I like the introduction and the visuals. The game definitely has promise.
I've written a lot of suggestions below, but I don't mean to insult or overwhelm you with advice. Quite the opposite: if a game sucks, I don't make any suggestions at all. I'm writing this much because I think your game is off to a great start and so I want to help improve it.
Dialogue:
- ALL CAPS MAKES CHARACTERS SOUND LIKE THEY'RE SHOUTING ALL THE TIME! (It also makes it hard to tell when they're actually shouting.)
- Check flow between dialogue. If the characters switch topics, make sure there's a smooth transition that bridges the different subjects. This also ties into storytelling 'pacing' which I talk about below.
Models:
- I like the models. Their appearance all reflects their inner personalities, which really helps reinforce who they are. So I only have a couple of suggestions:
- The eyes are supernaturally colored, especially the MC. For me it's quite distracting and breaks immersion.
- Dial down the expressions. I would say that the vast majority of Daz3D facial expressions look ridiculous when set to 100%. Player's brains are naturally drawn to the face and the subtleties of expressions, so you can safely rely on players to pick up the character's emotions with much smaller changes.
Storytelling:
- I think you have the same problem as me: trouble with pacing. In the context of visual novels, I've discovered that when players talk about pacing, what they mean is the rate at which new information is introduced. I've found that it helps to linger on a subject for longer than I think, and to make sure there's clean transitions between topics.
- Conflict is the engine which drives the story forward. This is the prologue, so you have a 'grace period' by players in which they'll continue playing to see what happens... but make sure that real conflict is being introduced soon. A common mistake for new developers, especially with college-aged games, is that the bulk of the introduction is the MC going around meeting different characters. That's not a story -- that's a series of events. Meeting characters must be simultaneous to setting up the story conflicts, otherwise players will get bored. Maybe you already know this, but I'm mentioning it on the off-chance you fall into the same trap.
Visuals:
- I really like the visuals, and in many cases your visuals are better than mine. However, there's a bunch of small improvements you can make to keep people from complaining:
- Be careful with sharpening (both in post-production, but also in setting your Pixel Filter Radius too low). Yes, it brings out details, but when overdone it creates "anti-aliasing" with jagged lines around edges. This is especially noticeable around the hair. I often have the same problem.
- Be careful with contrast and saturation. The bursting of colors gives it a "summertime" look which I love, but if exaggerated it can create unintended side effects: our eyes are drawn to the brightest spots on renders. For example, when Mom says "Hey, honey. Nothing special. Just for tomorrow", the render is of the MC. Our eyes are drawn to his almost-glowing blue eyes, but also that red plant in the background is now very red, and is now attracting our focus. It shouldn't be a focal point to the image.
- Be careful with highlights and overexposure. The unfortunate thing about Genesis 8 is that the skin textures reflect light a lot. Not just from your light sources directly, but also when the light bounces off walls. This has the consequence of making some parts of your image "blown-out" with white. For example, the MC's shirt is insanely white when he's standing in front of the bathroom. It annihilates all details. In Daz3D, either 'burn highlights' a bit in render settings, darken the white textures of the problematic area (make MC's shirt for example a little more gray), or move the lights further away from the subject.
- Be careful with varying color temperatures with multiple light sources. Emission lights from lamps, for example, often come loaded with their own setting for their color temperature, for example 5000K (warm). But when you set up your own scene lights like a spotlight, it can be default 6000K. This means that some parts of your render will appear orange from lamps and ceiling lights, but then other parts will appear white. This difference gets exaggerated with increasing saturation and contrast during post-work.
- 90% of your visuals are well-framed. The subject is a good spot. However, don't forget that even though we can move the camera from all sorts of angles in Daz3D, the expectations of camera angles in Daz3D are often defined by movies and TV shows. When MC and the Dad are moving to the garage, the camera is high and pointed down. Because we're unconsciously trained since birth to expect the scene to be viewed from somewhere between chest and the top of the head, anytime that camera moves to an unexpected angle, it draws our attention. This can be a good thing when you want to illuminate a particular object or create a specific feeling for the player, but if it's just people standing around talking, it's a good idea to make sure your camera is not angled too far down or too far up.
Process:
- The hardest part of all the suggestions I've made so far is doing it while maintaining speed and scale. I've nitpicked your renders a lot, but the flip side of making renders too perfect is that it starts to take a lot of time. Some games that shall not be named have been around for 8+ years and only update once a year because they're too damn busy making each render look like Jesus coming down from the heavens. However, you can strike a balance by optimizing your workflow for both quality and speed. Use Daz3D third-party tools, group similar tasks together, and create your production process to be like a factory where the update is a product that moves from one station to the next.
Other:
- Be very, very careful about the sexy "familial" relationships between the MILF and the MC. Patreon is watching this site, and it has nuked many creators' pages for breaking their TOS. If you insist on proceeding, consider making a SubscribeStar where rules are not as strictly enforced... for now. There are many other games that use particular tricks to try and avoid getting in trouble.
- This is F95. Once you post a few updates, you'll see the 'review nukers' who give everything 1 or 2 stars just because they're miserable, the 'tough guys', the 'everything is NTR!' lunatics, the 'y no sex yet' people. I'm happy you're taking suggestions since many developers don't -- but give less merit to each individuals' complaint as opposed to complaints that arise over and over!
Anyways, that's all. Happy developing, and I'm looking forward to playing your next update!