What's he doing remakes?
Not really necessary, but I'll play the beginning again for the 50th time.
Any renders at least of the new stuff coming on the next update?
Just how long can that update be when finally released once every 2 years, 1TB?
I hope you're all enjoying your holidays if you celebrate them and I hope you all have a wonderful new years.
I really wish I had better news to share today about how this past month and a half has gone. I do not have a good excuse. I won't try to rationalize the irrational so I'll just quickly summarize things.
I received negative feedback alongside issues in testing, then I was sick for a few weeks and really got into my own head about everything. Thinking about how differently I wanted this year to go, a lot of small things added up and after Thanksgiving I ended up in a bit of a depressive and dissociative state. I tried to power through it and it made things worse. I didn't know how to talk about it publicly and I still don't want to go into detail about it but I should have given you guys a heads up.
I didn't intend to be as silent for as long as I was. I wanted to have something concrete to share or at least good news of some kind
I also didn't want to end up writing another goal list for the new year or anything like that which I'm prone to do when I'm in a bit of a manic state. Last year's was written in one and I didn't accomplish a single thing on it. Had a lot to do with me coping that my mental struggles were mostly attributed to E13 and then having to face that they weren't after it was released. I am in therapy, I am working on it but it's frustrating.
But like I said, not a good excuse. I am feeling better, at least not struggling to get out of bed or anything. Things are moving again but I did lose time.
I've been considering releasing the update in parts just to have something out, but with my history and everything I know how that looks. And honestly, I'm not sure what I will do. Cutting it up feels like another coping strategy just to get some of the pressure off.
I was considering releasing the first 3 scenes which would be around 700 renders and 20 animations, but there's also a part of me that wants to see it through.
I initially planned to release Day 37 scene by scene after E13 was finally finished, but decided against that as I wanted to address my mental struggles. Honestly not giving them the respect they deserved, thinking it was something I could fix by taking some meds and a few sessions. Just overall foolish.
All that to say, I'm not in a mental state to make hard claims about anything right now. There were issues in testing, mostly with the content not technical. That's why the render count dropped a bit, just removed a bit of the bloat. I'm working on the issues, and I'll make those decisions when things or at least sections are fully finished.
Aside from that, I'll be releasing the rest of the A-H character sheets very soon. Alongside this report I'm also posting a new client poll. Polls will also be held on discord so former patrons can also vote. Though I'm uncertain exactly how I'll combine the votes given that double votes are possible.
The last client we were making, Juliana. She has not been forgotten, she has a planned entry into the story but she has details that need to be ironed out. To avoid confusion Juliana's polls will be held only on Discord while the new client will be held on both.
I do intend to have reports often again, though given my mental struggles and how they can hit differently day to day. I don't want to set a designated day for them and there will be weeks that I miss.
I do want to reiterate that there is no necessity to be a patron or subscriber right now. It is only to support me currently. All former patrons / subs will have access to every bit of content from E14. Alongside the side stuff like client polls and character sheets.
The only requirement is that you're in the discord (Link your discord to your account and the bot should add you), or you can DM me and I can send you the links to the content.
With all of that said, I want to once again apologize for my absence.
If you celebrate the holidays I hope you have amazing ones. I truly wish I had better news to share today and it's embarrassing and frustrating to myself that I don't. So I'm sure it is for you too and I am truly sorry about that.
But thank you guys for sticking around with me, I'm trying... failing but trying.
Thank you all for everything, and I'll talk to you all soon. ❤
" He's gonna claim this month was really hard, with family having a brawl at Thanksgiving ,"
Here is what he said
" a lot of small things added up and after Thanksgiving I ended up in a bit of a depressive and dissociative state."
So he DID use the holiday as an excuse . I should really get a least a point for calling out he's use the hoilday as a excuse. Sad thing is, I was fucking kidding Braindrop. You didn't' have to read my joke post and go "Oh fuck, that's a good one, I could totally use the holiday as an excuse. Thanks Mark!"
