I'm loving that commentary up there, about halfway through it. Reading it at pace with a playthrough (though not the same choices all the time.)
Quick question, I was just noticing, when the MC goes back to the dream sequence/loop of walking in on Shannon and Trevor, he starts it off by saying an unknown male had called him saying he had to get home right away because of an emergency. So far I don't think it has been revealed who made that call. Are we assuming it was Trevor? Maybe at Shannon's prompting? Though that doesn't make sense, her getting caught puts her at a disadvantage so I don't think it was her idea. If it was Trevor, why? It doesn't seem like he was trying to get back with Shannon, and we don't know enough about him to think he'd do it vindictively to mess with the MC. And if not him, who else could it have been?
Also, it annoys me that Lilith's default nickname is Lilly instead of Lily. Yes, some people spell it with too many L's but they are wrong.