RPGM Sword Art Online: The Trap of Breath Concealed Magic [verβ3.1] [Fujino]

[albakr0ss]

I thought of a good way I think to appease the community and get the game back on track using all of the info we’ve been given previously. Imagine if the next playable day went as follows

Thursday Morning:
Asuna wakes Kirito up and they decide to go to school together and coincidentally run into Inoda and decide to go to school together.
Shenanigans ensue and Kirito is separated as usual so Inoda takes advantage of situation and feels up Asuna much to her dismay.
Later during the school day, Asuna confronts Inoda telling him basically just because of what happened previously doesn’t mean he can do whatever he wants to her. This makes Inoda actually snap and calls out Asuna and tells her all that she can’t deny the fact that she actually does enjoy (at least on a physical level) all the things they’ve done together. Also says he’s only doing it because he thought it’d help her since previously she looked much happier when they were doing things while recently she looks more stressed than ever (due to mom and kirito things as usual). This slowly starts to convince her and he brings up the idea of Inoda always being there for her at the right time (due to plot and clearly their own scheming) and offers the idea that the previous hj was just basically a “reward” for Inoda for him helping her with her ankle. Inoda could then ask Asuna what’s been bothering her lately and Asuna decides she can probably open up to him about her problems she can’t talk to Kirito about because she needs to maintain an image. She agrees it does help her and she feels grateful, he says he’s glad to help and asks for a reward which she relents to, but he asks for it later.

After school when they log into game, usual shenanigans happen again and the gang all find out about Kiritos new ability and during a battle he has to use it defeat the boss. Inoda takes advantage of the situation and asks for the reward now whilst Kirito is concentrated hence the battle harassment scene.
Lastly, after all this is over when Inoda logs out of the game Kyoko arrives at her house and they fuck, where Inoda imagines its Asuna instead of her. He hatches the idea of using the mom to “help” Asuna to make her more grateful to him.

As a small addition, I think it would be nice if Kiritos ability could be used not just to concentrate on bosses and also on anything he puts his mind too which will allow him to a certain extent “detect” Inoda/Asuna not see them outright or hear them but maybe see silhouette, or a portion of them which gives him enough reason to assume maybe something is going on in game albeit not enough to accuse just think.

I think this’ll fix a lot of the issues between the main trio since it gives Inoda/Asuna reason to do things again under the pretense of “rewards” for him helping her (also slowly convincing Asuna that she just enjoys him physically) and has now a separate role only for him (person to open up to) which is what slowly sways her heart. Also gives Kirito some natural involvement to get hints and pieces into the story as to what’s going on.

what do y’all think?

 

[kinglionheart]

I thought of a good way I think to appease the community and get the game back on track using all of the info we’ve been given previously. Imagine if the next playable day went as follows

Thursday Morning:
Asuna wakes Kirito up and they decide to go to school together and coincidentally run into Inoda and decide to go to school together.
Shenanigans ensue and Kirito is separated as usual so Inoda takes advantage of situation and feels up Asuna much to her dismay.
Later during the school day, Asuna confronts Inoda telling him basically just because of what happened previously doesn’t mean he can do whatever he wants to her. This makes Inoda actually snap and calls out Asuna and tells her all that she can’t deny the fact that she actually does enjoy (at least on a physical level) all the things they’ve done together. Also says he’s only doing it because he thought it’d help her since previously she looked much happier when they were doing things while recently she looks more stressed than ever (due to mom and kirito things as usual). This slowly starts to convince her and he brings up the idea of Inoda always being there for her at the right time (due to plot and clearly their own scheming) and offers the idea that the previous hj was just basically a “reward” for Inoda for him helping her with her ankle. Inoda could then ask Asuna what’s been bothering her lately and Asuna decides she can probably open up to him about her problems she can’t talk to Kirito about because she needs to maintain an image. She agrees it does help her and she feels grateful, he says he’s glad to help and asks for a reward which she relents to, but he asks for it later.

After school when they log into game, usual shenanigans happen again and the gang all find out about Kiritos new ability and during a battle he has to use it defeat the boss. Inoda takes advantage of the situation and asks for the reward now whilst Kirito is concentrated hence the battle harassment scene.
Lastly, after all this is over when Inoda logs out of the game Kyoko arrives at her house and they fuck, where Inoda imagines its Asuna instead of her. He hatches the idea of using the mom to “help” Asuna to make her more grateful to him.

