Minscnboo
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On the Earth Alliance space station Babylon 69, Sarah discovers alien physiology.
Remember Centauri have 6!
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Toxic Attraction DonSilver #Cuckold 8muses forum
- Thread starter adam adm
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Remember Centauri have 6!
AgainI typically don't comment the story. In one way or the other even if I don't agree/like the way story goes/stalls I normally get some good part ... but this chapter ... it just feels like what someone said above ... someway it's rushed and even the sex scenes ... for some reason feels like weren't written by the same person that wrote other chapters. I can't peek what it was specificallybut something feels off. But this is just my 2 cents! thanks for the ones that can/keep sharing!
No..Pretty sure he hasn't written anything since Alpha 32. The rewrite of ending of 32 honestly made no sense
Don't remember any rewrite, like this in other chapters.. The Richard scene is a throw awa.y..Too many people witnessed
The Otis scene..And again threats on the kid's...This Chapter 33 seems to me not Don Silver writing..The rewrite of 32 and this post is someone else's story
DarkStutzel
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- May 23, 2017
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I've read some of his work. I liked the black belt. I just have to read some chapters 4 to 9 and 3 to 18. I've already read them. I'm team Jacob, I hope I didn't screw him over, because he doesn't seem like a pervert. He confronted Carlos even though he's a white belt. He was a man to say he did it on purpose. He told the truth, the story will lose a lot of quality. Jacob is a nerd, but he has his own personality and characteristics. Ashley sided with Carlos even knowing that Carlos was bad-natured and hurt him. She didn't go home with him to be with her lover. At the beginning of the story, she already gave up on the marriage; the beginning was clear. May he move on, have his family, and she have her own life. Her leaving her will even improve her life. And apparently, she won't be the first woman he's done this to, if he doesn't have other students besides her.
This chapter is probably the worst one written so far. Normally I can find some logic in how characters behave, but this chapter was just plain awful.
The only good thing about the pointless plot of Sarah fucking Richard was that it ended quickly. It only showed that Sarah is becoming a dumb bimbo, which is not what her character is supposed to be.
But the worst part of this chapter was the second part, which contradicted Lester's character as well. The whole throuple nonsense is just a bad attempt to rehash what happened between chapters 11-20, which is when TA was at its peak. After spending so much time on the pregnancy pills plot, Lester thinking about not using it is just plain stupid, the complete opposite of what Lester is as a character.
Like I said after last chapter, it's clear that don isn't writing what he originally wanted. It's clear that he's catering to the whims of some high paying customers, which honestly is fine, it's a financial decision. But sadly it has ruined a story which had potential to be something great.
The only good thing about the pointless plot of Sarah fucking Richard was that it ended quickly. It only showed that Sarah is becoming a dumb bimbo, which is not what her character is supposed to be.
But the worst part of this chapter was the second part, which contradicted Lester's character as well. The whole throuple nonsense is just a bad attempt to rehash what happened between chapters 11-20, which is when TA was at its peak. After spending so much time on the pregnancy pills plot, Lester thinking about not using it is just plain stupid, the complete opposite of what Lester is as a character.
Like I said after last chapter, it's clear that don isn't writing what he originally wanted. It's clear that he's catering to the whims of some high paying customers, which honestly is fine, it's a financial decision. But sadly it has ruined a story which had potential to be something great.
Verisimilinude
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Question....why does every male in this series have a big dick and everyone is bigger than Dan...and Lester has a super dick because no one is bigger than him or can perform like he does no matter how much Sarah enjoys it...and wouldn't it be funny if at the last chapter one of them wakes up and realizes it was just a dream..
I get the logic of lester making things challenging for himself by not using fake pills, but the problem is Sarah won't willingly agree to get knocked up, no matter how stupid she's been acting lately. If by some miracle she did, Dan would never accept it. He enjoys watching her with other men, but he won't go along with Sarah willingly getting knocked up by Lester. Lester switching birth control and knocking Sarah up by " accident" is more in line with everything he's done so far. Sabotaging and making things look like an accident is his main MO.
The way I see it, Sarah already has feelings for Lester. When he does knock her up eventually by "accident" , she'll definitely consider keeping the baby. Like Lester said last chapter " accidents happen". Once he's thinks that Sarah is in love with him, he'll switch the pills and get her pregnant. Till then, this throuple shit will go on, where Sarah will be fucking every one Lester tells her to. Don has simply put the pills thing on hold just for that purpose.
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Minscnboo
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I postulate that someone else wrote Ch 33. Its similar in structure with the other 2 times I recall this happening. DS may have some influence but it offers a path he may or may not go down. I have suspicions that the longer the story goes, the more deviant it gets. The scene with Richard made no sense. She did not like him caressing her shoulders in their first meeting and then the dressing down he gave her later. DS portrayed Sarah (and Dan) as intelligent professionals. She would not whore herself out for a job, especially since Lester is offering to assist. Perhaps another job, or one in Chicago?
