Toxic Attraction DonSilver #Cuckold 8muses forum

[Verisimilinude]

and Veris spoke about the chapters length and it was too short for his usual work...maybe he's working on NE or the unnamed undercover story but this was definitely not his handy work

The more I think about it the more it feels less like an alpha and a first rough draft. It's difficult for me to accept that DS is letting someone else write his stories (I'm not saying it can't or hasn't happen), I just can't wrap my mind around why anyone with a creative spirit would want to do that. I can't speak for all creatives but I have a compulsion to be in control of the stuff I work on for me, borderline obsessive about it. Now as a collaboration that's a different story and mindset you go into it knowing you're sharing the control.

I get why Sarah is acting out of character...written any other way she won't be as susceptible to Lester's shenanigans...

I can appreciate your point of view on this topic, but I suggest any premise that is so brittle it can only be written a certain way isn't really a good premise. The issue with Sarah's diminished mental capacity (in regards to Lester) isn't a bad thing in itself, it's the fact that it "seems" to happen at the drop of a hat and it happens after she's already been slapped in the face with it in a prior scene/chapter. What's missing is the slow decline.

I struggle with this concept the more I think about it. There is the issue that; I think we are all so used to stories being 1-10 pages long, or series that max out at 5-10 chapters, so we expect a quick pace and faster resolution. So maybe it's hard to keep track of all of Sarah's changes over the course of 33 chapters.

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So maybe it's not too far fetched that she's flipped the script and given in totally to the situation mentally and physically.

 

[john_doe6711]

The more I think about it the more it feels less like an alpha and a first rough draft. It's difficult for me to accept that DS is letting someone else write his stories (I'm not saying it can't or hasn't happen), I just can't wrap my mind around why anyone with a creative spirit would want to do that. I can't speak for all creatives but I have a compulsion to be in control of the stuff I work on for me, borderline obsessive about it. Now as a collaboration that's a different story and mindset you go into it knowing you're sharing the control.


I can appreciate your point of view on this topic, but I suggest any premise that is so brittle it can only be written a certain way isn't really a good premise. The issue with Sarah's diminished mental capacity (in regards to Lester) isn't a bad thing in itself, it's the fact that it "seems" to happen at the drop of a hat and it happens after she's already been slapped in the face with it in a prior scene/chapter. What's missing is the slow decline.

I struggle with this concept the more I think about it. There is the issue that; I think we are all so used to stories being 1-10 pages long, or series that max out at 5-10 chapters, so we expect a quick pace and faster resolution. So maybe it's hard to keep track of all of Sarah's changes over the course of 33 chapters.

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So maybe it's not too far fetched that she's flipped the script and given in totally to the situation mentally and physically.

I see what your saying about him not letting someone else write his story...but what this person was helping him in writing behind the scenes...as you rightfully said it's an alpha draft so Don can always clean it up and make it a little better...your a writer so you know hard it maybe gets sometimes to get stuff out on time...

 

[maxx229]

DOWN CAN YOU RE UP PLEASE

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[swewx]

This chapter is probably the worst one written so far. Normally I can find some logic in how characters behave, but this chapter was just plain awful.
The only good thing about the pointless plot of Sarah fucking Richard was that it ended quickly. It only showed that Sarah is becoming a dumb bimbo, which is not what her character is supposed to be.

But the worst part of this chapter was the second part, which contradicted Lester's character as well. The whole throuple nonsense is just a bad attempt to rehash what happened between chapters 11-20, which is when TA was at its peak. After spending so much time on the pregnancy pills plot, Lester thinking about not using it is just plain stupid, the complete opposite of what Lester is as a character.

Like I said after last chapter, it's clear that don isn't writing what he originally wanted. It's clear that he's catering to the whims of some high paying customers, which honestly is fine, it's a financial decision. But sadly it has ruined a story which had potential to be something great.

Man!!! It seems you copied and pasted the same comments I made about a year ago. lol
I couldn't agree more!

 

[fh321]

Hello all. Lurked here on and off for several months, and wanted to share a few thoughts about dear Don (remember when he made an account and was demanding to know people's patreon handles? LOL!).

