Oof, okay, right off the bat the title music is too loud. Especially since it starts right at the loud part instead of building up to anything. I don't feel it's the best fit for the game's tone either (at least for the title theme), but that's a matter of personal opinion.
Come to think of it, there's no straight-up "mute" button at all. Doesn't Ren'py typically have one? I can turn the volume down to zero, but then I'd need to finagle to get the volume back to the previous setting, which is just represented by a bar. You should really bring that bag, especially if the music is going to be this "in your face". It's not the kind of thing you want playing in the background when, say, you've minimized the game to leave notes on this thread.
...Hmm, yeah, in general I'm not a fan of the abrupt back-and-forth of the songs used. Having this big dramatic music playing and then just suddenly stop for something much softer whenever Jevan uses his powers, then start back up when he's done, kind of gives some whiplash. Unfortunately, I'm too tired to articulate exactly what the issue is.
So anyway, that scene with Alicia... That is an example of what consensual mind control can/should be used for. Not that it has to be limited to something so small (consensual full brainwashing is even sexier), but that sort of "enhanced roleplaying" is exactly the sort of safe, fun mind-play that people should keep in mind when they think of mind control as an exclusively "dark" fetish. My only issue with the scene is that it was still mostly focused on the generic sex stuff, with only a brief moment of cute scritches. I'd like to see more of her snuggling up in Jevan's lap, or knocking things off the table to get his attention. Maybe if she was left in that state where another scene was going on, or something.