The biggest factor rare the kids. I am uncomfortable with their inclusion, and see it attempts to add suspense and danger to the liaisons.Inclusion of the mother has been tossed around for some time. I'm on the fence with it.
Once the final version is released we'll be able to see how it is cleaned up, scrapped, etc.
The biggest factor rare the kids. I am uncomfortable with their inclusion, and see it attempts to add suspense and danger to the liaisons.Inclusion of the mother has been tossed around for some time. I'm on the fence with it.
Once the final version is released we'll be able to see how it is cleaned up, scrapped, etc.
Minbari: "There is a hole in your mind, Dan...and Jesse lives there RENT FREE!!"
I agree with you alot minscnboo on the part with the kids...unnecessary....also every chapter since the dinner with the parents Renee has been mentioned in some form or fashion...veris
I agree with you on the part of the kids...unnecessary...and Veris spoke about the chapters length and it was too short for his usual work...maybe he's working on NE or the unnamed undercover story but this was definitely not his handy work...I get why Sarah is acting out of character...written any other way she won't be as susceptible to Lester's shenanigans...maybe in 2089 our grandkids reading the story will find out...
And if anyone can tell me if Zane and Claire finally had sex that would be awesome...this is taking even longer than dan growing a backbone..
Verisimilinude
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The more I think about it the more it feels less like an alpha and a first rough draft. It's difficult for me to accept that DS is letting someone else write his stories (I'm not saying it can't or hasn't happen), I just can't wrap my mind around why anyone with a creative spirit would want to do that. I can't speak for all creatives but I have a compulsion to be in control of the stuff I work on for me, borderline obsessive about it. Now as a collaboration that's a different story and mindset you go into it knowing you're sharing the control.
I can appreciate your point of view on this topic, but I suggest any premise that is so brittle it can only be written a certain way isn't really a good premise. The issue with Sarah's diminished mental capacity (in regards to Lester) isn't a bad thing in itself, it's the fact that it "seems" to happen at the drop of a hat and it happens after she's already been slapped in the face with it in a prior scene/chapter. What's missing is the slow decline.
I struggle with this concept the more I think about it. There is the issue that; I think we are all so used to stories being 1-10 pages long, or series that max out at 5-10 chapters, so we expect a quick pace and faster resolution. So maybe it's hard to keep track of all of Sarah's changes over the course of 33 chapters.
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So maybe it's not too far fetched that she's flipped the script and given in totally to the situation mentally and physically.
I see what your saying about him not letting someone else write his story...but what this person was helping him in writing behind the scenes...as you rightfully said it's an alpha draft so Don can always clean it up and make it a little better...your a writer so you know hard it maybe gets sometimes to get stuff out on time...
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Man!!! It seems you copied and pasted the same comments I made about a year ago. lol
I couldn't agree more!
Hello all. Lurked here on and off for several months, and wanted to share a few thoughts about dear Don (remember when he made an account and was demanding to know people's patreon handles? LOL!).
Personally, i think the reason for the increased discontent with TA is the same reason I believe Detestable Liasons is DS' best story (and why I actually think the Undercover one will be his next hit, rather than NE). Put simply, Sarah is no longer a respectable character with any cognizance of being corrupted; honestly, I cannot say for certain she ever was. From the beginning - and please correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't read the early chapters in like, a year-plus - Sarah was excited by Lester, even when repelled by him. Lots of orgasms, the size-queen fetish, the lack of willpower. It makes for a dull read, especially if you consider TA as a body of work, as opposed to the episodic format with which it was released.
And make no mistake, Sarah is the main character. The husband.... so forgettable i legit cannot remember his name.... never exercises any impact on the plot. So we are left with the ugly-bastard NTR trope, with a Mary Sue/Gary Stu as the ugly bastard. In other words, an accurate summary of TA could be written as follows:
"Toxic Attraction is the story of a beautiful married professional who is totally and completely seduced in a matter of weeks by a hideous, obese MENSA-level genius that inexplicably lives in a crappy apartment in Chicago despite being so super-smart and capable he can access unlimited funds and influence."
Would you read that if I pitched it as a 'realistic' dark NTR fic?
Contrast Sarah with the female main character in Detestable Liasons. There, our FMC is capable, professional. She is determined to be a success and defeat her rival. She has ambition. She defies her rival even after he defeats her. She reacts with believable emotion. Her narrative trajectory in just 4 (5?) chapters is far more realistic than Sarah's is after a quarter million words. Because of her capability, this FMC's corruption is far more exciting because there is *room for her to fall*.
Compare that to TA where it takes Lester all of 4 or 5 chapters to get Sarah to blow his DnD buddy. Yawn.
Anyway, that's my take. Naturally, opinions are subjective and vary.
Personally, i think the reason for the increased discontent with TA is the same reason I believe Detestable Liasons is DS' best story (and why I actually think the Undercover one will be his next hit, rather than NE). Put simply, Sarah is no longer a respectable character with any cognizance of being corrupted; honestly, I cannot say for certain she ever was. From the beginning - and please correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't read the early chapters in like, a year-plus - Sarah was excited by Lester, even when repelled by him. Lots of orgasms, the size-queen fetish, the lack of willpower. It makes for a dull read, especially if you consider TA as a body of work, as opposed to the episodic format with which it was released.
