VN Ren'Py World's Crossing Academy [v1.2.2.2] [TeamEmberWings]

[S1nsational]

The problem is what you're looking for doesn't really exist.

The vast majority of us don't speak Irish all the time. Most of us speak English that's very similar to how Americans and English people speak it. There are notable differences in how we phrase some things, and which terms we use compared to America or the UK.

Trying to have an Irish speaking character sound exotic to Americans isn't going to work for the most part. It'll just turn into parody, like the movie Wild Mountain Thyme. Absolutely despised by everyone in Ireland, and the director came out and said he doesn't care what Irish people think of the movie, that he made the movie for Americans who will never visit Ireland.

 

[shitass1001]

The problem is what you're looking for doesn't really exist.

The vast majority of us don't speak Irish all the time. Most of us speak English that's very similar to how Americans and English people speak it. There are notable differences in how we phrase some things, and which terms we use compared to America or the UK.

Trying to have an Irish speaking character sound exotic to Americans isn't going to work for the most part. It'll just turn into parody, like the movie Wild Mountain Thyme. Absolutely despised by everyone in Ireland, and the director came out and said he doesn't care what Irish people think of the movie, that he made the movie for Americans who will never visit Ireland.

"the director came out and said he doesn't care what Irish people think" the dev of this game should say the same thing. Honestly this whole situation makes Irish people seem like babies, making the dev apologize 4 times apparently.

"The problem is what you're looking for doesn't really exist." neither does the vast majority of the aspects of this fantasy game, let the dev have his faux-Irish character, and let him get back to working on the shit that matters

 

[gremmie]

I think it's fine. People who complain just like to do so. I actually enjoy the way she talks.

Some people just like to pile on so they can feel like they have an opinion.

 

[VictorSeven]

The problem is what you're looking for doesn't really exist.

The vast majority of us don't speak Irish all the time. Most of us speak English that's very similar to how Americans and English people speak it. There are notable differences in how we phrase some things, and which terms we use compared to America or the UK.

Trying to have an Irish speaking character sound exotic to Americans isn't going to work for the most part. It'll just turn into parody, like the movie Wild Mountain Thyme. Absolutely despised by everyone in Ireland, and the director came out and said he doesn't care what Irish people think of the movie, that he made the movie for Americans who will never visit Ireland.

Right and I think this was my mistake in trying way too hard to make Aoibheann SOUND exotic. I was pretty stubbornly focused on that, and I think that's why her speech came out a tad unrealistic. Whereas, if she were Irish-born but raised in Scotland, hell, Scots' accents can be so thick that they TYPE in brogue, so that offers me an opportunity to give her that exotic sound without her speech being... unrealistic?

To date, my only Irish reference is Moira from Overwatch, whom I have WAY too many hours on, whom I also assume is over-the-top.

 

[tmu500]

Yours was one of the attempts I was talking about. What I needed was someone to actually rewrite her dialogue so it would sound natural for anyone from Ireland to read so I could see what proper Irish would look like, and then work with me on a line-by-line basis as I rewrote all of her dialogue under their direction and approval. You left most of her dialogue untouched and instead left paragraphs and paragraphs of explanation, which really doesn't help because I learn far better from example than explanation. Better from showing than telling. And everyone who has offered to help thus far has done a ton of telling, but not a lot of showing. Here's what I'm talking about:

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I needed a full, honest-to-goodness rewrite of somewhere around 20 of her lines, from scratch, the way a real Irish person would talk if they had a thicker accent and grew up speaking Gaeilge. When I got your file and found most of her lines untouched or with one/two word edits rather than a nice, fully-rewritten section to give me a good sense of how she SHOULD be talking, I kinda gave up. I didn't know how to go about expressing that this was not what I asked for without feeling like I was being ungrateful for the time, and I also didn't want to go about being all demanding with someone who was really just here to enjoy the game. So I dropped the issue and started thinking of other solutions. There WERE good suggestions in there, such as the use of the term Gaeilge and having Aoibheann correct him when he says Irish Gaelic. But I was hoping for a good, solid example of how she should be speaking in conversation and didn't get that from ya.

And again, I don't wanna sound ungrateful. There's stuff in there that's absolutely useful and I value the time you put in. My brain just does not handle exposition the way it handles examples.

Thank you for the message. I am not sure if you have answer this questions before, but any idea when season 1 rewrite will be completed?

