Ren'Py Completed A Few Days [Final Bugfixed] [Mickydoo]

[Trasher2018]

Probably one of the worst starts of a game I have seen (without the whole game being a complete mess).

You get no context about the MC, where he is, why he is there and anything else. The dialog in the morning is the perfect example. It could be a fun situation but it is only a cringe fest bc we dont really know what is happening.

In that scene alone you could add a name for the town (instead of "Why are you here anyway ..." - "Why are you in XYZ anyway...") - or the easy way and just add an introduction "You are a bla bla and were sent to XYZ to investigate .... "

Im just at the start but I still dont know nothing. Charlies says we are on holiday, but the landlord said we were sent there - and we dont want that everybode knows that we are a private detective, but everybody know that and the MC says it to everybody. Why were the MC where he was the night before? - When has he arrived? (I guess at least 1-3 days bc of the yogurt?).
Why does Charlie know (she heard it) that the other girl is missing when her dad has not mentioned anything to the police because he is unsure? Then there was even a cop involved ...

Then we have this "free roam" (as free roam as 99% of them, but it does not hide the pure linearity of it) system that no one needs. It just adds to a feeling of disconnection, because you spend no time with any character. They are just images you see for a few seconds and drop some lines, then they are gone.

And when your first task is "Go and a key from Dale" - you wonder how much care went into the game...

Then you get phrases like "what is a big city detective doing here?" or "in a small town like this" - then when Charlie is follwoing you to the Girls backyard (or smth like that) you get a "Ok but it might be dangerous, never know in a big city like this."

What is it? A small town or a big city? - that's what I mean you get no feeling for the world you are in. Everything is disconnected and arbitrary. The game is not able to explain its world to the player and what is happening.

And after meeting Maggie I dropped the game...that was enough time and the game was not able to at least start a story and introduce any of its characters. Because then the MC knows the name of the Detective, but she never told him her name .. she gave him her card, but that doesnt help the player.

The game "mechanics" dont help the game, because because they hinder the game flow and the writing combined with the "mechanic" all add to a disconnected feeling and you dont get pulled into the game.

 

[cbsx]

"you wonder how much care went into the game..."

Not really, I never thought that while playing it, but then didn't I quit after meeting Maggie either, I suppose.

I mean the dev comes right out and explains his decisions for the mechanics right in the game as they're introduced. The writing and story flow are completely serviceable compared to what I've experienced in other games, and the humor is excellent at times.

"They are just images you see for a few seconds and drop some lines, then they are gone."

<Checks thread tags...> [VN][Ren'Py]

Yup, it's a Ren'py VN... images displayed momentarily with some lines of text to read... legit, checks out.

 

[mickydoo]

You get no context about the MC, where he is, why he is there and anything else. The dialog in the morning is the perfect example. It could be a fun situation but it is only a cringe fest bc we dont really know what is happening.

If I explained why he is there there would be know need to play the rest of the game.

In that scene alone you could add a name for the town

I had not thought of the name then

Im just at the start but I still dont know nothing. Charlies says we are on holiday, but the landlord said we were sent there - and we dont want that everybode knows that we are a private detective, but everybody know that and the MC says it to everybody

Worlds worst kept secret

Why were the MC where he was the night before? - When has he arrived? (I guess at least 1-3 days bc of the yogurt?).

The night before, or else he would of run in to Charlie before that morning

It just adds to a feeling of disconnection, because you spend no time with any character. They are just images you see for a few seconds and drop some lines, then they are gone.

They are pretty though

And when your first task is "Go and a key from Dale" - you wonder how much care went into the game

More than yours

Then you get phrases like "what is a big city detective doing here?" or "in a small town like this" - then when Charlie is follwoing you to the Girls backyard (or smth like that) you get a "Ok but it might be dangerous, never know in a big city like this."

Sarcasm

The game is not able to explain its world to the player and what is happening.

Again, if I explained it all before meeting Maggie, everyone would stop playing it

Because then the MC knows the name of the Detective, but she never told him her name .. she gave him her card, but that doesnt help the player.

