VictorSeven

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Oct 14, 2019
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URGENT! Communication from Nook! (audio)

Using the Goblin mastery of Temporal Magic, Nook sent you a message. Is she okay?


waking (34).png

Patreon Supporters can listen to her message here:


 
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nzn

Member
Aug 9, 2019
399
237
me checking the game out for some inscrutable reason:
stalker yandere character in the prologue: it's fine, i'll just avoid her like the plage she is
oh shit unavoidable protagonist rape by a yandere in the fucking prologue without any dubious attempts to at all endear the character to the reader:

on the positive side while this seems mistagged at least there is no time to get invested in anything so there is that at least.
nothing agains those who like this just wish this was clearer in its approach or had the option of avoiding the damned yandere at the prologue at least. in any case best of luck with the game and all
 

VictorSeven

Active Member
Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
619
2,570
me checking the game out for some inscrutable reason:
stalker yandere character in the prologue: it's fine, i'll just avoid her like the plage she is
oh shit unavoidable protagonist rape by a yandere in the fucking prologue without any dubious attempts to at all endear the character to the reader:

on the positive side while this seems mistagged at least there is no time to get invested in anything so there is that at least.
nothing agains those who like this just wish this was clearer in its approach or had the option of avoiding the damned yandere at the prologue at least. in any case best of luck with the game and all
There was no rape. That's a mannequin. She's fantasizing. She stole his uniform and made a mannequin of him.

Sad that your tolerance is so low that you didn't even get to see her backstory and learn why she is the way she is. It's not mistagged at all. She's a critical part of Aurum's history and trauma, but overall has a relatively low amount of actual screen time compared to the wealth of other characters and archetypes. This is a slow burn, heavily emotional and romantic, story-driven game that happens to feature a few antagonists, because antagonists are what move a story forward. Without adversity, victory has nothing to compare itself to to be considered "good."

I get that Cecilia is a very polarizing character. Half the community wants her dead. Half the community wants a redemption arc. So as far as actually interacting with her, the community is gonna get to decide what happens to her. She'll be one of the few characters who ends up with a branching path where you'll decide, in-game, what happens to her. And based on that, you may never see her again.

Not sure what "some inscrutable reason" is supposed to mean, either. I've put years of my life into lovingly crafting one of the deepest and most emotionally touching stories that exists in modern H-games. This is a forum. Forums are for discussions. If you came in here just to whine and kick dirt in my face because there was one feature you didn't like, you're not gonna get very far. Try, I dunno, asking questions. Starting a discussion. Seeing how others feel, and maybe even asking the dev how much more Cecilia you have to suffer through (Spoiler, aside from the scene about her backstory, she only makes 1 more, brief appearance in Chapter 4 I believe). Don't come in here all outraged and cancel-culture-y. That's for people of low intelligence, and I have more faith in you than that.

So. Shall we have an adult conversation about this?
 

YogSothoth1982

Devoted Member
Jun 26, 2018
8,485
11,687
There was no rape. That's a mannequin. She's fantasizing. She stole his uniform and made a mannequin of him.
I haven't seen the scene, but I seem to remember that it was clearly not the MC but her imagination in action.

Sad that your tolerance is so low that you didn't even get to see her backstory and learn why she is the way she is. It's not mistagged at all. She's a critical part of Aurum's history and trauma, but overall has a relatively low amount of actual screen time compared to the wealth of other characters and archetypes. This is a slow burn, heavily emotional and romantic, story-driven game that happens to feature a few antagonists, because antagonists are what move a story forward. Without adversity, victory has nothing to compare itself to to be considered "good."

I get that Cecilia is a very polarizing character. Half the community wants her dead. Half the community wants a redemption arc. So as far as actually interacting with her, the community is gonna get to decide what happens to her. She'll be one of the few characters who ends up with a branching path where you'll decide, in-game, what happens to her. And based on that, you may never see her again.
Well, I don't want her to establish a romantic relationship (and if possible any kind) with the MC. It isn't necessary that she is dead, it's just as effective that she's locked up for life, in a deep coma, or any other way that takes her away from the MC forever. But I have to admit that death is attractively definitive in this case.

For me the problem with a redemption arc is that Cecilia, at the end of it, will end up in a romantic relationship with the MC. And this option doesn't interest me at all, I can understand that the MC forgives Cecilia, but never to the point of getting romantically involved with her.
 

VictorSeven

Active Member
Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
619
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I haven't seen the scene, but I seem to remember that it was clearly not the MC but her imagination in action.

