HTML The Shadow of Olympus [v1.8] [gds21]

[gds21]

"It did not make sense for the MC to be a champion of Aphrodite and not like men," - I disagree. Aphrodite is/was the Goddess of 'love, beauty, desire, and pleasure' (as well as others, sometimes even including war, but those are the most common, along with fertility). There's really no need to 'love', or even 'like' men in that. It might beneficial, sure, but.. you could very easily lean into have the MC lean heavily into the 'desire and pleasure' aspects of Aphrodite worship, having the MC use seduction and sexuality (but not always nessesarily meaning sex) to manipulate others, likely mostly men, to achieve her (and Aphrodite's) goals. A rather apathetic style, where the main character simply views men, or even just other people, as mere tools to be used and manipulated to achieve her goals. Lust, is a powerful tool, and an even more powerful weapon.

I partly agree. I understand wanting the option to have a playthrough where men are used and manipulated by the MC without her spreading her legs for everyone. Maybe, as I said in my previous comment, staving off men is more of an Athena/Artemis thing. Let me know if you have any ideas off the top of your head on how this could be implemented. I'm all ears, and if it fits well, I will happily add it.
But back to Aphrodite, yes, she was pretty much the master of flirtation. But also, she has had so many affairs with other gods and even mortals. She has fought over men with other goddesses. So it's specifically not that all the men liked Aphrodite, but Aphrodite only used men, without earning for them. It's simple: Aphrodite liked men, and men liked her.

 

[gds21]

It's very good so far. Only played once and yes, some may complain there is not many choices in the game, I guess it's more interactive story then game, but it is a huge story. Very well writen. I'm surprised it has such small fallowing. If it was a novel it would easly be a hit on Scribble Hub or something similiar.

Glad you liked it. Please let me know what options you would like to have. If I can find a way to insert those options without compromising the story, I will add them. I have not added a lot of options, pretty much because I don't know what the players want. Giving me some suggestions would be helpful for me to plan with that in mind.

 

[DartBatiatus]

Glad you liked it. Please let me know what options you would like to have. If I can find a way to insert those options without compromising the story, I will add them. I have not added a lot of options, pretty much because I don't know what the players want. Giving me some suggestions would be helpful for me to plan with that in mind.

I guess what's missing for me is having a romantic lover. I only played Aphrodite path so it could be one of female companions (or both) or maybe one of bodyguard pretorians. Depending on player prefrence. But it;s still early in the story.

 

[gds21]

I guess what's missing for me is having a romantic lover. I only played Aphrodite path so it could be one of female companions (or both) or maybe one of bodyguard pretorians. Depending on player prefrence. But it;s still early in the story.

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[Mhuahaha]

Defender is identifying the RAR file as containing the virus "script/Wacatac.B!ml".

Funnily enough, scanning the unrarred files with defender (after disabling it first to unrar) does not result in a virus notification. Scanning with MalwareBytes also comes up negative.

I am fairly certain the virus notification is a false positive.

 

[gds21]

Defender is identifying the RAR file as containing the virus "script/Wacatac.B!ml".

Funnily enough, scanning the unrarred files with defender (after disabling it first to unrar) does not result in a virus notification. Scanning with MalwareBytes also comes up negative.

I am fairly certain the virus notification is a false positive.

It's basic PNGs and the Twine HTML, nothing else is there. If you're still worried about having those files, feel free to play the online version directly in the browser, download is not needed.

 

[Nhenna]

I partly agree. I understand wanting the option to have a playthrough where men are used and manipulated by the MC without her spreading her legs for everyone. Maybe, as I said in my previous comment, staving off men is more of an Athena/Artemis thing. Let me know if you have any ideas off the top of your head on how this could be implemented. I'm all ears, and if it fits well, I will happily add it.
But back to Aphrodite, yes, she was pretty much the master of flirtation. But also, she has had so many affairs with other gods and even mortals. She has fought over men with other goddesses. So it's specifically not that all the men liked Aphrodite, but Aphrodite only used men, without earning for them. It's simple: Aphrodite liked men, and men liked her.