Personally, i think the reason for the increased discontent with TA is the same reason I believe Detestable Liasons is DS' best story (and why I actually think the Undercover one will be his next hit, rather than NE). Put simply, Sarah is no longer a respectable character with any cognizance of being corrupted; honestly, I cannot say for certain she ever was. From the beginning - and please correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't read the early chapters in like, a year-plus - Sarah was excited by Lester, even when repelled by him. Lots of orgasms, the size-queen fetish, the lack of willpower. It makes for a dull read, especially if you consider TA as a body of work, as opposed to the episodic format with which it was released.

And make no mistake, Sarah is the main character. The husband.... so forgettable i legit cannot remember his name.... never exercises any impact on the plot. So we are left with the ugly-bastard NTR trope, with a Mary Sue/Gary Stu as the ugly bastard. In other words, an accurate summary of TA could be written as follows:
"Toxic Attraction is the story of a beautiful married professional who is totally and completely seduced in a matter of weeks by a hideous, obese MENSA-level genius that inexplicably lives in a crappy apartment in Chicago despite being so super-smart and capable he can access unlimited funds and influence."

Would you read that if I pitched it as a 'realistic' dark NTR fic?

Contrast Sarah with the female main character in Detestable Liasons. There, our FMC is capable, professional. She is determined to be a success and defeat her rival. She has ambition. She defies her rival even after he defeats her. She reacts with believable emotion. Her narrative trajectory in just 4 (5?) chapters is far more realistic than Sarah's is after a quarter million words. Because of her capability, this FMC's corruption is far more exciting because there is *room for her to fall*.

Compare that to TA where it takes Lester all of 4 or 5 chapters to get Sarah to blow his DnD buddy. Yawn.

Anyway, that's my take. Naturally, opinions are subjective and vary.

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

So the woman who was about to become the chief exec or whatever at the hospital is either so stupid or so cock-drunk that she didn't think to get a guaranteed job out of Richard first...? this story really has gone so far beyond being a joke.

I know I am late, bt she was not about to be anything. She was the hospital director until Richard came in and fired all the old staff a few at a time and if not for Lester, he would have fired Sarah too, but Richard liked him and he made some kind of deal with him, lost in the annals of too many sub-plots so not even the author can keep up with them. Sarah was bucked way down but, lucky for Lester's big cock, she accepted the demotion and working under Lester.

It was incredibly stupid for her to do anything with Dick, you are right about that.The HR person already did that to her and she did not learn. I think that Don is meaning it as a humbling for Sarah so she knows that her pussy won't save her, but Lester will.
Honestly, I kept hoping that she would talk to Lester before she did it, as she is seeing him differently now, and he would have stopped her and they would have fucked all day at his hotel room, not telling Dan and finally shifting into affair mode.

I also don't think it was as big a return to the beginning as most do, I think it is more like Lester using his new position to pull Sarah over to his side, put Dan in his so-called place, push Sarah into accepting that as well and have her help Lester to constantly demoralize her husband as she starts seeing him as weaker and Lester as stronger. Finally. the end of the marriage when Sarah has to announce that she and Lester are having a child.

But, I could be wrong, its just my opinion.

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

I'm kinda surprised Psiber. I would have thought this was right up your alley, since you like the bully kink, unless you mean the story crafting. From my perspective, storywise this is on the husband, Leah isn't his pal, he just recently reconnected with her since their college days. Leah is totally acting within the goals/motivations that she's earned over the story. The husband is the idiot here for thinking that she would act differently.

However there is the whole bigger picture thing: this is experimental writing, since the subs are the one's actually making choices about the direction of the story. I mean I commend them for giving the subs a way to achieve the parasocial relationship with the author without wrecking his other works.

I like one bully, one victim, and one betrayal. My problem with this story is that, first of all, he leaves nothing for later, no suspense or surprise or shock. Wait to expose the betrayals until the end, besides the wife's as she is the story. Having everyone in the story loving the bully and incredibly apathetic to the husband is not the best way to present a story.

