VN Ren'Py A Wife and Mother [v0.205] [Lust & Passion]

[DarthSpitz717]

I actually did consider adding in that Sophia is a Gym teacher instead of what she is now, but that would mean there is no logical reason for side job 2 and tutoring. I do think her being a Gym teacher from the get-go is probably the best idea but side job 2 would alienate some people who are a fan of AWAM, so why I decided not to add it but I see the logic to Sophia being a gym teacher.

I also considered that the Aiden tasks not actually having a specific number or that number being lower, 12 is too specific and too long. I actually think it would be better if Sophia just says no and stands up for herself instead of using Morella to end them. I decided against it as honestly, these tasks are popular with a lot and myself included, so I think I could meet the 12 number. However, I would've been very tempted to remove the model scene as that just seemed so random. Also, I agree with reusing locations, so removing the model scene would fit in with what you saying.

The classroom, gym area and Aiden hangout area, and maybe Sophia's home would be the only places where tasks occurred.

Yeah, I agree with Liam, he seems pointless but I'm biased, I would love to remove him altogether and have him killed in a car accident and Sophia is a widow looking after Liam's children. She moves near her sister to get help with raising them. However, some people do like the good wife route and I got nothing against swinging storylines, it does add more to AWAM.

Sometimes you have to decide between what is logical and what is best for the project.

The side jobs are not logical, Liam barely ever around is not logical and the Aiden tasks are not really logical. However, they are reasons to add popular content to AWAM, so a lot of people are fine with it.

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I actually did consider adding in that Sophia is a Gym teacher instead of what she is now, but that would mean there is no logical reason for side job 2 and tutoring. I do think her being a Gym teacher from the get-go is probably the best idea but side job 2 would alienate some people who are a fan of AWAM, so why I decided not to add it but I see the logic to Sophia being a gym teacher.
Actually it's your story, and how you want to progress is up to you. Regardless of being a gym teacher or having side jobs, the only weakness is Sophia's mind set. What makers her do what she does... we really don't get an inner demon perspective of her thoughts. How she is educating the Myers looks like Dr Ruth gone bad.
I also considered that the Aiden tasks not actually having a specific number or that number being lower, 12 is too specific and too long. I actually think it would be better if Sophia just says no and stands up for herself instead of using Morella to end them. I decided against it as honestly, these tasks are popular with a lot and myself included, so I think I could meet the 12 number. However, I would've been very tempted to remove the model scene as that just seemed so random. Also, I agree with reusing locations, so removing the model scene would fit in with what you saying.
Well, if you're a high school kid and you have a position of power over a (hot) teacher and you're already sexually blackmailing your fellow students... think you might want "something" else???
The classroom, gym area and Aiden hangout area, and maybe Sophia's home would be the only places where tasks occurred.
As above comment but as to tasks, they could have been more "creative." Though at least the strip club and private dance held potential.
Yeah, I agree with Liam, he seems pointless but I'm biased, I would love to remove him altogether and have him killed in a car accident and Sophia is a widow looking after Liam's children. She moves near her sister to get help with raising them. However, some people do like the good wife route and I got nothing against swinging storylines, it does add more to AWAM.
Oh no, Laim could have and still can be the tool that gets you to where you want the story to go. If he was or becomes inattentive, dismissive, more self-absorbed, and neglectful of Sophia's feelings, you give Sophia a "pretext" for whatever happens...or just an excuse. If Sophia's needs are not being met, well.... am sure you can take it from there.
Sometimes you have to decide between what is logical and what is best for the project.
It's my experience in writing anything can be done in a story. It only comes down to how you give it plausibility of it happening.
The side jobs are not logical, Liam barely ever around is not logical and the Aiden tasks are not really logical. However, they are reasons to add popular content to AWAM, so a lot of people are fine with it. Sure those are weak points in the plot--that is until you flesh out how to make them logical.

The whole Aiden story arch. All you had to do was to have Aiden demand things like being allowed to touch her, see her, or do things. You didn't have to have Sophia have sex at all in the tasks or go too far from your intended vision of the game. And you could have turned that rout around with Sophia liking the 'feel' of being kissed or touched, but still loathing Aiden and that loathing finally winning herself free of Aiden.

