I've left a more extensive review but having completed the 0.1 version it definitely shows a lot of promise. To summarise I think the main area of improvement would be getting a second pair of eyes, preferably someone versed in British English, to do a pass over on the script for grammatical and linguistic reasons. Some of the phrases and vernacular used stands out for its anachronisms or being "English as taught" that doesn't account for the ways English is, when used in practise, a scuffed language.
Happy to offer myself in that capacity if that would be helpful.