Her name is on the card, and her phone number, he rings her multiple times, after meeting Maggie.....

The game "mechanics" dont help the game, because because they hinder the game flow and the writing combined with the "mechanic" all add to a disconnected feeling and you dont get pulled into the game.

It's rather slow until Maggie

 

[Trasher2018]

If I explained why he is there there would be know need to play the rest of the game.

Then it is poor planning and writing. You can have a mystery without keeping the player in total darkness.

We ARE the MC and should know what he knows - at least when he has no amnesia (that is one of the reasons so many use that boring trope).

And when it might get better after you meet Maggie, maybe drop the mechanics until then and keep it streamlined and focus on worldbuilding in that part and to flesh out the characters.

They are pretty though

That is a matter of taste - I dont find them pretty enough to just work as eye candy.

Sarcasm

That didnt work for me - maybe you can make that more obvious.
You may have a better picture of you characters at that point, but I as a player know nothing about them and then something like sarcasm is hard to understand. Especially when you dont have a good picture of the surrounding and the world you are in.

Again, if I explained it all before meeting Maggie, everyone would stop playing it

Why? - You have to remember that the player knows nothing who he is, where he is and in what world. What has another character to do with the understanding of our character we play and the world he is living in?

But it is ok - when you are fine with your work and dont think you could improve anything - good for you.

 

[cbsx]

But it is ok - when you are fine with your work and dont think you could improve anything - good for you.

Never seen Mickydoo take that stance on the game... what he did do was throw up a shield though.

You seem to be operating on the assumption that what you started off with here was constructive criticism... being condescending and attacking someone's intelligence is not constructive. All it does is immediately put them on the defensive.

You also seem to enjoy using the royal "we" and "you" to speak for others. I, also a player, did not have nearly the difficulty discerning the sarcasm, humor and setting references in the game that you did. It seems a bit presumptuous to invoke 'we the players', as I said previously, I quite enjoyed it.

It's a bit surprising to see someone with such a high post/like ratio to go for the curb stomp method out of no where like that.

I hope you feel better getting all that off your chest or shoulders or wherever you were storing it up...

 

[mickydoo]

I have made a public patron post

You must be registered to see the links

 

[Trasher2018]

You seem to be operating on the assumption that what you started off with here was constructive criticism... being condescending and attacking someone's intelligence is not constructive. All it does is immediately put them on the defensive.

Where do I attack someones intelligence? - If I did so, it was not intentional.

When I mention bad writing, that does not mean I think the writer is stupid or I assume that he/she is unskilled. But it is not uncommon that you forget that you always know more than the player and it can be challenging to place yourself in the firsttime readers position.

And the start "Probably one of the worst starts of a game I have seen (without the whole game being a complete mess)." - was maybe an exaggeration, but I was so lost and confused (maybe by intention, but it didn't felt good to me) that I had to point it out. I even tried to soften the blow with the ( ) part - because I dont think that this is a mess of a game.

You also seem to enjoy using the royal "we" and "you" to speak for others. I, also a player, did not have nearly the difficulty discerning the sarcasm, humor and setting references in the game that you did. It seems a bit presumptuous to invoke 'we the players', as I said previously, I quite enjoyed it.

Thanks for the constructive criticism with the "we" - haven't thought about it that way.

I hope you feel better getting all that off your chest or shoulders or wherever you were storing it up...

I haven't stored anything - from my pov it was just some points that pulled me out of the game while playing.

By my understanding I can always only point out my own opinion and cant speak for other ppl. That's why I thank you for the mentioning of the "we" issue - that is indeed a bad habit I should get rid off *blush* - But my English is not *that* great, so I try to blame my "rudimentary" knowledge of the language. *g*

Games that I just "hate", I dont bother to write about them. When I do write something it is because I think that there is a nice game in it, but imho is wasting potential. And here I do think that the missing exposition is hurting the game and is exacerbated by the gameplay mechanic. Because in addition to the very short interactions with the characters and the lack of understanding of the setting you have a (at that point) pointless mechanic.

