Appreciate the perspective and good natured discussion.Yes, The Fundraiser should have happened latter in the chapter, with more of the girls having personally advanced, and this is a little jarring Boblet. Eventually the chapter will be completed, and I expect more conditions will need to be met to start The Fundraiser.
That said, only Maxine was committed to pushing boundaries solely for the pseudo-phallus, every other participant had other reasons, solidarity friendship and loyalty being common. Other reasons include shamelessness (Amy already posed for a magazine) and self interest (Debbie wanted to oil other girls). Maxine pushed boundaries as guided by the Headmaster, while he also manipulated Ada. Maxine opened the door and others entered. The group created a feed back loop of support and emboldenment. Looping in all the other girls was a essential for this Boblet. It should also be noted that it was not the same ten volunteers each time, and two girls were forced (Arabella simulated and Ada nude).
As to see-through in the lunchroom making zero-sense, be careful not to look for holes in porn logic. Let look for some (non-zero) sense to help you until the chapter is finished and the flow is fix. Aside from the timing being off, being forced to do something feels different to volunteering to do something, especially if the volunteering is both rewarded, and excused by a 'good cause'. Strength in numbers could also be a factor, eleven girls distribute attention more than just two. Lastly not all girls volunteered for all days, but all girls will have lunch duty.
As an aside, I wouldn't have gone with the disposable lunchroom outfits chosen. Too much exposed skin for a hygienic kitchen, full body latex would have been better![]()
Putting on my writer's hat, if I were for a moment to be so bold as to pretend I were in Dev's shoes, here's what I might do as an alternative:
For the now make Pride and President a seperate download story, like a Halloween Event people can DL if they want. Perhaps recognizing it doesn't quite work as is, narrow/edit it down offline to be more about the two characters Ada and Maxine. Reinsert whenever satisfied. Flow problem solved. Overexposure problem solved.
Just my thoughts and worth every penny you paid for them LOL!