Well, I don't want her to establish a romantic relationship (and if possible any kind) with the MC. It isn't necessary that she is dead, it's just as effective that she's locked up for life, in a deep coma, or any other way that takes her away from the MC forever. But I have to admit that death is attractively definitive in this case.

For me the problem with a redemption arc is that Cecilia, at the end of it, will end up in a romantic relationship with the MC. And this option doesn't interest me at all, I can understand that the MC forgives Cecilia, but never to the point of getting romantically involved with her.
And herein lies the concept of choice. The branching path. Heck, you could even choose the positive result for her, but never progress down the optional story path, so technically there are three choices. Some may even opt for that.

My point is, it IS important to me to know how people feel about the characters I write because it helps inform me of whether or not the character should mostly exist in optional sidequests. What's NOT important to me is knee-jerk emotional tantrums where people feel compelled to come in here and shit on me for something I worked hard on and obviously care a lot about. Do I take it personal? Absolutely. There's no reason to come in here and be rude and insulting. We're all adults here, and I'm open to adjusting things if stuff seems a little too intense. Like the Harpy scene. I thought of a great idea to make that one optional and just do a little rewriting of that part of the chapter. It's still in the game for those who want it. But I can easily include a choice to go back and never venture into the forest, and the Harpy scene will never happen if the player doesn't want it to.

Since Cecilia is a core part of Aurum's trauma and history, it IS necessary to showcase her as a danger. She IS a stalker, and in real life (trust me, I've had one, which is why I'm writing Cecilia this way), you don't get to just avoid them. But what I CAN do is make her more of a lurking, background threat rather than an in-your-face-and-ruining-your-game one. That's the current direction I'm going for.
 

nzn

Member
Aug 9, 2019
399
237
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but if it is your preference i'll keep my opinion to myself so as to not incite unnecessary conflict
for your post does not leave much room for a civil conversation instead of righteous indignation

What's NOT important to me is knee-jerk emotional tantrums where people feel compelled to come in here and shit on me for something I worked hard on and obviously care a lot about. Do I take it personal? Absolutely. There's no reason to come in here and be rude and insulting.
and you manage to read insults in my comment. good to know
 
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I am Gone

Well-Known Member
Jun 10, 2020
1,722
14,033
What's NOT important to me is knee-jerk emotional tantrums where people feel compelled to come in here and shit on me for something I worked hard on and obviously care a lot about. Do I take it personal? Absolutely. There's no reason to come in here and be rude and insulting.
Sadly you will run into this a lot, especially on this forum there are many who think they are owed everything and that these games should be made and written according to their likes and dislikes. Even though 97% never spent a dollar to support their devs. youve got to learn to separate the crap from those and focus on your fans.

Since Cecilia is a core part of Aurum's trauma and history, it IS necessary to showcase her as a danger. She IS a stalker, and in real life (trust me, I've had one, which is why I'm writing Cecilia this way), you don't get to just avoid them. But what I CAN do is make her more of a lurking, background threat rather than an in-your-face-and-ruining-your-game one. That's the current direction I'm going for.
lol, I can understand why some might not like Cecilia she's nuts and broken and not a lot of people can handle that kind of "Drama" in their life. I love broken and crazy(am one myself), I'm one of the ones that likes her ark and want to help her. Plus stories need plot devices to keep people interested and on their toes she does a really good job of that. :LUL:
 

Kionashi

Active Member
Jul 11, 2021
545
1,139
We're all adults here
that was your first mistake :KEK:

Honestly, I have a love-hate relationship with your work philosophy...In one hand I love how open you are to feedback and are willing to navigate trough a lot of comments to improve your game. In the other hand I don't want you to be TOO open to feedback, in the end this is your game, if you try to please everybody you could end up with an uninteresting middle of the road game without any sharp edge to avoid upsetting anybody or simply having a mess that tries to go in too many radical directions and ends up taking forever to complete. But hey, in the end I trust in your skills as a writter and game dev I know you will be able to navigate all those pitfalls
 

Mephistopoles

Newbie
Nov 24, 2019
54
50
if the adjustments are on a normal level and dont change the original story. than it should be fine.
vic already has the novel on his lap. with the adjustment he deepens the story of fan-loved characters. so the change/damage on the main story is minimal. its not like he is changing charaters in their traids/personality. i dont think he would fuck up his creation to the point that the story is drasticly changed.
its a nice thing to hear out the player of his game and maybe take one or two things of the stuff they want to see.
 