 

[someyoungguy]

I needed a full, honest-to-goodness rewrite of somewhere around 20 of her lines, from scratch, the way a real Irish person would talk if they had a thicker accent and grew up speaking Gaeilge. When I got your file and found most of her lines untouched or with one/two word edits rather than a nice, fully-rewritten section to give me a good sense of how she SHOULD be talking, I kinda gave up. I didn't know how to go about expressing that this was not what I asked for without feeling like I was being ungrateful for the time, and I also didn't want to go about being all demanding with someone who was really just here to enjoy the game. So I dropped the issue and started thinking of other solutions. There WERE good suggestions in there, such as the use of the term Gaeilge and having Aoibheann correct him when he says Irish Gaelic. But I was hoping for a good, solid example of how she should be speaking in conversation and didn't get that from ya.

And again, I don't wanna sound ungrateful. There's stuff in there that's absolutely useful and I value the time you put in. My brain just does not handle exposition the way it handles examples.

Usually a few retyped lines won't be enough for you to be able to write in a vernacular you're unfamiliar with. The approach that I've seen work best is having a native speaker of that vernacular co-write the character's lines with a writer to help with word choices and vernacular spellings, although I know of some examples where the native speaker will meet with the writer (usually virtually) and just read the script back to the writer after editing for word choice. It can add a lot of time to the writing process, but it's really the only approach I've seen produce consistent and recognisable results for a writer using an unfamiliar vernacular. It might be easier for you in some respects to work with a native speaker who is also a writer, but it would almost certainly be easier to find one that can help with word choice and sound, with you figuring out the finer details of translating the sounds of speech to writing on your own.

One of the issues with asking for this kind of help to begin with is that native speakers aren't generally as linguistically aware of their native language as they are their own. As in, they don't think of their language in terms of syntax and semantics, they just speak in the way that feels natural to them. Because the rules of speaking in a vernacular are intuited rather than codified, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to get general vernacular writing guidance from a native speaker who isn't a linguist specialising specifically in their own native vernacular. Writing the lines in a more stilted, formal style and then asking a native speaker to help translate the lines into a more natural, conversational tone would probably yield better results closer to the kind you're looking for. Writing in vernacular is rather a specific skill that's often difficult even for writers who are native speakers. For example, in the script example you showed, there are places where the would-be translator recognised how poor your vernacular approximation was and was able to point out how wrong it was but couldn't provide meaningful counter-translations or specific corrections. This kind of feedback is doubly unhelpful because it doesn't work well with your learning style, but it's also based on a kind of folk understanding of how a native language is spoken, which rarely holds up to linguistic study, so even if you could follow the advice it wouldn't yield the results they think it would.

Idk if any of that was actually helpful for you, but I hope it was. I'm also replying under the assumption you're still interested in pursuing a more accurate vernacular representation for your character, so feel free to ignore this if that isn't the case. If you want a tl;dr, it's that you probably need help from a native vernacular speaker consultation for every update, rather than a one-time consultation, due to how vernacular language is used by native speakers.

 

[VictorSeven]

Usually a few retyped lines won't be enough for you to be able to write in a vernacular you're unfamiliar with. The approach that I've seen work best is having a native speaker of that vernacular co-write the character's lines with a writer to help with word choices and vernacular spellings, although I know of some examples where the native speaker will meet with the writer (usually virtually) and just read the script back to the writer after editing for word choice. It can add a lot of time to the writing process, but it's really the only approach I've seen produce consistent and recognisable results for a writer using an unfamiliar vernacular. It might be easier for you in some respects to work with a native speaker who is also a writer, but it would almost certainly be easier to find one that can help with word choice and sound, with you figuring out the finer details of translating the sounds of speech to writing on your own.

One of the issues with asking for this kind of help to begin with is that native speakers aren't generally as linguistically aware of their native language as they are their own. As in, they don't think of their language in terms of syntax and semantics, they just speak in the way that feels natural to them. Because the rules of speaking in a vernacular are intuited rather than codified, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to get general vernacular writing guidance from a native speaker who isn't a linguist specialising specifically in their own native vernacular. Writing the lines in a more stilted, formal style and then asking a native speaker to help translate the lines into a more natural, conversational tone would probably yield better results closer to the kind you're looking for. Writing in vernacular is rather a specific skill that's often difficult even for writers who are native speakers. For example, in the script example you showed, there are places where the would-be translator recognised how poor your vernacular approximation was and was able to point out how wrong it was but couldn't provide meaningful counter-translations or specific corrections. This kind of feedback is doubly unhelpful because it doesn't work well with your learning style, but it's also based on a kind of folk understanding of how a native language is spoken, which rarely holds up to linguistic study, so even if you could follow the advice it wouldn't yield the results they think it would.

