VN Ren'Py Beyond Tomorrow [Ch.3 Part 1] [Dream Games]

[CodeProtocol]

- Sees a interesting girl in the thumbnail
- Plays the game
- She's the Mc Sister
- No cest tag

 

[Jacowboy]

man, this game is really well made, the writing is good, the renders are great... but it's soooooo dull...

not for me, I guess... oh well.

 

[Quetzzz]

A few nitpicks:

• If you told Martin that you don't watch Samantha doing yoga, it turns the MC into a liar when he tells Kimi he likes to watch Samantha... doing yoga.
  I suggest toning down the MC's appreciation of the female shape during yoga if the player said they don't ogle.
  This is also an argument in favor of storing a variable for every choice the player can make, even if it's just flavor. You never know when such a choice expresses an opinion that can come into play later.
• I turned down Kimi's request to go running together because the MC said he already gets more than enough exercise at his job. The gym, the telegraph about doing yoga, his job, and going running,.. It felt like all we would be getting is the MC exercising. I do like how the MC motivates his reasoning by saying he'll have to go to work again and won't have much time.
• If you reject Chloe, the MC still takes a long time to shower. A simple if-statement could bypass Martin's remark.
• I think it would also work better if Chloe and the MC were shown as whispering so they aren't overheard by Martin.
• After collecting all the boxes and clicking 'leave' during the freeroam, a render with all the boxes present pops up for a split second.
• This sequence is a bit weird... There's no paperwork, so all the guys had to do was unload the truck so the driver could leave. The setup feels a bit artificial, but fun regardless. A small enhancement could be that the driver has unique dialogue or even a reward for the MC if the player empties the truck first so he can leave.
• The hidden rewards are persistent, but the freeroam segment doesn't take that into account. I would've liked it if only missed baubles were shown, and the optional task of collecting them shown as completed if the player has already found all of them in a previous playthrough.
• Martin and the MC drive to a house... Whose house is it? It looks entirely different from the MC's house in the previous chapters. The interior decoration looks different as well, but the MC acts as if it's his home.
• Sarah's behavior is inconsistent. She's worried Casey is in her underwear and doesn't like the idea of the MC seeing her like that. But she doesn't ask the MC to wait so she can make sure Casey is decent and doesn't say there's a visitor when calling out for her either.
• Very much subjective, but I didn't like the MC checking out Casey, even less because she notices it. A choice would've been nice (or using ch3_McSarahDriveHome_Choice_IwouldntMind). I generally don't like horndog MCs, and I don't subscribe to the trope of bigger breasts being better. To me, Casey is the least appealing LI, so the MC having an entirely different opinion is alienating. I'm glad we got a choice the 2nd time.
• The statement if ch3_McSarahCaseyHome_Choice_ComplimentCasey is True only changes a single line of dialogue while the blocks are much larger. There's no real issue here except a few duplicate lines of code that could be dropped outside the if statement.
• The above if statement uses 'is', which is not the correct use. It checks a variable's identity, not equality. In this case, it works fine, but this habit could cause issues later on as code or variables get more complex. It's better to write if ch3_McSarahCaseyHome_Choice_ComplimentCasey: or if ch3_McSarahCaseyHome_Choice_ComplimentCasey == True:
• I'm surprised that Olivia wants Martin to know about their father. She says he's like family, but it's not like she hangs out with him, not like Samantha hangs out with both siblings. This lets me think Emma is in contact with the MC's father, and Martin will need to be clued in for future drama/plot.
  I think it would be better for the MC to ask Olivia if she's fine with Martin knowing as well, even more because the MC enlists his help later.
• Samantha looks completely dry. She had a more wet look while she was on the float. The same issue happens on the path where the MC stays home; Sam is suddenly dry when she crawls on the MC's lap. Both of these can be solved by Sam at least holding a towel.
• The MC says he had the conversation with their mom yesterday, and this caught me by surprise. The amount of stuff the MC did in a single day is staggering.
  Unless he can teleport or all locations are 5 minutes apart, this day is ridiculously packed. And it's still light outside!
  • Woke up & spoke with Martin, Olivia & Sam
  • Took Samantha to her mom's house and spent some time there
  • Spent time at Susan's
  • Met with Dr. William
  • Went to the college, spoke with Casey
  • Spoke with Sarah
  • Met Jasmine
  • Went to a lake with Olivia.
  • Gym
  • Helped Emma
  • Drove home + pool convo
  • Brought Sarah home / spoke with Sam
  • Conversation about Dad.
• There are a few renders of Samantha speaking to Olivia with the MC being turned toward Sam. In the conversation they're having, he would still be looking at Olivia; they're consoling her, so his attention would remain on her while Sam speaks.
• Olivia says she forgot about the letters, but we saw them mentioned in a flashback where she told Sasha about them, showing it had an impact and that she suspected the letters were related to her father. Her finding the letters can't have happened that long ago. She says it happened before Sasha moved out, but that's only been a few months. Maybe if she had been with Sasha for years? I like that the MC suggests they could be letters from patients. This would've been reasonable (even if a lie) for their mom to tell Olivia and why she shouldn't snoop in her office.
• "But something tells me we're not gonna find a shit." Usually said as "not find shit".
• Not a nitpick: Lauren is cute!
• It's a miracle the business is still afloat. They're shipping fruits and vegetables, stuff that needs refrigeration. They're too small to act as a wholesaler, with the MC apparently being the only guy working the warehouse. The amount of fruit a single club would need would be a drop in the bucket.
  An alternative that could work is the MC working for a local grocery store that does home delivery and has competitive prices for businesses.
• It's also strange that they want to fulfill an order at night when the company asked for a delivery in the morning. I'll assume they actually made sure someone was available to accept the delivery. I suspect this is plot convenience. Nobody is mentioning the name of the company either, which is suspicious.
• The MC offers to load up tomorrow's shipment as well. He can't be working a full-time job at this place. It certainly doesn't look like the grueling job he described at the gym.
• The fruits and vegetables are loaded in a pickup truck. The warehouse and truck aren't refrigerated. This whole thing feels undercooked.
• Loading the same pickup truck again with the next shipment takes hours. By that logic, the delivery to "the company" was made after midnight.

