VN - Ren'Py - Completed - Through Spacetime [Final] [Empiric]

Wow. This is a great game. Let me break it down. First off, love the setup for this story. With your OC being on a spaceship and picked up by a group of explorers, this opens up tons of unique and interesting situations. You can find a planet of plant women who are struggling to survive because of their limited gene diversity. A planet of amazons who are constantly at war with each other (This could even be played as a way to clue in the audience that the future is not perfect) . So many opportunities not even including the main crew.

Though my favorite part had to be the end with the mysterious alien. We don't know her backstory yet even with the picture perfect spaceship with all the crew members getting along and humanity in a golden age, their was always a feeling of unease. The way crew members described how Earth was united in only two years with no conflict just felt fishy.

The only reason I am not giving 5 star is because it it clearly a game in development. To the author, I hope you give us the audience small clues about what is really going on in the galaxy to reward players who are patient enough to read the dialogue.

The game is a little too... Hasty, in my opinion.

It takes the worst part about the porn movies, and extends it to everything. It doesn't take the time to like, do everything properly. To explain things. To have a real, nice sex scene, with foreplay, with time taken during the intercourse, with time taken after. To have an actual dialogue, where characters just talk like they normally would.

It doesn't even take time for the "show, don't tell" rule - it tells us everything we need to know, but some things are much better shown instead - show us the scene where the girls receive the distress call. Show us the ship, show us the shuttle. Show us how each of the girls reacts to the distress call, show how each of them reacts to having found a man. Have MC talk about Star Trek with Morgan, show how disconnected he actually is from the world. Show how much of a technological shock he experiences in this new world. There is just so much to explore in a story like this!

Alternatively, go the naughty route. Keep the story to a minimum, but explore girls' bodies, show them off from every angle, let MC explore them. Have Eve feel excited about sex with a real man, have Samantha be inexperienced on sexual matters and unsure of herself, let them take time having sex, and focus everything on it. In general, just take time.

Instead, it feels a little like rapid fire mode. Within 10 minutes, you are told all of the backstory already. All the character building scenes are over before they really had a chance to begin. MC's such a one pump chump that it feels like a personal attack.

Don't worry, author. The players are not gonna run away if you take a dozen screens for a dialogue/exposition, especially if you keep giving them visual treats and teasing them, or tell them something interesting, or engage them in other ways. Take your time. Your game deserves it.