Bob Jared

Active Member
Sep 22, 2017
657
514
She'll be one of the few characters who ends up with a branching path where you'll decide, in-game, what happens to her. And based on that, you may never see her again.
This is exactly the direction I had hoped you would go with her. I'm the type who sees an emotionally damaged character in this kind of game and immediately wants to put in the effort to help them heal. As opposed to leaving them as is or killing them off.
 

YogSothoth1982

Devoted Member
Jun 26, 2018
8,485
11,687
And herein lies the concept of choice. The branching path. Heck, you could even choose the positive result for her, but never progress down the optional story path, so technically there are three choices. Some may even opt for that.
Well, depending on how the story evolves regarding Cecilia, I will prefer a definitive solution or a redemption without a romantic result. I'll see when the time comes.

My point is, it IS important to me to know how people feel about the characters I write because it helps inform me of whether or not the character should mostly exist in optional sidequests. What's NOT important to me is knee-jerk emotional tantrums where people feel compelled to come in here and shit on me for something I worked hard on and obviously care a lot about. Do I take it personal? Absolutely. There's no reason to come in here and be rude and insulting. We're all adults here, and I'm open to adjusting things if stuff seems a little too intense. Like the Harpy scene. I thought of a great idea to make that one optional and just do a little rewriting of that part of the chapter. It's still in the game for those who want it. But I can easily include a choice to go back and never venture into the forest, and the Harpy scene will never happen if the player doesn't want it to.
I have already commented in the past that I don't really like the harpy's scene. At the time I took advantage of the fact that I could skip it without having to see it, but, certainly, if it's possible that it doesn't happen, I prefer it.

Since Cecilia is a core part of Aurum's trauma and history, it IS necessary to showcase her as a danger. She IS a stalker, and in real life (trust me, I've had one, which is why I'm writing Cecilia this way), you don't get to just avoid them. But what I CAN do is make her more of a lurking, background threat rather than an in-your-face-and-ruining-your-game one. That's the current direction I'm going for.
The character is fine, I don't consider her a LI, but as an antagonist, it seems to me that she fulfills it with remarkable efficiency.
 

VictorSeven

Active Member
Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
619
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but if it is your preference i'll keep my opinion to myself so as to not incite unnecessary conflict
for your post does not leave much room for a civil conversation instead of righteous indignation


and you manage to read insults in my comment. good to know
Yes. YES. This is the kind of feedback that's useful to me. First off, tone is hard to read through text, and it really seemed like an emotional knee-jerk rant to me at first. So yeah, I felt insulted. Apologies if I misread you. I think it's less WHAT you said, but HOW you said it, as everything written in this response of yours comes off as constructive criticism and I very much appreciate it.

The point you make about pacing is a good one, and I will state that this is probably due to WCA being my very first Ren'Py game, or visual novel at all. That scene was written and shot over a year and a half ago, and my scenes have improved rapidly since then. I've had a lot of people asking me to revamp the beginning so the lighting and writing matches what we see in Week 2 and onward. Perhaps I'll make that a priority after I get Week 3 completed. Because you DO make a good point; the early chapters definitely have a "quick and dirty" feel to them. I felt pressured to meet a "quota" of H-content because I thought "this is a sex game; the players are here for the sex scenes." I was very afraid I would lose people's interest if I didn't sprinkle enough H-content in, and the pacing suffered for it. You can thank that for Gillie's H-scene early on, too. With my current knowledge, I would have paced that out far better. I feel like because I showed too much of Gillie in particular too soon, she became a low-value character instead of someone people are really waiting to see in action, romantically and otherwise.

I suppose the quick and dirty fix would be to add a bit about Cecilia in the disclaimer for now until I have a chance to go back and properly pace the scenes. I feel like it wouldn't be such a gut punch to a new player's experience if it wasn't a surprise. What are your thoughts on this?

And apologies for my tone. I'm not one to be a doormat, so when I feel like someone is swinging on me, I swing back. But I'd MUCH rather have a conversation like this.
 

VictorSeven

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Oct 14, 2019
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I have read your books now and I quite much liked them. I have some questions, and some minor criticism.

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Hey, thank you so much for your interest and feedback! Answers below.

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VictorSeven

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June Progress Report: Build 2.5 (v. 0.1.5.5)


I have gotten SO much work done on this thing since last we spoke, my friends. And I have some exciting new things to share with you.

1654240335548.png

Let's get right down to it. I am 8 scenes away from finishing this next build, which will be end of Sunday through Wednesday of the next week. The build AFTER this will be Thursday through Sunday.

Most of these 8 scenes are already scripted. I just need to shoot them and score them, then bug test them. There are 2 scenes that are partially or mostly written, and one extra scene that I thought up recently that is not written yet.

