WOW! Thanks a lot, I will try. I'm also thinking using VAM. Wow some people can be helpful thanks again!
vam is also good, though personaly I dont know much about it. from discussions I had with devs and players in general, it has very good animations and physics ( jiggle, hair physics etc) which add a lot to the end result. and there are plenty of devs who use that engine as well, so you have a source of information and hopefully helpfull devs who are willing to offer their insight.
as an out of topic, my personal favorite engine ( though it has its cons) is HS2, but when I was chosing the software I would use for my game, I just couldnt make it to work on my pc back then so I turned to daz3d, which is mostly a free software, that centers around realism with its render engine (IRAY) it does have its cons as well though but you can achieve some realy stunning results.
I shifted towards blender lately, but its learning curve is a bit steep.
I would say, something that you may want to consider going forward on which software to chose, would be how suported it is.
for VAM and HS2 you can find plenty information on "how to's" and workflows, plus I believe plenty of free resourses to build your library.
daz has a ton of tutorial online and it is extremely user friendly BUT takes time to master. though you can achieve very good results on a short time.
blender has propably the biggest community and you can find pretty much anything and everything. but as I said, it needs time to learn your way around it, but once you do, there is no limit on what you can do.
the only immidiate problem with daz and blender would be your rig, since for IRAY ( daz) to work, I think you need Nvidia, while for blender its a bit more forgiving though you will still need vram and a descent gpu.