Admittedly, for Ol' Arti especially, most of my ideas feel a little too.. Ass Creed: Odyssy. To.. tropey, and I don't like it. What you've got so generally seems to avoid many common tropes, and I'd rather not besmirch that.

However...

If you're asking for suggestions.. What I'd suggest is adding in an entirely different Option C for which divine to champion: Nike. As the Goddess of Victory, she could easily be used as something off a generalist. True, Nike didn't get nearly as many temples as Aphrodite, Ares, Athena or Artimes. But she was still very often revered. I don't know where your story is going long term (as I said, I basically started speedrunning through pages, searching for player agency and ended up giving up when I couldn't find it). But, at least from my perspective, adding Nike as a potential option for champion..ship (that is the right word here, right? lol) should work pretty well for players who's choices don't exactly fit into any particular mold.

'You beat the game! Congratulations! Victory!
~Love, Nike'

 

[gds21]

Admittedly, for Ol' Arti especially, most of my ideas feel a little too.. Ass Creed: Odyssy. To.. tropey, and I don't like it. What you've got so generally seems to avoid many common tropes, and I'd rather not besmirch that.

However...

If you're asking for suggestions.. What I'd suggest is adding in an entirely different Option C for which divine to champion: Nike. As the Goddess of Victory, she could easily be used as something off a generalist. True, Nike didn't get nearly as many temples as Aphrodite, Ares, Athena or Artimes. But she was still very often revered. I don't know where your story is going long term (as I said, I basically started speedrunning through pages, searching for player agency and ended up giving up when I couldn't find it). But, at least from my perspective, adding Nike as a potential option for champion..ship (that is the right word here, right? lol) should work pretty well for players who's choices don't exactly fit into any particular mold.

'You beat the game! Congratulations! Victory!
~Love, Nike'

Not entirely sure how I would implement that, Nike is not a major deity like Athena/Artemis/Aphrodite/Ares. Nike does not have a complex lore behind her where the MC idolizing her would stand out. Nike is pretty much a charioteer to Zeus and Athena. If the MC chooses Nike, what kind of adventures would she have? What would the character arc be? Maybe the loser-to-winner character arc is the only thing I can think of off the top of my head. Don't think we can have extensive stories with this arc. For example, for Aphrodite and Ares, you know what you are getting, there are predictable character archetypes and predictable challenges, but I'm not sure if that will work with Nike. Thanks for the suggestion, though. We can have Nike as a minor story point in other major storylines, maybe. I hope when you have some time, you are able to complete a playthrough. The last page has the roadmap for what is coming up next.

 

[Mhuahaha]

It's basic PNGs and the Twine HTML, nothing else is there. If you're still worried about having those files, feel free to play the online version directly in the browser, download is not needed.

Every time Defender triggers a false positive with a download you will have many who will post their concerns. Rightfully so, there was even a case on F95 roughly a week ago of a download file containing a virus. Posted that analysis to say "I checked it, it's a false positive".

 

[mbRjpZLD]

It's basic PNGs and the Twine HTML, nothing else is there. If you're still worried about having those files, feel free to play the online version directly in the browser, download is not needed.

Please store the image as webp, you can reduce file size by a lot with no loss of quality.

 

[Daisies]

What's the incest content here?

 

[gds21]

What's the incest content here?

These are the major choices:
Choose to speak with father ---> Encourage your father to fight ---> Pray to Aphrodite ---> Agree to the deal ---> confess to your mother. In this route, there is a scene with the father.

 

[Laughingfox]

Hrm. I was hoping for a path where you work with the mom in terms of sexy scenarios, so I was curious where the prison 'break' would lead. Or the MC gets pounded by Aphrodite herself with a blessed dong to properly give her champion a gift (instead of a male proxy), haha. ...And then well, things happened. Truth be told, I have not loaded up the game since discovering the Ares path, haha.

Seems like monster interaction will be tied to that, and while I love the concept of her fighting *and* fucking, the way she gets there and the leaps of logic made to do so/justify it just... didn't work for me.

Time to give it another go, I suppose.

