Don't know if we'd get the joke, though.
Let's find out...
A single mum, living paycheck-to-paycheck, wins a few hundred pounds on a scratchcard.
Times have been tough since her husband left, so she decides to take her thirteen-year-old son to Blackpool (a seaside resort) for a nice day out.
They get up early, have breakfast and call a minicab to take them to the train station.
Billy goes and explores the train and comes back all excited.
"Mam! Mam! There's a buffet car! Buy us a coke, will yer?"
(In the north of England, "us" is used to mean "me")
"But you only just 'ad yer breakfast 'alf an hour ago!"
"Oh! Go on, mam..."
"Oh, alright then."
She hands over some cash to cover the extortionate price the franchise holder is charging for a can of coke.
A short time later, they arrive in Blackpool and they're walking along the promedade. Billy spots an ice cream van.
"Mam! Mam! There's an ice cream van! Will you get us an ice cream?"
"Now look, son, you've just 'ad a coke, and breakfast not more than an hour ago..."
"Oh! Go on, mam..."
"Oh, alright then."
She pays an arm and a leg for an ice cream which Billy rapidly devours.
Before long, Billy spies a hot dog vendor.
"Mam! Mam! Will you buy us an 'ot dog?"
"Jesus Christ, Billy, you've already 'ad an ice cream, a coke, and yer breakfast..."
"Oh! Go on, mam..."
"Oh, go on then."
She buys him a hot dog and he's satisfied for a while. But then they see a stall selling candy floss.
"Mam! Mam! They 'ave candy floss."
"Now look, Billy. You've 'ad hot dog, ice cream and a coke since breakfast, you're going to spoil yer lunch."
"Oh, but I'm 'ungry, Mam!"
Needless to say, she buys him the candy floss.
Time flies, and before you know it they're at McDonalds where Billy gorges himself on two Big Macs, large fries and a McFlurry.
Soon after that they come across the donkey rides. For a ridiculous amount of money, you get a five-minute ride on some tired old donkey that'll be glue pretty soon.
"Mam! Mam! I wanna donkey ride!"
She hands over the money and Billy eagerly climbs up on the donkey's back. He's barely been on it a minute when the donkey pulls up lame.
The ride operator is not the nicest guy and tells them the donkey will be put down.
"Mam! Mam! Can we keep 'im?"
"No, Billy! We can't 'ave a donkey! Besides, you'd probably eat 'im..."
"Oh, go on Mam! I'll take care of 'im, and we can keep 'im in the shed at the bottom of the garden! Will yer buy 'im for us"
Billy's mum is too tired to argue and hands over most of her remaining cash for a geriatric donkey.
Somehow or other they get him on the train, but there's no way a minicab can accomodate a donkey, and they're forced to walk back from the station.
It's very late by the time they finally get home.
"It's been a long day, so get that donkey in the shed then get upstairs and brush yer teeth for bed."
"Okay, Mam!"
"What are yer gonna call 'im?"
Billy thinks for a moment.
"Well, he is kind of old and pathetic, isn't he? I'm gonna call 'im Wanker!"
Billy's mum is too tired to argue.
"Alreet, put 'im in the shed and get to bed."
Billy knows he's pushed his luck today and does as he's told without further argument.
Hours later, they are fast asleep when there's a thunderstorm. The lightning frightens the donkey and he crashes through the shed door and bolts.
Billy looks out his window and sees the donkey disappearing into the distance.
He rushes to his mother's bedroom.
"Mam! Mam! Wanker's off..."
(You have to say it out loud)
"Now look, son, you've 'ad ice cream..."