I also have the suspicion that Sasha has been living/crashing in the basement. She could've run away and hid there and never made herself known after Olivia ghosted her.

 

[Calchito]

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Cutest villain in the game - Sarah

 

[rafa30]

Any incest patch?

 

[Dessolos]

Any incest patch?

unless im Mistaken the sister isn't a LI so there is no need for one. Unless there is something I don't know about as I have yet to play the rework.

 

[MiltonPowers]

Any incest patch?

You don't need a patch, there's a sister and a mom that have no lewd scenes.

A patch is not going to magically make lewd scenes appear with them.

 

[rafa30]

You don't need a patch, there's a sister and a mom that have no lewd scenes.

A patch is not going to magically make lewd scenes appear with them.

Thank you

 

[anon9gg]

minor bug in ch3p1 gym's scene:
when kimi is asking you about trying yoga, the statement supposed to turn a flag to True does nothing (story/chapter3.rpy l:554)

        "I might give it a shot sometime":
            $ ch3_McKimiTreadmill_Choice_TryYoga

this var currently serves no purpose, but if you're into kimi and don't want to use the console later, you should make a save before confirming the choice then play from there once this gets fixed

• The above if statement uses 'is', which is not the correct use. It checks a variable's identity, not equality. In this case, it works fine, but this habit could cause issues later on as code or variables get more complex. It's better to write if ch3_McSarahCaseyHome_Choice_ComplimentCasey: or if ch3_McSarahCaseyHome_Choice_ComplimentCasey == True:

exactly, i wouldn't recommend any renpy dev to ever use the identity operator 'is' without a really good reason

but what is triggering me is how the dev always does a label jump at the end of each choice/eval's block
often its only to go to the next line instead of just letting the script flow
totally unnecessary and bad practice -> you could basically scrap all the *_Continue_x labels

 

[Sulzeer666]

What a gem of a game. Reminds me of Summers Gone and potentially Connected, an i REALLY liked those games

 

[Brandon Giannis]

Excellent Game