I think a pure VN start could benefit the game and when you add the mechanics at a point where you have more than 1 option to choose from. Maybe it is just me, but I dont like games that "burden" me with pointless mechanics that only are there to just have them.

 

[mickydoo]

I think a pure VN start could benefit the game and when you add the mechanics at a point where you have more than 1 option to choose from. Maybe it is just me, but I dont like games that "burden" me with pointless mechanics that only are there to just have them.

And there is 10 other ppl who get bored with just walls of text and nothing to do. The idea of the simple introduction of the game mechanics is to show the player that there is in fact game mechanics. One of my favourite mainstream games I have ever played is Alan Wake and one of the worst is Metal Gear Solid (I think, the one with Snake in it). The former told you the story and the background as the you moved around the game, so you slowly learned things as the game progressed. The latter was hitting the x button on the ps2 over and over to skip the line after line of fucking dribble he was on about. Its the same with H-games, I skip walls of text because it is usually just some amateurish gibberish from a wannabe Booker prize candidate, like me . I can read page after page of Stephan King, some amateur dev not so much. Point being, I cannot make something that you will enjoy and cbsx will equally enjoy, I don't like Being a Dik yet I liked Big Brother which annoyed most ppl. At the end of the day, all I can do is make something I like, that's not being condescending, that's the only way I know 100% someone likes it.

 

[Trasher2018]

And there is 10 other ppl who get bored with just walls of text and nothing to do. The idea of the simple introduction of the game mechanics is to show the player that there is in fact game mechanics. One of my favourite mainstream games I have ever played is Alan Wake and one of the worst is Metal Gear Solid (I think, the one with Snake in it). The former told you the story and the background as the you moved around the game, so you slowly learned things as the game progressed. The latter was hitting the x button on the ps2 over and over to skip the line after line of fucking dribble he was on about. Its the same with H-games, I skip walls of text because it is usually just some amateurish gibberish from a wannabe Booker prize candidate, like me . I can read page after page of Stephan King, some amateur dev not so much. Point being, I cannot make something that you will enjoy and cbsx will equally enjoy, I don't like Being a Dik yet I liked Big Brother which annoyed most ppl. At the end of the day, all I can do is make something I like, that's not being condescending, that's the only way I know 100% someone likes it.

And that is totally ok
As I said, it is just my opinion. And as I said, as long as you are fine with your game and like it the way it is - great

To just add to your example - never played any of these two games ^^ - But to have an unfolding storyline with little information you still need some anchors for the player. I guess in Alan Wake you know where the protagonist is heading and why (at least an obvious reason, there can always be something hidden in the dark) and who he is. In your game I have nothing like that. I dont know where I am and who I am. You have no time to meet other characters - they just come and go.

There is a line between walls of text and not enough text - that is hard part and hard to hit. I played "Rise of the White Flower" yesterday and it looks nice and has a nice setting with a lot of world building, but the text ... oh man. Its very well written and all of that, but it is SO much - and way to few drawings.

My point is - as you said, you cant please everyone and I dont want that you rebuild your whole game just to please me But maybe you will think about it and later on you revisit your game start and try to flesh it out a bit, without spoiling the possible twists and mysteries of your story.

 

[mickydoo]

And that is totally ok
As I said, it is just my opinion. And as I said, as long as you are fine with your game and like it the way it is - great

To just add to your example - never played any of these two games ^^ - But to have an unfolding storyline with little information you still need some anchors for the player. I guess in Alan Wake you know where the protagonist is heading and why (at least an obvious reason, there can always be something hidden in the dark) and who he is. In your game I have nothing like that. I dont know where I am and who I am. You have no time to meet other characters - they just come and go.

There is a line between walls of text and not enough text - that is hard part and hard to hit. I played "Rise of the White Flower" yesterday and it looks nice and has a nice setting with a lot of world building, but the text ... oh man. Its very well written and all of that, but it is SO much - and way to few drawings.

My point is - as you said, you cant please everyone and I dont want that you rebuild your whole game just to please me But maybe you will think about it and later on you revisit your game start and try to flesh it out a bit, without spoiling the possible twists and mysteries of your story.

