VN - Ren'Py - Completed - Avalon [v8.2] [Lockheart]

One of the best games i've played so far !
Touching story, with endearing characters having true feelings and reactions, based on their dark background.
->Thank you for not making another jerk, pervert and/or idiot MC...
The dialogues are really well written; love the sense of humour !

Keep on the good work; i'm looking forward the next updates !

It's..... ok. The writing is engaging if a bit puddle deep and the renders are sufficiently different to be worth watching however the plot is a bit suspect. It's one of those plots where you're reading it going "right ok..." and then it gets to a point where you're left going "oh ffs" and you kinda want to stop. Basically there's a scene where Avalon is out shopping with Byron and Byron, for a laugh it seems decides to buy her a sex toy. Like.... why dude? It's boils down to him in the store one day going "huh, a vibrator. You know who's like that? My emotionally damaged niece who I've not seen in years and who has lived with me for like a day. She'll get a right kick out of it."

The character is either an idiot or the writer of the story felt the need to speed up the relationship to get to the good stuff sooner. Either way it's jarring as hell.

Could be worth a play through but I fear if there's more things like this it'll become a mess quickly. I never even got to any smut so I can't even say how good or bad those are.

It makes no sense

The game is about a single man (Byron) who takes in his niece (Avalon) after something awful happens to her. The first two chapters build up to a big choice about whether or not you choose to be a parental figure to her or a sexual one, but then it doesn't actually give you that choice. It just forces you onto the sexual path, which is extremely creepy and opportunistic.

It is completely at odds with the rest of Byron's character, who is otherwise an extraordinarily upstanding guy. It drastically alters the tone of the game. All of the heartfelt conversations with Avalon are undercut by this mandatory sexual aspect to their relationship, and it becomes a game about grooming a victimized kid for sex instead of helping one overcome her trauma.

The writing in this game is brilliant. It inspires happiness and sadness but also hope, the model of vn that is around at the moment is very pushy and quick to ramp up to any kind of payoff. This vn takes its time and for good reason. Keep it up lockheart

Cannot praise AVALON enough. Intelligent and creative novels are those rare pearls which make works like Avalon stand out from the rest. Everything is extremely well done from my POV and you deserve more than praise. Excellent work.

I love the story, i like the characters, i love the banters that they have, i havent finished yet but i got so engage with it. i really hope this story will last long, hehehe and anyway, and i HOPE the story will get juicy with a little more HEAT. LoL. thanks for bringin this story. LOVE IT!... Cheers for A&B.

This game is on the right track, in my opinion.

Similar to Acting Lessons, the author is trying to cover some of the harder hitting topics, such as Rape, death, drug addiction and alcoholism. My first impressions was that it did COVER the topics, but fell flat in actually representing them in any meaningful way but we'll come back to that.

The renders, poses and dialogue for the first 3 chapters were inconsistent and silly at best. There were many still images of our beloved half bear - half man main character with his tongue stick out and his face contorted like he was constipated. Usually the visuals are the last thing I care about in a Visual novel, but this was a little jarring.

The dialogue was also very inconsistant, there were characters that clearly enjoyed the verbal sparring and just overall nonsensical story-telling. This was on purpose and I definetly enjoyed it, but for some reason, it was explained that characters obviously knew they were joking, but 12 scenes later, they would say something like "What's up with that person, it's OBVIOUSLY not true".

For me though,the most jarring experience was how quick Avalon moved past her sexual assault, and how utterly ridiculous the Author gave explanations for it. Obviously for her to be torn by this for the entire game would just not make for a good adult VN. But within 2 chapters, she went from one of the most life-ruining experiences anyone could experience to wanting to make out with her Uncle. This can obviously be overlooked due to the nature of the VN, but it just feels so insulting for the Author to explain why this is happening through some attempt at psycho-analysis arm chair shrink.

As some people have already protested, the sexual content of this game is VERY slow paced. Something that I personally don't mind if it fits the narrative. But when the scarred female protagonist is getting more pussy than our bear hunk, it feels a little depressing. As of 5.2 I don't belive our MC ever reaches an orgasm with any member of the game.

