- Thread starter Flynn974
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Not bad. Not amazing, but not bad either.
The writing is a little on the nose, especially in the beginning, you can see that dev doesn't have a lot of experience writing, so it would require some generous amounts of polish here and there, but for what it is - not awful at all.
I like the world building - like someone has already said, the use of Greek mythology and Christian demons is a little weird, but at least it is unique. God only knows, we need some originality in our entertainment. I did find the "Naruto-esque" ninjas slightly cringe in the beginning (by the end I got used to them I guess), but that's because I hate Naruto itself, so...
I also liked the adventure/mission/quest-style storytelling so far. It might eventually turn too schematic in the future, but for now it works quite well.
I had a bit of an issue with the infodumps, I noticed myself skipping through some of them. Also, the "quirky" dev commentaries/4th wall breaks... Personally, I would make them go. Especially considering you still have a line saying "You haven't finished chapter 6 yet" in the script. I would say you should have more faith in your audience that they will pick up stuff on their own, even if it's not stated outright... but it's a tricky balance.
Also, you might want to look into adding BGM. Reading this in silence isn't really bad, but adding some good BGM can give your story that extra flair.
Other than that, I feel like there are some issues in terms of overall story/narrative structure - a trivial example of this is when Tamara talks to you about how you are being cared for. If it was me, I wouldn't have made her spill her beans about her backstory back then, rather I would've just made her leave an ambiguous comment, build some mystery/tension around what she meant by it, then made the topic of her parents (was it?) pop up several chapters later where she's the centre of attention, for a bigger emotional payout. As it is, I feel like you've robbed yourself of a chance to build up drama around her character by spilling the beans too early. It might be just me, though - maybe you have some ideas up your sleeve, I don't know.
My point is, taking into consideration what purpose does every scene have in terms of story structure and audience's emotional reception can help you polish the quality of your storytelling, so you may want to look into that in the future if you haven't already.
Overall it's fun for what it is, I'd give it... low-end 7/10. Not very high on my watchlist, but I might come back to check out the updates in a year or so.
The writing is a little on the nose, especially in the beginning, you can see that dev doesn't have a lot of experience writing, so it would require some generous amounts of polish here and there, but for what it is - not awful at all.
I like the world building - like someone has already said, the use of Greek mythology and Christian demons is a little weird, but at least it is unique. God only knows, we need some originality in our entertainment. I did find the "Naruto-esque" ninjas slightly cringe in the beginning (by the end I got used to them I guess), but that's because I hate Naruto itself, so...
I also liked the adventure/mission/quest-style storytelling so far. It might eventually turn too schematic in the future, but for now it works quite well.
I had a bit of an issue with the infodumps, I noticed myself skipping through some of them. Also, the "quirky" dev commentaries/4th wall breaks... Personally, I would make them go. Especially considering you still have a line saying "You haven't finished chapter 6 yet" in the script. I would say you should have more faith in your audience that they will pick up stuff on their own, even if it's not stated outright... but it's a tricky balance.
Also, you might want to look into adding BGM. Reading this in silence isn't really bad, but adding some good BGM can give your story that extra flair.
Other than that, I feel like there are some issues in terms of overall story/narrative structure - a trivial example of this is when Tamara talks to you about how you are being cared for. If it was me, I wouldn't have made her spill her beans about her backstory back then, rather I would've just made her leave an ambiguous comment, build some mystery/tension around what she meant by it, then made the topic of her parents (was it?) pop up several chapters later where she's the centre of attention, for a bigger emotional payout. As it is, I feel like you've robbed yourself of a chance to build up drama around her character by spilling the beans too early. It might be just me, though - maybe you have some ideas up your sleeve, I don't know.
My point is, taking into consideration what purpose does every scene have in terms of story structure and audience's emotional reception can help you polish the quality of your storytelling, so you may want to look into that in the future if you haven't already.
Overall it's fun for what it is, I'd give it... low-end 7/10. Not very high on my watchlist, but I might come back to check out the updates in a year or so.
- Oct 31, 2017
- 2,016
- 3,495
I don't know how Vote polls work but I'm guessing it tracks votes from unique members i.e. as of this moment there are 524 unique voters (subsets of unique players), which is great
. I am assuming that recasting your vote does not count as new additional vote.
The poll was created shortly just after v0.5a was released (27th November 2022).
Just before v0.6a was released, the total votes are 300.
So, in less than a week there are 224 new votes, which almost doubled the previous release.
There were less than 20 votes for Other (prior to v0.6a), now it has 49 votes. I think substantial amount of the Other votes are for Misty, as evident here and here.
In summary, this game is gaining traction with increase visibility and interest.
. I am assuming that recasting your vote does not count as new additional vote.The poll was created shortly just after v0.5a was released (27th November 2022).
