So... i return bearing grave news. I did some testing on my post a couple pages back, about whether interactions actually incur penalties. Im sorry to say, but ALL interactions that fail incur penalties (and all interactions that succeed give like/love points). Not even the "maybe some other time" variants (depends on character), the "softer failure" - they just incur lower penalties.
Ive been goofing around to test this, which included woo-ing both a regular hetero chick and a lean homo chick. The hetero one was easy - two days in and she was hanging off that tree branch, if you catch my drift... The homo one took about 2-3 ingame weeks to even get to a range where she would accept, and then the chance of her accepting was anything between "fuck off and die" and 12%. Ultimately, i managed to pester the homo chick for long enough, that she (most likely) accepted out of pity (hey, a win is a win!).
A couple of ingame weeks later, i would end up dragged into the cafeteria by the local school slut. Local school sluts being local school sluts, she assaulted me with a kiss, which i was having none of - i retaliated with a kiss of my own...
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Ive heard the all too familiar yelp, and all hell broke loose. The homo chick caught me and i became the target of a barrage of breakup requests. Welp, after the third one ive accepted her plea (due to fearing the consequences would be worse... they were, but i will get to that). If a relationship with a bi or hetero chick holds up on both love and sex, a relationship with a dyke is held up with duct tape and dried up chewing gum... but thats a different topic.
Now... the homo chick is the main "target" of these tests (the hetero chick is clueless, and will remain so - ive learned my lesson here lol). According to Qtedit, after the breakup, shes had her love and like counters reset to zero, while dislike and hate counters went up to 15 (they werent there before [they were at a healthy 26, 4, 0, 0], so i guess thats the penalty for refusing to break up twice and accepting the third time, i guess). The wiki would have you believe to start grumbling with the person that hates you, as it would, supposedly, reduce their hate count. Thats all nice and well, but grumbling merely replaces hates with dislikes. In other words, NPCs that like you will (almost) always refuse to accept grumbling, while those that hate you will (almost) always accept - the choices here are inverted. Yes means no and no means yes. The only use for grumble, is if you have that one male NPC constantly bombarding you with lover requests - grumble to him a number of times, so that both yours and his LLDH hit rock bottom, and he finally fucks off, while also disliking you.
So, back to the topic: ive tried to "patch things up" with the heath... i mean, the lean homo chick, and my results werent going anywhere. Due to following the wiki, ive only made things worse - while the hates disappeared, they were entirely replaced with dislikes. So now i have a ex dyke GF with a LLDH of 2, 3, 24, 1. Good stuff... nothing can be done here, as she refuses any sort of interaction... or most of them anyway (the chances are anywhere between 5-20%). Ive been keeping count of the LLDH in Qtedit, and the "last 30 interactions" tab ("history" i believe its called) showed 90% dislikes, some hates, a few loves and likes. It occured to me, that the only way to actually gain like and love points is to completely skip the wiki nonsense - the answer is rumors. Find people the target is friendly with, and start bombarding them with both requests to improve relations with the target, while engaging the target themselves and telling them good rumors about their friends. This increases mutual relations with all parties, while not incuring penalties (due to higher success rate). Shame i figured it out only a few hours ago...
Getting past that, the talking interactions: every failure incurs a dislike penalty. Larger or smaller - its always there. Similar stuff for contact interactions - if you get refused once, thats a dislike. If you try again and get refused once more - thats a hate.
Cant really put this in quantitively, since i was not paying THAT much attention, but every interaction carries a gain in LLDH.
Whew... that was longer than it should have been.
Oh, and, if your GF (or BF) asks you whether you like someone other than them, the right answer is always "NO!!!". The hetero GF asked if i like the ex, and i stupidly said yes, so now she holds the "cheater!" status against me, even though i didnt do anything with the ex since the breakup. Fun stuff.