VN Ren'Py Abandoned Art&Waifu [v0.1] [mozgoebatel]

5.00 star(s) 2 Votes

LazyKeks

Active Member
Jan 16, 2018
546
869
Translating direct answer:
I was very curious when I was a kid and many people disliked it.
One guy once told me "don't fuck my brains"

В детстве я была очень любознатетельной, но многим это не нравилось. Один парень как-то сказал "мозги мне не еби"
Мило и познавательно.;)
 
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presticus

Newbie
Jun 26, 2017
39
105
Art looks amazing, story summary reminds me about that VN where the guy ends up helping a hentai game studio staffed only by women. Adding to my watch list, good luck!
 
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Xenon-San

Active Member
Jun 16, 2017
677
949
> he just needs to agree to draw hentai.
>there's no ingame option to say no
dropped, 2/10 even sixteen times the detail won't help here :(
i gave 2 points for realism cause starting stats of MC are similar to avarage anon :)
 

RandyPhoenix

Engaged Member
Jun 30, 2018
2,995
4,487
Drawings looks damn good and cute but: Sex scenes are animated? Or only pictured or static animated?
 

LazyKeks

Active Member
Jan 16, 2018
546
869
Tried your game. Well what can I say, the art is for the amateur (I liked it), the events are too fast (no more than 10 minutes into the game, as Mс already fucks the girls). Perhaps this is because of the lack of mini-games, or just girls are too liberated. The text is quite easy to read (in Russian).
Good luck in developing the game. :)
 
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antho

New Member
Jun 8, 2017
3
4
Greetings,

I don't know where to put recommandations, so I'll do it here ^^.

Here are some things I noticed in version 0.1 (english):

In the Menu:
- About: Put some details other than v0.1, maybe some lore, or explanations about yourself. (+ move the title a little bit to the right or center it, it's pretty close to left border)
- Preferences: It is written "preferens" ^^'.
- Help: there is a word for a key not translated (it is still in russian) the one for "advances dialogue ..."
- Load: The letters used for pages A,B are still in a russian typo.
- Load/Save:
- The blue bar when you hover the slots on the left are kind of trepassing over the book, I don't know how to explain, but it is weird, maybe move the slots a little to the right.
- It would be nice to add a title to the page to know if you're in the save or the load menu, because they're identical. (+ in english I think it should be "page 1" instead of "1 page".
- Flags: Put them somewhere else / reduce their size / hide them in menus but they are getting in the way. E.g: when you press "Load" button, you can't see the ">".

Recommandations:
- Add a button for credits? It may be nice to credit the people who helped for the game.
- It would be nice if, when you try to load/save, you came back to page 1. For e.g: I was doing some tests in the main menu and was on page 9 without noticing, then when I saved in game, I saved in a slot in page 9 ^^'.
- Watch out for the contouring! Especially in Mc's room, the chair is awkward and there are white lines on furniture ^^'.
- In the English version, words between "<<" and ">>" seems weird to me, there is no space between the "<" and a word. E.g: "<<STUDIO. DOORBEL ON THE RIGHT>>".

Traduction problems:
- When you first meet Laura, there is a sentence: :"It's fine. Nobody, except the rich, does not pass from the first time."
I think it should have been "passes" instead of "does not pass".
- Laura first sex scene: "Then he takes a deep breath and again runs the hand along the entire length."
I think the "he" should be "she".

But in general, I wanted to say that I really like the Art of this game, it's pretty nice and want to know more about the story :).

Hope, my comment helped a least a little :).

Take care.

Antho.
 
Nov 24, 2019
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- It would be nice if, when you try to load/save, you came back to page 1. For e.g: I was doing some tests in the main menu and was on page 9 without noticing, then when I saved in game, I saved in a slot in page 9 ^^'.
I suffer from save compulsion, going back to page 103 from such thing sounds like a painful endeavor.

- In the English version, words between "<<" and ">>" seems weird to me, there is no space between the "<" and a word. E.g: "<<STUDIO. DOORBEL ON THE RIGHT>>".
PS. (Why not using markup, like {i} and {color}? Okay I probably should try out this game instead of just commenting...)
 
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DeUglyOne

I haven't ignored you yet?
Donor
Sep 1, 2017
600
1,840
I hadn't downloaded yet, and rarely do for a first release, but just the OP makes me want to wait quite some time before I look at it again.

Let's start with the banner. What's wrong with this picture? Either it got flipped horizontally or the girl on the far right did before she was pasted in. Take a good look at her hoodie. Small details make a huge difference...

Like the condoms. One looks so short that there's no way it would stay on. Consistency is King.

From looking at the second preview pic, it's clear that it's going to be a chore to read through the English version. It's understandable, but takes a while to register correctly the way it's worded.

"She takes a relaxed position, standing on her elbows and giving me a good view of her neatly standing breasts with pink nipples swollen from cold (or excitement?)"
==She relaxes, leaning on her elbows and giving me a good view of her perky breasts with pink nipples erect from the cold (or maybe excitement?).
Even if it was worded better, the text doesn't match the picture. That's a huge detail.

There is a thread on this board that is made just for finding an English speaking proofreader. If one or more don't pop into this thread and offer their services, maybe you should take a look.

The artwork does look very good and I wish you the best of luck.
 
5.00 star(s) 2 Votes