What you described is not what is going on in this game, it might have started out that way but she went completely off the rails fucking everybody she got around. Its not about her husband and his fetish anymore because over half of the people she fucks she doesn't tell him about, its about her now and she is cheating on ALL paths regardless if you are faithful to her or not, but the game stats still claims she is faithful. She is not.
I understand what you are trying to say but a lot of people here are discussing that it's just the wild west with her as someone said. I'm still on the fence about it even after the reset, believe me I really hope after they get back that everything goes back to the way it started off but I doubt it.
Yes that was me that said that middle part of their relationship is the Wild West. I've talked before about how you have to judge the couple by the standards of the couple, not our own. Having had been in an ethically non-monogomous relationship and a polyamorous relationship (separately) I have to tell you that there is a distinction between those two types of relationships and that it is clear that this couple is practicing neither.
In an ethically non-monogamous relationship, it is agreed to that you can only have sex outside the relationship with your partner's consent. This consent must be explicitly given, not implicitly understood or simply tolerated. And these other relationships are agreed upon to be just for sex. There are also rules in place that you both agree on to ensure that these other sexual partners cannot interfere in any way with personal intimacy or the integrity of the relationship. The rules may be subject to renegotiation, but they can only be altered by mutual consent. None of that "It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" stuff. I've also met ENM couples who insist that what secondary partners do when they are not together is none of their business. This is a point of disagreement for me. While it may serve to reduce potential conflict I personally believe that the partners of these partners, especially married ones, deserve to know what their partners are doing and also must give consent. But the fact is that whatever rules do exist in an ENM relationship are the purview of the couple in question and subject to their desires. This is what the couple is aiming for, but they clearly missed.
Polyamoury is different. More like hippie-style free love. The understanding is that you can love multiple people and therefore the other relationships can be loving relationships in their own right. It is just that one is a primary relationship and another/others is/are secondary relationship(s). But all parties need to buy in for this to work. There cannot be any hard feelings. The other partner cannot have partners who are unaware of what is going on, for example. I don't believe that either member of the couple wants this model. They both express anxiety at the idea that their partner might choose someone else. They certainly wouldn't be comfortable with their spouse loving someone else. There may be a possible path to this, but I imagine that for it to work within their dynamic they would have to be in love with and share the same partner. But that can carry with it a whole new set of problems.
Neither of these models is for everybody, but this couple is practicing a third.
What the couple is practicing is radical sexual freedom. A fully open relationship. The idea that even though they have their own relationship and consider themselves committed to it in practice they are free to act as if they were single unless the other partner directly raises an objection. In other words, if you don't have rules you can't break rules. While you may exercise a veto, that is to be reserved for extraordinary situations. This is the wild west and usually only happens in relationships where one or both of the partners have checked out. Or if they don't know what the fuck they are doing in the first place. If you ever find yourself in one of these relationships you better be prepared to separate your finances and go apartment shopping.
The question as to whether or not Anne is cheating on her husband by having sex with other men and not telling her husband seems to vex a lot of people on this board, but that is because they are unable to separate their own mores and values from the ones that the couple seem to have. There is only one person who can decide if Anne is faithful, and that is MC. There is only one person who can decide if her husband is unfaithful, and that is Anne. None of us, unfortunately. The statistics seem to reflect this. In order for them to be unfaithful within the framework of their relationship, an exercised veto must be willfully disregarded. However, it also seems that if the partner in question does something that they personally find regrettable this also changes the stats. I call this the Jiminy Cricket loophole.
It is also clear that Anne exercises her vetos much more liberally to keep things inside her comfort zone. It smacks of unfairness but is also an indication that she is more invested in the relationship than her husband is. Because let's be honest in our appraisal of his nonchalance. This perception of unfairness is part of what makes her an unlikable character. But it is merited? Frankly, her plea for him to not sleep with the women in his workplace is just good career advice and she would do well to take her own advice. Don't shit where you eat and don't fuck where you earn. As the primary breadwinner, it would be a damn shame if he were to be fired with cause due to an HR complaint. Anne is equally vulnerable in this regard, but neither partner shares a concern for the well-being of her career. I find this short-sighted and a little sexist of them to be honest.
But all that aside, what is curious about the shape of the narrative is that no matter which path you choose; happy or unhappy, faithful or unfaithful, it does eventually lead to the same reckoning. They have to redefine their relationship because radical sexual freedom is not going to work for them. This is why I have said that their relationship is doomed since chapter 8 or so. But just because they are doomed doesn't mean it isn't going to be fun to watch. Will the reset save them and put them on the path to an ethically non-monogamous relationship? No. Not without some guidance, it won't. They are experiencing some growing pains and having some wake-up calls, but their activities the very next day show that they still don't really know what they are doing. It is obvious that their relationship cannot go back to the way it was before. You would have better luck putting toothpaste back in the tube.