Also, my issue with it is that as we go on, we discover that the husband actually has no-one. Everyone has turned on him, even the other husbands, because they, apparently love being cucks. He has no support at all and thats not betrayal, that's torture and to uncomfortable for me to read. Even one person would be someone, so that he is not the only moon circling Neptune.

Leah, would have been better portrayed, taking it that everything you are saying about her is true, with her meeting with the husband, even though he is incredibly stupid to hand anyone blackmail evidence, period. If the one meeting had been it and the betrayal had been exposed by her standing with everyone else who hates him, and said I hate you too, I've been helping to fuck you over. And it would be hard to convince me that any of them have anything less than hate and/or derision and/or contempt with regard to him. You don't do this much damage to someone with a laugh in your heart and well-meaning kindness.

Leah thinks to herself that he will either be a cuck or a divorced man by the end of the whole thing and neither thing really bothered her too much. Personally, I would love to see this ending, as I am so tired of these stories that stack up everything against the husband and he absolutely no hope at all as the rest of the world wants his failure in life:

They are all on Zack's office, the wife sucks Zack's cock in front of her husband, while telling him that he will never touch another pussy in his life because she is only fucking this guy from now on and she won't allow a divorce. Zack tells her that he will pay for a lawyer to stop the husband from leaving her as every good wife deserves to have a cuck in her life. The people in the husbands life stand around, laughing at him, telling him that Zack is so much a better man than her is. The husband reaches into his jacket pocket pulls out a pistol, sticks it in his mouth and pulls the trigger, forever warping the psyches of everyone who everyone who ever crossed him, with regards to this episode, in his life. Now they have that scene to forever have burnt into their heads.

I know that is pretty awful, I just cannot state how fervently I am against stories that just don't fuck over the husband, but do it so completely that there is no safety net for him, not even someone to cry in a beer with, they all just did six months of work with the guy with the big dick to devastatingly fuck over the world of someone who did nothing to hurt any of them.

Normally, I like these stories but there are some that push it too far and make it uncomfortable to read. Hell, I am even glad Dan in TA may have someone on DC for him, someone to support him, every person needs at least one person for that, who likes the person well enough that they would never be a part of that kind of thing.

 

[Verisimilinude]

I like one bully, one victim, and one betrayal. My problem with this story is that, first of all, he leaves nothing for later, no suspense or surprise or shock. Wait to expose the betrayals until the end, besides the wife's as she is the story. Having everyone in the story loving the bully and incredibly apathetic to the husband is not the best way to present a story.

Also, my issue with it is that as we go on, we discover that the husband actually has no-one. Everyone has turned on him, even the other husbands, because they, apparently love being cucks. He has no support at all and thats not betrayal, that's torture and to uncomfortable for me to read. Even one person would be someone, so that he is not the only moon circling Neptune.

Leah, would have been better portrayed, taking it that everything you are saying about her is true, with her meeting with the husband, even though he is incredibly stupid to hand anyone blackmail evidence, period. If the one meeting had been it and the betrayal had been exposed by her standing with everyone else who hates him, and said I hate you too, I've been helping to fuck you over. And it would be hard to convince me that any of them have anything less than hate and/or derision and/or contempt with regard to him. You don't do this much damage to someone with a laugh in your heart and well-meaning kindness.

Leah thinks to herself that he will either be a cuck or a divorced man by the end of the whole thing and neither thing really bothered her too much. Personally, I would love to see this ending, as I am so tired of these stories that stack up everything against the husband and he absolutely no hope at all as the rest of the world wants his failure in life:

They are all on Zack's office, the wife sucks Zack's cock in front of her husband, while telling him that he will never touch another pussy in his life because she is only fucking this guy from now on and she won't allow a divorce. Zack tells her that he will pay for a lawyer to stop the husband from leaving her as every good wife deserves to have a cuck in her life. The people in the husbands life stand around, laughing at him, telling him that Zack is so much a better man than her is. The husband reaches into his jacket pocket pulls out a pistol, sticks it in his mouth and pulls the trigger, forever warping the psyches of everyone who everyone who ever crossed him, with regards to this episode, in his life. Now they have that scene to forever have burnt into their heads.