As a small addition, I think it would be nice if Kiritos ability could be used not just to concentrate on bosses and also on anything he puts his mind too which will allow him to a certain extent “detect” Inoda/Asuna not see them outright or hear them but maybe see silhouette, or a portion of them which gives him enough reason to assume maybe something is going on in game albeit not enough to accuse just think.

I think this’ll fix a lot of the issues between the main trio since it gives Inoda/Asuna reason to do things again under the pretense of “rewards” for him helping her (also slowly convincing Asuna that she just enjoys him physically) and has now a separate role only for him (person to open up to) which is what slowly sways her heart. Also gives Kirito some natural involvement to get hints and pieces into the story as to what’s going on.

what do y’all think?

Everything you say makes sense in the context of the story. It is about time for Kyouko gets involved in Asuna's development and the rewards system would be a good idea to get more favors from Asuna. It is the typical NTR scenario and I can see Fujino doing it. Personally as someone who does not like having a separate silhouette action, the only part I would not like is Kirito sensing silhouetted actions. This is just like the tree battle and we have to wait until the Recollection Room to get the complete version. Too bad there is no guarantee the complete version will be part of the same update as the silhouetted version.

I also hope Asuna will do more favors for Inoda not as a transaction but because all the previous actions have ingrained a desire to please Inoda. Like in Part 1, most of the their interaction was transactional because it was just Asuna paying back Inoda's help. Now we are doing the same things again so what was the point of their interactions in Part 1? If Asuna develops some unconscious desire to please Inoda now, it would mean all those things Inoda did to her in Part 1 had a effect.

Overall your story would make sense and I can see at least some parts of it being true in the next release.

 

[albakr0ss]

Everything you say makes sense in the context of the story. It is about time for Kyouko gets involved in Asuna's development and the rewards system would be a good idea to get more favors from Asuna. It is the typical NTR scenario and I can see Fujino doing it. Personally as someone who does not like having a separate silhouette action, the only part I would not like is Kirito sensing silhouetted actions. This is just like the tree battle and we have to wait until the Recollection Room to get the complete version. Too bad there is no guarantee the complete version will be part of the same update as the silhouetted version.

I also hope Asuna will do more favors for Inoda not as a transaction but because all the previous actions have ingrained a desire to please Inoda. Like in Part 1, most of the their interaction was transactional because it was just Asuna paying back Inoda's help. Now we are doing the same things again so what was the point of their interactions in Part 1? If Asuna develops some unconscious desire to please Inoda now, it would mean all those things Inoda did to her in Part 1 had a effect.

Overall your story would make sense and I can see at least some parts of it being true in the next release.

Yeah I think the idea of her subconsciously wanting to please him also is nice. I think it would be nice if unlike with Kirito who only wants to release and do stuff with Asuna, Inoda ends up doing more things to please her as well (seeing as he finds and treats her like a goddess to him almost.) which makes Asuna think that “at least Inoda wants me to be happy” and keeps forcing the comparison that at Inoda > Kirito at least physically. I’d love it too if later during the story using the idea of rewards it starts to chain stuff together like Inoda helps her out with a personal problem and asks for eating her out as a reward, but because that’s for her benefit as well he asks for a bj, in return. Stuff like that to just blur the line between what’s a reward and what’s just her enjoying him outright.

small possible story idea: Inoda slips the idea of Asuna fake breaking up with Kirito just to appease the mom. So they’ve more of an excuse to mess around if only acting, maybe go on some set up dates set by the Mom (only for it to be Inoda) and they can go back to having all the excuses in the world to do things together.

 

[Rtistik]

The paragraphs have begun.

 

[Entoma01]

Everything you say makes sense in the context of the story. It is about time for Kyouko gets involved in Asuna's development and the rewards system would be a good idea to get more favors from Asuna. It is the typical NTR scenario and I can see Fujino doing it. Personally as someone who does not like having a separate silhouette action, the only part I would not like is Kirito sensing silhouetted actions. This is just like the tree battle and we have to wait until the Recollection Room to get the complete version. Too bad there is no guarantee the complete version will be part of the same update as the silhouetted version.

