Toxic Attraction DonSilver #Cuckold 8muses forum

[Verisimilinude]

Curious question came up today. Someone made a comment that it was hard to follow the writing because there were "large gaps in the paragraphs", which I assumed was due to carving out the dialog from prose. Do you as a reader have a preference on this topic? Do you like long walls of text with dialog blended into it, or do you prefer the dialog separated (when appropriate), or somewhere in between?

 

[Minscnboo]

Curious question came up today. Someone made a comment that it was hard to follow the writing because there were "large gaps in the paragraphs", which I assumed was due to carving out the dialog from prose. Do you as a reader have a preference on this topic? Do you like long walls of text with dialog blended into it, or do you prefer the dialog separated (when appropriate), or somewhere in between?

From my perspective, being rather a grammar and English structure person, I like dialog separated from other writing. I see that done a lot in fanfiction.

 

[berylflame]

Curious question came up today. Someone made a comment that it was hard to follow the writing because there were "large gaps in the paragraphs", which I assumed was due to carving out the dialog from prose. Do you as a reader have a preference on this topic? Do you like long walls of text with dialog blended into it, or do you prefer the dialog separated (when appropriate), or somewhere in between?

Very interesting question. I like it separated for longer conversations. Gives the dialogue room to breathe. It becomes very monotonous reading though when the author forgets to set up scenes and reactions / or too much of it.

I can also appreciate dialogue within the prose for the more terse interaction. Ie some mundane convo but then some exposition going on in the background.

 

[Verisimilinude]

It becomes very monotonous reading though when the author forgets to set up scenes and reactions / or too much of it.

I agree, I was trying to read a story that had the potential to have a good plot but I just couldn't get thru the first quarter of dictation dialog. Scrolled down to see that was the format for the entire story and just skipped it. I personally like a blended approach, separated dialog and sometimes blended dialog/prose when it's appropriate.

I think DS does a pretty good job with his structure:

Dan sighed. "You're right. It's going to be hard enough just being away from you and the kids, but if this gets us back together faster then so be it."

A half smile spread onto Sarah's face. "It's going to be hard on all of us, but this is the best scenario in terms of our finances." The smile on her face grew wider and she locked eyes with Dan. "And it's not like this is forever. Once we've saved enough money and I can find a job in Chicago, the kids and I will be right there with you in a place of our own.

 

[polpolp]

long time not reeding this story, he get worse every chapter, Don silver just want to make it more longer to get more money, and all the hard cuck fan pay for it , its never gonna ending cause his other story doesnt have 10% of the succes of TA.
Probably gonna wait for the final chapter in 5 years, with Sarah get gangbang by 20 men and Dan swallow every bit of cum like the wimp cuck he became. Trully disapointed story ruin by a greedy Author

 

[Davidsays1]

I feel like all the pieces are in place for Dan to leave Sarah and have his happily ever after (introduced potential love interest, or potential new lester victim)
For Lester to get exactly what he wants, + more (mother, clients wives, former victim)
Lester to crumble/fall (tlg is looking for him)
Sarah to lose herself completely (getting her job back/falling for Lester)

His pace is just sooooo slow, but we're getting there

 

[srajat11rs]

Can anyone upload toxic attraction ch 32 final version please.

 

[swewx]

long time not reeding this story, he get worse every chapter, Don silver just want to make it more longer to get more money, and all the hard cuck fan pay for it , its never gonna ending cause his other story doesnt have 10% of the succes of TA.
Probably gonna wait for the final chapter in 5 years, with Sarah get gangbang by 20 men and Dan swallow every bit of cum like the wimp cuck he became. Trully disapointed story ruin by a greedy Author

That's what I am telling you all since about a year....
DS lost a good chance to make a real good story.
8 billion people in this world and 800 rule his mind. lol
The idea of supporting the artists have been altered to "I DO ANYTHING YOU WANT IF YOU PAY". There's a name from and old proffession for this kind of relationship.
In the meantime lets keep sharing great stories from really awesome authors.

 

[Minscnboo]

Swewx said: The idea of supporting the artists have been altered to "I DO ANYTHING YOU WANT IF YOU PAY". There's a name from and old proffession for this kind of relationship.

ROFLMAO. Honestly that is it! And its even funnier based on what this thread is all about!
I don't really blame him as far as a money thing goes. If they want to pay, then write away. Sure those of us who want story get frustrated. Can't really expect literary excellence in this particular genre.

 

[nonametba]

next months will not be able to contribute/share ! hope someone else can!
TA 32 final .

You must be registered to see the links

 

[Davidsays1]

next months will not be able to contribute/share ! hope someone else can!
TA 32 final .