Given my current gripes with the game, the bizarre private detective does not actually bother me that much. That's the point I've wanted to make the whole time. I can't tell if the author wants to follow the steps of the other heavy narratives, but it's obvious he has a passion for it and wants to follow at least his own path. The detective is basically following the narrative of a super hero, which seems ridiculous, but honestly, given the current narrative of the story so far, it doesn't matter and fits in quite nicely.

There are more things I want to say about this story but it needs to be extrapolated on by the author them self. From there, we can judge however we want, but the game is too early to tell.

If the author continues to prove themselves, I will consider donating to their story.

Love the characters in this, the spunky private detective is awesome and the mystery behind the other characters are also really good I am really looking forward to the next update. The story is showing a lot of promise, Not much in the way of sex so far but its early days, I went in the direction of the library and will play through again to check the internet route. In some ways I wish I had waited till there was more content added but that is only because I hate leaving an unfinished story.

good enough renders, and the girls are cool.. but OMFG get going already. If I wanted to read a visual novel with no sex, I would go somewere else.
I guess if you like a long ass tease, this is for you. ZzZzZ.

I will start with the TLDR version first. If you read the story and allow yourself to get into what's going on, you will enjoy Avalon as I have.

You start connecting to the characters though the humor and serious moments. The cast is a wide spread of personalities, they all bring something to the table. Its the little details that will really get you into the story, don't just mash next or you will miss cute little things that just make Avalon what it is.

One thing most people notice is Lockhearts art style, I feel it is similar to a style of Anime perhaps. I rather enjoy the looks the cast, and feel Lockheart did an amazing job with the visuals in game. Not only do the characters look great, but the scenes are well built and you can see the attention to detail given.

Story is a big one here. Yes there is a heavy topic as the baseline, but Lockheart did a great job showing us the cast as they work though that traumatic event and try to move forward. Along the way many things happen that will have you all over the board. From funny interactions and jokes to getting hit in the feels. All I can say is read what they are saying and you will enjoy it.

I could go on longer with breakdowns and score points on all categories, but instead suggest everyone download the game. Play though it, read what they say and notice the little things like expressions and try to feel what they feel and you will not be disappointed.

First things first: If you're simply looking for a game where its all about sex, then you should go on and try another game. But if you're instead looking for a game with great and lovely characters, with a great story, then you have to download this game.

Meet Avalon, a cute young woman who just finished school. She is living with her alcoholic mother (Sharol), who has everyday a new guy over. These guys are most of the time just weird, but sometimes really dangerous. After one of this guys rapes Avalon, her difficult relationship to her mother is completely destroyed. Sharol doesn't believe her daughter, as she tells her about the sexual assault and kicks her out. Without anywhere to go, Avalon has no choice but to check in in a run down motel.

That's where the story starts. Byron (the adopted brother of Sharol and best friend of Avalon's deceased father) is one of the few remaining people who cares about Avalon. But will he be enough to repair the broken soul of this sweet and inocent woman?

A strange story


The good

• Decent renders
• Good choice of music
• Proper use of English
• Kudos for bringing up a serious topic like sexual abuse.

The so-so

• Unique & (initially) likeable MC (which soon turns into an unlikeable creep).
• (Initially) refreshing banter / dialogue which quickly gets tiresome (since almost every character is talking in the same "smartass-y" manner, it feels like the dev simply uses them as talking heads to narrate the story).

The improvable

• Female characters' faces often look unflattering / uncanny, if not downright scary.
• Only few and - bar one - purely cosmetic "choices", which sadly do nothing but break the narrative flow and immersion (for reasons unknown, we mostly choose bits of side characters' dialogue).
• Weird mix of serious & "entertaining" aspects of sexual abuse (rape / incest)

Avalon starts off strong as a story about the MC trying to help his niece to recover from a traumatic experience (rape). This is eased by a good amount of refreshing humorous talk.
Then the story takes a turn - the girl quickly recovers, the MC suddenly goes into "fuck this (her)" mode - and Avalon turns into an unreflecting story about an incestuous relationship.
Both parts - a serious story about a guy helping his niece to recover from sexual abuse and a frisky story about him trying to get in her pants - would have worked for me... independently.
Mixing both and forcing us down the "creepy guy lusting after his recently raped niece" route made me feel more and more uncomfortable - and eventually quit.

