VN Ren'Py The Cabin - Summer Vacation [Ep.5] [CellStudios]

[MrFriendly]

Just released a patch for the game, added in options and MrFriendly helped out with a shit ton of spelling issues

You must be registered to see the links

You will need to start a new game as current saves won't work with part 2 of the game when it comes out.

Happy to help. Hope I didn't miss anything too glaring. Best of luck with it and I look forward to the next update.

 

[CellStudios]

Happy to help. Hope I didn't miss anything too glaring. Best of luck with it and I look forward to the next update.

You did a great job, I'll hit you up when part 2 is ready

 

[bob69696]

You know oddly looking at this so far I'm normally the person that takes the understanding routes but, for the first time I actually don't feel like play as a particularly understanding person. Hell Hazel's little speech at the end feels like encouraging a toxic relationship. "oh no you just don't understand. don't be so hard on her. she has good reasons to hit you. she doesn't really mean it." It's straight up gaslighting in a way I don't actually think I've seen here before.

It's a decent start really. I just hope we aren't railedroaded into accepting it. damaged relationships take repair even after the air is cleared after all.

 

[CellStudios]

You know oddly looking at this so far I'm normally the person that takes the understanding routes but, for the first time I actually don't feel like play as a particularly understanding person. Hell Hazel's little speech at the end feels like encouraging a toxic relationship. "oh no you just don't understand. don't be so hard on her. she has good reasons to hit you. she doesn't really mean it." It's straight up gaslighting in a way I don't actually think I've seen here before.

It's a decent start really. I just hope we aren't railedroaded into accepting it. damaged relationships take repair even after the air is cleared after all.

I guess it depends how you look at it, I never thought of it being viewed as "she has good reasons to hit you", it was more meant as "she has a good reason for drinking". It also won't be a quick "mc/Lisa finds out what her issue is and all is ok", there will be a lot of repair work going on.

Awesome avatar to

 

[MrFriendly]

I guess it depends how you look at it, I never thought of it being viewed as "she has good reasons to hit you", it was more meant as "she has a good reason for drinking". It also won't be a quick "mc/Lisa finds out what her issue is and all is ok", there will be a lot of repair work going on.

Awesome avatar to

Yeah, but if you justify the drinking then you justify the behavior that results from the drinking. So the yelling and hitting are all being justified with the simple "well, you don't know what happened, it's not my story to tell, but she has a valid reason for being a piece of shit that abuses her children". If given a choice I would not touch Grace in any manner, loving or not. She is an abusive drunk with a "reason" for being an abusive drunk.

I know you aren't really comfortable with the programming but it would be nice if the players could avoid Grace. Hope as you get more familiar with the coding that we shall see a bit more choice.

 

[The Daydreamer]

Congrats on releasing your game CellStudios!
This is a solid first release, both on the writing and the rendering side. It's just a tad short to immerse yourself in the story at the moment so I'm hoping to see more soon! ^^ Especially since I'm a sucker for the slasher genre, so your comments on this thread are quite promising.

I'm wondering if Grace already had a clash with the bogeyman in the past. This would explain her trauma and the alcoholism (doesn't justify her behavior though... And it was a bit weird to see Hazel telling the kids to back off when they were the ones being bullied by the mom ). To use some "slasher vocabulary", she could be the "final girl" of a previous massacre but in that case, I don't see why her husband wouldn't believe and support her (Michael Miyers, Jason Voorhees and the likes aren't exactly well known for their discretion ).

If you ever need some inspiration,

You must be registered to see the links

is a good horror flick that shows off in a fun way "slasher tropes".


I encountered a few mistakes during my playthrough:
- Grace should be the one speaking instead of Lisa on the line "You did a fantastic job on the refurb sis".
- Can you use Hazel instead of her role (friend or aunt or whatever ^^) as the speaker of the line "How are you holding up champ?" and the lines after this one? Her role is only used in this scene, it would be more coherent to use her name (and that would prevent any lack of capitalization of the first letter that happens when using the role).
- In the room, those lines appear twice in a row: "I don't really have a preference, take the top if you want." & "Top it is...".