Idk if any of that was actually helpful for you, but I hope it was. I'm also replying under the assumption you're still interested in pursuing a more accurate vernacular representation for your character, so feel free to ignore this if that isn't the case. If you want a tl;dr, it's that you probably need help from a native vernacular speaker consultation for every update, rather than a one-time consultation, due to how vernacular language is used by native speakers.

This is a fantastic breakdown and kind of showcases the flaw in my thinking. There were a few people who suggested I just tell the player through narration that she speaks with a thick Irish accent, and then just write her words normally and allow the player to imagine it.

Thank you for the message. I am not sure if you have answer this questions before, but any idea when season 1 rewrite will be completed?

I've been back and forth on this. I'm at a weird point in Season 2's story where Free Time will be removed for a little bit due to a main story incident, and I kinda think I shouldn't leave it there, but I need the entirety of Episode 4 to resolve that and get the player back to normal gameplay. And that's at least 2 whole updates that could cost the game 3 months apiece before I even settle back into rewriting Season 1. I know there are so many people waiting on the rewrite to try the game again, too, so I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't, y'know?

June is the game's 3 year anniversary. I dreamed I'd have it done by then at one point, but that's obviously not gonna happen lol. But I do remember saying it'd be done by the end of the year at the latest, and hoping more like September if I can make all the decisions I need to and roll with them.

Hope that helps.

 

[shitass1001]

There were a few people who suggested I just tell the player through narration that she speaks with a thick Irish accent, and then just write her words normally and allow the player to imagine it.

this might be the play, unfortunately. I liked the way Aoibheann spoke, but if this is what it takes to get the babies Irish people to stop complaining then so be it.

I've been back and forth on this. I'm at a weird point in Season 2's story where Free Time will be removed for a little bit due to a main story incident, and I kinda think I shouldn't leave it there, but I need the entirety of Episode 4 to resolve that and get the player back to normal gameplay. And that's at least 2 whole updates that could cost the game 3 months apiece before I even settle back into rewriting Season 1. I know there are so many people waiting on the rewrite to try the game again, too, so I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't, y'know?

June is the game's 3 year anniversary. I dreamed I'd have it done by then at one point, but that's obviously not gonna happen lol. But I do remember saying it'd be done by the end of the year at the latest, and hoping more like September if I can make all the decisions I need to and roll with them.

Hope that helps.

Can I ask why you want to rewrite season 1? I really thoroughly enjoyed it, and couldn't really find anything I would consider worth completely rewriting

 

[VictorSeven]

this might be the play, unfortunately. I liked the way Aoibheann spoke, but if this is what it takes to get the babies Irish people to stop complaining then so be it.

Can I ask why you want to rewrite season 1? I really thoroughly enjoyed it, and couldn't really find anything I would consider worth completely rewriting

Well, there were complaints and reviews that were turning potential players away regarding the negativity and manhating atmosphere in the prologue and beginning. I was trying to start the story and world off with a ton of obstacles for the player to overcome but I guess it didn't come off that way. I've had people coming in here raging about how intense the writing was and I thought I'd tone it down to try to reach more people. Check the reviews and you'll see what I mean. It's not a COMPLETE rewrite. All of the scenes and visuals should be the same. Some are being moved, and in some, the dialogue is being rewritten.

The other complaints were forced interactions (River) and story beats that should have been choices (Eshtel and Chiara). A LOT of people got pissed off that they were forced to interact with River, and even more wanted to date Eshtel monogamously and were pissed that they were forced to wingman her away to a character they didn't like (Chiara).

 

[shitass1001]

Well, there were complaints and reviews that were turning potential players away regarding the negativity and manhating atmosphere in the prologue and beginning. I was trying to start the story and world off with a ton of obstacles for the player to overcome but I guess it didn't come off that way. I've had people coming in here raging about how intense the writing was and I thought I'd tone it down to try to reach more people. Check the reviews and you'll see what I mean. It's not a COMPLETE rewrite. All of the scenes and visuals should be the same. Some are being moved, and in some, the dialogue is being rewritten.

