Forgive me if I’m misinterpreting what you’re saying, but most of your grievances with Dark Souls seem to be aimed at the community, not the game itself.
First of all, in Dark Souls, the difficulty—while undoubtedly frustrating to some (especially more casual) players—is an intentional part of the game design; that is to say, Dark Souls is about overcoming overwhelming odds; and this is why enemies are designed to be so difficult (and, for instance, why they’re so tall—they’re meant to make the player feel small, inadequate). In contrast, Breeders of the Nephelym has no reason to multiply the grind every update. Should we believe that DH has a similar philosophy about how BotN is supposed to embody the true struggle involved in maintaining a breeding farm? Unlikely.
Second, Dark Souls actually has several tools to lessen its difficulty built into the game mechanics. A lot of builds are simply more forgiving than others—heavy armour and tower shields, for instance, are much friendlier to newer or casual players than running around naked with a buckler and parrying everything. Even further on the easy-mode side of the spectrum are magic builds, which give players more and safer options for dealing with the threats they encounter. Finally, there are summons, which drastically lower the difficulty of boss encounters. Note that the game itself does not judge players for using these tools in any way, shape, or form; it’s the players of Dark Souls who have a reputation for establishing a hierarchy of the various builds according to “prestige”, calling noobs those players who use safer builds and telling them to “git gud”, and likewise mocking players who use summons, etc.
I want to stress also that growth potential in Dark Souls—how much faster one can progress by being familiar with its mechanics—is far, far greater than that in Breeders of the Nephelym.
All in all, I think that even overlooking other aspects of the games such as levels of polish; how much more engaging and well-crafter the actual gameplay loop of Dark Souls is compared to BotN; how much more attention is put into the world-building and story, etc.; there’s a clear difference fundamentally between what Dark Souls presents and what games such as Breeders of the Nephelym, which like to pretend they’re just “old-school hard”, have to offer.