I also hope Asuna will do more favors for Inoda not as a transaction but because all the previous actions have ingrained a desire to please Inoda. Like in Part 1, most of the their interaction was transactional because it was just Asuna paying back Inoda's help. Now we are doing the same things again so what was the point of their interactions in Part 1? If Asuna develops some unconscious desire to please Inoda now, it would mean all those things Inoda did to her in Part 1 had a effect.

Overall your story would make sense and I can see at least some parts of it being true in the next release.

You should have written to Fujino right after update 0.25, it's too late...

 

[albakr0ss]

The paragraphs have begun.

Just so much potential for this new game. It’s a known universe, with very notable characters, it literally has all the setup and history from the 1st game alone and the slow start has basically laid so much foundation for a good story to be told.

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

Just so much potential for this new game. It’s a known universe, with very notable characters, it literally has all the setup and history from the 1st game alone and the slow start has basically laid so much foundation for a good story to be told.

To be fair, the first bits don't matter much, ever since Part 1 Fujino has changed the Universe in several Canon-breaking ways and had the characters act like parodies of themselves, extra-so in Part 2 when 2 of the most notable ones are straight-up OCs with just the names in common with the original characters. Sure, the game is still way better than 99% of your average SAO NTR Hentai, but I wouldn't count the universe or Canon characters as part of its potential XD

 

[4-kun]

To be fair, the first bits don't matter much, ever since Part 1 Fujino has changed the Universe in several Canon-breaking ways and had the characters act like parodies of themselves, extra-so in Part 2 when 2 of the most notable ones are straight-up OCs with just the names in common with the original characters. Sure, the game is still way better than 99% of your average SAO NTR Hentai, but I wouldn't count the universe or Canon characters as part of its potential XD

agreed

I really don't understand why people consider this to be a good story. Part 1 was as typical of an NTR game as it could possibly be. There was no chemistry between the main characters to begin with. If it weren't for its well-known franchise, nobody would even believe that Kirito and Asuna are a couple. Both main characters are just flat NTR dummies, with the only interesting character being Inoda.

The extreme slowdown in progression and other changes in the world-building and character personalities in Part 2 make things even messier. Nothing makes any sense considering what and how things happened in Part 1.

That's definitely not what I would consider good storytelling

Fujino should've just kept things as they were in Part 1; then it would at least be consistent.
However, I understand that personal development is important, but doing it in the middle of a game is not a good idea.

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

agreed

I really don't understand why people consider this to be a good story. Part 1 was as typical of an NTR game as it could possibly be. There was no chemistry between the main characters to begin with. If it weren't for its well-known franchise, nobody would even believe that Kirito and Asuna are a couple. Both main characters are just flat NTR dummies, with the only interesting character being Inoda.

The extreme slowdown in progression and other changes in the world-building and character personalities in Part 2 make things even messier. Nothing makes any sense considering what and how things happened in Part 1.

That's definitely not what I would consider good storytelling

Fujino should've just kept things as they were in Part 1; then it would at least be consistent.
However, I understand that personal development is important, but doing it in the middle of a game is not a good idea.

Basically, it's because the reason an SAO NTR story would be popular is usually because people hates Kirito/SAO, so most people who does won't care for massive inconsistencies with the characters or universe, they have come for the NTR, and in this case almost exclusively to see Asuna getting stolen from Kirito. The thing is, Fujino's game is still at the very least above most SAO NTR content because it's actually a long story with some level of development while most of the former are 15 pages doujins where the rushed NTR plots feel even more, so despite how much Fujino's story is based around NTR cliches it still feels like a 'better story'. Also, given it's the first time he actually put effort into 'going slow' with the main heroine's corruption it also made it seem superior to his previous games story-wise (Before Part 2 made it so slow people started complaining about it like crazy).

Then again, I probably can't say much as I'm someone here not because I like NTR but because it's a good and animated/long source of SAO Hentai, and, as mentioned, still much better than your average NTR SAO Doujin #999, and mainly for Suguha who almost nobody cares for period compared to the main story of Asuna and Inoda, and I don't even really like NTR XD I DO admire the amount of effort and dedication Fujino put into the game, though, and keeps putting despite his crazy situation, to the point he moved to another country JUST so he could keep making his H-games, guy truly is built different.

