- Jan 15, 2018
- 94
- 146
I liked Sunday, but I think it needed a little more buildup.
I don't remember the Thomas character being in the vacation from earlier.
What would interest me though, is actually building that up.
She gets on the lifestyles ship, and makes eye contact with him.
MC notices.
She tries to hide it.
etc.
Then build on MC's anxiety.
He walks up, and Thomas is massaging her tits.
etc.
Whispering things in her ear.
I don't remember the Thomas character being in the vacation from earlier.
What would interest me though, is actually building that up.
She gets on the lifestyles ship, and makes eye contact with him.
MC notices.
She tries to hide it.
etc.
Then build on MC's anxiety.
He walks up, and Thomas is massaging her tits.
etc.
Whispering things in her ear.