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SlapE

Well-Known Member
Dec 4, 2022
1,824
5,121
Absolutely, and I wouldn't group you in with those I'm describing above. I don't have an interest in bdsm myself, but I also don't harbor the same animosity towards the fetish as a whole.

What I'm referring to above is a subset of that group, often overrepresented on these forums (and undoubtedly stereotyped by me, though experience shows this isn't entirely unfounded). This group loves maledom stuff, loves "corruption" stuff - but only the harem variety, often likes things like sleep sex/coercion/blackmail, doesn't go for magnanimous relationships, doesn't go for pure romance, and spazzes out at any kind of group sex other than a saudi harem. If I didn't know better, it would sound like a person who is phenomenally unnattractive irl and has little experience and uses avns to live out a fantasy world. Everyone is entitled to escapism and fantasies, but when people like that try and dictate what's "normal" or "wholesome", it sets me off.

Obviously many enjoy the aforementioned fetishes without being "that type", those just tend to be the loudest when confronted with content they don't like.
Yeah, there are definitely some special cases on this forum I won't argue with you there, I've seen quite a few. I for one hate blackmail, and corruption has lost all it's meaning honestly, I feel like that tag has been thrown into so many AVN's where it doesn't even really apply. When people try to lump in tags like blackmail, mind control, rape, and other tags that I personally despise, in with BDSM/Maledom and adjacent fetishes, it really irks me. People who are into these twisted fetishes, most of the time aren't in the BDSM lifestyle at all, they can overlap sure, but when I see people on this forum always comparing them and saying that maledom and related fetishes are bad because they're 'abusive', they're automatically discredited in my eyes. Because those people obviously only have their knowledge of these things from adult games, and usually these fetishes aren't even accurately portrayed in those games to begin with.

I really wish more devs would take their time with all the fetishes that fall under the BDSM umbrella, when they put them into their games. I rarely find a game that portrays these fetishes accurately or in a good light, I'm always pleasantly surprised when I do. It also just feels like devs think that BDSM and romance are mutually exclusive for some reason, I often times see BDSM umbrella fetishes being a separate entity to romance in many AVN's, which is another thing that irks me.
 

xapican

Devoted Member
May 11, 2020
10,542
15,967
Although both of you have solid points, and I agree wholeheartly with them.
I want to point one thing out; it is not very wholesome to compare Real Life with this subverse or how you want to call it.
I fear that when I do this, I become them, and the line between reality and fantasie starts to blurr.
Edit: SlapE or lack the basic understanding of it, and it is just what they think it would be has nothing to do with reality, and how it is implemeted on a "safe" level.
 
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Maviarab

Dark Lord of the Coffee
Donor
Jul 12, 2020
10,551
24,696
I want to point one thing out; it is not very wholesome to compare Real Life with this subverse or how you want to call it.
Wait...you mean....fuuuuck....so that's why security walked me outside to the cops at work? I only suggested they may get a raise if they stroked my shiny helmet!

Why didn't any of you assholes tell me?????
 

Old Grumpy Wolf

Devoted Member
Jul 17, 2021
8,916
13,633
Not all dom/sub relationships, activities or adjacent kinks are about treating someone like shit, hell in fact IRL the majority of them are very much not. It's a lifestyle, and of course a fetish, or rather a group of fetishes in most cases. I loathe when I see people treat all D/S relationships like they're this abusive and/or demeaning entity, when they're not. Yes, a lot of people who partake in BDSM activities, do tend to restrict their play to the bedroom or at least at home. However, there are also a number of people who're lifestyle doms or subs, who want to be in a relationship based around that lifestyle and culture 24/7. When both parties in such a relationship or activity are consenting to it, enjoy it, and respect each other's boundaries, it can actually be one of the most fulfilling things for some people and their sex lives or lives in general.
My ol' lady and I are into the DD/lg community. It's amazin seeing how others in the community are. Lately though, because of my health, she's been more of the adult than I have. It does grind my gears, but hey, she has stepped into the caregiver roll as my health has dwindled. Others in the community also come by/call/text to check on me and none of them are judgemental over my roll slippage. Always very encouragin and upliftin.
 
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Quetzzz

Active Member
Sep 29, 2023
568
861
the only true sin this game has done is the part about breeding being a Plot device to save MC, and for some reason the fertile girls within his need of children can be shared? Just dont make much sense.
Yeah, I had ignored Kari up to that point (though Kara started to appeal to me), and this plotline just made me go "fuck it, I'll just die early".

People who are into these twisted fetishes, most of the time aren't in the BDSM lifestyle at all
The overlap is that it caters to certain male (power) fantasies. In the case of BDSM, it's the misconception that the Dom will make the Sub do whatever they want, while in reality the Sub sets the limits. Though concerning boundary crossing behavior, I notice this more with games trying to do femdom, where the man is often literally at her mercy. For male protagonists, it isn't the Sub setting the limits, but the game itself.
 

