Are you ashamed of your kinks/fetishes?

[cramcramcram]

I'm not ashamed of 'my' kinks/fetishes, but I also don't strongly feel any kinks/fetishes. My feelings/ level of interest seem to be clipped. For some time I thought it was being self-inhibited or in denial, perhaps because of moral factors or something, and maybe that is still in play, but I've been in contexts to explore and haven't come out in a particular way. All that being said, I've spent more than a month in psychiatric hospitals with major depression/psychomotor retardation, and come from a line of not-so-healthy individuals, so I'm not exactly a particularly regular case. Have felt enough delusional guilt and shame. I guess unlike some of the other posts, I don't easily love myself.

The degeneracy of wanting a cozy fuck on a lazy rainy day, lounging and playing. Will take it to my grave.

With others, I respect people's privacy and wouldn't want to impose upon them to reveal something about themselves, but would want to make someone feel comfortable with speaking freely and openly. I've had partners talk about particular exhibitionistic and voyeuristic fantasies, watched porn with partners (though one was a ridiculous JAV more to laugh at), and done some things. The openness and exploration was great, and I was glad to share, even if I can't say I felt the same things. But that's part of the human experience.


Having had some experiences with people who could not differentiate between fantasy and reality (at times) has made me a little more wary in some contexts. Let alone actually deciding what reality actually is. I'm somewhat relatavistic, but there may be special and general relativity, so to speak.

I'm somewhat interested in possible hypotheses or connections behind fetishes - less as a 'diagnosis' or explanation, but more as a topic of curiosity. E.g. motor vs. somatosensory homunculus positioning of the feet near the genitals as a possible connection for foot fetishism. Trauma or fear-related twisting into particular fetish scenarios. How the mind warps something of disgust into something desired, perhaps as processing disgust in various regions. Though I disdain deigning something as more abnormal when it is difficult to study what people actually do and think, accurately. Armchair psychiatry that contain sexual thoughts/aspects too simply, or make them 'explain everything' are quite annoying. Too often used as a tool to dismiss someone because of a different line of thinking. The creativity behind sexuality is quite fascinating.

But over-intellectualizing and disconnecting sexuality is such a waste.

Talking about your femdom breath-play while at a relative's child's birthday party maybe wouldn't be the best though...

 

[Ianuda]

E.g. motor vs. somatosensory homunculus positioning of the feet near the genitals as a possible connection for foot fetishism.

Really insightful post! But do people actually find genitalia arousing? I could never figure it out - so the blurring in JAV's is actually a boon (unless it's those rare cases where I'm interested to see a male cum from pegging, but it's apparently too hard to replicate).

And regarding friends - I literally have nobody to talk to. Not that I necessarily mind - I wouldn't exchange it to visiting an asylum. Every loss is a gain, as they say.

 

[Queen of the Dolls]

Growth is a spook and a buzzword. Somewhat unfortunate that you used it, because it triggered me we all die, and growth stops. In the end, there is no meaning to anything. Yes, I'm so morally relativist, that I would justify religious intolerance. Nothing matters.

P.S. It's advise, not advice.

We start to die the moment the first cell that creates us split, but most of us do get to have a life until it happens so why not choose to learn and grow from it while we can. It may not mean anything to you, but it is the growth of humankind as a whole that have enabled you to sit in front of your computer or phone and type a reply to stranger on the internet.

Whether growth stops or not is for me a rather lengthy philosophical explanation that takes more time to type than I have to spare at the moment, and the fact that words are subjectively charged does not make it easier, but I will try to clarify using the help of theoretical physicist Matt Caplan and his published research on how and when the universe is going to end.

"The largest black dwarfs will go supernova first, followed by smaller ones, at which time the universe will likely be a giant emptiness, completely unrecognizable.
“It’s hard to imagine anything coming after that, black dwarf supernova might be the last interesting thing to happen in the universe,”
“They may be the last supernova ever. Galaxies will have dispersed, black holes will have evaporated and the expansion of the universe will have pulled all remaining objects so far apart that none will ever see any of the others explode. It won’t even be physically possible for light to travel that far.”

From it`s birth to the end as he sees it, it is still referred to as the universe, even though it have changed billion upon billion of times trough it`s lifespan.
So even the most destructive force contributes to growth, but that also takes us into the territory of subjectively charged words and how you perceive the word "growth" to begin with, which in turn taint how you perceive my answer ...

P.S I am self taught in English, so I will take your advice :]

 

[cramcramcram]

But do people actually find genitalia arousing?

Absolutely - the fact that they censor it argues partly for some cases. I'm similar though, the blurring in JAVs doesn't bother me in particular, unless there are an excessive amount of artifacts.

Hell is other people (by the ways of we judge ourselves with the means other people have and have given us for judging ourselves, or whatever Sartre said and/or meant.) Quoting sort of enhances and lessens the point.

Gotta respect entropy continuing to increase as you considering what is growing, or not.

Usually the growth I'm working on is more focal and personal in nature...as it gets blurred out in JAVs...

 

[Ianuda]

Whether growth stops or not is for me a rather lengthy philosophical explanation

Curious. Of course, I meant individual growth, not that of the Universe. And I meant human life, not the meaningless rocks of said Universe. And if I am torn on whether the individual has any value, I refuse to see any point to those dead rocks at all. This is why I can't be a Nazi - I despise animals.

the growth of humankind as a whole

Slightly off-topic, but I don't believe in mankind, I see individual cultures. And it happens that mine is going extinct. Now that's a fun. I can totally combine the NTR fetish (which I don't have) with the current politics (although the target of my adoration won't be the proverbial Jamal, but President Xi who mercifully sells plastic dildos at such low prices).

 

[Queen of the Dolls]

Curious. Of course, I meant individual growth, not that of the Universe

I understood that, I was using it as an example since it is for me, philosophically speaking, the same thing, as we are all part of what we call everything in one form or another until all that is left is nothing, and the cycle starts over and over and over again.

 

[Rafster]

Fuck, I don't even speak openly about my own sexual orientation, let alone my kinks.

 

[♍VoidTraveler]

Fuck, I don't even speak openly about my own sexual orientation, let alone my kinks.

Now now, that's not quite true is it?
I think everyone on F95 knows your orientation and kinks.
Millions of people visit this site you know, you can't get more open than that, i think.

 

[Doorknob22]

My fetishes include incest, rape, pedo loli, trap and probably more. So what? They are just stupid fantasies. In real life I have sweet, boring sex with my sweet, boring wife of 30 years, usually in a missionary position and I love my sweet, boring life. Would I want to commit any of my fetishes? Hell no.

Fantasy is not life. Thinking is not doing.

Let's look at this from the opposite way: would you be proud of yourself if you spent your days watching TV and playing video games while thinking noble thoughts about helping people, saving the environment, volunteering etc? Just thinking, zero action. I hope you wouldn't feel proud because you'd be as helpful to society as a perverted fetishist is a menace to society: not at all.

Fantasy is not life. Thinking is not doing. And it goes both ways.