A more general remark: I like having choices in visual novels but the ones implemented in this release are quite frustrating. It feels like some conversations have been segmented and we can only access one bit of it in our playthrough but it doesn't make much sense since it was only small talk for character's development purposes. I mean, I'd like to ask Lisa both about her book and her friend and I don't really understand why limiting the build-up in their relationship.
Usually in adult VN, when it comes to choices, it's about:
- Pushing forward the story. For example, there is some noise at night, you can: "Investigate by yourself", "Wake up Lisa and investigate with her", "Go back to sleep". Depending on your choice, the story could fork or the consequences could be limited to one or two scenes.
- Optimizing immersion. Give the player choice so he can feel comfortable in the MC's shoes. Sometimes, it's only about changing the dialogues' flavor but it can go a long way to make the experience really great for the player (or at least closer to his liking ^^). I didn't try the game before the fix so I wasn't taken aback by the creepy scene but let's imagine another scene where Lisa is playing with their finding in the bottom drawer and the MC stumbles upon the scene: "Quickly leave before being noticed and give her privacy" (nice and proper MC), "Enjoy and record the show for research purposes" (creepy MC), "Make yourself known and tease her for playing with auntie's toy" (shameless and playful MC).
- Scoring brownie points. Obviously, a "points system" isn't needed but it's always nice to have a choice before furthering a relationship with a LI. In this first release, this could have been a choice to turn your head when Grace is kissing you so she ends up kissing your cheek instead of your mouth but maybe this was a mandatory scene cause you wanted to implement some kind of awkward conversation about it the next day.
- Giving options when it comes to kinks. "Can I interest you in a footjob?", "yes" or "no"

When giving choices, it should make more sense when one of them eliminates the others. Else, instead of giving us a voice, it feels like the choice is taken away which defeats the purpose. I haven't tried the game before the fix so I can't compare but I'm wondering if the kinetic version wasn't more appropriate (it's not the end of a world if a first version doesn't have any choices, it's better than feeling that we lose content for no reason ^^).
For example, a real choice would have been a way to react to Grace's outburst when you offer her to drive : "Being confrontational" (like in the game), "Being understanding" (you de-escalate things before everyone loses their shit and Grace stays stubbornly behind the wheel but gave you an apologetic answer), "Silence treatment" (an option where the MC is neither overly nice or aggressive).


Well, that was a long-ass post, I'm sorry! That shows my enthusiasm for this project! I wish the dev the best of luck with his game. I think this will quickly become a game worth supporting as long as you are committed!

 

[Spiderfox]

I guess it depends how you look at it, I never thought of it being viewed as "she has good reasons to hit you", it was more meant as "she has a good reason for drinking". It also won't be a quick "mc/Lisa finds out what her issue is and all is ok", there will be a lot of repair work going on.

Awesome avatar to

The problem is, she doesn't have a good reason for drinking so much that she's turning into an abusive drunk. She may have a reason, and it may be horrible, but she is taking the cowards way to deal with it by trying to numb it and hope it goes away. The whole scene where the 'landlady's sister' tells the kids to go easy on her is completely the wrong way to go. They need to be understanding of her pain, but they also need to find a way to make her realize she needs help and can't just bury herself in a bottle. They can't just sit there and take it. "Oh, it's ok that you beat the crap out of me, I understand you have a reason" is just NO

That scene made me stop playing. Well that scene and the MC suddenly becoming a perv when they get to the cabin.

 

[CellStudios]

Yeah, but if you justify the drinking then you justify the behavior that results from the drinking. So the yelling and hitting are all being justified with the simple "well, you don't know what happened, it's not my story to tell, but she has a valid reason for being a piece of shit that abuses her children". If given a choice I would not touch Grace in any manner, loving or not. She is an abusive drunk with a "reason" for being an abusive drunk.

I know you aren't really comfortable with the programming but it would be nice if the players could avoid Grace. Hope as you get more familiar with the coding that we shall see a bit more choice.

Yeah I'll be sure to make it so all girls are avoidable.

Congrats on releasing your game CellStudios!
This is a solid first release, both on the writing and the rendering side. It's just a tad short to immerse yourself in the story at the moment so I'm hoping to see more soon! ^^ Especially since I'm a sucker for the slasher genre, so your comments on this thread are quite promising.

