3.80 star(s) 4 Votes

HarveyD

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Oct 15, 2017
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If I had a complaint it'd probably be that the protagonist comes across a bit too much like an incel on the verge of becoming a serial killer. His actual dialogue, what he does, how he reacts and such is fine, but Jeez his thoughts those first two days are ... that's one man ready to go off the rails. Toning him down a touch wouldn't hurt, I feel, and frankly would feel more consistent with how he is in the actual interactions.
Like dear god. Your first introduction to the character is him waking up desperate for literally anyone to suck his cock.
 
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HarveyD

Active Member
Oct 15, 2017
533
850
299
"Most guys leave when they find out... or worse..."

But hey come here into this private room and lock the door whilst I just show you my dick.
 
3.80 star(s) 4 Votes