I do get it, holidays can be rough for SOME people. Yet this guy seems to "ALWAYS" have a rough time, year round, so holidays being rough isn't' a vailed excuse for him.
We all know it's a bullshit report, kicking the can down the road , so he can have fucking fellow brain dead losers to keep sending money past Christmas and into the new year.
Do nothing, write a bullshit report where you say "My mental health" and or crazy story , get paid, rinse and repeat.
Well that does it for me. No more comments this month.
I hope you're all enjoying your holidays if you celebrate them and I hope you all have a wonderful new years.
I really wish I had better news to share today about how this past month and a half has gone. I do not have a good excuse. I won't try to rationalize the irrational so I'll just quickly summarize things.
I received negative feedback alongside issues in testing, then I was sick for a few weeks and really got into my own head about everything. Thinking about how differently I wanted this year to go, a lot of small things added up and after Thanksgiving I ended up in a bit of a depressive and dissociative state. I tried to power through it and it made things worse. I didn't know how to talk about it publicly and I still don't want to go into detail about it but I should have given you guys a heads up.
I didn't intend to be as silent for as long as I was. I wanted to have something concrete to share or at least good news of some kind
I also didn't want to end up writing another goal list for the new year or anything like that which I'm prone to do when I'm in a bit of a manic state. Last year's was written in one and I didn't accomplish a single thing on it. Had a lot to do with me coping that my mental struggles were mostly attributed to E13 and then having to face that they weren't after it was released. I am in therapy, I am working on it but it's frustrating.
But like I said, not a good excuse. I am feeling better, at least not struggling to get out of bed or anything. Things are moving again but I did lose time.
I've been considering releasing the update in parts just to have something out, but with my history and everything I know how that looks. And honestly, I'm not sure what I will do. Cutting it up feels like another coping strategy just to get some of the pressure off.
I was considering releasing the first 3 scenes which would be around 700 renders and 20 animations, but there's also a part of me that wants to see it through.
I initially planned to release Day 37 scene by scene after E13 was finally finished, but decided against that as I wanted to address my mental struggles. Honestly not giving them the respect they deserved, thinking it was something I could fix by taking some meds and a few sessions. Just overall foolish.
All that to say, I'm not in a mental state to make hard claims about anything right now. There were issues in testing, mostly with the content not technical. That's why the render count dropped a bit, just removed a bit of the bloat. I'm working on the issues, and I'll make those decisions when things or at least sections are fully finished.
Aside from that, I'll be releasing the rest of the A-H character sheets very soon. Alongside this report I'm also posting a new client poll. Polls will also be held on discord so former patrons can also vote. Though I'm uncertain exactly how I'll combine the votes given that double votes are possible.
The last client we were making, Juliana. She has not been forgotten, she has a planned entry into the story but she has details that need to be ironed out. To avoid confusion Juliana's polls will be held only on Discord while the new client will be held on both.
I do intend to have reports often again, though given my mental struggles and how they can hit differently day to day. I don't want to set a designated day for them and there will be weeks that I miss.
I do want to reiterate that there is no necessity to be a patron or subscriber right now. It is only to support me currently. All former patrons / subs will have access to every bit of content from E14. Alongside the side stuff like client polls and character sheets.
The only requirement is that you're in the discord (Link your discord to your account and the bot should add you), or you can DM me and I can send you the links to the content.
With all of that said, I want to once again apologize for my absence.
If you celebrate the holidays I hope you have amazing ones. I truly wish I had better news to share today and it's embarrassing and frustrating to myself that I don't. So I'm sure it is for you too and I am truly sorry about that.
But thank you guys for sticking around with me, I'm trying... failing but trying.
Thank you all for everything, and I'll talk to you all soon. ❤
I hope everyone pools together and help BD with more money during this tough time. Mental health is no joke, it's costly treatment. Again, asking everyone to give whatever they can.