Another thing to remember with any game from a solo Dev, there are three aspects to a game, story, renders and coding, you can not be good at all three. I can spin a good "yarn", I know that, I'm 50, I'm Australian, I have been all around the country, I'm an outgoing person, my real name is Mick, wife calls me Mick have a chat. But I never finished year 10 of high school and never payed much attention when I was there. My coding after 3 years is still as I call it, a 10 year olds level of coding, I have nearly hit a limit on what my brain will allow me to learn on that front. The renders though, be they good or bad, I absolutely love doing them, well more to the point, I like making females, I spend hours on them sometimes, never tires me, never get bored, love them or loath them, you wont find another the same as they are all hand made outside of DAZ, not saying I am good at it, but rather good at doing it. Trust me if I could just get away with making females and no game mechanics or story and just have them looking at screen doing nothing i would.

 

[cbsx]

Where do I attack someones intelligence? - If I did so, it was not intentional.

Thanks for the constructive criticism with the "we" - haven't thought about it that way.

I haven't stored anything - from my pov it was just some points that pulled me out of the game while playing.

Fair enough, I get where you're coming from, it just seemed like you felt a need to go h a r d ...
I guess 'intelligence' may have been the wrong word, but the one thing that kinda stuck with me as I was responding was the:

" And when your first task is "Go and a key from Dale" - you wonder how much care went into the game... "

Knowing a few devs working on one-dev projects, it was kind of a low blow considering how much time is involved and the number of skills at work when they're trying to do everything. Micky's response to it kind of mirrored my own thoughts...

Anyway... I think we're all in a better place today I think a lot of Micky's humor can be lost if the subtlety in facial expression or body language queues that go a long with it are missed... I had to roll back a couple of times because I didn't understand a line of text only to find out that it was supposed to be the way it was and a head tilt or widening of the eyes is what gave it away. The apartment intruder and aunt scenes spring to mind.

I need to play again. It's been a while.

 

[Yves69]

I think a lot of Micky's humor can be lost if the subtlety in facial expression or body language queues that go a long with it are missed... I had to roll back a couple of times because I didn't understand a line of text only to find out that it was supposed to be the way it was and a head tilt or widening of the eyes is what gave it away. The apartment intruder and aunt scenes spring to mind.

I think that is exactly the problem, that most non-natives don't get the humor and don't get the banter and then get completely confused. Which you can't compensate, because when they missed the joke they missed the joke.

And when they then start 'giving advice' or saying things like 'at least the language is easy' it is simply because they didn't get it.

I fear this could only be helped with a non-native version that adds a (funny!) after each and every (joke!) or (irony!) or (stupidly funny!). You know, I still wonder about the first time meeting the model: when he thinks 'She likes me', is it a simple joke, or did he not get her being not too interested and is just dense (detective stupid! Haha) or did she actually flirt (and not just habitually) (mixed signals! Up to interpretation!) ... and I really don't know if I want to know. But that's me.

For the rest of 'us': when was the last time you were laughing out loud when you played a porn game? For me it was 'A Few Days' (4 times in my last replay) and before that it was 'Hustle Town'. What a unique talent! Thank you!

I admit, though, that the proof-reading could be better. Should I volunteer? I think I know very well where the problems lie (non-native myself), but I am not sure it would help. As I wrote: when they missed the joke they missed the joke.

 

[mickydoo]

Just to address the a couple of things from constructive criticism (which is always more than welcome.)

Hrm... why does it seem like alot of the girls have waaay too much concealer on?

Maybe its the lighting but girls faces look like they have veeeery uneven skintone to me.

Its a bit of both, I make the skins from actual photos, its an old sims2 method, probably not the best thing for DAZ anyway. Issue is they always have more light on their face than anywhere else, its always annoyed me too yet no one has said anything til now so I was unsure how much of an issue it was. My lighting setup uses every trick in the book, not to get the best lighting, but to get it really good really quickly, or you end up fucking about for two hours on one scene. I have been playing with a different style of lighting and have put the skins in photoshop and fucked with them a bit, so I hope its better.

