VN Ren'Py Onhold Summer Story [v0.3.1] [Logo]

[Jorjor69]

I understand that not everyone will like it, especially considering that I wrote a small book of text, so I don't want to push.
The plot of the game will not be finished, so I will make a survey whether there will be more board evenings.

I for one does not find the initial idea of incorporating D&D [which I am not too fond of as a game irl], which I worry would hinder or distract the fluidity and plausibility of the game but creative license belongs to the writer/developer so I had to suspend disbelief and doubt and see how it pans out.

Lately however, I am beginning to salivate on the idea that the D&D game sessions could lead to fantasy-roleplaying by the siblings turning in to some steamy, sexy, even full-on action, as they all get too immersed in the game, helping the breaking of whatever little boundary was left when they are in their normal daily lives! That could be justified as they play lover-questors in their game, as they enact sex fantasies, Kasie being an elven princess for instance, being groped, kissed, licked, and even touched in her sensitive treasure under her panties as she also groped the twins' massive erection under their briefs, as they all got carried away like their D&D characters possessed them completely!

 

[DarthSpitz717]

Thank you for the detailed review. What's up with the plot holes? I will be glad if you point them out


Thank you for your support


I understand that not everyone will like it, especially considering that I wrote a small book of text, so I don't want to push.
The plot of the game will not be finished, so I will make a survey whether there will be more board evenings.

The plot

Thank you for the detailed review. What's up with the plot holes? I will be glad if you point them out


Thank you for your support


I understand that not everyone will like it, especially considering that I wrote a small book of text, so I don't want to push.
The plot of the game will not be finished, so I will make a survey whether there will be more board evenings.

***In an earlier review I wrote:
"
The shopping thing in this release, weak. Sure, better twists could have been in the story regarding going shopping, like Derrek and/or Kenny walking in on a naked Kassie; the only difference Kassie being secretively turned on being seen naked while protesting how immoral it was to be seen naked by her brothers. The part Kassie stating to herself she wanted to see Derrek's cock was a little out of the blue--or the inner statement that had Derrek (forced her or encouraged her head toward his cock) that she would have wanted to give him a BJ.

What I had expected was the almost deed getting done... something like Derrek rolls on top of Kassie, starts to kiss her, getting her so aroused when he starts to suck on her nipples that she opens her legs and can feal his cock at her opening (dry humping) that she almost allows Derrek to remove her panties."

Don't take my comments as criticism, nor even useful or useless suggestions... you've done a bang-up job with or without my commentary what you have done up to this point has good flow, developed character personalities, and has a strong storyline. True the dialogue isn't perfect English but that is to be expected...I wish you had some more assistance in getting this into other languages for others to completely enjoy your works.

The events in your last release was out of character for Kassie without having solve some of her inner conflict to get to these points I have made. The character, Kasie, you made is more timid and shy and we the readers (players) missed that step in Kasie where she has gotten to the point of wanting to see Derek's cock or willing to do a BJ. For a shy girl to give out a BJ, a deeply personal act, without establishing a comfort zone of sexual intimacy first changes Kasie's personality. Mia would be befitting her character build be all the willing to give out BJs and be enthralled to seeing cock

 

[Kassan06969]

Jesus Christ on the crapper and let MC fuck Kassie for crying out loud. No sex/teasing is fucking BORING. Years in it is unacceptable, like the Worst Game Ever Made A Wife and Mother. On the other path you get to fuck her friend pretty quick, but on her path fucking nothing worthwhile. No sex (BJ or handjob doesn't count) by next release this is getting rated 1 star for extreme blue balling. Blue balling sucks donkey balls.

 

[Mommysbuttslut]

Jesus Christ on the crapper and let MC fuck Kassie for crying out loud. No sex/teasing is fucking BORING. Years in it is unacceptable, like the Worst Game Ever Made A Wife and Mother. On the other path you get to fuck her friend pretty quick, but on her path fucking nothing worthwhile. No sex (BJ or handjob doesn't count) by next release this is getting rated 1 star for extreme blue balling. Blue balling sucks donkey balls.

Just go play something else. There's no reason to continue pissing yourself off like this and taking it out on the dev with a troll review helps literally no one. Come back to it in a year and you'll probably be happy where they're at.

 

[NewTricks]

Jesus Christ on the crapper and let MC fuck Kassie for crying out loud. No sex/teasing is fucking BORING. Years in it is unacceptable, like the Worst Game Ever Made A Wife and Mother. On the other path you get to fuck her friend pretty quick, but on her path fucking nothing worthwhile. No sex (BJ or handjob doesn't count) by next release this is getting rated 1 star for extreme blue balling. Blue balling sucks donkey balls.

He fucked her in the NTR route. Go forth and be happy.

 

[Kassan06969]

He fucked her in the NTR route. Go forth and be happy.

Didn't see that but I HATE NTR. Any blueballing games should get only 1 star reviews. People that like blueballing should be in a mental hospital. Blueballing should actually be a tag to warn people. I HATE slow burn period, but glacial burn like this, AWAM or JOHN is completely unacceptable. If it goes like 5 updates no real sex (not handjob, boobjob, footjob or blowjob) it gets the blueball tag.

 

[NewTricks]

Didn't see that but I HATE NTR. Any blueballing games should get only 1 star reviews. People that like blueballing should be in a mental hospital. Blueballing should actually be a tag to warn people. I HATE slow burn period, but glacial burn like this, AWAM or JOHN is completely unacceptable. If it goes like 5 updates no real sex (not handjob, boobjob, footjob or blowjob) it gets the blueball tag.