 

[LordFrz]

agreed

I really don't understand why people consider this to be a good story. Part 1 was as typical of an NTR game as it could possibly be. There was no chemistry between the main characters to begin with. If it weren't for its well-known franchise, nobody would even believe that Kirito and Asuna are a couple. Both main characters are just flat NTR dummies, with the only interesting character being Inoda.

The extreme slowdown in progression and other changes in the world-building and character personalities in Part 2 make things even messier. Nothing makes any sense considering what and how things happened in Part 1.

That's definitely not what I would consider good storytelling

Fujino should've just kept things as they were in Part 1; then it would at least be consistent.
However, I understand that personal development is important, but doing it in the middle of a game is not a good idea.

If you find no chemestry between the MC and LI it is because this is a parody game and you dont have any investment into the original work, if you're not into the property that the game parodys you probably wont care too much for it. The point of a parody is to have the prebuild relationship and worldbuilding that doesnt need to be rebuilt from scratch.

I dont need every game to redefine NTR, all the NTR games I enjoy are the same shit, that's the point.

I do agree he should have stayed more consistent with part 1. Part 2 has been a bit of a mess after it poped off in popularity and Fujino started doin polls and changes based on angry feedback.

 

[4-kun]

If you find no chemestry between the MC and LI it is because this is a parody game and you dont have any investment into the original work, if you're not into the property that the game parodys you probably wont care too much for it. The point of a parody is to have the prebuild relationship and worldbuilding that doesnt need to be rebuilt from scratch.

I dont need every game to redefine NTR, all the NTR games I enjoy are the same shit, that's the point.

I do agree he should have stayed more consistent with part 1. Part 2 has been a bit of a mess after it poped off in popularity and Fujino started doin polls and changes based on angry feedback.

Just to clarify, I'm not evaluating the NTR tropes, and I understand what a parody is—I'm completely fine with it. What I'm trying to express is that I don't understand why people label it as "good storytelling" because, objectively, it doesn't meet the standards of good storytelling based on actual writing criteria. Just because the majority of stories in other games are even worse doesn't make this one good

Then again, I probably can't say much as I'm someone here not because I like NTR but because it's a good and animated/long source of SAO Hentai, and, as mentioned, still much better than your average NTR SAO Doujin #999, and mainly for Suguha who almost nobody cares for period compared to the main story of Asuna and Inoda, and I don't even really like NTR XD I DO admire the amount of effort and dedication Fujino put into the game, though, and keeps putting despite his crazy situation, to the point he moved to another country JUST so he could keep making his H-games, guy truly is built different.

I agree and am here for similar reasons.

 

[Knight6797]

No matter what happens, I am here for fujinos incredibly good animations and scenarios, that guy manages to make my dick explode within one singular scene I can trust him to make the game worthwhile.

 

[Sieglinnde]

If you find no chemestry between the MC and LI it is because this is a parody game and you dont have any investment into the original work, if you're not into the property that the game parodys you probably wont care too much for it

I guess it depends, I didn't watch the original work but... I also don't care much if there's no "chemistry". I mean, the minimum I would like them to establish is that they are both dating and that NTR happens from there... So at least I have in mind that, in effect, it is NTR because they are both dating... And I feel that the game It does it well, since it also shows us how they interact and share as a couple

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What I'm trying to express is that I don't understand why people label it as "good storytelling" because, objectively, it doesn't meet the standards of good storytelling based on actual writing criteria. Just because the majority of stories in other games are even worse doesn't make this one good

Maybe it's because usually, in games like this, when someone tries to rate that a game objectively doesn't have good writing or things like that it's just to detract merit from the work, you know? Since it's not like we are writers or anything like that

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[LordFrz]

Just to clarify, I'm not evaluating the NTR tropes, and I understand what a parody is—I'm completely fine with it. What I'm trying to express is that I don't understand why people label it as "good storytelling" because, objectively, it doesn't meet the standards of good storytelling based on actual writing criteria. Just because the majority of stories in other games are even worse doesn't make this one good



I agree and am here for similar reasons.

