Hello.
Thanks for the answers.
Because they often talk about what happened before, that they are famous, they can use magic (and nobody is surprised outside Tristan) and have diffferent capacities, they had problems with the paparazzis (though their contact here seems correct), Bradley has a bad temper and cheated a lot, James cheated once, their way of dealing with people in the lagoon (who is Chris Nelson?), Utopia and the ancestors first time on Earth. It's thrown in the dialogs like we should already know that (though we aren't or I'm just unaware of it).
That's why I wanted to know were I could learn more about the background behind the game.
As for the slut, while I don't have any problem with it, it didn't really fit James personality (the slut is probably Bradley), nor was reflected in his thoughts and reactions (if we refuse he says he isn't a cheap slut or kick the ass of the stranger and leave though).
Also, is James bottom only? Just to know, though I like it when they are switch (top/bottom and dom/sub).
And I'm glad if I can help even a little.
Some additional remarks :
Some characters don't appear though they are present (like Stella in the limo or Dean). Some people seem important enough to be mentioned (Ryan, Morgana, Uncle Tom, Rhonda, Christopher, Chelsea or even Cupi; Esteban being the only one we can see a glimpse) so they should be presented like the rest.
Some conversations are focused on one character and it feels more like he is talking to himself (like the repeatable scene with Brent in the canteen) : if someone is talking, he/she should appear through the conversation at least once (like Adriana, Vince, Layla, Ophelia...). Seeing a name makes me want to know the face associated to remember who it is when I spot it later again. Otherwise, just call them a girl/a woman/a boy/a man or girl 1/girl 2/boy 1/boy 2 if you don't want to introduce them.
If something is happening and mentioned like Brent with his feet on the table, we should see it too.
Some sentences are said by the wrong character like here :
Also, the english is very raw and it can make some sentences strange.
Good continuation.
Thanks for the answers.
When I was talking about reference, I was more talking about context than model.
Because they often talk about what happened before, that they are famous, they can use magic (and nobody is surprised outside Tristan) and have diffferent capacities, they had problems with the paparazzis (though their contact here seems correct), Bradley has a bad temper and cheated a lot, James cheated once, their way of dealing with people in the lagoon (who is Chris Nelson?), Utopia and the ancestors first time on Earth. It's thrown in the dialogs like we should already know that (though we aren't or I'm just unaware of it).
That's why I wanted to know were I could learn more about the background behind the game.
Well, I think the right way to do it would be to include all locations but having a message saying there's nothing to do there if no event is planned for the path we have chosen (like the "Nobody here" of the Movie room or "James visited the streets, but nothing happened").
As for the slut, while I don't have any problem with it, it didn't really fit James personality (the slut is probably Bradley), nor was reflected in his thoughts and reactions (if we refuse he says he isn't a cheap slut or kick the ass of the stranger and leave though).
Also, is James bottom only? Just to know, though I like it when they are switch (top/bottom and dom/sub).
That's actually a great idea, a main story with some fun and repeatable side events (not necessarily related to each other).
And I'm glad if I can help even a little.
Some additional remarks :
Some characters don't appear though they are present (like Stella in the limo or Dean). Some people seem important enough to be mentioned (Ryan, Morgana, Uncle Tom, Rhonda, Christopher, Chelsea or even Cupi; Esteban being the only one we can see a glimpse) so they should be presented like the rest.
Some conversations are focused on one character and it feels more like he is talking to himself (like the repeatable scene with Brent in the canteen) : if someone is talking, he/she should appear through the conversation at least once (like Adriana, Vince, Layla, Ophelia...). Seeing a name makes me want to know the face associated to remember who it is when I spot it later again. Otherwise, just call them a girl/a woman/a boy/a man or girl 1/girl 2/boy 1/boy 2 if you don't want to introduce them.
If something is happening and mentioned like Brent with his feet on the table, we should see it too.
Some sentences are said by the wrong character like here :
Also, the english is very raw and it can make some sentences strange.
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Good continuation.
, so it happen than I don't notice typos or weirdly made sentences, I think I'll make an error report section or ask to send me private messages about theses to fix them, and avoid filling the thread (because I'm pretty sure they are many).
