What the- Why wasn't I- Fuck it, let's go!
Changelog:
New scene, cowgirl with optional breastfeeding and... hAnDhOlDiNg. So shameless.
Four new cards:
Thunder Spirit, a 3 cost natural spirit. 5/1 with First Strike, Long Handle, Pursuit 1... and Durability 1. A double-hitting Darkness for most cards that dies to other Long Handle minions, 'kay.
Elite Longbowman, a 3-cost Human Commoner. 3/1. When summoned, she summons a 'Barracade' token, 1/1, with 'Protector,' 'Mirage,' and 'Harmless,' which prevents the Barracade from attacking or blocking your opponent's squeezers. In addition, the Barracade has a special effect that activates when it's attacked by a minion with 'First Strike' or 'Calvary,' which sends both itself and the attacker to the graveyard. Kinda spooky, but just donk it with a token of your own, Forest Spirits will eat her alive.
Well-Paid Mercenary, 4-cost Human Commoner. 3/4, with 'Counter Hit,' causing anyone who attacks him to be destroyed after damage calculation. He also has a summon effect: When summoned, all minions on your opponent's side of the field with 'Long Handle' lose that ability and -1 ATK. Behold, this is your Royal Knight Counter.
High-Pressure Fleshlight, 4-cost stationary creation, machine. Squeeze 3, generate 3. Now THAT is spooky.
No balance changes or card tweaks this time, but the new cards seem to be anti-Dragon in nature. Okay, sure, Big Breast Hungry Succubus was oppressive, but there's a new set of tits in town that's both way more fun to play and more annoying to fight. Maybe next month.
-In addition, monster effects that target themselves (Manticore, Scholar, Cow) no longer require confirmation to activate. Yay! Now do it for the fucking AI in general so I can tab out during their turns.