I know that is pretty awful, I just cannot state how fervently I am against stories that just don't fuck over the husband, but do it so completely that there is no safety net for him, not even someone to cry in a beer with, they all just did six months of work with the guy with the big dick to devastatingly fuck over the world of someone who did nothing to hurt any of them.

Normally, I like these stories but there are some that push it too far and make it uncomfortable to read. Hell, I am even glad Dan in TA may have someone on DC for him, someone to support him, every person needs at least one person for that, who likes the person well enough that they would never be a part of that kind of thing.

Big picture I see your points and they are valid. I think it's one thing if the husband wants that lifestyle, but it is odd how much of trend "cucking with humiliation" has become. I makes me wonder if it's art imitating life, or more likely art imitating other art in a vicious cycle.

I was simply responding to the concept of Leah doing exactly what her character motivations called for. She was written with the pysche of someone who would treat the husband that way (she was willing to do it to her own husband so why not someone else's) and so her behavior rings true to me (mind you I'm not saying it's morally right, just feels believable). I give Rabble credit for writing the "cucking" scene in a new way (at least I've never seen it portrayed this way before), usually it's the wife who does the "cucking" so to see it happen via another woman was different.

 

[poodles]

is there a VN for Toxic Attraction by any chance?

 

[Verisimilinude]

your a writer so you know hard it maybe gets sometimes to get stuff out on time...

You are correct it's a difficult challenge to write at the pace of the reader's voracious appetite but that doesn't mean I personally would relinquish control to another person. I guess it's possible, but it's been my experience that people don't read a story due to the premise only, they read it because they like how the author writes the story. I think we can all agree that DS writes some of the best sex scenes in erotica, but I wouldn't read a story written by someone else just because DS was writing all of the sex scenes.

 

[DarkStutzel]

I like one bully, one victim, and one betrayal. My problem with this story is that, first of all, he leaves nothing for later, no suspense or surprise or shock. Wait to expose the betrayals until the end, besides the wife's as she is the story. Having everyone in the story loving the bully and incredibly apathetic to the husband is not the best way to present a story.

Also, my issue with it is that as we go on, we discover that the husband actually has no-one. Everyone has turned on him, even the other husbands, because they, apparently love being cucks. He has no support at all and thats not betrayal, that's torture and to uncomfortable for me to read. Even one person would be someone, so that he is not the only moon circling Neptune.

Leah, would have been better portrayed, taking it that everything you are saying about her is true, with her meeting with the husband, even though he is incredibly stupid to hand anyone blackmail evidence, period. If the one meeting had been it and the betrayal had been exposed by her standing with everyone else who hates him, and said I hate you too, I've been helping to fuck you over. And it would be hard to convince me that any of them have anything less than hate and/or derision and/or contempt with regard to him. You don't do this much damage to someone with a laugh in your heart and well-meaning kindness.

Leah thinks to herself that he will either be a cuck or a divorced man by the end of the whole thing and neither thing really bothered her too much. Personally, I would love to see this ending, as I am so tired of these stories that stack up everything against the husband and he absolutely no hope at all as the rest of the world wants his failure in life:

They are all on Zack's office, the wife sucks Zack's cock in front of her husband, while telling him that he will never touch another pussy in his life because she is only fucking this guy from now on and she won't allow a divorce. Zack tells her that he will pay for a lawyer to stop the husband from leaving her as every good wife deserves to have a cuck in her life. The people in the husbands life stand around, laughing at him, telling him that Zack is so much a better man than her is. The husband reaches into his jacket pocket pulls out a pistol, sticks it in his mouth and pulls the trigger, forever warping the psyches of everyone who everyone who ever crossed him, with regards to this episode, in his life. Now they have that scene to forever have burnt into their heads.