Really well written and a touch more sentimental and realistic than a lot of what you see here. The girls are beautiful and it's actually a fairly touching love story.

Since the actual "sex" content still has yet to happen, a lot of what's been shown so far is a little pedestrian. I applaud the lesbian content but if you're doing it right it can be just as intense as a girl being rammed by an 19" cock.

i usually don't review games but this game is really heart warming to play and a well crafted story and pacing throughout the game. Great character development between the characters, the animation and renders are great as well. Good job with the game

There are some good moments, especially in the few first scenes. Dallas, the friend, especially is quirky and fun at the very beginning. The renders are good, the expressions have personality. We learn about dramatic assault, the stage is set for a master piece...

???

...and something goes wrong. Big time. The writing suddenly seems very inconsistent. The constant flirting with Dallas is ruined by excessively explaining that it is indeed flirting. The traumatic assault arc is suddenly forgotten and we, the safe haven of the assault victim, start joking about ravishing our niece because she took a shower. And that is supposed to be romantic.

The author also takes a bold step by letting the player read thoughts of all the characters, not just the protagonist, which to me feels like a really clumsy way for storytelling. The decisions so far are mostly made on behalf of other characters, not the protagonist. Most of the decisions also seem unimportant and at the very least arbitrary. For example you get to decide if the niece jokes about us having 4 or 5 stacks of pancakes for breakfast. I do really wonder what that one changes. Maybe it's obvious to others and there is some holy number of pancake stacks to be eaten, and joking about wrong number fundamentally changes their relationship forever?

I am very tempted in giving this even a lower score because of its current average of near-perfect 5 is not even close to what this game is in reality, but I shall refrain from meta-voting because it's not the most terrible project out here and it has some redeeming qualities. However, I do really have to wonder what the others who have rated this game saying "excellent writing!" have previously read, because to me writing is the weakest point of this game. It is actually bad.

A good story where characters are actually likable, and an appropriate amount of erotic contents mixed which fulfilled the teasing purpose. Great game and I will be very excited to play the next chapters.

If you like a good written story this game is a must. Such a change of pace from so many games where the MC is a weird dude with superpowers or is just a prick. The MC in this game is a likeable guy.
I think the artwork in this game is great very attractive and believable body types.
The best part about this VN is the humor the witty banter back and forth and the sexual innuendo's make this game the gem that it is.
Lastly I would like to remark on the dev rarely do you see a dev that seems to care so much about the story and the feedback that is given. Great work!!!

Playthrough summit: 30% reading, 65% catching your breath from ROFL, 5% staring at you know what.

The models have a touch of cartoonish, but quite attractive. The story is pretty well written and points to a slow burn in terms of lewd content. Worth the download.

I've never reviewed a game on here before, but the developer mentioned at the end of Act 3 that reviews are very much appreciated, so I wanted to (hopefully) help them out with this review.

I really enjoyed the writing, and it really makes you care about and like the characters. By the end of it, I wanted to give both Avalon AND the MC a hug, which is a far cry from the usual MCs who are sneaking into their sister's rooms at night and jerking off over them. The humor is really great, although I'm sure it's not for everyone, and I actually learned a lot of random facts from the writer's jokes (assuming he/she didn't make those facts up! )

Pros:

• Well written story that takes long enough to develop for the genre that it's in. I read one review complaining about how
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• Characters that you get attached to
• The humor is very silly, but made me laugh out loud several times.
• The characters have different personalities! This is what separates a good from great game, in my opinion.

Cons:

• The characters almost seem psychic, (or just incredibly observant) at times, which kind of takes away from the realism.
• I don't really think that the inner monologues of other characters other than the MC fit in to the game. I wish more games would stick to the first-person perspective, as it really allows the player to "be" the MC . I can understand viewing events in a third-person perspective that the MC doesn't see, however, as that doesn't really detract from the experience as much as hearing the other characters' thoughts while the MC is in the same room as them.
• The facial expressions sometimes make Avalon look really odd.
• I played the path with Octavia, and her face seems to be lower resolution than the other models, making it seem sort of blurry.
• As far as I can recall, there is only one choice in the game. I generally prefer games with decisions and consequences. This one is not one of those games, but that's not so bad.

*Edited to remove mentions of other games. I didn't read the rules before posting.