PickerLewd
Engaged Member
- Dec 22, 2022
- 2,973
- 3,820
- 397
You might be able to get away with it by inventing an excuse, such as paint corrosion caused by running the race
.- Thread starter ADAMS Owl`s
- Start date
.
You might be able to get away with it by inventing an excuse, such as paint corrosion caused by running the race
- Jul 26, 2023
- 18,774
- 49,419
- 922
Or just be boring - he bought new wheels.You might be able to get away with it by inventing an excuse, such as paint corrosion caused by running the race
- Jul 26, 2023
- 18,774
- 49,419
- 922
PickerLewd
Engaged Member
- Dec 22, 2022
- 2,973
- 3,820
- 397
JFKdj
Newbie
- Dec 15, 2022
- 63
- 125
- 157
Quetzzz
Well-Known Member
- Sep 29, 2023
- 1,077
- 1,615
- 287
This game has promise, but also a ton of issues.
UI:
First impression: Looks great! A lot of effort has to have gone into this.
General remarks:
UI:
First impression: Looks great! A lot of effort has to have gone into this.
- The button for "gallery of special renders" is fairly hidden. I suggest changing it into a textbutton on the bottom bar, next to the socials.
- The hover effect in this gallery can be sped up; it feels unresponsive.
- It has an icon that, when clicked, shows a popup saying this character doesn't have renders yet. The meaning of this icon isn't clear before a player clicks on it.
- I'm not a fan of the mouse cursor. I don't mind it as a cursor itself, but I would love it changing into a pointer when hovering over responsive UI elements.
- The hover effect on the preferences screen could also be sped up. For me it feels slow.
- The Discord screenshot and "found a bug" segment aren't relevant to preferences, and it would be better to separate them visually. For instance, by adding a lighter background to that section to make them stand out. The "send" button could be renamed to "Join Discord" since pressing it doesn't actually send anything.
- I'd like to suggest combining the settings into 3 different sections:
- Move the language selection to the main screen. This is the first thing that players will want to change when launching the game; audio is second.
- Accessibility with all settings pertaining to font size, outline, textbox, ...
- Sound (with sliders for music, SFX, ambient sound, and voices/sex sounds if applicable, ...)
- Gameplay (or Game, or General) with settings like windowed/fullscreen, text speed, auto speed, rollback, and skip options. Other potential options include disabling the quick menu or a configurable transition speed.
- On the submenus you can remove the "return" button since the picture on the left already serves this purpose and the name of the submenu is already shown at the top. "Return" can be printed on the picture instead. This opens up more screen real estate for actual options. The current Screen section feels very busy with the in-game example of the interface. It would be better to push this example down and also put it on a brighter background to show it's a different UI segment.
- Save/Load menus
- I'd love a silver outline around the save slots to mark where they are. This is especially useful for saves made on an intertitle or otherwise dark render that would blend with the black background.
- We only get 9 pages for saves. This could be plenty; I don't know how many possible paths there are through the game. The points.rpy file suggests that the current content doesn't have many choices, so I'm assuming replayability or path variation is low.
- If you don't want to add arrows for more pages, a scrollable/draggable viewport with page numbers can be used. Or, the count can expand when a higher page is selected. (Selecting page 6 shows pages 2–10.)
- Page selection becomes temporarily unresponsive when clicking through pages quickly.
General remarks:
- Most LIs (Mira, Kira, Nova, Olivia) are family. With the current crackdown on certain kinks, I'm not sure Steam will accept the game in its current form.
- In some renders, Kira's face looks too small and thin for her body and hair. Her cheeks look gaunt, and I think this is because the corners of her jaw are too wide compared to her cheekbones.
- Characters have thick and heavy eyebrows. They immediately draw the player's attention, and that's not necessarily a good thing.
- Some renders stand out for evoking emotions, but many feel bland and overused. Often it's just the same face with the same neutral expression but with a different camera angle. Dialogue often feels deadpan because there is little change in emotion or body language.
- Eyes are too shiny. The MC looks as if he's constantly teary-eyed.
- Cinematography is generally fine, except when the camera moves from the left side of a character to the right side in the same conversation. I get that showing different angles can break monotony, but changing a character's body language or having them move around works much better and avoids disorienting the audience.
- In the same vein, wide shots are key to interesting dialogue because they allow the characters to play off each other instead of just showing close-ups. The environments are great; I'd love to see more of them.
- The legalese surrounding Luca's actions is nonsense in combination with Mike's death and inheritance law. Maybe this is on purpose to clue in the audience that something weird is going on, but the audience can't know whether this is a clue or the writer not doing enough research.
- The writing in the prologue goes to great effort to show the MC as meek and the sisters as abusive and hostile. At least Kira and the MC are consistent, even if their characterization doesn't paint them in the best light. The MC is shown as a peacekeeper, but this is at the expense of his own dignity.