Well I'm glad my mom is not taking care of my nephew today, I muted all sound and the game still has sex sounds on for some reason. I'll mute Ren'Py on the sound mixer but that could have landed me in trouble 2 days ago. Today not in the middle of the night would have at worst being embarrassing at least.



Edit: Kinda forgot to say which scene I meant in case it is an insolated occurrence, the one with Maggie against the mirror. Just started playing the game.

Well I'm glad my mom is not taking care of my nephew today, I muted all sound and the game still has sex sounds on for some reason. I'll mute Ren'Py on the sound mixer but that could have landed me in trouble 2 days ago. Today not in the middle of the night would have at worst being embarrassing at least.



Edit: Kinda forgot to say which scene I meant in case it is an insolated occurrence, the one with Maggie against the mirror. Just started playing the game.

I rip the sound from amateur porn, so finding something that works and cutting the little bit out takes time, I will try to include the audio separately in this release, no promises though as I don't know how it work and it will only be for the ones I am currently working on.

 

[cxx]

as long as chars aren't walking lightbulbs like in hs games no problems.

 

[Boehser Onkel]

0x52_URM cheats

respect/like stats

extract attached file to *\game folder
!always save before edit!

how to use : https://f95zone.to/threads/universal-renpy-mod-1-2-mod-any-renpy-game-yourself.48025/

open mod with alt+m
click the little open folder icon right upper
load a urm. file

i recommend always to play the game one time without cheats to understand gamemechanics

mod should work with future updates

this mod does not modify any game files

!use at own risk! - dont complain to dev´s /modder about broken saves/gamestates
(look for a updated 0x52_urm.rpa file every month or 2 at link above, thanks to 0x52 )

 

[hardace]

I am seriously bored with reading Trasher's walls of text. Dude, here's how F95 works ... If you don't like it, move on. There are 35,000 games for you on this site. All free, by the way. I am certain you will find something you like better. But instead, you decide to waste everyone's time. Let the dev work his craft.

Yes, by the way, I get your name. It's so juvenile, it's almost cute (but not quite).

 

[HogRocket]

Just to address the a couple of things from constructive criticism (which is always more than welcome.)

Constructive criticism? are you sure you're on F95zone? are you high? This is the forum of whiny bitching!!

(Just kidding, I know there's lots of great people with legitimate feedback that make up for the entitled whiny-ass trolls)

MY constructive and always helpful criticism is don't worry so much about the skin tone and take too much development time correcting it, just retcon everyone to being vampires and leave them washed out and soldier on with the story!! There, problem solved - you're welcome. . I'd let Charlie or Casey suck my........blood any day

 

[somebodynobody]

I would request that somewhere on the screen you have it noted what version of the game the player is playing.

I found a bug, but I can't tell if this is an old game version and thus you may have fixed it.

Anyways the bug is going to notes and clicking on "My brother may be an ass letter"

 

[mickydoo]

I would request that somewhere on the screen you have it noted what version of the game the player is playing.

I found a bug, but I can't tell if this is an old game version and thus you may have fixed it.

Anyways the bug is going to notes and clicking on "My brother may be an ass letter"

Yeah good idea about version number.

I am aware of that bug, I dunno what I did there, on another screen it doesn't happen, just don't click on it

 

[Gorse]

just don't click on it

Generally a great advice for life (as for... the shiny link in spam emails or the fire alarm button in a public building...)

Cool game btw, man! I'm always up for a nice story with the deal of attention to the right (or left) "click" and some sweet spices.

Yep, there are some wee flaws as

• some rushed typos (in the heat of the moment for sure),
• the somewhat puzzling introduction at the very start (maybe you can add a clear hint to the flashback?!),
• the pale look of some girls (Charlie's and Malena's face are a liitle bit like they are undead)
• and a very small amount of (not game-crashing) bugs...

BUT overall the setting and plot is interesting, most characters are as well and the spices are apparently there, too.
That's why I enjoyed your work nevertheless and appreciate what you've created so far!

So keep up your passion for "making females", stay safe and sound! Cheers to you in Down Under