I'm wondering if Grace already had a clash with the bogeyman in the past. This would explain her trauma and the alcoholism (doesn't justify her behavior though... And it was a bit weird to see Hazel telling the kids to back off when they were the ones being bullied by the mom ). To use some "slasher vocabulary", she could be the "final girl" of a previous massacre but in that case, I don't see why her husband wouldn't believe and support her (Michael Miyers, Jason Voorhees and the likes aren't exactly well known for their discretion ).

If you ever need some inspiration,

You must be registered to see the links

is a good horror flick that shows off in a fun way "slasher tropes".


I encountered a few mistakes during my playthrough:
- Grace should be the one speaking instead of Lisa on the line "You did a fantastic job on the refurb sis".
- Can you use Hazel instead of her role (friend or aunt or whatever ^^) as the speaker of the line "How are you holding up champ?" and the lines after this one? Her role is only used in this scene, it would be more coherent to use her name (and that would prevent any lack of capitalization of the first letter that happens when using the role).
- In the room, those lines appear twice in a row: "I don't really have a preference, take the top if you want." & "Top it is...".



A more general remark: I like having choices in visual novels but the ones implemented in this release are quite frustrating. It feels like some conversations have been segmented and we can only access one bit of it in our playthrough but it doesn't make much sense since it was only small talk for character's development purposes. I mean, I'd like to ask Lisa both about her book and her friend and I don't really understand why limiting the build-up in their relationship.
Usually in adult VN, when it comes to choices, it's about:
- Pushing forward the story. For example, there is some noise at night, you can: "Investigate by yourself", "Wake up Lisa and investigate with her", "Go back to sleep". Depending on your choice, the story could fork or the consequences could be limited to one or two scenes.
- Optimizing immersion. Give the player choice so he can feel comfortable in the MC's shoes. Sometimes, it's only about changing the dialogues' flavor but it can go a long way to make the experience really great for the player (or at least closer to his liking ^^). I didn't try the game before the fix so I wasn't taken aback by the creepy scene but let's imagine another scene where Lisa is playing with their finding in the bottom drawer and the MC stumbles upon the scene: "Quickly leave before being noticed and give her privacy" (nice and proper MC), "Enjoy and record the show for research purposes" (creepy MC), "Make yourself known and tease her for playing with auntie's toy" (shameless and playful MC).
- Scoring brownie points. Obviously, a "points system" isn't needed but it's always nice to have a choice before furthering a relationship with a LI. In this first release, this could have been a choice to turn your head when Grace is kissing you so she ends up kissing your cheek instead of your mouth but maybe this was a mandatory scene cause you wanted to implement some kind of awkward conversation about it the next day.
- Giving options when it comes to kinks. "Can I interest you in a footjob?", "yes" or "no"

When giving choices, it should make more sense when one of them eliminates the others. Else, instead of giving us a voice, it feels like the choice is taken away which defeats the purpose. I haven't tried the game before the fix so I can't compare but I'm wondering if the kinetic version wasn't more appropriate (it's not the end of a world if a first version doesn't have any choices, it's better than feeling that we lose content for no reason ^^).
For example, a real choice would have been a way to react to Grace's outburst when you offer her to drive : "Being confrontational" (like in the game), "Being understanding" (you de-escalate things before everyone loses their shit and Grace stays stubbornly behind the wheel but gave you an apologetic answer), "Silence treatment" (an option where the MC is neither overly nice or aggressive).


Well, that was a long-ass post, I'm sorry! That shows my enthusiasm for this project! I wish the dev the best of luck with his game. I think this will quickly become a game worth supporting as long as you are committed!

Damn that was a long ass message, by the time I got to the bottom I forgot what I'd just read at the top xD

First off, thanks for the congratulations, really means a lot

I'm gonna try to dissect this as I go and give you a thorough an answer as possible.

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I'm surprised by that, I'm not really a strong writer, English is my native language but I still suck at it

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After reading some of the feedback so far I'm wondering if Graces back story and reason for drinking is going to be enough. The part with Hazel telling MC to back off it was more of a "try not to antagonise her.", even though Grace is at fault, in her own head and from Hazel's point of view, it isn't her fault, granted, there is no reason that could explain her slapping MC, but from her perspective, she had this terrible shit thing happen to her and her own husband doesn't believe her, that's gonna make her feel shit about her self and others around her. She initially wanted to tell Mc and Lisa from day 1, but having her own husband call her a liar put doubt in her mind and she thinks nobody would believe her and she thinks only Hazel does.

