And with the turn of the year, the great millennium at last became 21 and finally able to legally drink. And all proclaimed: "Well that's not a good sign!"
Great hordes of Shannonmancers and Maevelites met on the field of battle, their blouses tight and their skirts extra short. Given it was January, there was some complaints about freezing their bloody tits off, but most felt the heat of their righteousness in their veins and were content.
Then, even as the great conflict, inevitable and unavoidable, crawled towards to the doom foretold, did the great Arch Angel appear, her bubble-gum tresses streaming in the winds of fate.
"Hark!" she called, her breasts heaving under her strategically ripped shirt, constantly on the verge of revealing a sacred nipple, but never quite managing, all to the consternation and frustration of those assembled, even though they constantly proclaimed in public that they didn't much care for her because she was a bit of a slut. "For I bring you tidings that you've been too bloody minded and stupid to think for yourself. For the real enemy is my mother, and you bloody well know it!"
And the assembled hordes looked at each other with embarrassment and lowered their weapons. Then the combined forces laid great siege to the trailer of hypocrisy in a campaign that would last 40 days and 40 nights, until at last the Shirleen ran out of whisky and cigarettes and was forced to surrender.
In the name of all that was holy, the foul cock-blocker was paddled severely upon her backside until her cheeks glowed like a furnace and she promised to be nicer to her daughter in the future.
Then, and only then, did everyone retire to Olivia's temple, where the goddess waived a bottle of wine in the air and proclaimed: "Lo, but I hast sold the throne of Olympus, and that Zeus dude is fucking loaded!".
And there didst everyone partake of a scrumptious feast.
And there was much rejoicing.
And not a little fapping, but that somehow always gets left out of the official transcripts.