Keep going with the side jobs. A plot devise to use in either of them (the old duffers or the tutoring) is Sophia has some exhibitionist tendencies... she's a hot woman.... she knows it...people throughout the game have been mentioning it... and it starts to turn her on. Just adding that element in Sophia makes any of your other plots and subplots work better. For example, Sophia sees the love in Sam's eyes and knows it's real and it thrills her that Sam is so taken with her beauty... Sophia is so pretty that her own daughter is on the same level just like when Sophia was a teenager...etc... Then you don't have to do the "clinical" explanation of why Sophia does what she does

 

[DarthSpitz717]

This is actually a great point. It's not that you can't do 12 events with Aiden, but give yourself some wiggle room and leave it undefined. Only make events that advance their relationship, and aren't so procedural. The strict procedure of the events is making them kinda a slog. Obviously you don't want to move too quickly, but the pacing is all out of wack. We take forever for even the smallest baby step of an event to unfold. We have the setup, Sophia's resistence, Aiden's threats, Sophia's acceptance, and then the scene itself. It takes forever to unfold and amounts to only a small step forward in their relationship. By officially stating the number of events, L&P has locked himself into a very drawn out process. I'd use time jumps to montage over a couple of events, therefore showing them in broad detail, and get to an event that is more interesting. This would help with pacing by making the storyline less ponderous, and you could still ensure that each event advances their relationship without taking years to do it.

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GingerSG

Read your post some pages back and I liked it. The improvements you suggested make the story more efficient, but it doesn't strike at the heart of the problem... character motivations.

If you were to prank someone in your corner of the world, wager you have personal motivations for doing so; unless, you're like me and just pure evil not needing motivation, just the sure love of mischief is excuse enough. LOL! But seriously with all books, movies, games that involve a story, the motivation behind the events complete the narrative

 

[GingerSweetGirl]

Many are, as most developers start their careers on F95&Co, but there are lots of people who just look for adult games via Patreon aswell, and those would be entirely left out if L&P were to release his project in his native language.

Or as Ginger put it earlier, a way to alienate the audience.

Even if, in theory, every patron had a way to get the fanmade translation, I'm pretty sure it would be worse than the original. You'd either end up with a google translation or people who simply aren't 100% fluent in both languages. People up for this task are usually not working for free as it's quite a bit of work, especially for a project such as AWAM where there's a ton of dialogue compared to other VN's. Either way, he'd likely have way less patrons if the game was released in German.

But on another note, I don't believe for a second that he's actually writing the script in German first and then write it down a second time in English. English isn't my first language either, but I'm not gonna write things down in my native language first before I translate it. That's straight up stupid and doesn't make any sense whatsoever. If I were to struggle formulating a sentence, I'd google it straight away instead of having to type everything down twice. And according to L&P, he's got his translation/proofreader guy anyway, which would make it even more stupid. lol

And let's keep in mind that the fans would be translating from German to English. I'm not an expert, but German to English seems like one of the more challenging European languages. It would be one thing if it were a romance language, but German is a different beast. Finding someone who speaks fluent English and German would be really difficult.

 

[tofhdns]

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He has no intention of advancing the story, but he needs to fill up the number of renderings... he seems to be in pain.


Dylan looked like he was in his 30s when he entered the nightclub, but should we praise Dylan's healing factor ability to become young again when he left the nightclub?

Guys, nightclubs are so dangerous like this.

 

[Kingkoopa97]

The fuck are these previews? this game started as a corruption game now were getting a cringe ass romance novel with the beta cuck dylan...

 

[WildBillKatt]

I'm pretty confident how this update ends. Read mention of hot tub, it will be repeat of bathtub plus probably a little tit sucking and a handjob to save him the embarrassment of having a hardon when he walks in from a date with his mom,

 

[Radoslaw Wolf]

In my opinion that depends on one's knowledge of the English language.
When I'm writing here, I'm just writing it in English, but when I'm writing something long enough, I'm always writing it in my native language first, and only then translate it. for me this way is much quicker, because I don't "think" in English.
Some people have their way with languages and some don't.

