VN Ren'Py Broken Promises [v0.38] [Light Cavalry]

[portgasdluigi]

Thanks for the update. Massive amount of content for a first release. Excellent renders. Generally attractive women. MC is kind of interesting. All in all an impressive initial offering, so don't let the nay sayers discourage you.

Now let's address the elephant in the room and talk about the story and the writing.

Spoiler: The basic story

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Unsurprisingly with 10 potential LIs and 4-5 supporting characters to introduce there's a LOT of text to wade through. Several (many) commenters have complained about the various LIs demonstrating immediate interest in the MC. Most of the women in this story are lonely and damaged or broken in some way. There are exceptions, but it is not unreasonable for lonely women who've had bad experiences to be attracted to a good looking warm confident man who treats them with a type of flirtatious respect. Other than Sakae, none of the LIs go further than internally considering their interest or possible interest in the MC, and some don't even do that. So I think the complaints about all of them wanting to immediately jump his bones are over blown.

It's worth exploring a couple of the LI's who've drawn specific complaints.

Spoiler: Sakae

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Spoiler: Grace and the Creep

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In any event. Loved this intro, can't wait for the next update.

Grace story is completely ridiculous if you think about it for half a second. For all the reasons you stated, plus why would that guy release videos of them when he has a wife and kids? It would destroy his home life as well. Let's not forget MC is a cop and it would take one phone call to Tianna to make this fucker disappear. Blackmail, Sexual Harassment, Revenge Porn, yeah you're getting locked up dude.

 

[linkinn]

Yeah, let's clean everything, that's the answer to all our problems.

That won't change the fact that there is an awfull written "LI" in the game that's a whore and the writer is ok over delivering unneeded/unwanted information. Great beginning.

 

[portgasdluigi]

Yeah, let's clean everything, that's the answer to all our problems.

That won't change the fact that there is an awfull written "LI" in the game that's a whore and the writer is ok over delivering unneeded/unwanted information. Great beginning.

It's not even necessarily what she did in her past, but how much we have to hear about it and how she still thinks about it almost longingly, she's aroused thinking of the pounding this guy gave her and it makes her look terrible.

 

[kartolas]

It's just too much God damn drama! I stopped at the ridiculous Blackmail (unacceptable missing tag) of Grace, closed it, deleted it and unfortunately, and sadly because I liked the demo, I won't be coming back. Jesus!

 

[Urk]

the daugther looks like she's had too much surgery done.

 

[rahkshi01]

I had been watching this game but I"m glad I waited. Seem another dev has thrown its players under the bus.

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Well the name was Broken Promises. Sorry had to go there.

 

[Knight_LC]

Hello everyone!
Since Grace after work scene and her last scene is very criticizedheavily and not liked my writer will look into toning down the detailed nature of the words since its too much for some.

Kind regards
-Knight

 

[SirAlexander111]

Hello everyone!
Since Grace after work scene and her last scene is very crisizied heavily and not liked my writer will look into toning down the detailed nature of the words since its too much for some.

Kind regards
-Knight

With kind regards,
Don't change because "some" criticized it. Let your conscience be the judge first. If he thinks that there's nothing wrong then go with it. If he doesn't then why did you add it in the first place, and if you are changing it under pressure and not because you yourself felt so, then I'm not sure how long you'll keep up with this vn.

Edit.: and before I receive shitload of facepalm, let me say that i hated that scene more than anyone here but lets be honest if the creator of particular scene decided to change it just because people hated it an not because he himself didn't like it then that might not be the feasible option going forward.

 

[linkinn]

the detailed nature of the words since its too much for some.

I mean, you don't think it's too much? she's basically melting in front of him... a "LI"...

You should change because you agree and not because we don't like it.

 

[kartolas]

Hello everyone!
Since Grace after work scene and her last scene is very criticizedheavily and not liked my writer will look into toning down the detailed nature of the words since its too much for some.

Kind regards
-Knight

I have no issues with the words or Benoits actions, that happens a lot in real life and toming it down won't change a thing. Just make her refuse the blackmail and make the pig be arrested for hate porn. Again, toning it down won't change a thing.
For me, as I stated before, there's just too much drama and I didn't need that scene to add salt to injury.

ALSO, tell your writer that his father is a "Beta bitch" when you talk to him.

Add the F Blackmail tag, you wasted hours of my life.

 

[Deleted member 15555]

Hello everyone!
Since Grace after work scene and her last scene is very criticizedheavily and not liked my writer will look into toning down the detailed nature of the words since its too much for some.

Kind regards
-Knight

Everything about Grace was kinda badly done, it won't solve if that is just toned down a bit.
Have in mind that such scenes in a romance game will never work and the whole situation that did come after that is even worse.
If you want to save that Li you will need to re-work the whole plot about her, just editing a bit of the text won't solve it because most people already did read what is going on with said li.
Just my 2 cents.

With kind regards,
Don't change because "some" criticized it. Let your conscience be the judge first. If he thinks that there's nothing wrong then go with it. If he doesn't then why did you add it in the first place, and if you are changing it under pressure and not because you yourself felt so, then I'm not sure how long you'll keep up with this vn.