And make no mistake, Sarah is the main character. The husband.... so forgettable i legit cannot remember his name.... never exercises any impact on the plot. So we are left with the ugly-bastard NTR trope, with a Mary Sue/Gary Stu as the ugly bastard. In other words, an accurate summary of TA could be written as follows:
"Toxic Attraction is the story of a beautiful married professional who is totally and completely seduced in a matter of weeks by a hideous, obese MENSA-level genius that inexplicably lives in a crappy apartment in Chicago despite being so super-smart and capable he can access unlimited funds and influence."
Would you read that if I pitched it as a 'realistic' dark NTR fic?
Contrast Sarah with the female main character in Detestable Liasons. There, our FMC is capable, professional. She is determined to be a success and defeat her rival. She has ambition. She defies her rival even after he defeats her. She reacts with believable emotion. Her narrative trajectory in just 4 (5?) chapters is far more realistic than Sarah's is after a quarter million words. Because of her capability, this FMC's corruption is far more exciting because there is *room for her to fall*.
Compare that to TA where it takes Lester all of 4 or 5 chapters to get Sarah to blow his DnD buddy. Yawn.
Anyway, that's my take. Naturally, opinions are subjective and vary.
I know I am late, bt she was not about to be anything. She was the hospital director until Richard came in and fired all the old staff a few at a time and if not for Lester, he would have fired Sarah too, but Richard liked him and he made some kind of deal with him, lost in the annals of too many sub-plots so not even the author can keep up with them. Sarah was bucked way down but, lucky for Lester's big cock, she accepted the demotion and working under Lester.
It was incredibly stupid for her to do anything with Dick, you are right about that.The HR person already did that to her and she did not learn. I think that Don is meaning it as a humbling for Sarah so she knows that her pussy won't save her, but Lester will.
Honestly, I kept hoping that she would talk to Lester before she did it, as she is seeing him differently now, and he would have stopped her and they would have fucked all day at his hotel room, not telling Dan and finally shifting into affair mode.
I also don't think it was as big a return to the beginning as most do, I think it is more like Lester using his new position to pull Sarah over to his side, put Dan in his so-called place, push Sarah into accepting that as well and have her help Lester to constantly demoralize her husband as she starts seeing him as weaker and Lester as stronger. Finally. the end of the marriage when Sarah has to announce that she and Lester are having a child.
But, I could be wrong, its just my opinion.
I like one bully, one victim, and one betrayal. My problem with this story is that, first of all, he leaves nothing for later, no suspense or surprise or shock. Wait to expose the betrayals until the end, besides the wife's as she is the story. Having everyone in the story loving the bully and incredibly apathetic to the husband is not the best way to present a story.
Also, my issue with it is that as we go on, we discover that the husband actually has no-one. Everyone has turned on him, even the other husbands, because they, apparently love being cucks. He has no support at all and thats not betrayal, that's torture and to uncomfortable for me to read. Even one person would be someone, so that he is not the only moon circling Neptune.
Leah, would have been better portrayed, taking it that everything you are saying about her is true, with her meeting with the husband, even though he is incredibly stupid to hand anyone blackmail evidence, period. If the one meeting had been it and the betrayal had been exposed by her standing with everyone else who hates him, and said I hate you too, I've been helping to fuck you over. And it would be hard to convince me that any of them have anything less than hate and/or derision and/or contempt with regard to him. You don't do this much damage to someone with a laugh in your heart and well-meaning kindness.
Leah thinks to herself that he will either be a cuck or a divorced man by the end of the whole thing and neither thing really bothered her too much. Personally, I would love to see this ending, as I am so tired of these stories that stack up everything against the husband and he absolutely no hope at all as the rest of the world wants his failure in life:
They are all on Zack's office, the wife sucks Zack's cock in front of her husband, while telling him that he will never touch another pussy in his life because she is only fucking this guy from now on and she won't allow a divorce. Zack tells her that he will pay for a lawyer to stop the husband from leaving her as every good wife deserves to have a cuck in her life. The people in the husbands life stand around, laughing at him, telling him that Zack is so much a better man than her is. The husband reaches into his jacket pocket pulls out a pistol, sticks it in his mouth and pulls the trigger, forever warping the psyches of everyone who everyone who ever crossed him, with regards to this episode, in his life. Now they have that scene to forever have burnt into their heads.
I know that is pretty awful, I just cannot state how fervently I am against stories that just don't fuck over the husband, but do it so completely that there is no safety net for him, not even someone to cry in a beer with, they all just did six months of work with the guy with the big dick to devastatingly fuck over the world of someone who did nothing to hurt any of them.
Normally, I like these stories but there are some that push it too far and make it uncomfortable to read. Hell, I am even glad Dan in TA may have someone on DC for him, someone to support him, every person needs at least one person for that, who likes the person well enough that they would never be a part of that kind of thing.