VN Ren'Py Stray Incubus [S2 Ch.2a] [Flynn974]

[BlasKyau]

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Anyway, if you don't like her, you won't have to deal with her as a LI, don't worry. Same goes for all the others, really.

Ok, I'll see how the game evolves in this regard. It wouldn't be the first time that an LI that started off disliking me ends up being to my liking.

 

[mrttao]

THX!!! HAREM - NTR

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but... this forum does not have those 2 emojis as allowed reaction buttons.
I mean, there is a blue like which is somewhat similar to the thumb up.
and I could respond in a brand new post with that emoji (But that will just be a mess).
the instructions on this vote are unclear.

 

[mrttao]

page 2 of the gallery has no button to exit the gallery. only page 1 does
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why does the MC's house have no walls?

 

[Flynn974]

why does the MC's house have no walls?
View attachment 2122494

also, page 2 of the gallery has no button to exit the gallery. only page 1 does

It's not a house, it's a cave which they live in. The 2nd page has a back button which brings you back to the first page, from there you can go back to stats.

 

[Flynn974]

but... this forum does not have those 2 emojis as allowed reaction buttons.
I mean, there is a blue like which is somewhat similar to the thumb up.
and I could respond in a brand new post with that emoji (But that will just be a mess).
the instructions on this vote are unclear.

I don't think it's a vote. He's just saying that he like harem and hates NTR.

 

[mrttao]

The 2nd page has a back button which brings you back to the first page, from there you can go back to stats.

Yes, I know. I am saying it should also have a button to close the page entirely. you shouldn't need to navigate back to the 1st page to exit. you should be able to exit from any page.

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ok wtf.
there are too many skipped/implied conversations here.

MC explicitly thinks he is an elf. and is wearing the hat that hides his ears as per his adoptive mom instructions to always hide his ears.
so... some ninja girl just told him that she thinks his step-mom is burning hot because she got accidentally cursed by an incubus, maybe even the MC! (how does she know that?). he responds with just forgetting about finding a cure and going to join the ninjas

there, there is a fade to black to skip the conversation that skips over all dialog between him and the ninja leadership.
then they come and say the line in the picture which implies that he told them he is an incubus?

you really need to use less fade to black to skip over conversations.
write out the conversations out in full.

 

[Flynn974]

Yes, I know. I am saying it should also have a button to close the page entirely. you shouldn't need to navigate back to the 1st page to exit. you should be able to exit from any page.

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View attachment 2122528

ok wtf.
there are too many skipped/implied conversations here.

MC explicitly thinks he is an elf. and is wearing the hat that hides his ears as per his adoptive mom instructions to always hide his ears.
so... some ninja girl just told him that she thinks his step-mom is burning hot because she got accidentally cursed by an incubus, maybe even the MC! (how does she know that?). he responds with just forgetting about finding a cure and going to join the ninjas

there, there is a fade to black to skip the conversation that skips over all dialog between him and the ninja leadership.
then they come and say the line in the picture which implies that he told them he is an incubus?

you really need to use less fade to black to skip over conversations.
write out the conversations out in full.

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[mrttao]

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alright. fair enough. but it still would have been clearer if you didn't skip the part of the conversation where he is asking to join the ninjas.
it just goes
> Hi, I am here to tell you yumi is safe
> also there is another thing I have to say
> fade to black

it just skipped the entire conversation where he asked to join. it feels like this is not the only time this happens. which I think detracts from the story.

so far it is pretty good. but I think it would be better with fewer such skips.

 

[Flynn974]

alright. fair enough. but it still would have been clearer if you didn't skip the part of the conversation where he is asking to join the ninjas.
it just goes
> Hi, I am here to tell you yumi is safe
> also there is another thing I have to say
> fade to black

it just skipped the entire conversation where he asked to join. it feels like this is not the only time this happens. which I think detracts from the story.

so far it is pretty good. but I think it would be better with fewer such skips.

I see your point. Honestly chapter 1 wasn't my best. Going back to it I feel it was too shallow. I guess this also means that I improved as a writer, or at least I hope so.

Thanks for the feedback, if anything, it helps me improve the game.

 

[JohnF95zone]

alright. fair enough. but it still would have been clearer if you didn't skip the part of the conversation where he is asking to join the ninjas.
it just goes
> Hi, I am here to tell you yumi is safe
> also there is another thing I have to say
> fade to black

it just skipped the entire conversation where he asked to join. it feels like this is not the only time this happens. which I think detracts from the story.

so far it is pretty good. but I think it would be better with fewer such skips.

I see your point. Honestly chapter 1 wasn't my best. Going back to it I feel it was too shallow. I guess this also means that I improved as a writer, or at least I hope so.