Just before v0.6a was released, the total votes are 300.
So, in less than a week there are 224 new votes, which almost doubled the previous release
.There were less than 20 votes for Other (prior to v0.6a), now it has 49 votes. I think substantial amount of the Other votes are for Misty, as evident here and here.
In summary, this game is gaining traction with increase visibility and interest
.
I don't really like Naruto either XD. But it admittedly has some really good ideas, which is why I used some...
Hmm... Yup. I think you have a pretty solid point here. I'm ultimately trying to improve my writing, so stuff like this is gold to me. Thanks!
Yup! I'm really happy it's significantly gaining attention. I wasn't expecting to get so far in just about 4 months!I don't know how Vote polls work but I'm guessing it tracks votes from unique members i.e. as of this moment there are 524 unique voters (subsets of unique players), which is great
The poll was created shortly just after v0.5a was released (27th November 2022).
Just before v0.6a was released, the total votes are 300.
So, in less than a week there are 224 new votes, which almost doubled the previous release
There were less than 20 votes for Other (prior to v0.6a), now it has 49 votes. I think substantial amount of the Other votes are for Misty, as evident here and here.
In summary, this game is gaining traction with increase visibility and interest
- Oct 31, 2017
- 2,016
- 3,495
Chapter 6 (v0.6a) Brief Reviews and Feedbacks
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Last edited:
Amazing insight as ever!
I still remember your message guessing who the butcher is and their motive, almost 100% correctly I might add.
It's really cool to see that someone is paying all this attention to details... God knows they're difficult AF to make...
So, thank you, John!
- Jul 20, 2021
- 1,638
- 3,255
Well I had no issues competing that intimate scene. I also had no wt mod installed...I just used the 0x52_URM Ren'py tool.
- Oct 31, 2017
- 2,016
- 3,495
Yeah, me too, no issue but Flynn974 figured out the problem here and already posted the fix as a patch in the OP (and I am guessing in Discord also).
In computer jargon, the issue was caused by loosely what is referred to as a 'memory leak'. So, by properly hiding animated scenes, does the job.
- Oct 31, 2017
- 2,016
- 3,495
Yeah, I would say my guess was (almost) 50% correctAmazing insight as ever!
I still remember your message guessing who the butcher is and their motive, almost 100% correctly I might add.
It's really cool to see that someone is paying all this attention to details... God knows they're difficult AF to make...
So, thank you, John!
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- Jun 27, 2019
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- Oct 31, 2017
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Pregnancy content will only be available late game based on Flynn974's answers here and here. Although it was not mentioned if pregnancy will be optional / avoidable or not, in general most scenes are avoidable (especially when it involves LIs). So, I believe that this is also the case with pregnancy.
You have to wait Flynn974 for confirmation after returning from short break / vacation (if I am not mistaken).
Yup. I'm planning to make it 100% optional.
Wow! Candy is above Seira in the poll now! I didn't see that coming... Especially after that last scene in chapter 6. You never know how these polls go, do you...
I didn't see that coming... Especially after that last scene in chapter 6. You never know how these polls go, do you...
- Feb 16, 2022
- 993
- 3,587
Femdom? Avoidable. Just stay at the ninja village instead of walking home.
I'm only in about an hour or so in the game and so far i love it. Normally it would bother me that there is no sound or music but it hasn't bothered me because of the art and story so far. I'm enjoying so far i hope it stays that way it is hard to find good VN's like this one. Keep up the good work Dev.
Having completede the current game I have to say it is really good. Great scenes and characters.
About most scenes being straight forward I struggled a lot with the succubus scenes. Number 1 and 2 in the gallery due to returning home seemed nonsensical at the moment it happened.
One thing I have seen before which would be really nice for these type of games is a short description when you hover over a locked scene about how to get that scene. A small hint like: "Might meet some strangers on your way home". This would aid greatly with getting all scenes while also fully experiencing the game and not using a save or cheats.
About most scenes being straight forward I struggled a lot with the succubus scenes. Number 1 and 2 in the gallery due to returning home seemed nonsensical at the moment it happened.
One thing I have seen before which would be really nice for these type of games is a short description when you hover over a locked scene about how to get that scene. A small hint like: "Might meet some strangers on your way home". This would aid greatly with getting all scenes while also fully experiencing the game and not using a save or cheats.
This is great! The characters are either hot, cute or a nice combination of both; the plot is interesting and has a good writing and the sex scenes aswell as the scenarios are well done.
At the beginning i felt a little put off by the lack of music/voices/ambient sounds and it definitely could've helped on many situations
but while playing it i ended up forgetting about it due to how into the story and characters i was.
Good work so far, keep it up dev!
At the beginning i felt a little put off by the lack of music/voices/ambient sounds and it definitely could've helped on many situations
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Good work so far, keep it up dev!