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Looks interesting, I'll have a look into it I've actually been watching a lot more slasher films recently to get some good ideas and so far it seems the big blockbuster movies are the worst for it, it's all recycled shite, where as lesser known b-movies have way better plots and unique stories.

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Appreciate those, will get them fixed asap

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This reply is for that whole section. I wasn't originally going to have choices, it was going to be a set story but people seemed to prefer choices ( I personally don't mind just following a story ). To that end, I set out to figure out how to do options and stuff in renpy ( I'm a total noob when it comes to coding ) and figured out how to do them and popped them in the patch. However, upon releasing the patch I figured out how to make it so you can pick multiple options in a menu, so you can ask them multiple things, I'm just not sure if I should release another patch or just wait for Part 2

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That was a long-ass post

 

[CellStudios]

The problem is, she doesn't have a good reason for drinking so much that she's turning into an abusive drunk. She may have a reason, and it may be horrible, but she is taking the cowards way to deal with it by trying to numb it and hope it goes away. The whole scene where the 'landlady's sister' tells the kids to go easy on her is completely the wrong way to go. They need to be understanding of her pain, but they also need to find a way to make her realize she needs help and can't just bury herself in a bottle. They can't just sit there and take it. "Oh, it's ok that you beat the crap out of me, I understand you have a reason" is just NO

That scene made me stop playing. Well that scene and the MC suddenly becoming a perv when they get to the cabin.

You can't just look at it as being "she drinks, she's abusive and a terrible mother", the way it plays out is:

Something terrible happened to her, she turned to her husband for support, he basically gave her the cold shoulder calling her a liar and so she started drinking.

"They need to be understanding of her pain" They can't be understand of her pain because they don't know she's going through anything, as far as they know she started drinking and became abusive, she wasn't always like that and it's that sudden change that makes Mc so angry towards her.

I have since removed the Mc becoming a perv in a recent patch, only reason that happened was because I had to cut the episodes down and I tried to make it more lewd which didn't work all that well.

 

[Spiderfox]

You can't just look at it as being "she drinks, she's abusive and a terrible mother", the way it plays out is:

Something terrible happened to her, she turned to her husband for support, he basically gave her the cold shoulder calling her a liar and so she started drinking.

"They need to be understanding of her pain" They can't be understand of her pain because they don't know she's going through anything, as far as they know she started drinking and became abusive, she wasn't always like that and it's that sudden change that makes Mc so angry towards her.

I have since removed the Mc becoming a perv in a recent patch, only reason that happened was because I had to cut the episodes down and I tried to make it more lewd which didn't work all that well.

Ah, but you can be understanding of someone being in pain without understanding or knowing the cause. You just be as supportive as they will allow you to be. The problem is they did not know she was in pain, now that they do they can be supportive and try to help her. That does not mean they should put up with abuse.

Thanks for the response and with the pervy stuff removed, I'll keep watching and see where you take the story because I do like most of what you've done and the premise is interesting to me. Keep up the good work and don't let the assholes here (me, not directed at anybody else) discourage you from telling your story.

 

[CellStudios]

Ah, but you can be understanding of someone being in pain without understanding or knowing the cause. You just be as supportive as they will allow you to be. The problem is they did not know she was in pain, now that they do they can be supportive and try to help her. That does not mean they should put up with abuse.

Thanks for the response and with the pervy stuff removed, I'll keep watching and see where you take the story because I do like most of what you've done and the premise is interesting to me. Keep up the good work and don't let the assholes here (me, not directed at anybody else) discourage you from telling your story.

Cheers, I also didn't think you was an asshole good or bad feedback is always welcome and comments like yours help me look at the game from a different perspective and see what others think of certain situations and how they should have been handled.

