VN Ren'Py The President's Daughter [Ep.1] [Melissa Doll]

[mom_liker]

constructive or meaningful dialogue.

girls love shes daddys. you dont know nothing about girls.

 

[MelissaDoll]

For me, these dominant/submissive relationships are portrayed in a completely inappropriate manner. It's just mindless violence and nothing more. It's not clear why the father hates his daughter so much; it all boils down to the fact that he's just crazy. The author's excuse that this isn't a "slow burn" story doesn't work here; he simply doesn't have enough talent to write a story, and that's the problem. The whipping scene between two girls of the same age looks ridiculous and lazy. The blowjob is just as cheap scene between side characters without any build-up.
For some reason, the author of this work believes that if you are the president of the United States, you can do anything you want and remain unpunished, although in reality the opposite is true: all actions of the US president are under close scrutiny, and he cannot afford to do anything like what is shown in the game. The Epstein case, which the author mentions to justify his story, seems to me completely irrelevant here. The setting of the game is wrong, and this story doesn't seem even 1% plausible.

Wow, some people really have time to waste writing self-important nonsense.

First of all, I never mentioned Epstein to justify anything — and I don’t need to. It’s my story, and I’ll write it however I want.
This is a dystopian porn game, not a political documentary or a literary contest. I never claimed to be aiming for a Pulitzer. Like many devs here, I’m an amateur writer — so what? If you're expecting deep psychological arcs and flawless realism, maybe try a bookstore instead of hanging around adult game forums.

The story isn’t meant to be “plausible” by your standards. It’s meant to be provocative, intense, and yes — extreme. That’s the whole point. If that’s not your thing, that’s perfectly fine. But calling it “lazy” or “talentless” just because it doesn't align with your personal taste says more about your own expectations than about the work itself.

 

[Undead145]

Are there any games similar to this where the female protagonist can be dominant or submissive depending on your choices?

 

[Badboll]

The story isn’t meant to be “plausible” by your standards. It’s meant to be provocative, intense, and yes — extreme. That’s the whole point. If that’s not your thing, that’s perfectly fine. But calling it “lazy” or “talentless” just because it doesn't align with your personal taste says more about your own expectations than about the work itself.

You are going to have a hard time with Patreon btw and steam will most likely never accept it. They don't like the forceful stuff, only 1 report away from removal. While I agree with most of what that guy said, You are right too.
I'm not really a fan of extreme just for the sake of being extreme, you definitely currently miss the mark of anything else.
I'm still interested in whatever it is you are cooking up here, mainly because it makes no sense.

 

[L7Bear]

Enjoying what I've played so far, but taking a pause (i.e. not finished the release yet) to make a few (important?) notes about the beginning.

• We see the entirety of the private meeting between the maid and the President, yet later she claims he ordered his daughter to be treated like a maid, when what he really said was for the maid to tame his daughter.
  • Yet the "Master" (i.e. butler) seems to already know and go along with the maid's ... lie?
  • This is an error which can be corrected in several ways.
    • The easiest would be to have the President simply demand that his daughter be treated as a servant/maid and that her status should be treated as subservient to everyone including *her* maid.
    • The more interesting path I'll mention in a spoiler below.
• Chapter I is called "The New Maid" when it rapidly becomes obvious that they are not the new maid and that they've been lying to the President for most of a week (or a week, or more than a week) to protect the President's daughter.
  • Two options occur to me to solve this:
    • Option One is that the chapter name is renamed. Perhaps it is meant to refer to the President's daughter as "The New Maid", but there are lots of problems with that for average players/readers/etc. Perhaps call it "Sudden Demotion" or "The Princess becomes a Pauper" or anything else that seems appropriate to the situation.
    • Option Two would have the maid (after her barely passable blowjob) fired entirely. Then bring in a new character as the new maid who is expected to tame the President's daughter, etc.
      • note: I would use the existing maid (who is beautifully designed!) as the *replacement* new maid - and have her standing to the side and watching the previous maid's humiliation. I would recommend creating a different maid (blonde or redhead) for the one that is loyal to the President's daughter and summarily used and discarded.
• The President orders his daughter to strip out of her clothes, yet currently she keeps her tighty-whitey grandma panties. There are a few issues with this:
  • She's not wearing a bra. Perhaps she's underdeveloped enough not to need one, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I've had female friends who (briefly) chose to go bra-less, yet they quickly learned the horrors of speed bumps (i.e. if you're even modestly endowed, and are in a car that drives over a speed bump, it feels like your tits are going to rip off.)
    • Maybe this is just a temporary thing because she's indoors-only and not planning on going outside.
  • He ordered her to strip, which means buck-fucking-naked. If she's going to keep her panties, he should specify that.
    • "You can keep your underwear... oh, well, I guess that just means your grandma panties."
  • There are a number of ways to fix this, but the one I would recommend if I were part of the dev team would be to give the player a choice.
    • When the maid says the President's daughter should change, the player should get a choice to either go "as is" or to "dress properly"
      • If they go "as is" they get the content as is (with the exception of the President specifying she may keep her panties)
      • If they "dress properly" then... well, you decide. Either give him a different reason to strip her down to her panties, or let her go to the next scene with her more formal and more appropriate attire.
        • It doesn't really matter what she's wearing - a small change to the dialogue - the maid will order the President's daughter to follow her, strip, and wear the maid's uniform either way.
        • If you want, the guy in the hall who removes the furniture can also take the president's daughter's dress at that time. Actually... that's kinda hot. Give the player a choice to do so willingly (+submissive) or force him to strip her of her formal dress and leave her in just her underwear.