The other complaints were forced interactions (River) and story beats that should have been choices (Eshtel and Chiara). A LOT of people got pissed off that they were forced to interact with River, and even more wanted to date Eshtel monogamously and were pissed that they were forced to wingman her away to a character they didn't like (Chiara).

ok, that makes sense, thanks for the reply. I kinda found the manhating stuff compelling, making it something that the MC had to overcome in the story, but I can understand how a lot of people would be put off because of it

 

[Harkonnan]

I think its a shame you can't just write the story they way you want. I personally had no problem with the crazy ex as it added flavor to the game. The only thing I had a problem with was the long sequence where he was doing martial arts forms. Other than that I liked all of it. It really is unfair that you have to change it because some crybabies can't handle it the way you wrote it. I do agree the thing with Chiara and Eshtel was annoying, but I could deal with it because we found out that wind elves aren't exclusive so there was hope for that in the future. River didn't really bother me much since we were given a choice if we wanted to pursue her/him now or wait till later to pursue her or not at all. Over all I would say I liked things the way you wrote them and I'm more than a little annoyed that those few whiners had such a dramatic effect on your game that you had to make accommodations for them. Seriously if they were that miserable playing your game they should have just played something else rather they trying to ruin it for the rest of us. I sincerely hope you don't change too much in the rewrite.

Well with that out of my system I am impatiently waiting for the next release of your great game. As much as I like the gargoyle I was hoping for that little red imp from the vote. I could just imagine how fun she is going to be since imps tend to be mischievous like pixies. Keep up the good work!

 

[VictorSeven]

ok, that makes sense, thanks for the reply. I kinda found the manhating stuff compelling, making it something that the MC had to overcome in the story, but I can understand how a lot of people would be put off because of it

I think its a shame you can't just write the story they way you want. I personally had no problem with the crazy ex as it added flavor to the game. The only thing I had a problem with was the long sequence where he was doing martial arts forms. Other than that I liked all of it. It really is unfair that you have to change it because some crybabies can't handle it the way you wrote it. I do agree the thing with Chiara and Eshtel was annoying, but I could deal with it because we found out that wind elves aren't exclusive so there was hope for that in the future. River didn't really bother me much since we were given a choice if we wanted to pursue her/him now or wait till later to pursue her or not at all. Over all I would say I liked things the way you wrote them and I'm more than a little annoyed that those few whiners had such a dramatic effect on your game that you had to make accommodations for them. Seriously if they were that miserable playing your game they should have just played something else rather they trying to ruin it for the rest of us. I sincerely hope you don't change too much in the rewrite.

Well with that out of my system I am impatiently waiting for the next release of your great game. As much as I like the gargoyle I was hoping for that little red imp from the vote. I could just imagine how fun she is going to be since imps tend to be mischievous like pixies. Keep up the good work!

So I do want to say that the overall direction and theme isn't changing. I'm more moving Aurum from "obviously miserable and hating life" to "pretty unhappy with circumstances and looking for ways to change them." I'm still telling the same story, and Cecilia is still a very big part of the story, but you're not hit straight in the face with her mannequin scene and having that set the tone for the rest of the story before you understand what's going on.

And of course the long martial arts sequence, but I was trying to use that as a vehicle for exposition to be able to showcase his inner battle between wanting to get the hell off the island but also being interested in Gillie and potentially changing his mind. I couldn't just blackscreen it and have a bunch of text, so I had Aurum go through the 2nd Degree Black Belt form for Taekwondo, Form Keumgang, while he was kind of internally narrating his thoughts. I tend to think of and process a lot of things while doing my own forms, so I thought it would translate well. It... didn't have the effect I wanted it to have, and a lot of people found it really boring. Lesson learned. That's one of the sections I'm really working on shoring up. Getting to the point a lot quicker and getting on with the story, as it were, since it's just the prologue and all.