I think it's safe to say that writing isn't my strong suit so I'm going to look into taking on a writer, someone that can hopefully stop me from making mistakes like this

 

[The Daydreamer]

First off, thanks for the congratulations, really means a lot

You're welcome

I'm surprised by that, I'm not really a strong writer, English is my native language but I still suck at it

Well, I don't know how much credit MrFriendly deserves (thanks, by the way ^^) since I have only played the fixed version but you could have fooled me for a native speaker (then again, I'm French myself so... ). But besides the quality of the language, I liked the "rhythm" in both the dialogues and the storytelling. They kept me invested in the story and the characters and felt real enough.

I've actually been watching a lot more slasher films recently to get some good ideas and so far it seems the big blockbuster movies are the worst for it, it's all recycled shite, where as lesser known b-movies have way better plots and unique stories.

I'm always happy to discover new slashers so feel free to share any great discoveries

After reading some of the feedback so far I'm wondering if Graces back story and reason for drinking is going to be enough.

Some trauma from learning "no harem" in WTHI maybe?

The part with Hazel telling MC to back off it was more of a "try not to antagonise her."

I understand where you are coming from but the way Hazel interacts with the kids felt a bit off:

Listen, we need to talk about Grace
You need to lay off her and stop being so hard on her all the time.

Talk about kicking a man when he's down Grace bullies Lisa and slaps the MC then the aunt comes to see them and asks them to back off. I can understand playing the Devil's advocate but this is a bit much (feels like she's blaming the victims ^^). The scene would have been more compelling (to me) if she acted like a lovable auntie by asking them if they were okay and saying she wasn't aware how bad it had gotten and then pleading so they would not give up on their mother because she needs them more than ever... Or something along those lines where she would reveal that something traumatic had happened to their mom without going into the details.

However, upon releasing the patch I figured out how to make it so you can pick multiple options in a menu, so you can ask them multiple things

This is great news! My post was already pretty long so I didn't go into the details but it felt like the three choices until now were actually multiple choices with a missing option "moving on" (or something) like we see sometimes in VN. This way, those who aren't interesting in small talk can advance the story and the others can enjoy the build-up... ^^

 

[MrFriendly]

You're welcome


Well, I don't know how much credit MrFriendly deserves (thanks, by the way ^^) since I have only played the fixed version but you could have fooled me for a native speaker (then again, I'm French myself so... ). But besides the quality of the language, I liked the "rhythm" in both the dialogues and the storytelling. They kept me invested in the story and the characters and felt real enough.

Zero credit, it's all CellStudios, I just fixed some capitalization and spelling errors. The content is all theirs

I'm always happy to discover new slashers so feel free to share any great discoveries

The original Friday the 13th was actually a decent movie, I am not a huge fan of slasher movies since they all required stupidity from the characters...

I understand where you are coming from but the way Hazel interacts with the kids felt a bit off:

Talk about kicking a man when he's down Grace bullies Lisa and slaps the MC then the aunt comes to see them and asks them to back off. I can understand playing the Devil's advocate but this is a bit much (feels like she's blaming the victims ^^). The scene would have been more compelling (to me) if she acted like a lovable auntie by asking them if they were okay and saying she wasn't aware how bad it had gotten and then pleading so they would not give up on their mother because she needs them more than ever... Or something along those lines where she would reveal that something traumatic had happened to their mom without going into the details.

Right? As of now Grace is abusive and Hazel is an enabler. If the slasher takes Grace first the audience might cheer

This is great news! My post was already pretty long so I didn't go into the details but it felt like the three choices until now were actually multiple choices with a missing option "moving on" (or something) like we see sometimes in VN. This way, those who aren't interesting in small talk can advance the story and the others can enjoy the build-up... ^^

I'm looking forward to seeing how this game grows even though I am not a horror/slasher movie fan. Need to see how the choices grow as we continue.

 

[The Daydreamer]

If the slasher takes Grace first the audience might cheer

That's dark! You're a big meanie despite your pseudonym! You can keep things platonic with her, no need to kill her off right off the bat! xD

She's the kids' mother so I'm looking forward for her redeeming ark. She's aware that she's being a shitty mother at the moment and I'm sure she'll take our hand if we are willing to help.


Hazel, the enabler (good nickname by the way ), on the other hand has a terrible moral compass by default so I'm way more skeptical about her at the moment.

I am not a huge fan of slasher movies since they all required stupidity from the characters...