Which I believe brings us to the suggestion I want to tuck behind a spoiler tag here:

Spoiler: How the President's Daughter becomes a Maid

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Typo:

should be: "Look at it. Have you ever seen something like this?"

Visual Adjustment: Research how to do throat bulges when a character has a dick or dildo larger/longer than their mouth.


Additional note: This might be covered by the portion of the game I haven't seen, but the Player should have the option to run away... or to attempt to run away, at least. If they try, well... it won't affect much on the surface, but really fuck things up behind the scenes as the code should punish them A LOT for the attempt. Just my opinion. You do you.
Maybe it could be an early "Good" ending instead. I've seen several games that gave the player the opportunity for a rather quick *good* ending (that most of us would avoid... or maybe try, smile at the happy ending, then reload the previous save and make a different choice... 'cause we're mostly horrible perverts here.)

 

[TonyMurray]

Wow, some people really have time to waste writing self-important nonsense.

First of all, I never mentioned Epstein to justify anything — and I don’t need to. It’s my story, and I’ll write it however I want.
This is a dystopian porn game, not a political documentary or a literary contest. I never claimed to be aiming for a Pulitzer. Like many devs here, I’m an amateur writer — so what? If you're expecting deep psychological arcs and flawless realism, maybe try a bookstore instead of hanging around adult game forums.

The story isn’t meant to be “plausible” by your standards. It’s meant to be provocative, intense, and yes — extreme. That’s the whole point. If that’s not your thing, that’s perfectly fine. But calling it “lazy” or “talentless” just because it doesn't align with your personal taste says more about your own expectations than about the work itself.

To be fair, I've played his game (Blacked Tiffany), so I have a hard time taking what he says here about writing and believability seriously.

 

[SoSiHi]

Supporting on patreon (Y) Love the game! (Y)

 

[Badboll]

Can we have ntr?

It's a female protag game where the female protag gets abused by everyone, NTR isn't going to happen, unless it's stated that she has a boyfriend that's going to be watching her get sexual things done to her, but given who her father is, I doubt she was ever allowed such things.

 

[TonyMurray]

It's a female protag game where the female protag gets abused by everyone, NTR isn't going to happen, unless it's stated that she has a boyfriend that's going to be watching her get sexual things done to her, but given who her father is, I doubt she was ever allowed such things.

Not an argument for NTR, but in terms of the other point, unless she can get out of it, she's about to have a husband...

 

[MelissaDoll]

I like the look of the main character, and I love stories about submission/domination. That's why I bought your game as soon as it came out. And I'm writing about my disappointment with what I got. If you position a game in a specific setting, it must adhere to the rules of that setting, rather than simply doing whatever you desire. That's my opinion, which I tried to justify. You don't agree? Well, okay.

Yup. We agree to disagree.

 

[Wish_Master]

Are there any games similar to this where the female protagonist can be dominant or submissive depending on your choices?

https://f95zone.to/threads/jezebel-ep-1-v1-03-mr-pengo.256463/

 

[KsChN68]

Android pleas?

Android port from

You must be registered to see the links

 

[Jack'son]

Eh...

You said there are two paths. Dom or Sub. Yet if we pick the dom choices, we lose all our dom points and gain a bunch of sub points and get the perk "submitted". We are forced into being a sub.

So yeah, not for me. Hate being railroaded down a path, regardless of my choices.

If you choose all dominant, you get beaten. Choose one submissive to avoid this.

 

[Knight_of_the_lance]

Just for the record, it’s not ‘Sleepy Joe’ and was never intended to be. I created his face by blending features from multiple characters (at least three) to look like a generic old president-type guy.
It’s mainly the hairstyle that gives that impression, but it’s not him.

Who knows what a crazy human could do at some point?!

