VN Ren'Py Abandoned Art&Waifu [v0.1] [mozgoebatel]

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Outbreak Inn

Outbreak Inn

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Aug 7, 2020
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antho said:
Greetings,

I don't know where to put recommandations, so I'll do it here ^^.

Here are some things I noticed in version 0.1 (english):

In the Menu:
- About: Put some details other than v0.1, maybe some lore, or explanations about yourself. (+ move the title a little bit to the right or center it, it's pretty close to left border)
- Preferences: It is written "preferens" ^^'.
- Help: there is a word for a key not translated (it is still in russian) the one for "advances dialogue ..."
- Load: The letters used for pages A,B are still in a russian typo.
- Load/Save:
- The blue bar when you hover the slots on the left are kind of trepassing over the book, I don't know how to explain, but it is weird, maybe move the slots a little to the right.
- It would be nice to add a title to the page to know if you're in the save or the load menu, because they're identical. (+ in english I think it should be "page 1" instead of "1 page".
- Flags: Put them somewhere else / reduce their size / hide them in menus but they are getting in the way. E.g: when you press "Load" button, you can't see the ">".

Recommandations:
- Add a button for credits? It may be nice to credit the people who helped for the game.
- It would be nice if, when you try to load/save, you came back to page 1. For e.g: I was doing some tests in the main menu and was on page 9 without noticing, then when I saved in game, I saved in a slot in page 9 ^^'.
- Watch out for the contouring! Especially in Mc's room, the chair is awkward and there are white lines on furniture ^^'.
- In the English version, words between "<<" and ">>" seems weird to me, there is no space between the "<" and a word. E.g: "<<STUDIO. DOORBEL ON THE RIGHT>>".

Traduction problems:
- When you first meet Laura, there is a sentence: :"It's fine. Nobody, except the rich, does not pass from the first time."
I think it should have been "passes" instead of "does not pass".
- Laura first sex scene: "Then he takes a deep breath and again runs the hand along the entire length."
I think the "he" should be "she".

But in general, I wanted to say that I really like the Art of this game, it's pretty nice and want to know more about the story :).

Hope, my comment helped a least a little :).

Take care.

Antho.
Click to expand...
That's a really solid in-depth analysis. I'll make sure she fixes most of that things. The "Preferences" button bugged me as well, but she definitely wanted to release now as she's already spent her money on the game
That traduction problems are my bad, maybe I've been rushing the translation a little bit.

We hope to see your reviews for our next updates too, that's a lot of help!
 
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thevoid089

Forum Fanatic
Jan 29, 2020
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Bookmarked! Just the look at those sample images on OP thread alone was enough for me to know this will be a great game, and for the first demo the content and H event so far was pretty good and I can't wait to see more updates in the future
 
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turkler

turkler

Member
Apr 18, 2019
215
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I have to say, this is one of the most mediocre games I've ever seen. It's not bad, it's not good, it's just very meh.
 
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T51bwinterized

T51bwinterized

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Oct 17, 2017
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Nice art. Taking a look at this. Is this game meant to be entirely vanilla? Or will the game allow the option of more Dom/sib type relationships to develop with some of the girls?

I ask because games of that type are normally more my subject of interest.
 
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Faolan Farcreek

Newbie
May 21, 2018
25
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Outbreak Inn said:
That's a really solid in-depth analysis. I'll make sure she fixes most of that things. The "Preferences" button bugged me as well, but she definitely wanted to release now as she's already spent her money on the game
That traduction problems are my bad, maybe I've been rushing the translation a little bit.

We hope to see your reviews for our next updates too, that's a lot of help!
Click to expand...
for some reason i knew you were part of this... the art seems similar to that of waifu outbreak (which is a good thing)
also yeah the translation is wonky at some points... some things read like you directly translated it, where most people would use english slang
example: first meeting with blue haired girl, after you tell her sorry. she answers with "nothing wrong" i'd suggest changing that to something like: "it's okay" or "don't worry about it"

still looks very nice, and as far as i got (not very far) it looks like this is one to watch out for, this could really become an amazing game
 
Outbreak Inn

Outbreak Inn

Member
Game Developer
Aug 7, 2020
111
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Faolan Farcreek said:
for some reason i knew you were part of this... the art seems similar to that of waifu outbreak (which is a good thing)
also yeah the translation is wonky at some points... some things read like you directly translated it, where most people would use english slang
example: first meeting with blue haired girl, after you tell her sorry. she answers with "nothing wrong" i'd suggest changing that to something like: "it's okay" or "don't worry about it"

still looks very nice, and as far as i got (not very far) it looks like this is one to watch out for, this could really become an amazing game
Click to expand...
That's funny because the games are being designed and drew by completely different artists :ROFLMAO:

I sometimes restrained myself from using slang because the original is kind of formal itself
Wanna be close to the original idk
 
Outbreak Inn

Outbreak Inn

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Game Developer
Aug 7, 2020
111
134
T51bwinterized said:
Nice art. Taking a look at this. Is this game meant to be entirely vanilla? Or will the game allow the option of more Dom/sib type relationships to develop with some of the girls?

I ask because games of that type are normally more my subject of interest.
Click to expand...
Each gal will have her own route, so one may have domination, another may have something else
 
loikl

loikl

Well-Known Member
Feb 14, 2018
1,278
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Interesting, visually it looks great, also, personally, I like the dating sim style, I don't know how much relationships with the girls can develop in the future but for now it promises a lot.:sneaky:

Good luck.;)
 
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Walter Victor

Walter Victor

Conversation Conqueror
Dec 27, 2017
6,015
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Outbreak Inn said:
Not this one, she put too much effort and finances in it already
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Outbreak Inn said:
The "Preferences" button bugged me as well, but she definitely wanted to release now as she's already spent her money on the game
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Okay, I'm going to download this and take a look anyway. The artwork is too good to pass up and the plot line looks interesting.

But here's the thing... New games usually have a tough enough time gaining traction with potential paying Patrons. From your comments it looks like this one is underfunded. If that is the case, putting out a game with known shortcomings is not a good way to attract paying customers. The competition for people's cash is too heavy. If the developer is depending on Patron support, I fear for this game's continuation.

Good luck, anyway. I hope it works out.
 
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Outbreak Inn

Outbreak Inn

Member
Game Developer
Aug 7, 2020
111
134
Walter Victor said:
Okay, I'm going to download this and take a look anyway. The artwork is too good to pass up and the plot line looks interesting.

But here's the thing... New games usually have a tough enough time gaining traction with potential paying Patrons. From your comments it looks like this one is underfunded. If that is the case, putting out a game with known shortcomings is not a good way to attract paying customers. The competition for people's cash is too heavy. If the developer is depending on Patron support, I fear for this game's continuation.

Good luck, anyway. I hope it works out.
Click to expand...
I hope she's patching it next week so we'll get those minor problems solved
 
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antho

antho

New Member
Jun 8, 2017
3
4
Outbreak Inn said:
That's a really solid in-depth analysis. I'll make sure she fixes most of that things. The "Preferences" button bugged me as well, but she definitely wanted to release now as she's already spent her money on the game
That traduction problems are my bad, maybe I've been rushing the translation a little bit.

We hope to see your reviews for our next updates too, that's a lot of help!
Click to expand...
I'm glad it helped, i'll be sure to come here from time to time :).
 
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5.00 star(s) 2 Votes