- Sep 19, 2019
- 61
- 101
I wouldnt even go that far. Its just that the clown caught my eye at instant but the half naked lady did not.Remove the clown?
But the focus point allready got mentioned
I wouldnt even go that far. Its just that the clown caught my eye at instant but the half naked lady did not.Remove the clown?
That's great! I couldn't have done it better in my own language!I didn't say you had to but something like....
It's been a while now, I was seemingly trapped in a mundane life without ever realizing it, so when the trouble at work started it took me not only by surprise, but also out of my comfort zone.
It's funny how we get so used to the everyday and drift along on our own, especially when you consider that friendship and companionship are a fundamental part of who we are, Humans.
Nothing re-affirms this better than a friend in need. They needed a place and I needed a friend, win-win right? Maybe, but when I also consider the person I have become as opposed to the person I WANTED to be
you have to wonder if my friend even knows me anymore!
One thing is for sure.. Something has to change, I have to change! Do I let people walk all over me, or do I become the Alpha? Do I rub peoples nose in the sand, or do I offer a calm, friendly hand?
Do I discuss or manipulate?
You and I, my subconscious friend, are on a journey, a journey of discovery and faith, a journey of truth or dare. It all begins now, it all begins TODAY!
And I would have played your game in a heartbeat.
Of Course, feel free.That's great! I couldn't have done it better in my own language!
I hope that I have the right to use it?
Thank you for your feedback!First, please find an English language proofreader to polish the script. Overall it is fine but it could be much better. It will help attract more players.
How many parents have been lost in car accidents in these games? At least shake it up a bit and have it be a fire at a sea parks or a boating accident...
Emily is a redhead and her render looks good, since I am an infamous sucker when it comes to redheads you already get bonus points from me.
"I can't sit on your neck forever" is that a common phrase somewhere? She can sit on the MC's face all she wants.
And you lost that bonus point and a bunch more by making a freeroam game.
Does the MC have a cat? Otherwise the cat tower in the office is an odd accessory.
Is there anything else to the game besides going out and randomly buying wine? Because nothing else happened in my game.
Choose either the overhead map or the corridor of arrows, don't do both (overhead map was a better, cleaner idea).
Give the player hints as to what needs to be done next.
Overall, not enough content to judge anything else about it.
Good luck with this! Hope you have an idea of where you want to go with the plot.
Yeah, I ended up skipping content because I don't creep on people by spying on them which seems to be what we are expected to do 3 times in the game? When she is changing, when she is showering, and when she is sleeping?Thank you for your feedback!
Here are possible actions in the game at the moment:
Meeting-Breakfast-spying changing clothes (optional) - buying wine (optional) - spying shower (optional) - drinking wine. She will drink if you were generally friendly. Refuses if not. Also, if you helped with the laptop and did not ask for a refund, there will be an additional scene. After that, you can go to the room at night (optional) - if you drank wine, you can see more. If not, the scene will be short. I don't recommend wasting time using a bed. Otherwise, skip the content.
MC is what you make it. So everything is optional. Moreover, actions are remembered. And if you missed the content purposefully now, then the game will give you another alternative in the future, which is closer in spirit. I want to give players the opportunity to play as they want. Just in this demo version, these scenes are created as the easiest to perform.Yeah, I ended up skipping content because I don't creep on people by spying on them which seems to be what we are expected to do 3 times in the game? When she is changing, when she is showering, and when she is sleeping?
The MC is super pervy for a guy who considered Emily to be a "sibling" growing up. The fact she has a boyfriend makes the entire relationship a non-starter for me. It would be better if the relationship grew slowly over time instead of the MC trying to catch glimpses of his "sister" naked every chance he can when she JUST moved in.
Anyway, thanks for the response. Good luck!
That works! As I said, if the English was polished a bit more and you chose either the arrows or the overhead map (overhead map) then it would go a long way to making this game stand out.MC is what you make it. So everything is optional. Moreover, actions are remembered. And if you missed the content purposefully now, then the game will give you another alternative in the future, which is closer in spirit. I want to give players the opportunity to play as they want. Just in this demo version, these scenes are created as the easiest to perform.
Of course! I would even be grateful to you! Tell me, how can I help?Do you allow me to translate u'r game into Portuguese?
The thing is, I have a General scenario. And when I came up with a name for it, I didn't know how much time and effort it would take to study and create even this demo. Three months ago I didn't know what the engine renpy. Rendering and so on. As I said, my work has nothing to do with the topic of programming. I had to learn everything from scratch. I tried to do something every day after work. I completed one day in the game. I decided to post the game to find out whether it is worth continuing at all. But this first day really does not reveal the name of the game in any way.Uhhhhh so what is a million dollar idea? I don't even see a hint of it.
your permission is more than enoughOf course! I would even be grateful to you! Tell me, how can I help?
Unfortunately, at the moment I can't afford to hire a proofreader for a fee.That works! As I said, if the English was polished a bit more and you chose either the arrows or the overhead map (overhead map) then it would go a long way to making this game stand out.
Reveal it soon would be nice.The thing is, I have a General scenario. And when I came up with a name for it, I didn't know how much time and effort it would take to study and create even this demo. Three months ago I didn't know what the engine renpy. Rendering and so on. As I said, my work has nothing to do with the topic of programming. I had to learn everything from scratch. I tried to do something every day after work. I completed one day in the game. I decided to post the game to find out whether it is worth continuing at all. But this first day really does not reveal the name of the game in any way.
I'd be more than happy to proofread (The English translation of course) for freeUnfortunately, at the moment I can't afford to hire a proofreader for a fee.
Only if I find someone who does it out of interest.
There are a lot of people who offer their services free. Check the board in the recruitment/services section. I also do free proofreading if you would like me to help you out.Unfortunately, at the moment I can't afford to hire a proofreader for a fee.
Only if I find someone who does it out of interest.
Thanks! I could send you the source of the translation file. It opens in any text editor.I'd be more than happy to proofread (The English translation of course) for free