And as much as I'd like to jump on the bandwagon and hate on the "whiners and crybabies," the feedback, though delivered poorly, is still valuable. I cannot count the number of times the intro has put someone off from the game because it was so steeped in negativity. And for every one person that speaks up, there are ten who don't. The prologue of the game was shooting me in the foot, and making some people so upset that they felt the need to post about it. And when one person bashes a game, others tend to see it and join in, and soon the forum is awash in negativity, which has the knock-on effect of new people coming in and thinking, "Wow, this game must be trash. Better skip it." It's very dangerous for the survival of the game. I've been very lucky to maintain nearly a 4.5* rating on here and on Itch (seriously, your reviews make a MASSIVE difference, so please post your review of the game so far), and letting the forum collapse into bashing is a dangerous prospect that could have real consequences for the game and its survival. So you see my motivation for making the changes. I now know for future games not to force players to give away a love interest, and to make "trap" characters opt-in only content.

In summary, most of it is just softening some of the language and the way people treat Aurum in the beginning chapters of Season 1, Aoibheann's speech, and pulling out all the sexy scenes and putting them in each character's side stories since I now have a new system for that with Free Time.

AND FUNNY YOU MENTION KRIN. We're gearing up for her appearance in the next couple episodes of Season 2. That being said, I may end up doing a poll to see what people want first: the next couple episodes of Season 2 or the rewrite of Season 1 and the combination of it all into one complete game.

Thanks for your time and comments.

 

[tmu500]

So I do want to say that the overall direction and theme isn't changing. I'm more moving Aurum from "obviously miserable and hating life" to "pretty unhappy with circumstances and looking for ways to change them." I'm still telling the same story, and Cecilia is still a very big part of the story, but you're not hit straight in the face with her mannequin scene and having that set the tone for the rest of the story before you understand what's going on.

And of course the long martial arts sequence, but I was trying to use that as a vehicle for exposition to be able to showcase his inner battle between wanting to get the hell off the island but also being interested in Gillie and potentially changing his mind. I couldn't just blackscreen it and have a bunch of text, so I had Aurum go through the 2nd Degree Black Belt form for Taekwondo, Form Keumgang, while he was kind of internally narrating his thoughts. I tend to think of and process a lot of things while doing my own forms, so I thought it would translate well. It... didn't have the effect I wanted it to have, and a lot of people found it really boring. Lesson learned. That's one of the sections I'm really working on shoring up. Getting to the point a lot quicker and getting on with the story, as it were, since it's just the prologue and all.

And as much as I'd like to jump on the bandwagon and hate on the "whiners and crybabies," the feedback, though delivered poorly, is still valuable. I cannot count the number of times the intro has put someone off from the game because it was so steeped in negativity. And for every one person that speaks up, there are ten who don't. The prologue of the game was shooting me in the foot, and making some people so upset that they felt the need to post about it. And when one person bashes a game, others tend to see it and join in, and soon the forum is awash in negativity, which has the knock-on effect of new people coming in and thinking, "Wow, this game must be trash. Better skip it." It's very dangerous for the survival of the game. I've been very lucky to maintain nearly a 4.5* rating on here and on Itch (seriously, your reviews make a MASSIVE difference, so please post your review of the game so far), and letting the forum collapse into bashing is a dangerous prospect that could have real consequences for the game and its survival. So you see my motivation for making the changes. I now know for future games not to force players to give away a love interest, and to make "trap" characters opt-in only content.

In summary, most of it is just softening some of the language and the way people treat Aurum in the beginning chapters of Season 1, Aoibheann's speech, and pulling out all the sexy scenes and putting them in each character's side stories since I now have a new system for that with Free Time.

AND FUNNY YOU MENTION KRIN. We're gearing up for her appearance in the next couple episodes of Season 2. That being said, I may end up doing a poll to see what people want first: the next couple episodes of Season 2 or the rewrite of Season 1 and the combination of it all into one complete game.

Thanks for your time and comments.

Thank you for the message. for me, I like to see the rewrite of chapter 1 first. But I thing the best option is to continue the story, then go back and provide a complete game (merging season 1 and 2).

 

[Harkonnan]

And of course the long martial arts sequence, but I was trying to use that as a vehicle for exposition to be able to showcase his inner battle between wanting to get the hell off the island but also being interested in Gillie and potentially changing his mind. I couldn't just blackscreen it and have a bunch of text, so I had Aurum go through the 2nd Degree Black Belt form for Taekwondo, Form Keumgang, while he was kind of internally narrating his thoughts. I tend to think of and process a lot of things while doing my own forms, so I thought it would translate well. It... didn't have the effect I wanted it to have, and a lot of people found it really boring. Lesson learned. That's one of the sections I'm really working on shoring up. Getting to the point a lot quicker and getting on with the story, as it were, since it's just the prologue and all.