Well apart from the physical resemblance to Biden, there is also the fact that he lost his first wife. That doesn't help with the comparison. It's a fact that helps to get your character and the real person closer. No matter if your stance that they are not the same is only official or genuine. On that note I must applaud you for the look of your older male characters. Doing your own work to make them look original and not only use the same overaged model for the 100th time is noteworthy. And they look good too, not in the sens that they are beautiful but look their age.

It's genuinely amusing how utterly lost some people become the moment they're deprived of the option to mindlessly mash 'Path A' or 'Path B' like trained pigeons. At this point, this forum—and especially this thread—resembles a behavioral study more than a discussion, not unlike watching chimpanzees confronted with a puzzle they can’t brute-force.

To be fair to the average AVN player, the average AVN does in fact use a system where you can mindlessly chose one option over the other an cruise through the game. For that I find good that the game is confronting you with such choice this early.

A point in favor of those players though is that the master character is not known quantity to the player to this point with no prior example of how far he is willing to go to straighten his sheep. Maybe have the unnamed maid shake her head in the background while the player has to make that choice? Or add more intensity to the maid's answer to the threat of repercussions for her inappropriate makeup especially if it would be kind of out of character for her up to that point. It would ring some alarm bells in the head of the more observant players if she suddenly got out of her usual numbness.

As the first choice that require to be intelligent rather than simply go for the obvious domineering choice I feel it would help the players if that one got more hints than less. Further in the game hints could get more and more subtile and hard to spot.

One thing I like about that choice though, is that it's the first time you get to choose an "intelligent" choice. Prior to that the dominant choices are played out as mindless bratty outbursts. It's the first time you can have Emily be something more. (on the dominant path, I didn't play the sub path yet.) It's easier then to put Emily's behavior on a stage of grief she has difficulties getting through than her normal behavior.

Looking at the end of the update. I tend to prefer the one where you are friend with your childhood friend rather than the one where she is your slave. In the former the president is not smiling. Even if I'm looking forward to seeing both of those paths play out.

 

[Priappus]

Nice game.

 

[chawuciren71]

It's actually good writing which doesn't make me bored of reading.

 

[MelissaDoll]

Well apart from the physical resemblance to Biden, there is also the fact that he lost his first wife. That doesn't help with the comparison. It's a fact that helps to get your character and the real person closer. No matter if your stance that they are not the same is only official or genuine.

Wow, really? I’m not American and don’t follow U.S. politics closely, so I didn’t even know he lost his first wife. Yeah, that’s definitely an unfortunate parallel I hadn’t intended!

On that note I must applaud you for the look of your older male characters. Doing your own work to make them look original and not only use the same overaged model for the 100th time is noteworthy. And they look good too, not in the sens that they are beautiful but look their age.

Thanks! It takes time, but I also really dislike seeing the same characters reused over and over in other games. The first time I play a game with a character, that story becomes strongly associated with him/her — so I wanted to avoid that for my own project too.
I still struggle a bit with creating good-looking male characters though, but I'm working on it!

A point in favor of those players though is that the master character is not known quantity to the player to this point with no prior example of how far he is willing to go to straighten his sheep. Maybe have the unnamed maid shake her head in the background while the player has to make that choice? Or add more intensity to the maid's answer to the threat of repercussions for her inappropriate makeup especially if it would be kind of out of character for her up to that point. It would ring some alarm bells in the head of the more observant players if she suddenly got out of her usual numbness.

Good point! I might need to add some more hints to help with that.

Looking at the end of the update. I tend to prefer the one where you are friend with your childhood friend rather than the one where she is your slave. In the former the president is not smiling. Even if I'm looking forward to seeing both of those paths play out.

If anyone plans to check his behavior in the limousine after each choice, you’ll notice the changes:

• If she spanks her friend → he’s ecstatic
• If she befriends her → he’s not smiling, but he’s not in a bad mood either
• If she is the one being spanked → he’s visibly angry

It shows different types of outcomes, but more importantly, it makes one thing clear: nothing escapes his gaze.

Thanks for your feedbacks!

 

[MelissaDoll]

Enjoying what I've played so far, but taking a pause (i.e. not finished the release yet) to make a few (important?) notes about the beginning.

