Ren'Py The Manor [v0.5.0] [0ptimus]

[Erik1986]

Ive seen the models used before, like in "the writers visit" i think, but that is actually a good thing. It looks different then the 1001 Daz3d and Illusion using games, so art style wise you got my attention.

Good luck, and as said above, don't let the trolls and haters get you to lose interest in your first game. Most of us do understand that with time you can only improve.

 

[tsunku]

what kind of incest will there be in this game: brother and sister, mother and child?

yes..... but who is alita? and is she hidden in the unfinished basement? and why? and, what about naomi? << not in the game, i just wonder how many will get this reference haha


oh yes since english isn't your native language, just a hint, use say instead of tell. ex: you tell me that now? would be correct.... you tell to me that? incorrect, you say to me. correct.

 

[0ptimus]

yes..... but who is alita? and is she hidden in the unfinished basement? and why? and, what about naomi? << not in the game, i just wonder how many will get this reference haha


oh yes since english isn't your native language, just a hint, use say instead of tell. ex: you tell me that now? would be correct.... you tell to me that? incorrect, you say to me. correct.

Alita? Don't know...maybe... we'll see .
Thanks for the tip!

 

[YaYa_UnTIN2]

Graphics are, gameplay is, well...

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Dev, good luck with your game.

 

[tsunku]

Alita sounds to me to be an imaginary friend or perhaps an alter ego for Olivia.
Your Naomi reference just weeds out the youngsters among us. Carol Burnett's "As the Stomach Turns" skits came to mind immediately. Hmmm... I wonder how well a RomCom game with the same name would go over.

Definitely needs a proof reader and the use of an English spell checker, though. Still understandable, but some lines are hard to read (it does kind of break immersion when you read a line and Yoda's voice pops into your head).

Graphics, except for that first screen (vehicles look like some kind of cross from the Jetsons cartoons and Mad Max, and the incomplete whatever-that-is in the street in front of the house), are... passable. The character designs do kind of grow on you the longer you play.
My only real complaint is the MC's hair. It looks like he's wearing a wig over a knappy skull cap.

Some small inconsistencies in the story line as well.
It's a 7 hour trip to arrive at the manor, but his mother is waiting at the FBI office immediately after the arrest when it would have been immediate, spur of the moment event.
When he leaves with his mother, they immediately hit the road. Maybe add a single scene or dialogue where the FBI agent has him pack a bag before they leave for the office. Otherwise, he arrives with no luggage and no clothes except what he was wearing at the time.
She already has a room remodeled for him even though she would have had no prior knowledge of him being found.
The MC is using a name that apparently wasn't his given name, but Iris knows his name when they first meet.
Edit: even though they are said to rarely leave the manor, yet Angela has tats?

Overall, not a bad first release and the amount of content is more than a lot of games reach months after their initial release - if ever. The only "bug" I saw was the Rebecca event I'd mentioned on the prior page.

haha yea that was funny but not where the reference comes from, it's from the electric company's 'love of chair' skit naomi was the director or someone involved with making the show.

You must be registered to see the links

also you can youtube the clips of it haha it was so ridiculous it was funny back then.

also i miss johnny carson's 'edge of wetness' skit

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

Some small inconsistencies in the storyline as well.
It's a 7 hour trip to arrive at the manor, but his mother is waiting at the FBI office immediately after the arrest when it would have been an immediate, spur of the moment event.

Man, is this site turning into Geritol hour? and a one and a two...

It's good to see us boomers interested in this modern genre.

I see this issue in many foreign made games. the cultural differences hinder the storytelling and also the less experienced storyteller. There can be all sorts of reasoning about the timeline inconsistency. In the AVN world, over-explaining bogs down the story. (I've been accused of being an over-explainer, but let me explain why that is an unfair statement.)

For example, the time between Joseph killing the MC's dad and where the story starts could have been weeks or months. just saying. The reason this all happens is my head scratcher. Joseph going to get money from the people he's been avoiding for 17 years. But I shouldn't get bogged down in those things.

I think the game has promise, including AI is cool IMO. Right now, we are experiencing the evaluation of a different medium for storytelling. We are in the midst of change.

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

DeUglyOne

Those are good points you make. Except for the Lawrence Wel crack, I'll let it go this time, but....
I had a connection to LW. His guitar player live next door to us for a while, and I was star struck.
He was an odd older gentleman of German heritage, very regimented, and had a funny mustache.