In regards to the martial arts forms sequence maybe you can break that exposition into chunks and cover it a little bit each morning since you have that breakfast and shower event every morning. Maybe on some days he covers some of it in the shower and other days some of it while eating breakfast. I figure this way you could cover that whole back story in 3-4 days before the story really gets underway. I personally think breaking that up into smaller pieces would help the flow of the initial story and doing it this way still allows for scene setting in the first couple of days so you can start the story proper without losing any time. So rather than a rewrite, just move things around a bit to make it flow better. Well that's my 2 cents worth.

 

[VictorSeven]

Thank you for the message. for me, I like to see the rewrite of chapter 1 first. But I thing the best option is to continue the story, then go back and provide a complete game (merging season 1 and 2).

Really appreciate the input.

In regards to the martial arts forms sequence maybe you can break that exposition into chunks and cover it a little bit each morning since you have that breakfast and shower event every morning. Maybe on some days he covers some of it in the shower and other days some of it while eating breakfast. I figure this way you could cover that whole back story in 3-4 days before the story really gets underway. I personally think breaking that up into smaller pieces would help the flow of the initial story and doing it this way still allows for scene setting in the first couple of days so you can start the story proper without losing any time. So rather than a rewrite, just move things around a bit to make it flow better. Well that's my 2 cents worth.

That's honestly kinda brilliant. Definitely gonna consider doing it that way, or chopping the scene up and including it in the morning routine as that also gives the feeling that he tries to stay in practice by going through his forms daily.

 

[VictorSeven]

[PROGRESS REPORT] An Epic Save/ Rewrite Questions​

Earlier, I made a post about a deprecated shader, and how it may have taken a character out of the game's roster because, without the shader, her skin wouldn't look right.

Well, I am pleased to announce that Nemlyn will not be going anywhere, thanks to an epic save by Necro. On hearing about the issue, he had an idea. Several hours of work later, he was able to manually tweak the skin without use of the lost shader and make her look more or less how she had before. I have no idea how he did it, but here we are, and I am thankful.



We're currently in the process of building a document so we can keep track of the characters' side stories and better plan for them. As far as the main story goes, I've written all but 2 scenes of Episode 3 and I already have several of the first scenes shot.

Now, onto that other topic. The rewrite topic. Oddly enough, I've actually been getting some pushback from people who LIKE the story the way it is, who feel an author should be able to tell the story they want to tell without people strong-arming them into changing it. I'm beginning to think I was in a bit of analysis paralysis over what exactly to do with the rewrite. So here's what I've kinda settled on:

• Remove some of the filler sex scenes and put them in the respective character's Free Time event lineup (Cecilia mannequin scene, both of Ambriel's scenes [Merry Christmas in June, that's the Harpy's real name], Nook and Tilai's lesbian interactions, potentially the end of Gillie's chapel scene)
• (Optional) Remove the sex scenes that are deeply woven into the story and put them in the respective character's Free Time event lineup (Gillie chapel scene, Jade's after sparring and cafe basement scenes, Nook's beach scene, Aoibheann's scene, Ashley's flashback scene)
• Make Cecilia and River secret characters you have to unlock in order to view sex scenes with
• Add another option to River's interaction for those who want to avoid her
• Add another option to Eshtel and Chiara's interaction for those who want to date Eshtel
• Smooth out a small bit of the negativity in the prologue and chop up that long martial arts scene
• Fix Aoibheann's speech
• Leave the rest of the story as-is and just put a disclaimer at the beginning that the story starts out rough, but it's written that way so that you FEEL the impact you're having on everyone's attitudes towards you

I think that's a good middle ground that addresses some huge H-Game faux pas, but also maintains the quality of the original story without sacrificing anything. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this middle ground. Am I still overthinking things? If you're reading this on Patreon or SubscribeStar, the post will also have a poll asking what you think I should prioritize in terms of new content vs finishing the rewrite. All of you have been super helpful with your input and I greatly appreciate you taking your time to give your opinions. I'd also like to know whether you'd prefer only the filler sex scenes be relegated to Free Time or if you think ALL of the Season 1 sex scenes should go in Season 2's Free Time.

Thanks for reading!

-Vic

POLL DETAILS: The end of Season 2 Episode 3 leaves you unable to return to Free Time, and you'll be unable to access Free Time all the way until the end of Episode 4. When do you think I should take a break from Season 2 and finish the Season 1 Rewrite?

