I guess I'm the only one who thinks the game is paced way too damned fast. The prologue was sad with the daughters death, but it's nothing I'd actually cry over.
Two Things:
1. In the prologue the entire Ella shit is rushed and was completely unrealistic. The whole calling cops, MC forced to cancel date, you owe me, etc shit should be completely re-written in my opinion.
It would've made more since for the MC to fully express his doubts (In thoughts) a little more than he did about going on the date with preppy girl, and when Ella crashes into him HE offers to accompany her ("Secretly" sending a cancel date text). Then you'd have to rewrite it around the MC being the initiator, but it wouldn't seem nearly as forced and sudden. You could build up the emotional tension with Ella not having friends and being an orphan better that way too, that way the scene with her crying and running off at the end hits a little more harder.
Then a little 10 image collage to show some important moments together leading up to the scene where they're over the baby carrier, maybe having that collage in a photo frame somewhere.
Overall, these changes would give a sense of realism to the prologue. As it currently stands, it just feels one-dimensional and hard to believe.
2. The LI's are very disrespectful. Lisa says the MC is dressed like a bum when that's the sort of people she's volunteering to help. That's just an insane thing to say to someone asking a simple question, especially with the volunteer aspect. Just makes her look like a snobby bitch.
The nurse calls the MC an idiot under the assumption he threw trash on the pavement, but when she found out it wasn't him there was no apology, which is crazy to me. The dialogue would've, in my opinion, been better if she said something like, "Sorry for calling you an idiot earlier, I'll tell you about my secret running spot to make up for it" you know what I mean? Obviously that could be written better into dialogue, but it makes her seem more personable.
Hailey for obvious reasons, even if it was a random person you could've been nicer/more professional about the way you escorted him out.
I will say though, Benjamin is the best looking black character I've ever seen in a VN before, big ups to that