• We see the entirety of the private meeting between the maid and the President, yet later she claims he ordered his daughter to be treated like a maid, when what he really said was for the maid to tame his daughter.
  • Yet the "Master" (i.e. butler) seems to already know and go along with the maid's ... lie?
  • This is an error which can be corrected in several ways.
    • The easiest would be to have the President simply demand that his daughter be treated as a servant/maid and that her status should be treated as subservient to everyone including *her* maid.
    • The more interesting path I'll mention in a spoiler below.
• Chapter I is called "The New Maid" when it rapidly becomes obvious that they are not the new maid and that they've been lying to the President for most of a week (or a week, or more than a week) to protect the President's daughter.
  • Two options occur to me to solve this:
    • Option One is that the chapter name is renamed. Perhaps it is meant to refer to the President's daughter as "The New Maid", but there are lots of problems with that for average players/readers/etc. Perhaps call it "Sudden Demotion" or "The Princess becomes a Pauper" or anything else that seems appropriate to the situation.
    • Option Two would have the maid (after her barely passable blowjob) fired entirely. Then bring in a new character as the new maid who is expected to tame the President's daughter, etc.
      • note: I would use the existing maid (who is beautifully designed!) as the *replacement* new maid - and have her standing to the side and watching the previous maid's humiliation. I would recommend creating a different maid (blonde or redhead) for the one that is loyal to the President's daughter and summarily used and discarded.
• The President orders his daughter to strip out of her clothes, yet currently she keeps her tighty-whitey grandma panties. There are a few issues with this:
  • She's not wearing a bra. Perhaps she's underdeveloped enough not to need one, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I've had female friends who (briefly) chose to go bra-less, yet they quickly learned the horrors of speed bumps (i.e. if you're even modestly endowed, and are in a car that drives over a speed bump, it feels like your tits are going to rip off.)
    • Maybe this is just a temporary thing because she's indoors-only and not planning on going outside.
  • He ordered her to strip, which means buck-fucking-naked. If she's going to keep her panties, he should specify that.
    • "You can keep your underwear... oh, well, I guess that just means your grandma panties."
  • There are a number of ways to fix this, but the one I would recommend if I were part of the dev team would be to give the player a choice.
    • When the maid says the President's daughter should change, the player should get a choice to either go "as is" or to "dress properly"
      • If they go "as is" they get the content as is (with the exception of the President specifying she may keep her panties)
      • If they "dress properly" then... well, you decide. Either give him a different reason to strip her down to her panties, or let her go to the next scene with her more formal and more appropriate attire.
        • It doesn't really matter what she's wearing - a small change to the dialogue - the maid will order the President's daughter to follow her, strip, and wear the maid's uniform either way.
        • If you want, the guy in the hall who removes the furniture can also take the president's daughter's dress at that time. Actually... that's kinda hot. Give the player a choice to do so willingly (+submissive) or force him to strip her of her formal dress and leave her in just her underwear.

Which I believe brings us to the suggestion I want to tuck behind a spoiler tag here:

Spoiler: How the President's Daughter becomes a Maid

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Typo:
View attachment 5056162
should be: "Look at it. Have you ever seen something like this?"

Visual Adjustment: Research how to do throat bulges when a character has a dick or dildo larger/longer than their mouth.
View attachment 5056181

Additional note: This might be covered by the portion of the game I haven't seen, but the Player should have the option to run away... or to attempt to run away, at least. If they try, well... it won't affect much on the surface, but really fuck things up behind the scenes as the code should punish them A LOT for the attempt. Just my opinion. You do you.
Maybe it could be an early "Good" ending instead. I've seen several games that gave the player the opportunity for a rather quick *good* ending (that most of us would avoid... or maybe try, smile at the happy ending, then reload the previous save and make a different choice... 'cause we're mostly horrible perverts here.)
View attachment 5056184
View attachment 5056185

Some really interesting thoughts in there!
First of all, thanks a lot for taking the time to write such detailed feedback.

I’m not sure yet if I’ll implement any of the ideas you suggested, but if I do, I’ll definitely make sure to credit you. Though I like your way of thinking!
For now, I’ll continue (focus) on the story as planned and see later on if adding scenes like these or modifying some of them could help make the narrative flow more smoothly.

Got it for the typo, I will fix this!

Thanks again!

 

[TonyMurray]

Thanks! It takes time, but I also really dislike seeing the same characters reused over and over in other games. The first time I play a game with a character, that story becomes strongly associated with him/her — so I wanted to avoid that for my own project too.

I really appreciate this approach. Like you (and many others), I dislike seeing the same characters used over and over. When those models are used in multiple games, they also often become "typecast", so you run the risk of people making assumptions about what a new character is going to do, based on what they've seen him do in other games (using "him" because it's not so much a problem for female models, where there is a LOT more variety to start with anyway).

If anyone plans to check his behavior in the limousine after each choice, you’ll notice the changes:

• If she spanks her friend → he’s ecstatic
• If she befriends her → he’s not smiling, but he’s not in a bad mood either
• If she is the one being spanked → he’s visibly angry

It shows different types of outcomes, but more importantly, it makes one thing clear: nothing escapes his gaze.

I had been thinking about this, with the specific thought being "how does he know?" but as demonstrated when he arrived at the house, and as you say here, nothing escapes his gaze.

 

[cashxw]

Great so far.