I have mostly been spending this time working on getting the texting system to look and feel good. Previously, it was really blocky text that was hard to read, and you just kind of sat there until the convo was over. Now, the text looks much better, I introduced response choices so you can pick what you say once in a while, and the girls can even send you PICS! THAT'S RIGHT! PICS! That's gotta be the best part. I nailed the resolutions of the pics in portrait and landscape that would fit in the texting system on the first goddamn try. So I'm absolutely PSYCHED about that.

1654240351806.png

I've been trying to think up more Patreon extras to reward people for supporting the project, and it turns out the audio file from Nook was a huge success. Everyone loved getting to hear her voice, and more importantly, confirmation that she's okay. I'll have to commission more of these soon. Maybe Aoibheann with her soft Northern Irish accent, or Wither with her cute broken English might be next. I've had other ideas, like getting a handwritten letter from River, or a mysterious contact from an unrevealed character. The Patrons have also come up with several new, amazing designs for characters that I'm determined to put into the game at some point. I'll detail those here.

1654240369637.png

First, we have Venrae, a short, felinesque little hardbody with an aggressive personality. Tomboyish, agile, and fond of teasing.

1654240380774.png

At first glance, you might think she has a lot in common with our beloved Jade, but you'd only be partially right. Venrae's style is more of a hit-and-run style, and she has fun catching people off-guard.

1654240397012.png

Next, who would have guessed... another Goblin! This community never seems to get tired of Goblins, and wanted to put together another short stack for the masses. This year's model is named Nichiri. Don't let those big, innocent teal eyes fool you. She's a little shit. The community was in Discord with me when we came up with her idea, and there ended up being two versions of her. The above is her casual form. The below is her formal form.

1654240411737.png

The Discord community loved her so much that I'm determined to get her in the game at some point.

Finally, we have our most recent character, one that the Discord dreamed up only about a week ago, and everyone is going absolutely APESHIT over her. One of the users said that his only weaknesses were Onis and Lolis. My remark was, "See, now you're making me want to combine those two things." The discussion devolved into excited ideas, and well... Amanozako was born.

1654240433133.png

At first, I was very distressed, as I couldn't find the signature Kanabo or the giant prayer bead necklace. I also didn't quite find the super long Tengu sandles, either, but then I saw the giant nodachi and magatama necklace and went, 'YESSSSS.'

1654240444771.png

These are all just ideas right now, and will most likely make their way into the game as optional character routes. I ended up having one of the mainstream characters set up as sort of a point-of-contact for nonhumans who aren't students, who are kind of stuck in this world. It's a great setup for after we get through the Janitor and Security arc into the Counselor arc of the game, because then, Aurum will be working for the World's Crossing Academy itself and have his own office. But we have a LONG way to go before we get there, so one step at a time.

As the game expands and all these cool new character ideas come up, I realize it may take me longer and longer to release updates. At this point, I am considering taking contributions from fellow writers, or even adding another person to Team EmberWings to help me work on the game by writing scenes for side characters. I'm still on the fence about this, but if anyone is interested in this, is familiar with Atom, and especially if you have experience with StudioNEO, drop me a line and let's talk. More frequent updates is a HUGE goal of mine.

Thank you all for your patience! I hope this build has enough content to keep everyone satisfied for a little while. I'm hoping to release it soon. Just gotta finish these scenes. I welcome any questions and ideas! Let me know if any of these three new characters really piques your interest! I'd love to know who the favorite is.

-Vic
 

Bob Jared

Active Member
Sep 22, 2017
657
514
Finally, we have our most recent character, one that the Discord dreamed up only about a week ago, and everyone is going absolutely APESHIT over her. One of the users said that his only weaknesses were Onis and Lolis. My remark was, "See, now you're making me want to combine those two things." The discussion devolved into excited ideas, and well... Amanozako was born.

View attachment 1847287
Isn't the main difference between Oni and other types of demons usually the location of the horn? (i.e. middle of the forehead)
 
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VictorSeven

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Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
619
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Isn't the main difference between Oni and other types of demons usually the location of the horn? (i.e. middle of the forehead)
As far as I'm aware, Oni typically have two horns, one on either side of the forehead. I decided to craft Amanozako with a missing horn, giving her an asymmetrical appearance, as I thought it would be a fun part of her story and a reason for her to be in our world instead of hers.
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Bob Jared

Active Member
Sep 22, 2017
657
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As far as I'm aware, Oni typically have two horns, one on either side of the forehead. I decided to craft Amanozako with a missing horn, giving her an asymmetrical appearance, as I thought it would be a fun part of her story and a reason for her to be in our world instead of hers.
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:unsure:Maybe I just assumed based on the shear number of Oni with a single horn on their forehead that I've encountered in jrpgs and anime/manga. (plus maybe a desire for them to be more exotic instead of just another demon)
 
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GraveXMachina

Active Member
Jun 9, 2020
838
830
June Progress Report: Build 2.5 (v. 0.1.5.5)


I have gotten SO much work done on this thing since last we spoke, my friends. And I have some exciting new things to share with you.