 

[Elhemeer]

[PROGRESS REPORT] An Epic Save/ Rewrite Questions​

Earlier, I made a post about a deprecated shader, and how it may have taken a character out of the game's roster because, without the shader, her skin wouldn't look right.

Well, I am pleased to announce that Nemlyn will not be going anywhere, thanks to an epic save by Necro. On hearing about the issue, he had an idea. Several hours of work later, he was able to manually tweak the skin without use of the lost shader and make her look more or less how she had before. I have no idea how he did it, but here we are, and I am thankful.

View attachment 3701731

We're currently in the process of building a document so we can keep track of the characters' side stories and better plan for them. As far as the main story goes, I've written all but 2 scenes of Episode 3 and I already have several of the first scenes shot.

Now, onto that other topic. The rewrite topic. Oddly enough, I've actually been getting some pushback from people who LIKE the story the way it is, who feel an author should be able to tell the story they want to tell without people strong-arming them into changing it. I'm beginning to think I was in a bit of analysis paralysis over what exactly to do with the rewrite. So here's what I've kinda settled on:

• Remove some of the filler sex scenes and put them in the respective character's Free Time event lineup (Cecilia mannequin scene, both of Ambriel's scenes [Merry Christmas in June, that's the Harpy's real name], Nook and Tilai's lesbian interactions, potentially the end of Gillie's chapel scene)
• (Optional) Remove the sex scenes that are deeply woven into the story and put them in the respective character's Free Time event lineup (Gillie chapel scene, Jade's after sparring and cafe basement scenes, Nook's beach scene, Aoibheann's scene, Ashley's flashback scene)
• Make Cecilia and River secret characters you have to unlock in order to view sex scenes with
• Add another option to River's interaction for those who want to avoid her
• Add another option to Eshtel and Chiara's interaction for those who want to date Eshtel
• Smooth out a small bit of the negativity in the prologue and chop up that long martial arts scene
• Fix Aoibheann's speech
• Leave the rest of the story as-is and just put a disclaimer at the beginning that the story starts out rough, but it's written that way so that you FEEL the impact you're having on everyone's attitudes towards you

View attachment 3701729

I think that's a good middle ground that addresses some huge H-Game faux pas, but also maintains the quality of the original story without sacrificing anything. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this middle ground. Am I still overthinking things? If you're reading this on Patreon or SubscribeStar, the post will also have a poll asking what you think I should prioritize in terms of new content vs finishing the rewrite. All of you have been super helpful with your input and I greatly appreciate you taking your time to give your opinions. I'd also like to know whether you'd prefer only the filler sex scenes be relegated to Free Time or if you think ALL of the Season 1 sex scenes should go in Season 2's Free Time.

Thanks for reading!

-Vic

POLL DETAILS: The end of Season 2 Episode 3 leaves you unable to return to Free Time, and you'll be unable to access Free Time all the way until the end of Episode 4. When do you think I should take a break from Season 2 and finish the Season 1 Rewrite?

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Anyway, that's my opinions. Good luck with the game. I look forward to seeing what's next.

 

[Mommysbuttslut]

Make Cecilia and River secret characters you have to unlock in order to view sex scenes with

Is it gonna be some obscure method to unlock them like the book girl (sorry I'm terrible with names) or is it just gonna be a straight up yes/no? Just hoping River and Cecilia fans (it's me, I'm a River and Cecilia fan) don't get shafted with obscure mechanics

 

[VictorSeven]

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Anyway, that's my opinions. Good luck with the game. I look forward to seeing what's next.

Fantastic points, and allow me to respond.

First note:
Very good point there, though things like Cecilia's mannequin scene and Ashley's flashback could easily go in Cecilia's Free Time for after you deal with her in the main story and choose the option that keeps her in your game, which is what will unlock her for free time.

Second note:
Ashley is Cecilia's sister. River is our petite little mostly nonverbal trans girl who is obsessed with Elven magic because it could finally make her what she's always wanted to be. Some people screamed and hollered because they were forced to share the same room with a "trap" and/or didn't get the option to turn her down completely rather than just waiting until she'd gone through the Rebirth Ceremony and was fully biologically female to begin courting her.

Third note:
I may just put a disclaimer that has an apology to the Irish people and keep her the way she is. It's the main thing that's holding me up on the rewrite, unless...