- In the prologue, Mira is generally unpleasant. When she makes breakfast, she expresses a need for praise and acknowledgment three times. When she doesn't get her way, her claws come out. And the MC is a constant target to make herself feel better. Even a touching moment by the pool gets perverted into her threatening the MC if he doesn't do as she asks.
Suddenly, in chapter 1, Mira almost turns into a sweetheart, and I'm suffering from tonal whiplash. I've not been given a single reason to trust Mira other than "big boobs". She literally tells the MC she has him in the palm of her hand, and I can't see anything positive she does as an attempt at manipulation. - Also in chapter 1, the MC suddenly found his balls. He's much more assertive and warns the sisters if they're crossing a boundary. This is great, but it isn't earned. A single night's sleep and getting kicked out of the bed doesn't cause a personality shift.
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
PickerLewd
Engaged Member
- Dec 22, 2022
- 2,973
- 3,820
- 397
Aside from Quetzzz's lengthy post, I'd like to add that unless Luca were gay, no one would kick a woman like Nova and her daughters out of the house on the spot . They've filled the house with beauty , they should be given at least a week to remove their belongings, including the paint from the walls .
. They've filled the house with beauty , they should be given at least a week to remove their belongings, including the paint from the walls .
UI: I fully agree with the remarks. I received similar feedback from testers, and most of the issues have already been fixed. Thank you for the suggestions — they’re well-reasoned and constructive, and I plan to implement many of them in upcoming updates.
Family members: None of the characters are blood relatives. Nova was not married to Mike, so for the main character the girls are not considered sisters. We’ve already revised some parts of the plot and dialogue to make this more obvious and prevent players from getting the wrong impression.
Lack of emotions in renders: Yes, this is common feedback. I’m working on improving emotional expression, but the main challenge is finding a balance so the emotions look natural rather than exaggerated. I’m confident that over time I’ll reach that “golden middle ground.”
Camera work: This is a fair remark — others have also pointed out the abrupt angle changes. I’m now trying to avoid such moments, adding more wide shots and making the frame composition more stable and comfortable for the viewer.
Main character: The MC wasn’t always as passive as he is at the beginning. As the story develops, he will gradually return to his former self — more confident and strong. His current “softness” is an intentional part of his character arc, and his growth will become more noticeable with each new episode.
The situation with Luca: Initially, the terms of the agreement between Mike and Luca were as follows: for the duration of the debt, all acquired property — the house, the company, and other assets — would be registered under Luca until the debt was fully paid off. In the current dialogues this is explained rather superficially, but later the story will go into detail about the legal structure and the motivations of both sides, so the logic will become completely clear.
(I know that even in this form it’s illegal, but this arc will be fully explored later, with all the clarifications. This is my first game. When I entered this industry, I started entirely from scratch — with no experience, no understanding of the processes, and no clear creative direction. I’m still learning, and of course not everything turns out perfect yet. But detailed and thoughtful feedback like this helps me move in the right direction, see the weaknesses, and grow as a developer. Thank you for taking the time to provide such extensive and meaningful feedback — I truly appreciate it.)
As for the moving van with the belongings — they will return to the old house to pick up the rest of the items; or to be more precise, they will hire a van for that.
Quetzzz
Well-Known Member
- Sep 29, 2023
- 1,077
- 1,615
- 287
I'm afraid this is a nuance that's lost on Steam and payment processors. They live together in a quasi-family unit, which is considered (veiled) incest.
From context we learn that they've known each other for years, and we will assume they've all been living together.
Awesome, I'm so happy to hear that! I think wide shots and showing both people in a conversation at the same time will let you do this. This way you don't just have the face to work with, but the entire body (crossed arms showing resistance, a small forward lean to show engagement, etc). You're right about being careful to not exaggerate, but you have some leeway.
That's fair, but we aren't shown this. I think it's commendable that the MC wants to keep the peace, but he's taking a LOT of abuse. Mira tells him a few weeks after he lost his father that he's spoiled and too dumb to be his biological son. That's brutal, and he just takes it. We're told this is starting to get to him, but its impact is missing.
It might help to show more of the MC's thought process. His thoughts could help us nuance what we're seeing. We don't know these characters like he does, and our first impressions of them aren't great, and we're led to believe that they always act like this, making us question why the MC is trying to put in so much effort and patience.
You could tie his behavior to his martial arts training: Miyamoto Musashi's teachings of “The ultimate aim is to have no enemies.” He speaks about mastery through restraint, not dominance, and that's the MC to a T. He doesn't bully the sisters into compliance, but in the prologue he doesn't do anything to command respect either. Musashi's quote doesn't mean to turn the other cheek and just take it. After all, when abuse is deliberate dominance, restraint becomes complicity. Both Mira and Kira want to feel better at the MC's expense, and often he's complicit by agreeing to the insults or not standing up for himself and his dignity.
