As far as I know, car keys have always been in the kitchen drawer.
That's probably because you confronted her about it before she was comfortable taking her dress off first. You have to have at least gotten that far with her, or yes, she will freak out and throw the toy at you if you try to confront her about it when you catch her using it. Once you get to the "cream will take off her dress" stage, you can confront her and acquire the toy. (Also, if you wait until she's willing to get naked
and have gotten a couple of blowjobs from her in the meantime, there is an even better scene when you confront her.)
You can also acquire the toy by looking under her bed (random chance; may or may not find it on any given attempt) when she's not in her room. Note that acquiring the toy obviously means neither of the "good" confrontation scenes can happen after that, since she won't have the toy in her room anymore.