I know that is pretty awful, I just cannot state how fervently I am against stories that just don't fuck over the husband, but do it so completely that there is no safety net for him, not even someone to cry in a beer with, they all just did six months of work with the guy with the big dick to devastatingly fuck over the world of someone who did nothing to hurt any of them.

Normally, I like these stories but there are some that push it too far and make it uncomfortable to read. Hell, I am even glad Dan in TA may have someone on DC for him, someone to support him, every person needs at least one person for that, who likes the person well enough that they would never be a part of that kind of thing.

That's why I'm enjoying the story (The Black Belt Affair by Eddie Wilder). Ashley is a beautiful slut, she deceives her husband. Jacob, even though he's a nerd (he has his manly attitude), doesn't give the impression that he wants to see his wife having sex with someone else. Even more so, it's a heavy humiliation. Dan and Sarah still have children, which is something that weighs on the relationship. Now, a childless man, where the wife has no apathy, no partner, gets complicated. Vivian White is standing out for this in her story (the consequences of a cuckold), which is why the math doesn't add up, especially when the husband is completely cut off. Sex is something very intimate, and of course the couple will break up, whether the husband is cheating or the wife is cheating. This big dick thing is also easy for all the women in the stories; it doesn't bother them at all, and their uteruses don't feel hurt. It would be cool if they fucked the big guy, but deny the husband because she is sore, the cervix is uncomfortable, so cut the husband.

 

[SlyFox6333]

For me, the sex with Richard and Sarah was not complex enough. First, I like it when Sarah has sex with others and not exclusively Lester. We've now read Lester and Sarah having sex how many times??? So I was glad that Sarah decided to whore herself out to Richard, but I was hoping for more than "slam bam, thank you ma'am." After Richard got the No Tell Motel key, I would have liked seeing him texting other males to come to the room. Perhaps the CFO of the hospital (who we never read about, but just as an example). So Richard would take Sarah first, but then others would start appearing at the motel. Richard would just tell Sarah it was part of the interview process. How far would she play along? And would Lester be one of the members he texted? That would have added some interest to the plot. Another scenario would have been Richard telling Sarah to come to his house that evening and they would discuss her situation. Again, he could have invited his buddies and they could all use Sarah. I guess I am saying, I would have liked Sarah to get gang banged with her consent, but kind of tricked into doing it. It would take us back to Chapter 7 where Sarah is tricked into having sex with Lester, thinking the texts were from Dan, not Jesse. I do believe that part of the plot was one of the events that really sparked interest in this story.

 

[SlyFox6333]

One thing we learned in Chapter 33 was that Lester had not switched the birth control pills yet. I thought I missed it or that the reader was possibly expected to assume he had done it already. I understand that with delaying the switch, it at least allows Sarah to continue to have sex with others without getting pregnant; however, I think it would have been more intriguing to wonder who the father was if Lester would have switched them out earlier.

 

[john_doe6711]

You are correct it's a difficult challenge to write at the pace of the reader's voracious appetite but that doesn't mean I personally would relinquish control to another person. I guess it's possible, but it's been my experience that people don't read a story due to the premise only, they read it because they like how the author writes the story. I think we can all agree that DS writes some of the best sex scenes in erotica, but I wouldn't read a story written by someone else just because DS was writing all of the sex scenes.

Understood...but if you read the now titled undercover story(double cross)I think it's called now and read the sex scene at the club..that screams DS..then compare it to ch 33...tell me what you think..it isn't written the same in my opinion..

 

[john_doe6711]

I like one bully, one victim, and one betrayal. My problem with this story is that, first of all, he leaves nothing for later, no suspense or surprise or shock. Wait to expose the betrayals until the end, besides the wife's as she is the story. Having everyone in the story loving the bully and incredibly apathetic to the husband is not the best way to present a story.

Also, my issue with it is that as we go on, we discover that the husband actually has no-one. Everyone has turned on him, even the other husbands, because they, apparently love being cucks. He has no support at all and thats not betrayal, that's torture and to uncomfortable for me to read. Even one person would be someone, so that he is not the only moon circling Neptune.

