Too slow! B variant is already out! Oh,
Oblivion9873...
Changelog;
New Squeezer... whose name is complete and utter nonsense. Faithless Succubus? Greedy Succubus? She has a money/debt theme...
Her abilities revolve around Donations, which means I might have to rename them to be more accurate to their RAW translation, 'Wads' (of cash).
Okay, Seal 9, that's insane.
Her primary is standard Mouth Attribute mana generation, 1 extra damage but also unseals her by 1 and generates a Donation. Notably, no Unseal effects, either by extra damage or other effects. ...Human decks are fucking dead, aren't they? IDOL is fucking dead, isn't she?
Her secondary is also Mouth Attribute, but also Penetration I think. 2 damage 1 unseal, dRaWs A cArD fRoM tHe TaRgEt (the fucking hell), and summons one 'Debt' token to the target's side of the field, which is a Stationary Strategy we'll discuss in a second. Here's the problem. When Unsealed, if you use this on yourself, THE ABILITY DOES NOT CONSUME AN ACTION. Seal 9 is right, draw 3 Unseals and she will just fucking draw your entire deck for funzies. SoWaD players are fucking cumming in her hand right now, more then usual. So, what are these 'Debt' tokens?
'Debt' tokens are a Stationary Strategy with Mirage, of course. They have two effects: They can be banished by banishing 1 'Donation' on your side of the field as well, and at the end of your turn, they duplicate themselves like Slimes (without the damage, of course). If you have 13 more 'Debt' then 'Donations' on your field after this effect resolves, yOu LoSe ThE dUeL. Fucking hell, SoPS taught them nothing... and she was at least my fetish!
Third ability is Penetration. 3 damage, 3 unseal, standard turbo unseal ability. When unsealed, summons a Mouth Slave Crest to the target's field, which of course allows direct-fire of Mouth abilities and generates a Debt token when hit with Mouth.
Fourth ability (!?) is her Big Breast Ability: 3 damage, no unseal. Summon two Debt tokens to the target's field, and summon 3 Donations to hers. Neat, but definitely the weakest part of this kit.
Overall... Get your fucking raincoats boys, this one's gonna be bad.
She doesn't even have good synergy with Hungry, being much better SoWaD support then... Student. That's just sad.
(Yes she does. At the bottom, you'll see.)
She has a blow... tonguejob scene, and turns out she's into blindfolding. That tongue is SCARY, though... I understand why she walks around with her mouth open like that.
She also has a Campaign deck, somehow, which wasn't showing up resulting in the emergency hotfix.
Two new Cards, Red moon and Blue Moon, both Stationary Natural Miracles.
Red moon costs 2 mana, and gives all non-creation squeezers on both sides of the field +1 Pursuit when they force squeeze. So, Gift a Burn the Contracts to your opponent, then hit them for... slightly more damage? Kinda useless.
Blue Moon is 5-cost, Unique, and has the exact same ability... except that +1 is global. Now THAT is a spicy meatball, but unlike, say, Industrial Revolution, your enemy is probably going to benefit from this just as you do, even though their deck isn't built for it. Interesting, I guess...
Oh, and now there are mute buttons in the sound effect settings, plus another category that targets sound effects in scenes specifically. Okay.
Right, and Donations now have to be discarded in bulk to set the cost of a strategy/human minion in your hand to zero, instead of discarding them 1-by-1 to lower the cost one by one. Less flexible, but the AI will appreciate not being able to waste them.
Ah, and because I didn't notice... Hungry and Faithless have a Team-Up ability. 4 damage, 2 unseal. Summons a Donation to your side of the field, and you get a dEsTiNy DrAw from the target's deck, IE, you get to choose a card from their deck and draw it. Additionally, if it is a Ring (Hunter's or Charm) you generate 'Debt' equal to the cost, but it becomes free. Because what even is balance!?