After Kira's remarks cut him to the core, I wouldn't mind him getting in her face and saying something like, "You think you're so smart? I can break both your arms in three seconds. How smart is it to keep pushing me?" He could remain calm while seething inside, not even touching her. His restraint is what would command respect, because he's telling her he's capable of hurting her and merely chooses not to. It's not a threat of violence, but a reminder that she's playing with fire, that he, and her bones, have a breaking point.
This small scenario might be completely out of character for the MC's arc, but before the MC can regain his normal attitude, he needs to reach a breaking point first. The audience needs to see that the sisters finally pushed him too far and him realizing that things can't go on like this. Everything is cause and effect.
Also, a soft-spoken character can still be confident and strong. He doesn't need to become arrogant and commanding; he just can't be someone's punching bag (unless that's what you are going for; it is a valid choice, just one I don't enjoy personally). I think it was a great choice to give him a background in martial arts, and I think you can use that philosophy of restraint and quiet power. He'd know that sometimes you have to walk away to avoid escalation. I'm repeating myself, but the difference is how this is communicated to the audience. Is it a quiet acceptance of the abuse he's suffering (submission), or is he choosing not to fight because the consequences for everyone involved would be dire (inner strength)? What the audience is seeing is the same in both scenarios, but his thoughts could tell us what motivates him.
You're right, that's still fairly iffy. And it's not mutually exclusive to THC owning all assets and Mike having underwritten the loan with the shares of the company. One alternative is the concept of usufruct, which exists in several common law countries. The closest US equivalent would be a life estate.
It's about the distinction between owning a property or company and having the right to use and enjoy it.
If THC owns the house (and cars, except Nova's), then Mike could have granted Luca the usufruct (the right to enjoy the profits and act as its CEO) to pay off the debt without owning the shares. The MC would still inherit those, and he would regain the usufruct after the loan was paid off.
In essence, the MC would own THC and all of its assets but wouldn't see any profits or have any say until Luca's loan has been paid off. Meanwhile, Luca is acting CEO and can collect all dividends, but he can't sell the company without the MC's consent. Tanking the company would be illegal, since he has the fiduciary duty to act in the best interest of the company and its shareholders. The MC has a legal recourse if Luca acts in bad faith as CEO.
While Luca couldn't evict the MC, he could demand they pay rent or vacate the premises. The MC owns the building, but Luca has authority over who lives there. Combined with his intimidating presence, the family could decide the trouble isn't worth it and go to check out the MC's house.
I like that, and it would fit with the above. Luca could give them a day to decide if they want to move or pay rent (which they can't afford without using the university money). With only 24 hours to decide, they would go and check out the MC's house first to see if it's a viable alternative. The sisters are worried Luca will come back, so they decide to all go. Nova would call Luca in the evening and say they're moving out, and Luca gives them a few days to get their stuff.
In terms of your story, some things need to be telegraphed.
The MC is believing that he inherited all properties after Mike died, but he's never curious or anxious about suddenly owning THC and all of Mike's assets. A potential fix for this is the MC being anxious about meeting the board of THC, which is planned for the same day Luca arrives. The player can be informed of this when Nova asks about his plans to study business in university and later during their talk at night. (He has to be anxious about the responsibility.)
Luca arrives and informs them of his status as CEO, and that the MC's meeting has been cancelled as a result. This is also the point where you need to highlight Nova's law education. In Chapter 1 we're told she's interested in a job as a lawyer or legal aide, so she should provide some exposition about the legality of what's happening. The player has an implicit trust toward Nova because she's in the in-group, so it's easier to believe her even if the legalese isn't entirely real. Nova saying (and motivating) the legality is more convincing than "I called the family lawyer, and he said..."
My pleasure! I realize all of this can come across as negativity, but I really think the game shows promise. All the aspects of an interesting story are there. The drama between the siblings, becoming homeless and poor after a silver spoon upbringing... The racing vs. university and the manipulations behind the scenes... The biggest issues are with the visual parts of the storytelling and how players need to infer motivations. If you leave things up to interpretations, players who make the wrong assumptions will disconnect with what's happening in the story.
I'll send you the rest of my notes in DM soon, and I'm happy to serve as a sounding board if you need one. I think some minor adjustments to dialogue can improve the flow of events considerably, without a need for more renders or an entire rework.
TonyMurray
Conversation Conqueror
- Apr 8, 2024
- 6,588
- 12,531
- 774
You must be registered to see the links
Hey guys!
It’s been a while since I shared any development news, so I want to update you on the current state of the project.