You must be registered to see the links

And just like that I believe I'm done with Toxic attraction, listened to his fan base, and removed an entire scene from Dan in exchange for an entire extra scene with Lester and Sarah, more dialogue for them, and a couple extra lines for the mother?

 

[bbc4sluts2]

And just like that I believe I'm done with Toxic attraction, listened to his fan base, and removed an entire scene from Dan in exchange for an entire extra scene with Lester and Sarah, more dialogue for them, and a couple extra lines for the mother?

wait, whats wrong with that? I am just asking about your opinion not starting a fight.

Most of the complains about the recent chapter was that he is back to 1 step forward 2 step backward kinda writing. However, with how he modified the chapter he seemed to have corrected that. My main issue with the alpha is how Lester was there for Sarah when she was vulnerable and how their pillow talk seemed genuine, only for her to simply let Dan kick him out just like that the next day. Now it makes more sense for her to escort him out. Also, in the alpha we never got to see her considering Lester's offer. He offered, they fucked then Dan came and she spilled everything for him.

One thing I feel important in this chapter is the shift in Sarah's thinking. Initially, she was that strong corporate woman who wasnt above some teasing but knew who she was and took bullshit from no one. Now, shes not only considering prostituting herself to Richard for her job but actually planning it. She's not above using her body to achieve her goals anymore, or at least she has accepted that idea. We still need to see if Lester's new deal will change her thought process.

 

[Davidsays1]

wait, whats wrong with that? I am just asking about your opinion not starting a fight.

Most of the complains about the recent chapter was that he is back to 1 step forward 2 step backward kinda writing. However, with how he modified the chapter he seemed to have corrected that. My main issue with the alpha is how Lester was there for Sarah when she was vulnerable and how their pillow talk seemed genuine, only for her to simply let Dan kick him out just like that the next day. Now it makes more sense for her to escort him out. Also, in the alpha we never got to see her considering Lester's offer. He offered, they fucked then Dan came and she spilled everything for him.

One thing I feel important in this chapter is the shift in Sarah's thinking. Initially, she was that strong corporate woman who wasnt above some teasing but knew who she was and took bullshit from no one. Now, shes not only considering prostituting herself to Richard for her job but actually planning it. She's not above using her body to achieve her goals anymore, or at least she has accepted that idea. We still need to see if Lester's new deal will change her thought process.

Different opinions is all, I was completely for the dan scene where he kicked him out as it shows dan still has fight in him/wants to fight for his marriage, and shows Sarah still cared somewhat for her marriage/wasn't completely manipulated by Lester, so with these changes it negates that even further. The previous version set up lester debasing dan even further, or making him lose even more then he already has, due to being thrown out, now we don't have that setup unless Lester does it just to do it. This chapter kind of killed Dans character even more for me as he's made it known Lester isn't to be inside their home in Middleton so to just let Sarah handle it with no serious backlash doesn't sit right with me.

 

[adamblack144]

I loved the new version. The alpha version was just a rehash of the early chapter where Dan comes home and kicks Lester out. Instead, Sarah wanted to speak to him and then initiated a kiss with him. This is progress

I'm disappointed she's going to fuck Richard. More pointless sex scenes.

 

[srajat11rs]

next months will not be able to contribute/share ! hope someone else can!
TA 32 final .

You must be registered to see the links

Thanks man

 

[spicycocktail]

next months will not be able to contribute/share ! hope someone else can!
TA 32 final .

You must be registered to see the links

amazing, thank you! i'll see what i can do about next month. did you also happen to get undercover, chapter 2 alpha?

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

wait, whats wrong with that? I am just asking about your opinion not starting a fight.

Most of the complains about the recent chapter was that he is back to 1 step forward 2 step backward kinda writing. However, with how he modified the chapter he seemed to have corrected that. My main issue with the alpha is how Lester was there for Sarah when she was vulnerable and how their pillow talk seemed genuine, only for her to simply let Dan kick him out just like that the next day. Now it makes more sense for her to escort him out. Also, in the alpha we never got to see her considering Lester's offer. He offered, they fucked then Dan came and she spilled everything for him.

One thing I feel important in this chapter is the shift in Sarah's thinking. Initially, she was that strong corporate woman who wasnt above some teasing but knew who she was and took bullshit from no one. Now, shes not only considering prostituting herself to Richard for her job but actually planning it. She's not above using her body to achieve her goals anymore, or at least she has accepted that idea. We still need to see if Lester's new deal will change her thought process.

I agree on the idea of Dan not kicking Lester out, like I had said in a post for Alpha chapter. I was very happy to see that, including the part where he told her that he was forever going to be on the outside and that was why he wanted something for helping them. Honestly, since I believe Don has been headed this way for months, I will say it, I hope Lester's want is the full blown affair between her and him, leaving Dan out as she betrays her husband and their marriage. She finally agrees this time and then tells Lester that she wants to help him "fuck with Dan". It has always been listed as a dark story anyway, finally let the lights go out.