...

Fuck me, I just had an idea that justifies this whole goddamn thing and why she sounds so bad to real Irish people. Hold on, making notes. I may have just blow this wide open.

Fourth note:
Fantastic idea, and will definitely consider that in my list of options.

Last note:
Nothing in the rewrite will affect anything in Season 2. It's more about just pulling back on the sheer intensity of the negativity and "everyone hates men" atmosphere that people have complained about, plus inserting some choices where I failed to on my first run through. That's really it.

Is it gonna be some obscure method to unlock them like the book girl (sorry I'm terrible with names) or is it just gonna be a straight up yes/no? Just hoping River and Cecilia fans (it's me, I'm a River and Cecilia fan) don't get shafted with obscure mechanics

HELL no. Petra was just a fun secret unlock as an experiment to see how many people would enjoy a bit of extra side content and want to take the extra steps to unlock it. River and Cecilia are VERY prominent in the main story, unlike Petra who only exists in her own side story, so for characters like River and Cecilia, you will be given a very clear opt in/opt out choice for their romance route. Cecilia's will happen in Season 2, Episode 5, and River's should happen sometime soon after that.

Hope this helps answer some of your questions. I'm tempering my approach to the rewrite, and at this point it's probably going to feel more like putting extra polish into the game and adding some choices than an actual honest-to-goodness rewrite. Change a thing too much, and the original audience won't like it anymore. I'm VERY aware that I need to avoid that. And if, after I polish Season 1 up a bit, people still cry about it? Well, sorry, but my core audience loves it this way, and this way is the way it stays. This is the one and only time I'm doing this and it's only because there's enough outcry that I worry the first two chapters are heavy enough to really turn new players off to the point where they feel obligated to convince others to never play the game. That's why I'm doing this.

Hope that helps clarify some things. Thank you so much for the input and questions.
-Vic

 

[shitass1001]

Fantastic points, and allow me to respond.

First note:
Very good point there, though things like Cecilia's mannequin scene and Ashley's flashback could easily go in Cecilia's Free Time for after you deal with her in the main story and choose the option that keeps her in your game, which is what will unlock her for free time.

Second note:
Ashley is Cecilia's sister. River is our petite little mostly nonverbal trans girl who is obsessed with Elven magic because it could finally make her what she's always wanted to be. Some people screamed and hollered because they were forced to share the same room with a "trap" and/or didn't get the option to turn her down completely rather than just waiting until she'd gone through the Rebirth Ceremony and was fully biologically female to begin courting her.

Third note:
I may just put a disclaimer that has an apology to the Irish people and keep her the way she is. It's the main thing that's holding me up on the rewrite, unless...

...

Fuck me, I just had an idea that justifies this whole goddamn thing and why she sounds so bad to real Irish people. Hold on, making notes. I may have just blow this wide open.

Fourth note:
Fantastic idea, and will definitely consider that in my list of options.

Last note:
Nothing in the rewrite will affect anything in Season 2. It's more about just pulling back on the sheer intensity of the negativity and "everyone hates men" atmosphere that people have complained about, plus inserting some choices where I failed to on my first run through. That's really it.


HELL no. Petra was just a fun secret unlock as an experiment to see how many people would enjoy a bit of extra side content and want to take the extra steps to unlock it. River and Cecilia are VERY prominent in the main story, unlike Petra who only exists in her own side story, so for characters like River and Cecilia, you will be given a very clear opt in/opt out choice for their romance route. Cecilia's will happen in Season 2, Episode 5, and River's should happen sometime soon after that.

Hope this helps answer some of your questions. I'm tempering my approach to the rewrite, and at this point it's probably going to feel more like putting extra polish into the game and adding some choices than an actual honest-to-goodness rewrite. Change a thing too much, and the original audience won't like it anymore. I'm VERY aware that I need to avoid that. And if, after I polish Season 1 up a bit, people still cry about it? Well, sorry, but my core audience loves it this way, and this way is the way it stays. This is the one and only time I'm doing this and it's only because there's enough outcry that I worry the first two chapters are heavy enough to really turn new players off to the point where they feel obligated to convince others to never play the game. That's why I'm doing this.

Hope that helps clarify some things. Thank you so much for the input and questions.
-Vic

I appreciate how open you are about the development of your game, its refreshing to see a dev so active in the community