To start with the most important part: the game is fully finished. I’ve run complete testing, fixed all bugs and minor issues. After that, I submitted the build to Steam for review. Some time later, they sent me a list of required adjustments — I applied everything, uploaded the updated version… and now I’m waiting again. The review process is dragging on for quite a while, and to be honest, it’s getting pretty frustrating.
There was also an amusing situation. I opened my Steam developer page one day and saw a notification: “Some screenshots and posters do not comply with Steam’s rules.” I double-checked everything, confirmed that all materials fully met the requirements, and replied to them. Four days later I received a message: “Yes, everything is fine, your page has been published.” What can I say… that reply absolutely killed me.
Now a bit about my post-release plans. If everything goes the way I expect, I’ll finally build myself a new PC. The current one will be turned into a render farm. My existing setup is barely handling the workload — a single scene can take 10–20 minutes just to open, and working like that is getting increasingly difficult.
While I’m waiting for Steam’s response, I’m not wasting time and have already started working on Part 3. I’ve prepared several scenes, gathered all the necessary materials for the chase sequence, and also refined the storyline a bit. I removed some questionable moments that could cause confusion, so the narrative now feels more coherent and logical.
Part 2 was probably the most challenging and experimental stage for me. Challenging — because during that time I started a full-time job, which took away about 80% of my time. Balancing work and development was tough. And experimental — because I was testing new lighting techniques and scene composition methods, trying to find that “golden middle” that would become my standard. And of course, the “best” idea was to try all of this specifically in Part 2 — I couldn’t have come up with anything smarter at the time
Sorry for the long stream of thoughts above — I understand that not everyone is interested in that level of detail. But it’s important for me to check in from time to time so you don’t lose sight of me or think the project is dead. I sometimes come across comments like, “Eh… this project has been abandoned for ages,” and I want to clear that up immediately. The project is alive, development is ongoing, and I haven’t gone anywhere.
Thank you to everyone who stays with me, follows the development, and supports the project. I’ll keep you updated!
PickerLewd
Engaged Member
- Dec 22, 2022
- 2,973
- 3,820
- 397
Well, let me tell you, my favorite of your renders are the previews with the MC's car in the fog . I'm not sure if it's morning or afternoon.
I love driving through autumnal landscapes, seeing fallen leaves and a light drizzle in the fog.
. I'm not sure if it's morning or afternoon.I love driving through autumnal landscapes, seeing fallen leaves and a light drizzle in the fog
.
TonyMurray
Conversation Conqueror
- Apr 8, 2024
- 6,588
- 12,531
- 774
You must be registered to see the links
Hey guys!
After gathering some feedback on the interface, I made a few adjustments and added several new screens. I’ll attach the screenshots below.
Scene replay works as follows: if you fail to get onto someone’s route or you miss a certain scene, you can always unlock it using points that you earn as you progress through the game (there’s no sandbox mode or anything like that). The same system also applies to special artworks.
The settings have become clearer and more user-friendly, and they have also been expanded with new features. You can now disable the custom cursor and switch back to the default one, adjust the in-game interface, and use a more convenient language switch, which will also be available on the main screen.
------
TonyMurray's note: Please check out the actual public post on Patreon linked above the image. There are more screenshots of the new design to scroll through there.
Also tagging: Quetzzz
Quetzzz
Well-Known Member
- Sep 29, 2023
- 1,077
- 1,615
- 287
Looks fantastic! Great job! I was already impressed with the design, but this is professional grade.
Thank you, I really appreciate it. My efforts were not in vain, just like your advice.
It looks amazing!
I can tell just from that screenshot... Nova will be my weak spot and I really hope I'll see 'more' of her..
I cannot wait.
PickerLewd
Engaged Member
- Dec 22, 2022
- 2,973
- 3,820
- 397
Three things to say:
1. The menu looks great, although I've never seen a system where you unlock things with points before. I think it's a good idea, as it means you can unlock things without having to play through so many different paths. However, I can already see myself getting more than enough points but having everything unlocked and not using the points, like in a typical RPG where you reach the final boss with all the consumables.
2. In image 6, where Mira says "I am Groot", F. Save and F. Load could be changed to Q. Save and Q. Load, as in other games. That might be a mistranslation.
3. Every time I see the name Hermione, I inevitably think of Harry Potter. I haven't seen that name anywhere else.
1. The menu looks great, although I've never seen a system where you unlock things with points before. I think it's a good idea, as it means you can unlock things without having to play through so many different paths. However, I can already see myself getting more than enough points but having everything unlocked and not using the points, like in a typical RPG where you reach the final boss with all the consumables
.2. In image 6, where Mira says "I am Groot", F. Save and F. Load could be changed to Q. Save and Q. Load, as in other games. That might be a mistranslation.
3. Every time I see the name Hermione, I inevitably think of Harry Potter
. I haven't seen that name anywhere else.