Thanks for the feedback, if anything, it helps me improve the game.

I haven't played that far into the game, just reached the Ninja village and meeting with keres Anabelle. Regarding the fade black out, I noticed that too multiple times actually, it is a little bit odd (unconventional but also unique) but then I realized the reason behind it is so that there are less repeated dialogues, so that at most the dialogues were spoken just once. Some players might find it to be an irk but others might not (probably those who closely follow and read the dialogues can quickly pick up what went on during the blackout). Anyway, it is up to the Flynn on how to best navigate around this issue and perhaps take into consideration what the majority players got to say. So far the narrative is pretty simple and light, very easy to follow but it is too early to provide a comprehensive verdict. I am also currently checking typos in the game and will directly report to Flynn my findings. Cheers.

 

[mrttao]

flynn for the gallery. currently it shows each scene as greyed out unless you hover over it AND it is an unlocked scene.
I would suggest not requiring hovering over it with the mouse. greyed out should be for locked, color for unlocked.
that way you can see all the locked/unlock statuses at a glance instead of having to hover over each scene idividually

also, the gallery seems to be save specific. so if you do a route in save A and a different route in save B, you can't see the scenes from the other route.
you should use the persistent file instead for gallery unlocks.

 

[herreraaa]

Click delay/changing renders delay extend to other chapters or its just on ch1?
Thats really annoying.

 

[hysepReC]

Click delay/changing renders delay extend to other chapters or its just on ch1?
Thats really annoying.

Seems to be a consistent thing, i agree it is annoying. That and having a splash screen pop up every 5 minutes is putting me off from continuing to be honest.

 

[Flynn974]

Click delay/changing renders delay extend to other chapters or its just on ch1?
Thats really annoying.

Seems to be a consistent thing, i agree it is annoying. That and having a splash screen pop up every 5 minutes is putting me off from continuing to be honest.

Do you guys mean when one scene ends and the game skips to the next. The way it fades to black then a splash screen comes out where you have to click to skip it and jump to the next scene? Is this what you find annoying?

 

[Flynn974]

flynn for the gallery. currently it shows each scene as greyed out unless you hover over it AND it is an unlocked scene.
I would suggest not requiring hovering over it with the mouse. greyed out should be for locked, color for unlocked.
that way you can see all the locked/unlock statuses at a glance instead of having to hover over each scene idividually

also, the gallery seems to be save specific. so if you do a route in save A and a different route in save B, you can't see the scenes from the other route.
you should use the persistent file instead for gallery unlocks.

Good points. Removing the greyed out until hovered if the scene is unlocked is probably a good idea and something I can do. Maybe I can put a 'locked' symbol on looked ones. A save independent gallery is also a very good idea. It didn't actually occur to me. I'll see if I can write something like that or copy some code from a Ren'py forum XD.

 

[hysepReC]

Do you guys mean when one scene ends and the game skips to the next. The way it fades to black then a splash screen comes out where you have to click to skip it and jump to the next scene? Is this what you find annoying?

It's two things for me.

• The splash screen you mentioned. The images are nice but they appear way too often, it disrupts the flow of the story. I think it would be better to put them in the gallery.
• After reading the text on the screen and clicking to get to the next, there's sometimes a 1-2 second delay before it appears. It was very noticeable during the mission to protect Yoshida because there you have to constantly select which direction you want to look/go.

I do like the girls in this game (especially Torr, she's so cute) but it's quite irritating to feel like i have to spam click to get the text to appear at a decent pace.

 

[Terrorist495]

Stuck this place

 

[Flynn974]

Stuck this place
View attachment 2124016

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[Flynn974]

It's two things for me.

• The splash screen you mentioned. The images are nice but they appear way too often, it disrupts the flow of the story. I think it would be better to put them in the gallery.
• After reading the text on the screen and clicking to get to the next, there's sometimes a 1-2 second delay before it appears. It was very noticeable during the mission to protect Yoshida because there you have to constantly select which direction you want to look/go.

I do like the girls in this game (especially Torr, she's so cute) but it's quite irritating to feel like i have to spam click to get the text to appear at a decent pace.

Maybe you're right about the splash screens being too frequent. It might break the immerse as you say. I'll try to make this less of an issue in chapter 5, at least. Thanks!

 

[mrttao]

Good points. Removing the greyed out until hovered if the scene is unlocked is probably a good idea and something I can do. Maybe I can put a 'locked' symbol on looked ones. A save independent gallery is also a very good idea. It didn't actually occur to me. I'll see if I can write something like that or copy some code from a Ren'py forum XD.

thank you.
anyways, keep up the good work. this game is fantastic. its not every day that I find a 5 stars game.