Pr0GamerJohnny

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 7, 2022
6,759
10,122
the only true sin this game has done is the part about breeding being a Plot device to save MC, and for some reason the fertile girls within his need of children can be shared? Just dont make much sense.
I'm not sure I'd call "making decisions so that she starts working as a bathroom prostitute" sharing, but to each their own!

I'm still waiting for the code adjustment where you can be 1 on 1 with Kari and tell her sisters to buzz off (from the bedroom, not from your life).
Yeah, I had ignored Kari up to that point (though Kara started to appeal to me), and this plotline just made me go "fuck it, I'll just die early".


The overlap is that it caters to certain male (power) fantasies. In the case of BDSM, it's the misconception that the Dom will make the Sub do whatever they want, while in reality the Sub sets the limits. Though concerning boundary crossing behavior, I notice this more with games trying to do femdom, where the man is often literally at her mercy. For male protagonists, it isn't the Sub setting the limits, but the game itself.
A lot just seems like lazy dev work to me - imagine a setup where there are decision forks to decide whether or not to talk about boundaries/comfort at the start, and variables set, perhaps with the player ignoring too much of this they end up without their sub partner.

Ofc that's that's unlikely, because in games lot of the maledom sphere has been usurped by abuse enthusiasts, and a lot of the femdom sphere has been usurped by humilation enthusiasts.
 
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WarrenHeltzer

Newbie
Sep 16, 2020
99
235
My ol' lady and I are into the DD/lg community. It's amazin seeing how others in the community are. Lately though, because of my health, she's been more of the adult than I have. It does grind my gears, but hey, she has stepped into the caregiver roll as my health has dwindled. Others in the community also come by/call/text to check on me and none of them are judgemental over my roll slippage. Always very encouragin and upliftin.
From one DD to another, Daddy isn't just a role, my friend, it's a state of mind.

Even if you can no longer fulfill the role like you used to, to a devoted little, you will still be "Daddy", sometimes even more so.
 

Old Grumpy Wolf

Devoted Member
Jul 17, 2021
8,916
13,633
From one DD to another, Daddy isn't just a role, my friend, it's a state of mind.

Even if you can no longer fulfill the role like you used to, to a devoted little, you will still be "Daddy", sometimes even more so.
I know. Been in the LS a long time. It just grinds my gears that she barely has any little time due to my health.
 
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Quetzzz

Active Member
Sep 29, 2023
568
861
A lot just seems like lazy dev work to me - imagine a setup where there are decision forks to decide whether or not to talk about boundaries/comfort at the start, and variables set, perhaps with the player ignoring too much of this they end up without their sub partner.

Ofc that's that's unlikely, because in games lot of the maledom sphere has been usurped by abuse enthusiasts, and a lot of the femdom sphere has been usurped by humilation enthusiasts.
Yeah, I agree. One game that did this well is "Nothing is Forever", IMO. Players can "invest" in kinks that they're interested in, and it separates humiliation, degradation and submission. I love character-driven games, and would love to see more action & reactions like your example.
In the case of this game, I think it would've been nice if the secretary, when at the sex club, said her safeword as soon as she saw the construction guy gawking. (Or even if the player got to decide if she did or not) I'm not a fan of how that scene turned out, but the alternative was an entire dud. Yeah, more work for the dev with all the forking paths. I can understand that they're also limited by the pressure of players to have more content in length, not width.
 

Dragon59

Conversation Conqueror
Apr 24, 2020
6,706
10,972
Yeah, there are definitely some special cases on this forum I won't argue with you there, I've seen quite a few. I for one hate blackmail, and corruption has lost all it's meaning honestly, I feel like that tag has been thrown into so many AVN's where it doesn't even really apply. When people try to lump in tags like blackmail, mind control, rape, and other tags that I personally despise, in with BDSM/Maledom and adjacent fetishes, it really irks me. People who are into these twisted fetishes, most of the time aren't in the BDSM lifestyle at all, they can overlap sure, but when I see people on this forum always comparing them and saying that maledom and related fetishes are bad because they're 'abusive', they're automatically discredited in my eyes. Because those people obviously only have their knowledge of these things from adult games, and usually these fetishes aren't even accurately portrayed in those games to begin with.

I really wish more devs would take their time with all the fetishes that fall under the BDSM umbrella, when they put them into their games. I rarely find a game that portrays these fetishes accurately or in a good light, I'm always pleasantly surprised when I do. It also just feels like devs think that BDSM and romance are mutually exclusive for some reason, I often times see BDSM umbrella fetishes being a separate entity to romance in many AVN's, which is another thing that irks me.
My housemate (who is a lifestyle Domme) and I are working on some story ideas where we'll have a "leather family" who work together on an interstellar cargo ship. It will have both love and respect as well as kink.

Regarding people declaring things "abusive," I remember one frequent commenter on The Genesis Order forum who saw large dildo-like insertions as de facto abuse and torture.
 
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