 

[gds21]

Hrm. I was hoping for a path where you work with the mom in terms of sexy scenarios, so I was curious where the prison 'break' would lead. Or the MC gets pounded by Aphrodite herself with a blessed dong to properly give her champion a gift (instead of a male proxy), haha. ...And then well, things happened. Truth be told, I have not loaded up the game since discovering the Ares path, haha.

Seems like monster interaction will be tied to that, and while I love the concept of her fighting *and* fucking, the way she gets there and the leaps of logic made to do so/justify it just... didn't work for me.

Time to give it another go, I suppose.

Try the Ares path till the end of chapter 2 and let me know if you like it.

 

[Laughingfox]

Okay. So. That... was a lot. First and foremost, after the 'scene' where our lead gets

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, it all needs to be edited so not to be underlined like this for every word.

Second, I'm a pretty voracious reader, and even I had difficulty dealing with some of the larger blocks of text. Breaking them up a bit would likely go a long ways for flow and general understanding.

Third, maybe a glossary or index for these characters should be set up at some point. Especially near the climax where there are so many changing names and faces, or potential callbacks.

Fourth, a little oddity, you use the exact same line for two victorious arena battles in a row: This was your moment, your triumph, and you savored every second of it.

Fifth... the Ares plot still gives me a headache. Spoilers from this point on to lower the massive block of text and all that. Wall of text incoming.

Spoiler: Spoilers, opinions, and oof!

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So, did I enjoy the Ares path, nitpicks aside? ...I'd like to. Clearly a lot of work and love went into the writing and the many pieces on the puzzle board.

 

[gds21]

Okay. So. That... was a lot. First and foremost, after the 'scene' where our lead gets

Spoiler

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, it all needs to be edited so not to be underlined like this for every word.

Second, I'm a pretty voracious reader, and even I had difficulty dealing with some of the larger blocks of text. Breaking them up a bit would likely go a long ways for flow and general understanding.

Third, maybe a glossary or index for these characters should be set up at some point. Especially near the climax where there are so many changing names and faces, or potential callbacks.

Fourth, a little oddity, you use the exact same line for two victorious arena battles in a row: This was your moment, your triumph, and you savored every second of it.

Fifth... the Ares plot still gives me a headache. Spoilers from this point on to lower the massive block of text and all that. Wall of text incoming.

Spoiler: Spoilers, opinions, and oof!

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

So, did I enjoy the Ares path, nitpicks aside? ...I'd like to. Clearly a lot of work and love went into the writing and the many pieces on the puzzle board.

Thanks for the write-up; looking at the length of this write-up, I know you spent a lot of time noting down and writing this. I truly appreciate the effort you put into giving me this feedback.

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I hope I touched on all the points mentioned by you. Also, the feedback regarding the what-if scenarios and the need for more fantastical beings is noted. As mentioned previously, I would be working on new paths and a new prologue anyway; I will incorporate them into the story too. The new prologue should fix Peregrine more, because Medaea and Philtra are better established than Peregrine, who has little to do or say. Looking forward to your response to this.

 

[Laughingfox]

Hahaha. I'm just a wandering pirate rando, but I'll toss some ideas back while they are still fresh. I did just finish a run through chapter 2 on the Aphrodite side of things for a little contrast.

That path felt a bit better, pacing wise, but much like the Ares it felt

Spoiler: Large chunk of text is large

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The sky is the limit and all that. Best of luck!

 

[gds21]

Hahaha. I'm just a wandering pirate rando, but I'll toss some ideas back while they are still fresh. I did just finish a run through chapter 2 on the Aphrodite side of things for a little contrast.

That path felt a bit better, pacing wise, but much like the Ares it felt

Spoiler: Large chunk of text is large

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The sky is the limit and all that. Best of luck!

Thanks again for the detailed response and feedback. About Aphrodite's path feeling better than the Ares path, that is most likely because Philtra is an active protagonist in that story, as she is in a position of power and is using it, but in the Ares path, she is a passive protagonist as a slave, and things happen to her, and she just reacts and rarely makes any meaningful choice. I agree with most of the points, and I would like to provide you with the below few clarifications.

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Thanks, and I hope to see you for the upcoming few updates too. Your feedback is always welcome.