Leah, would have been better portrayed, taking it that everything you are saying about her is true, with her meeting with the husband, even though he is incredibly stupid to hand anyone blackmail evidence, period. If the one meeting had been it and the betrayal had been exposed by her standing with everyone else who hates him, and said I hate you too, I've been helping to fuck you over. And it would be hard to convince me that any of them have anything less than hate and/or derision and/or contempt with regard to him. You don't do this much damage to someone with a laugh in your heart and well-meaning kindness.

Leah thinks to herself that he will either be a cuck or a divorced man by the end of the whole thing and neither thing really bothered her too much. Personally, I would love to see this ending, as I am so tired of these stories that stack up everything against the husband and he absolutely no hope at all as the rest of the world wants his failure in life:

They are all on Zack's office, the wife sucks Zack's cock in front of her husband, while telling him that he will never touch another pussy in his life because she is only fucking this guy from now on and she won't allow a divorce. Zack tells her that he will pay for a lawyer to stop the husband from leaving her as every good wife deserves to have a cuck in her life. The people in the husbands life stand around, laughing at him, telling him that Zack is so much a better man than her is. The husband reaches into his jacket pocket pulls out a pistol, sticks it in his mouth and pulls the trigger, forever warping the psyches of everyone who everyone who ever crossed him, with regards to this episode, in his life. Now they have that scene to forever have burnt into their heads.

I know that is pretty awful, I just cannot state how fervently I am against stories that just don't fuck over the husband, but do it so completely that there is no safety net for him, not even someone to cry in a beer with, they all just did six months of work with the guy with the big dick to devastatingly fuck over the world of someone who did nothing to hurt any of them.

Normally, I like these stories but there are some that push it too far and make it uncomfortable to read. Hell, I am even glad Dan in TA may have someone on DC for him, someone to support him, every person needs at least one person for that, who likes the person well enough that they would never be a part of that kind of thing.

Is this the bet that you're talking about...?

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

Is this the bet that you're talking about...?

yes, it just isn't my cup of tea, for these reasons. Not judging it for others, just not my cup, that's all.

 

[Verisimilinude]

Understood...but if you read the now titled undercover story(double cross)I think it's called now and read the sex scene at the club..that screams DS..then compare it to ch 33...tell me what you think..it isn't written the same in my opinion..

No disrespect to any who like it, I just couldn't get into Undercover, I bounced off it about midway thru it. But I don't need to have read it to know what or how DS writes, I've followed TA and Tainted, I know how he writes. I'm not saying anyone is wrong for suggesting that 33 feels off or that someone else wrote it. I'm simply stating I wouldn't give up control of my story like that and I find it hard to believe any other creative would either. Whether it be a painting, creating lyrics, composing music or writing...the reason we do it is we have something to say and the fun part is the writing--it's the editing that is tedious and boring (at least for me).

 

[john_doe6711]

yes, it just isn't my cup of tea, for these reasons. Not judging it for others, just not my cup, that's all.

I like the chase so far...the problem I'm having is the husband is written as a super idiot...guess that's what his fans want..

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

No disrespect to any who like it, I just couldn't get into Undercover, I bounced off it about midway thru it. But I don't need to have read it to know what or how DS writes, I've followed TA and Tainted, I know how he writes. I'm not saying anyone is wrong for suggesting that 33 feels off or that someone else wrote it. I'm simply stating I wouldn't give up control of my story like that and I find it hard to believe any other creative would either. Whether it be a painting, creating lyrics, composing music or writing...the reason we do it is we have something to say and the fun part is the writing--it's the editing that is tedious and boring (at least for me).

You're good. BTW, I wasn't trying to attack you or anything with my response on the Bet. I am more peeved at the crush, in stories, of the husband's heart/soul/psyche and how all those who ever loved him leave him lying in a gutter in his own drool and not even the Salvation Army will help him and I really thought that writer didn't write those, but hey, I never thought I would write a bully story, or a fanfic, so....

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

I like the chase so far...the problem I'm having is the husband is written as a super idiot...guess that's what his fans want..

Maybe some honest support would make him a better character. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink.