I wanna preface my comment with the fact that I really like this game. It's the ongoing game that I most look forward to updates for, along with Eternum, Cosy Cafe, and Ripples. This is the first time that I feel like I can give meaningful criticism.
I wanna start with the stuff I liked. I really liked the stuff with Centoria. I've always been an advocate for her inclusion, so I was really happy to see her invited by Torr and Candy for a sleepover. It was also great to finally know more about her background and personality. The sex scenes, as always were really good quality. The dream sequence with Yumi near the end also really stood out to me. It genuinely had me questioning whether or not Yumi was dead the whole time because I was genuinely having trouble remembering things she specifically did. I think it would have even fooled me if they didn't start trying to imply that everything that happened up to that point wasn't real.
For things that I feel like could be improved: It's already been pointed out by others, but I feel like a lot of the transitions felt off. Things happen so fast in comparison to precious chapters. Like at the beginning, after the dream, the MC wakes up, they say we need to leave, we get one frame of them leaving, and then we're back at the village. These transitions just feel so abrupt that they took me out of the moment. Most of them simply felt abrupt, but a few left me confused as to what actually happened. I'm still confused what exactly happened with Auge. It seemed like we were on our way to meet her, but Annie suddenly knows the information already, and then we run into the demons, then we avoid the attack, and then we're banging, and then we're going back to the village? So did we ever meet Auge and it was offscreen, or did we just decide not to? I mentioned before, how I liked the part where they tried to convince you that Yumi was actually dead the whole time, but the transition from that to them trying to convince you that everything was fake, felt weirdly sudden.
I did say that I really enjoyed the sex scenes, but I feel like the same fort of transitional issues applied to those. I think it worked for the scene with Stephenie, the scene with Candy and Torr, and the scene with Gabby and Venus. I didn't have so much of a transitional problem with the Tamara and Hailey scene, but that scene left me questioning why. It seemed like she just wanted to fuck a dildo. I don't really why Tamara wanted or needed the MC involved or what she got out of it, especially since she's still trying to play up the idea that she doesn't like him. Maybe this will be answered later, but that was a question I had after the fact. The scene with Annabelle also felt really abrupt too, especially with how much development there was to it. Compare it to Torr's scene last part, which involved a lot of foreplay and the scene of her stripping leading up to sex. It felt intimate. In comparison, the Annie's lacked the proper build up that I think it deserved. I would have liked for it to start with a passionate follow-up kiss, maybe some groping, finally leading up to sex. I'm not even sure how they even escaped.
Overall, I like the narrative contents of this chapter. I just felt that the overall pacing was too fast. It just didn't really leave enough time to properly enjoy and appreciate the scenes.
I also want to say sorry to
Flynn974 for the financial issues that you are experiencing right now. Have you considered opening a SubscribeStar page? I know a lot of people don't like to use Patreon, so it could potentially allow for new users to pledge through there.