As a non-native speaker myself, I strongly recommend carrying the inner dialogue in English - takes a while but you'll appreciate the results.

 

[ancienregimele]

Does European lunch take 2 hours? This is just heaven.

Where I worked you got 20-30 minutes but in practice had to eat while you were still working, answering the phone with a mouthful of food, etc. 'Lunch was for wimps.'

 

[Candy Suxx]

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So first they will go dancing in a club where Dylan will rub himself against her , then will have dinner and maybe Sophia will flash him under the table and then..................THE END. See you in Dec 2023

 

[Radoslaw Wolf]

Does European lunch take 2 hours? This is just heaven.

There's no such thing as "European". It's completely different across the continent. While Southerners have their forms of siesta, central Europe has strict 2x15 minutes. Some international corporations implement their own rules that aren't necessarily in line with the local code. It's a mash-up.

 

[Deleted member 4420830]

we will see her pussy

 

[ET271]

we will see her pussy

Doubt it tbh

 

[AlfredBundy4]

So first they will go dancing in a club where Dylan will rub himself against her , then will have dinner and maybe Sophia will flash him under the table and then..................THE END. See you in Dec 2023

Right. Again, the face slappers, those insisting on hitting themselves rather than make a counter-argument, absolutely do not fully accept the fact that at the current pace they won't see ANYTHING like they hope for about a decade. The story itself ending in about 20-25 years.
They don't defend it because it's indefensible.

Therefore, nothing of substance will hit their eyes anytime soon. None of the "maybe she'll give him a BJ or..." folk have grasped that it can't happen because the supposedly pre-written plot means she doesn't do anything close to that for a decade.

At most she'll rub his dick over his pants. Maybe the same for him with the pants being panties but even that is very, very unlikely.

 

[rAmSiMaL]

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Thanks Dr. Do we know anything about the big pause?

 

[Jozef Minge]

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I have always dreamed of seeing a lady in an evening dress drinking beer from a bottle! Please, someone to tell L&P to at least add a glass in front of her...

 

[karleston]

Right. Again, the face slappers, those insisting on hitting themselves rather than make a counter-argument, absolutely do not fully accept the fact that at the current pace they won't see ANYTHING like they hope for about a decade. The story itself ending in about 20-25 years.
They don't defend it because it's indefensible.

Therefore, nothing of substance will hit their eyes anytime soon. None of the "maybe she'll give him a BJ or..." folk have grasped that it can't happen because the supposedly pre-written plot means she doesn't do anything close to that for a decade.

At most she'll rub his dick over his pants. Maybe the same for him with the pants being panties but even that is very, very unlikely.

Well, well, well, look who we have here! It seems to me that there's this bunch of self-proclaimed "enlightened" individuals who fancy themselves as the clairvoyants of this game destiny. They've taken it upon themselves to rescue us mere mortals from our own idiocy and lack of good judgment. How, you ask? By shouting from the rooftops every day that this game is heading straight for disaster! According to them, L&P is the worst game dev ever, and this game is a catastrophy. But they are still coming back everyday out of their good heart to save us from ourselves.

They're the ones who've got it all figured out. They've got the brains, the style, the flow, and the secret knowledge that we desperately lack. So, if you want to be part of their exclusive cool club, you better start parroting their words precisely. Join the ranks of the chosen few who apparently have an all-access backstage pass to the future of this game.

Thanks captain obvious we can see the light now

 

[Alley_Cat]

Where I worked you got 20-30 minutes but in practice had to eat while you were still working, answering the phone with a mouthful of food, etc. 'Lunch was for wimps.'

Depending on who's the supervisor, as a barista sometimes I'm lucky if I get 15 minutes. I have some supervisors that will just keep giving me orders well into my lunch break

 

[DylansMoM_001]

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What kind of romantic talk a mom & son can have I wonder

 

[3ni9mq]

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Wow, What a quiet place

 

[RUSSIAN MAFIA]

Spoiler: That's how it should be =Tiz=er

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son of a bitch, you left me alone, you know that alcohol makes me weak..... I was all groped and almost entered me than you thought.... YAYAYAY.. sorry mom!