 

[Verisimilinude]

First, thanks nonametba it's rough times out there for all of us.

I don't think it added or took away too much from the alpha concept with the exception of one major plot point*. At this stage I'm so fed up with Dan the character (mind you not the husband role, just the character) that I'm starting to pinch the bridge of my nose. So the less POV we have of him the better. Psiber@mauvais you called it. The ending changed so that Sarah walked Lester out.

*Now let's discuss the turd in the room. I’ll leave space in my comments for the ending to be a red herring, but if this is truly where the story is headed, then I can no longer defend DS. I would have to agree with those who argue this isn’t DS’s work anymore--it’s Patreon fanfiction typed up by DS.

To reduce Sarah--once a proud, intelligent, and resourceful character on a journey of sexual self-discovery--into a cardboard-cutout bimbo prostitute would be a travesty. The ending contradicts everything established up to that point in both the series and this particular chapter. We’ve seen a woman under stress grappling with complex emotions, weighing impossible choices that would impact her children, marriage, and future. Then, in a single paragraph, all that growth is discarded as she suddenly decides prostitution is the way to save her job.

To dangle this idea as a foil or obstacle for Lester, sure--it has narrative value. But the Sarah who evolved over this series would never condone such a choice. She’s too shrewd to ignore the ramifications; she’s already lived through similar mistakes, which is why she and Dan are in this situation to begin with. She’s willing to come clean with Dan and refuse Lester’s secret money (a known bad choice), and instead she’ll jeopardize all those things she's trying to protect by prostituting herself to Richard (an unknown bad choice)? No. It’s neither logical nor consistent with her character’s established maturity and motivations. And I just don't buy it.

I've always tried to be objective, because I don't know the full scope of the story or what the ending is. But it's becoming increasingly more difficult to deny those who are crying foul.

 

[john_doe6711]

First, thanks nonametba it's rough times out there for all of us.

I don't think it added or took away too much from the alpha concept with the exception of one major plot point*. At this stage I'm so fed up with Dan the character (mind you not the husband role, just the character) that I'm starting to pinch the bridge of my nose. So the less POV we have of him the better. Psiber@mauvais you called it. The ending changed so that Sarah walked Lester out.

*Now let's discuss the turd in the room. I’ll leave space in my comments for the ending to be a red herring, but if this is truly where the story is headed, then I can no longer defend DS. I would have to agree with those who argue this isn’t DS’s work anymore--it’s Patreon fanfiction typed up by DS.

To reduce Sarah--once a proud, intelligent, and resourceful character on a journey of sexual self-discovery--into a cardboard-cutout bimbo prostitute would be a travesty. The ending contradicts everything established up to that point in both the series and this particular chapter. We’ve seen a woman under stress grappling with complex emotions, weighing impossible choices that would impact her children, marriage, and future. Then, in a single paragraph, all that growth is discarded as she suddenly decides prostitution is the way to save her job.

To dangle this idea as a foil or obstacle for Lester, sure--it has narrative value. But the Sarah who evolved over this series would never condone such a choice. She’s too shrewd to ignore the ramifications; she’s already lived through similar mistakes, which is why she and Dan are in this situation to begin with. She’s willing to come clean with Dan and refuse Lester’s secret money (a known bad choice), and instead she’ll jeopardize all those things she's trying to protect by prostituting herself to Richard (an unknown bad choice)? No. It’s neither logical nor consistent with her character’s established maturity and motivations. And I just don't buy it.

I've always tried to be objective, because I don't know the full scope of the story or what the ending is. But it's becoming increasingly more difficult to deny those who are crying foul.

..but Sarah knew she had to fix her mistake...her trying to fix a big mistake with an even bigger one is just...she's probably thinking desperate times calls for..

 

[Verisimilinude]

..but Sarah knew she had to fix her mistake...her trying to fix a big mistake with an even bigger one is just...she's probably thinking desperate times calls for..

Okay, hypothetical scenario: You haven’t eaten in two weeks. Money’s tight—what little you had, you gambled away, chasing a big win that never came. Now you’re starving, and your only two options are:

A questionable coworker—not quite a friend, sometimes a jerk, sometimes decent. He’s bought you a meal before. Now he’s offering a home-cooked dinner.

A sketchy food truck where the owner might give you leftovers at closing. Problem is, you’ve seen his ‘pigsty kitchen.’ Who knows what’s in that mystery meat he calls a sloppy joe.

Which option would you choose to fix your hunger problem?