I can already see the group splitting up when they are going to visit the bunker in the forest :') The boogeyman can't run so we have to help him out a little after all

 

[MrFriendly]

That's dark! You're a big meanie despite your pseudonym! You can keep things platonic, no need to kill her off right off the bat! xD

She's the kids' mother so I'm looking forward for her redeeming ark. She's aware that she's being a shitty mother at the moment and I'm sure she'll take our hand if we are willing to help.

Yeah... My pseudonym is more, um, "ironic" than anything else. I'm really a grade A asshole, just not 100% a dick.

And abusers should always go first, doesn't matter the relationship.

Hazel, the enabler (good nickname by the way ), on the other hand has a terrible moral compass by default so I'm way more skeptical about her at the moment.


I can already see the group splitting up when they are going to visit the bunker in the forest :') The boogeyman can't run so we have to help him out a little after all

If Cellstudios follows the tropes the kids will be safe until they are no longer virgins. LOL, which means the mom and aunt are already in trouble.

 

[The Daydreamer]

Yeah... My pseudonym is more, um, "ironic" than anything else.

Well, if the dev hasn't found a name for his boogeyman, Mister Friendly is kinda catchy and the irony won't be lost either!

If Cellstudios follows the tropes the kids will be safe until they are no longer virgins.

True (well, at least for Lisa, never heard of a final boy in a slasher before By the way, another parodic slasher about this theme:

You must be registered to see the links

). That's why I thought Grace was maybe the sole survivor of a previous attack (before she met her husband, like Jamie Lee Curtis in the Halloween saga ) but the dev already stated that the ordeal happened "recently".

Having a relationship in this game is gonna be a challenge if sleeping with a girl becomes her death sentence! :') The only way to have a happy ending: keeping it in our pants!

 

[MrFriendly]

Well, if the dev hasn't found a name for his boogeyman, Mister Friendly is kinda catchy and the irony won't be lost either!

That would be hilariously awesome, not saying that CellStudios should do it. Especially since that would make it an unintentional crossover with Intertwined (I am an angry video game opponent that the MC plays against in one route). But I wouldn't Mind being the slasher in an adult VN. I mean why not have art imitate life?

True (well, at least for Lisa, never heard of a final boy in a slasher before By the way, another parodic slasher about this theme:

You must be registered to see the links

). That's why I thought Grace was maybe the sole survivor of a previous attack (before she met her husband, like Jamie Lee Curtis in the Halloween saga ) but the dev already stated that the ordeal happened "recently".

Having a relationship in this game is gonna be a challenge if sleeping with a girl becomes her death sentence! :') The only way to have a happy ending: keeping it in our pants!

If the MC wasn't male or the only male it would be amusing to subvert the tropes and have the male characters be the ones who die once they've lost their virginity.

And I guess the MC just can't go all the way... Hmm, does anal count? In those movies is it any sexual contact or just vaginal sex?

 

[The Daydreamer]

That would be hilariously awesome

So Mister Friendly, what kind of mask would you wear and what would be your bladed weapon of choice?

Hmm, does anal count? In those movies is it any sexual contact or just vaginal sex?

I think the boogeyman is more interested by the fact that the final girl is an ingenue... I don't think he cares for the technical side of things so "anal sex" would definitely put a target on her back!

If the MC wasn't male or the only male it would be amusing to subvert the tropes and have the male characters be the ones who die once they've lost their virginity.

We could also have a boogeywoman hunting down a virgin boy, that would be new and could be a fun plot for a movie. But I don't want to see that shit in an adult VN, if the MC is the boy that keeps his virginity, he would probably get cucked left and right until the end!

 

[clowns234]

I like it so far.
I assume the drinking problem relates to some bad encounter of a sexual nature. Maybe scatter some murky dreamlike flashback renders (one or two here and there) - just to feed those who need that right away?

 

[CellStudios]

I like it so far.
I assume the drinking problem relates to some bad encounter of a sexual nature. Maybe scatter some murky dreamlike flashback renders (one or two here and there) - just to feed those who need that right away?

I'm afraid it's gonna be a while before we fine out, I had the big reveal in episode 2 but now that the episodes have been cut we're talking like 6 parts away, which thinking about it might be a little far, might bring it a little closer.