A "good story" is super subjective. You will never get everybody to agree on that, "actual writing criteria".

People see it as good storytelling not because other NTR is dog shit, but because they like this story. Its nothin more than that.

 

[4-kun]

Maybe it's because usually, in games like this, when someone tries to rate that a game objectively doesn't have good writing or things like that it's just to detract merit from the work, you know? Since it's not like we are writers or anything like that

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Once again, I wasn't providing a rating for the game; my arguments were directed at those who claim it has good storytelling.^^

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

Once again, I wasn't providing a rating for the game; my arguments were directed at those who claim it has good storytelling.^^

I will admit, I considered the twist with Suguha in the last update to be 'good' mainly because I like Sugu winning and SAO Reverse NTR (As it feels way more realistic to me than any of the thousands of same-y SAO NTR scenarios ), but also because I felt it massively subverted expectations and it was amazingly original of Fujino to suddenly break the usual NTR cliches while technically still following them (After all is just a win for Sugu and not for Kirito, who regardless of how her story develops towards him or not is still gonna lose Asuna to Inoda).

 

[4-kun]

A "good story" is super subjective. You will never get everybody to agree on that, "actual writing criteria".

People see it as good storytelling not because other NTR is dog shit, but because they like this story. Its nothin more than that.

I agree that the enjoyment of a story is subjective, but there are objective criteria to consider when evaluating storytelling, such as character development, worldbuilding, pacing, originality, and character motivations, etc.; These elements significantly contribute to the overall quality of a narrative, shaping how well the story engages its audience. While personal preferences play a role, these criteria provide a more nuanced assessment, allowing for a broader understanding of what makes storytelling effective.

No offense meant—I did a bit of cinematography in my college days, so I'm a bit biased towards professional criticism

 

[LordFrz]

I agree that the enjoyment of a story is subjective, but there are objective criteria to consider when evaluating storytelling, such as character development, worldbuilding, pacing, originality, and character motivations, etc.; These elements significantly contribute to the overall quality of a narrative, shaping how well the story engages its audience. While personal preferences play a role, these criteria provide a more nuanced assessment, allowing for a broader understanding of what makes storytelling effective.

No offense meant—I did a bit of cinematography in my college days, so I'm a bit biased towards professional criticism

I'm something of a scientist myself.

 

[Sieglinnde]

I will admit, I considered the twist with Suguha in the last update to be 'good' mainly because I like Sugu winning and SAO Reverse NTR (As it feels way more realistic to me than any of the thousands of same-y SAO NTR scenarios ), but also because I felt it massively subverted expectations and it was amazingly original of Fujino to suddenly break the usual NTR cliches while technically still following them (After all is just a win for Sugu and not for Kirito, who regardless of how her story develops towards him or not is still gonna lose Asuna to Inoda).

Honestly, I never followed Suguha's story because I don't enjoy the "Family NTR", and since Suguha is Kirito's sister... I never cared for the scenes that involved her

 

[AlterInfernalAllius]

Honestly, I never followed Suguha's story because I don't enjoy the "Family NTR", and since Suguha is Kirito's sister... I never cared for the scenes that involved her

Yeah, like, the irony is that it's not REALLY NTR for her (Or for any non-Asuna girl in SAO,really), yet is always labeled/painted that way when people does NTR of SAO beyond Asuna when the only REAL NTR of any of the other girls would be if they stole Kirito themselves behind Asuna's back XD I just don't particularly care for NTR, though, plus both Suguha is my favorite SAO character and I happen to like KiriSugu too, while I couldn't care less about Asuna nowadays, so I have been playing since Part 1 for her more than the main story.

That is why the unexpected twist REALLY was to my liking, as I had already accepted she was either gonna end up like Hebishima's pregnant sex pet that he would discard when another new girl he liked came along (Like the previous 98 ones) or, in the 'best' case, get 'picked up' by Inoda if Hebishima was removed from the game, which is why I never really expected Fujino to suddenly have her go borderline Yandere and start fucking Kirito while he was out of it/in the game, it reminded me of my favorite SAO H-doujin and opened up a new possibility of her being the one who ends up getting rid of Hebishima herself in a karmically hilarious twist