Well, she isn't going to corrupt herself and fucking your little brother isn't typical behavior for smoking hot chicks in their early 20's soooooooooooo yeah. It's gonna take a while. You can take the corruption shortcut with the boss route or you can play the long game and watch your testicles shrivel into little wrinkled blueberries. Dealer's choice.

 

[spikor]

Didn't see that but I HATE NTR. Any blueballing games should get only 1 star reviews. People that like blueballing should be in a mental hospital. Blueballing should actually be a tag to warn people. I HATE slow burn period, but glacial burn like this, AWAM or JOHN is completely unacceptable. If it goes like 5 updates no real sex (not handjob, boobjob, footjob or blowjob) it gets the blueball tag.

Bruh

The internet has a zillion pentabytes of shallow plot sex videos, why don't you go wank on one of those if you want to see sex after a 1 min intro? Most of the peoples into VNs are adults that like a good story and a slow burn setup before the actual sex scenes, which are almost always underwhelming.

No offense, but I don't understand... You are clearly not into the plot nor the characters nor the eroticism, you are just horny, so why not watch a random video and go on with your life?

I see this behavior in all good games, random kids screaming on top of their lungs to see boobies even if the characters relationship has not even started to develop, I just hope devs are not affected by this costant complaning otherwise we're going to get brazzers level plots even in VNs....

 

[Horny Little Brother]

Didn't see that but I HATE NTR. Any blueballing games should get only 1 star reviews. People that like blueballing should be in a mental hospital. Blueballing should actually be a tag to warn people. I HATE slow burn period, but glacial burn like this, AWAM or JOHN is completely unacceptable. If it goes like 5 updates no real sex (not handjob, boobjob, footjob or blowjob) it gets the blueball tag.

From what you wrote, I deduce that you are a teenager living in adolescence. Of course, you can express your opinions freely, but you cannot compare us to mental patients who need to be put in a mental hospital. You cannot insult us.
If you don't like AWAM, I'll laugh at you. I think you should watch porn.

 

[trety]

logoarh yours game made me remember whole TK17 thing >_<
After 'almost-a-Kasie' VaM port i just spend many days trying to port a pool map.
Cuz it was used in the very first english 3d-cg vn i played years ago.

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[punisher2099]

Anyone else think Kasie looks like a young Mira Sorvino?

 

[Kassan06969]

From what you wrote, I deduce that you are a teenager living in adolescence. Of course, you can express your opinions freely, but you cannot compare us to mental patients who need to be put in a mental hospital. You cannot insult us.
If you don't like AWAM, I'll laugh at you. I think you should watch porn.

Almost 50, actually. Porn is mostly boring. Too much focus on blowjobs, which bore me and not interactive. If you actually like AWAM I wonder if you are someone who hates sex, like a fundamentalist of whatever religion.

 

[DarthSpitz717]

logoarh yours game made me remember whole TK17 thing >_<
After 'almost-a-Kasie' VaM port i just spend many days trying to port a pool map.
Cuz it was used in the very first english 3d-cg vn i played years ago.

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these are great images

 

[Horny Little Brother]

Anyone else think Kasie looks like a young Mira Sorvino?

I always compared her to Emma Suarez.
In the movie called "La ardilla roja", there is a hot shota scene consisting of a single scene.

 

[Jorjor69]

Anyone else think Kasie looks like a young Mira Sorvino?

A little but not much.

Actually, Logo I think drew inspiration from Chloe Grace Moretz--one of my Hollywood crush.

 

[Pr0GamerJohnny]

A little but not much.

Actually, Logo I think drew inspiration from Chloe Grace Moretz--one of my Hollywood crush.

yall are crazy, she looks nothing like either of those, much more like a young Claire Forlani.

 

[kadgilek]

she is a swedish or russian slava beauty

 

[Horny Little Brother]

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Cheers, guys.
I'm still writing the text and script for the update, about 70 percent is already ready.
When writing, I increasingly ask myself why I had to write so much. Well, it was very interesting for me to do this, but it's quite difficult to transfer the mechanics of tabletop role-playing games into a visual novel (I do not advise anyone to do this).

 

[Deleted member 3869711]

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Cheers, guys.
I'm still writing the text and script for the update, about 70 percent is already ready.
When writing, I increasingly ask myself why I had to write so much. Well, it was very interesting for me to do this, but it's quite difficult to transfer the mechanics of tabletop role-playing games into a visual novel (I do not advise anyone to do this).
View attachment 2706230

These little teasers are always welcome!

 

[DarthSpitz717]

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Cheers, guys.
I'm still writing the text and script for the update, about 70 percent is already ready.
When writing, I increasingly ask myself why I had to write so much. Well, it was very interesting for me to do this, but it's quite difficult to transfer the mechanics of tabletop role-playing games into a visual novel (I do not advise anyone to do this).
View attachment 2706230

I am a writer myself and yesssssssss.... a lot of rough draft never makes it into the story. Wager its worst when you're coding a story into a game.

Planning your storyline five steps ahead in a loose rough draft with only concepts detailed. Listing those points you want to work with generally. Then go back and go back for a little more detail on each--then rough draft another five steps before writing on the previous storyline. It gives you a working overview of the story at all times. It avoids plot holes and gives you a chance to catch any weaknesses like timeline conflicts.

It's my understanding the "mother" will appear from earlier comments posted here. From the standpoint of where the story is with character development, you're going to hit against the timeline since summer is quickly passing. One of two things will happen if the story is too far advanced in summer. First, the mother's visit will not be in the game, or second, it'll be a rush to get whatever content you wish to use. An example would be the US school system for summer vacation usually is from the first week of June to the first week of September--it's just a general time marker used in the states and isn't 100% in all areas...suspect in Europe its totally different.