View attachment 1847278

Let's get right down to it. I am 8 scenes away from finishing this next build, which will be end of Sunday through Wednesday of the next week. The build AFTER this will be Thursday through Sunday.

Most of these 8 scenes are already scripted. I just need to shoot them and score them, then bug test them. There are 2 scenes that are partially or mostly written, and one extra scene that I thought up recently that is not written yet.

I have mostly been spending this time working on getting the texting system to look and feel good. Previously, it was really blocky text that was hard to read, and you just kind of sat there until the convo was over. Now, the text looks much better, I introduced response choices so you can pick what you say once in a while, and the girls can even send you PICS! THAT'S RIGHT! PICS! That's gotta be the best part. I nailed the resolutions of the pics in portrait and landscape that would fit in the texting system on the first goddamn try. So I'm absolutely PSYCHED about that.

View attachment 1847279

I've been trying to think up more Patreon extras to reward people for supporting the project, and it turns out the audio file from Nook was a huge success. Everyone loved getting to hear her voice, and more importantly, confirmation that she's okay. I'll have to commission more of these soon. Maybe Aoibheann with her soft Northern Irish accent, or Wither with her cute broken English might be next. I've had other ideas, like getting a handwritten letter from River, or a mysterious contact from an unrevealed character. The Patrons have also come up with several new, amazing designs for characters that I'm determined to put into the game at some point. I'll detail those here.

View attachment 1847280

First, we have Venrae, a short, felinesque little hardbody with an aggressive personality. Tomboyish, agile, and fond of teasing.

View attachment 1847281

At first glance, you might think she has a lot in common with our beloved Jade, but you'd only be partially right. Venrae's style is more of a hit-and-run style, and she has fun catching people off-guard.

View attachment 1847282

Next, who would have guessed... another Goblin! This community never seems to get tired of Goblins, and wanted to put together another short stack for the masses. This year's model is named Nichiri. Don't let those big, innocent teal eyes fool you. She's a little shit. The community was in Discord with me when we came up with her idea, and there ended up being two versions of her. The above is her casual form. The below is her formal form.

View attachment 1847284

The Discord community loved her so much that I'm determined to get her in the game at some point.

Finally, we have our most recent character, one that the Discord dreamed up only about a week ago, and everyone is going absolutely APESHIT over her. One of the users said that his only weaknesses were Onis and Lolis. My remark was, "See, now you're making me want to combine those two things." The discussion devolved into excited ideas, and well... Amanozako was born.

View attachment 1847287

At first, I was very distressed, as I couldn't find the signature Kanabo or the giant prayer bead necklace. I also didn't quite find the super long Tengu sandles, either, but then I saw the giant nodachi and magatama necklace and went, 'YESSSSS.'

View attachment 1847288

These are all just ideas right now, and will most likely make their way into the game as optional character routes. I ended up having one of the mainstream characters set up as sort of a point-of-contact for nonhumans who aren't students, who are kind of stuck in this world. It's a great setup for after we get through the Janitor and Security arc into the Counselor arc of the game, because then, Aurum will be working for the World's Crossing Academy itself and have his own office. But we have a LONG way to go before we get there, so one step at a time.

As the game expands and all these cool new character ideas come up, I realize it may take me longer and longer to release updates. At this point, I am considering taking contributions from fellow writers, or even adding another person to Team EmberWings to help me work on the game by writing scenes for side characters. I'm still on the fence about this, but if anyone is interested in this, is familiar with Atom, and especially if you have experience with StudioNEO, drop me a line and let's talk. More frequent updates is a HUGE goal of mine.

Thank you all for your patience! I hope this build has enough content to keep everyone satisfied for a little while. I'm hoping to release it soon. Just gotta finish these scenes. I welcome any questions and ideas! Let me know if any of these three new characters really piques your interest! I'd love to know who the favorite is.

-Vic
Oh no...short haired athletic tomboys!!
My biggest weakness!!

And the oni is awesome aas well.
 
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4.50 star(s) 34 Votes