Yeah, it's an inexperienced writer thing. Also, they do not put much thought into less important dialogue.

I took a shot at the killing of his "real father."
am.c "Your real father and mother never stopped searching you. Last month, Joseph made a mistake. He contacted your real father and tried to extort money from him."
am.c "He agreed, and Joseph said to meet at a certain place. When they met, Joseph was injured by your "father" badly and took the money, but before he died, Joseph wrote down the name of his killer.

That keeps a similar line of dialogue but sounds more believable.

A Russin DEV wants me to team up on his first game. It's a dark story and very entwined.
I tried to tell him to keep it simple for the first game but is going ahead with it.
I turned him down. I know where that ship is sailing or more like sinking.

 

[Cryptist]

I commend you for pretty good graphics and animations in your first game. The play is simple enough not too grindy.

I have played for several hours, and have 1 lust on Olivia and Alyssa, but don't seem to be making much progress on the others. Should I just keep doing the same actions? How far can we take the lust points, and is it a matter of repeating actions to accumulate some kind of count?

I think you are doing well with the game. Don't let the trolls wear you down.

 

[mdmnsjs1]

how do you get thelast scene with rebecca in the living room (shes always with olivia)? ive gone through a month with nothing new can someone help? thanks

 

[0ptimus]

I commend you for pretty good graphics and animations in your first game. The play is simple enough not too grindy.

I have played for several hours, and have 1 lust on Olivia and Alyssa, but don't seem to be making much progress on the others. Should I just keep doing the same actions? How far can we take the lust points, and is it a matter of repeating actions to accumulate some kind of count?

I think you are doing well with the game. Don't let the trolls wear you down.

Hello and thank you for your support!
Lust points basically unlock new dialogue/scene when you pay a visit to the girl at night.
There is currently just 1 for Alyssa and Olivia.

 

[0ptimus]

how do you get thelast scene with rebecca in the living room (shes always with olivia)? ive gone through a month with nothing new can someone help? thanks

It seems this one must be corrected, at night you have to go in the living room instead of her room to trigger it.
I will fix it in the next update.

 

[Deyn21]

Love the art style. Good luck dev.

 

[0ptimus]

That's all I'd been able to get as well. Once I got their affection and love points maxed, they just had a default action wherever I found them on the map. I think we'll need to wait for the next chapter before we can get more or be able to get the advantage of having them. I did a quick thumb through of the code and didn't see any lust variables being used as a qualifier yet.

==========================
0ptimus
As I was thumbing through the code, I noticed a major error on your part.

Each paper doll/overlay is being loaded with "show" with no matching "hide" following.

label using_show_hide:
    scene bg1
    show pd1
    mc "blah, blah, blah"
    hide pd1
    show pd2
    npc "blah, blah, blah"
    hide pd2
    scene bg2

Not using "hide" will leave every paper doll/overlay picture loaded in memory. Depending on each user's system memory, this can cause slowdowns or even crashing as the memory is filled.

Thanks for the advice, as I learn new things everyday, I know I should make some polish in the code.

 

[mdmnsjs1]

It seems this one must be corrected, at night you have to go in the living room instead of her room to trigger it.
I will fix it in the next update.

thanks

 

[Benn Swagger]

Ah this is first release/pirated version ... I ain't touch raw meat. Back in 2 years after it's cooked well. Enjoy bois.

 

[THE KILLER 13]

taking into account that this is the dev's first project so far he did well, now it's waiting for the next update, I just hope he doesn't abandon the project like many do

 

[Zoffifee]

Thanks for the advice, as I learn new things everyday, I know I should make some polish in the code.

The code is bad.
If you want to generate a translation with RenPy, many script files are not processed.
So, unfortunately, it is not possible to translate the game into other languages.

 

[Punto]

We need a wt or betzter wt-mod!!

 

[0ptimus]

Since it is the main criticism, I am currently redesigning the visuals of the introduction. As the first impression is often important, I'm making it a priority, while of course not neglecting Chapter 2, which is still being written. Thank you for your support, here are a few snapshots.

 

[incest lover m/s]

Since it is the main criticism, I am currently redesigning the visuals of the introduction. As the first impression is often important, I'm making it a priority, while of course not neglecting Chapter 2, which is still being written. Thank you for your support, here are a few snapshots.
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some criticisms (if they are constructive) help us to improve ... you are on the right path