- Thread starter Black_Cat902
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Havenless_
Active Member
- Oct 12, 2020
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Yeah, this will require a patch just to clean up the names and references. Even if she was a legitimate step-mom, he would call her mom if he grew up with her. Probably not if she married his dad after MC moved out, but that isn't the case here.
The MC does refer to her as Mom sometimes, but not always. It is inconsistent. Also there are times when the word their is used instead of her or him. This is usually the case with sloppy Spanish type language to English.
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Not awful, but there's a notable chunkiness to the narration (and some kinda weird jumps) - as others have said, this surely is originally written in Spanish. Could be okay with some polish but how often does that actually happen? Not very frequently, by my observations.
So atm nothing that stands out too much in either direction. Needs an update or two to see if it'll develop into something.
ps: shame btw this just takes place in "Generic US" as far as I can tell; if you are Spanish (or from a Speaking-speaking country) why not mix things up a bit?
So atm nothing that stands out too much in either direction. Needs an update or two to see if it'll develop into something.
ps: shame btw this just takes place in "Generic US" as far as I can tell; if you are Spanish (or from a Speaking-speaking country) why not mix things up a bit?