Edit.: and before I receive shitload of facepalm, let me say that i hated that scene more than anyone here but lets be honest if the creator of particular scene decided to change it just because people hated it an not because he himself didn't like it then that might not be the feasible option going forward.

He is not the writer, he does the renders... the problem here is the writing.

So these guys don't test/play their own game before releasing or some kinds of communication issues or.....

Ofc he will know because he needs to pose those scenes and make them, but maybe he did feel like people won't be that upset about it because "that" happened in the past and he may think a plot like that will work because the mc is a cop and will stop the guy before anything "happens".... but sometimes you need more than just 2 perspectives to see how wrong that scene is.
Also undermining the writer of your game every time because you don't like something may piss him off, there is many factors to this... if it is people that don't like it then he may feel the need to change, I know this because I'm a writer too and we all have ego's.

to point it out: Is easier for a writer to change something because of the players rather than change something because one of the devs feels like is not going to work.

 

[SirAlexander111]

He is not the writer, he does the renders... the problem here is the writing.

So these guys don't test/play their own game before releasing or some kind of communication issues or.....

 

[linkinn]

So these guys don't test/play their own game before releasing or some kinds of communication issues or.....

I'am pretty sure you need to read the script to compose the scene to render, so yeah, it's hard to pass on something like that. If it's there it's there because everyone involved didn't have a problem with it. And that brings back to what you said, if they don't see the problem with the scene it'll happen again in the future.

 

[Chimba]

Hello everyone!
Since Grace after work scene and her last scene is very criticizedheavily and not liked my writer will look into toning down the detailed nature of the words since its too much for some.

Kind regards
-Knight

Well my question, it remains the same, even if the writer changes the story or what they talk about in that scene, imo does not change anything since the whole plot of it remains the same, which leads to my question, can the player (MC) avoid some of the LI or they are forced? If for example I don't want to have anything to do with who...Grace, can I avoid her? Or is it going to remain an important part of the overall plot of the game and we can only avoid it romantically?

Thanks

 

[SirAlexander111]

I'am pretty sure you need to read the script to compose the scene to render, so yeah, it's hard to pass on something like that.

I meant to say that they don't test their final product on actual pc or tab or smartphone? It's professional courtesy.

 

[portgasdluigi]

Everything about Grace was kinda badly done, it won't solve if that is just toned down a bit.
Have in mind that such scenes in a romance game will never work and the whole situation that did come after that is even worse.
If you want to save that Li you will need to re-work the whole plot about her, just editing a bit of the text won't solve it because most people already did read what is going on with said li.
Just my 2 cents.




He is not the writer, he does the renders... the problem here is the writing.

Yeah I think Grace's entire story would need changed at this point for me to enjoy the game. "Toning it down" isn't enough but that's just me. I'm afriad the damage may have already been done. Even outside of the detailed nature of it. Her story is still an illogical mess.

 

[SirAlexander111]

I'am pretty sure you need to read the script to compose the scene to render, so yeah, it's hard to pass on something like that. If it's there it's there because everyone involved didn't have a problem with it. And that brings back to what you said, if they don't see the problem with the scene it'll happen again in the future.

This guy gets it. Eat an apple a day and keep your doctor away.

 

[delacroix2]

Hello everyone!
Since Grace after work scene and her last scene is very criticizedheavily and not liked my writer will look into toning down the detailed nature of the words since its too much for some.

Kind regards
-Knight

Dev nobody forces you to change anything if you don't want to (it's your game) just have your ideas clear.

 

[Deleted member 15555]

Yeah I think Grace's entire story would need changed at this point for me to enjoy the game. "Toning it down" isn't enough but that's just me. I'm afriad the damage may have already been done. Even outside of the detailed nature of it. Her story is still an illogical mess.

I agree, I mean the most that have to lose from leaking such things is that guy doing the blackmail... first of all blackmailing is a serious crime, recording and releasing such personal content will even further his jail days....... Grace already have enough proof considering the guy did send it to her phone etc

Even if he doesn't care about her wife divorcing him and his kids hating him, those 3 crimes are some good years in jail.
It doesn't even make sense for someone to be that "careless"

Not liking to read about it is another story. At least this point is without hypocrisy.

I think is what most people complained about, I did too, I'm not a fan of being forced to read such things in a romance game...it doesn't make sense either to force that information on the player even less her thoughts about how she liked it...

 

[portgasdluigi]

I agree, I mean the most that have to lose from leaking such things is that guy doing the blackmail... first of all blackmailing is a serious crime, recording and releasing such personal content will even further his jail days....... Grace already have enough proof considering the guy did send it to her phone etc

Even if he doesn't care about her wife divorcing him and his kids hating him, those 3 crimes are some good years in jail.
It doesn't even make sense for someone to be that "careless"

I'm gonna quote myself here on my thoughts of her story:

Need to say a few things about the Grace storyline,

The only options for Grace in this situation are:

1. Keep fucking this guy and possibly the others so he doesn't release the videos But if they say there's no NTR then this can't happen in the game (unless they use the BS excuse, "she's not in a relationship with MC so it's not technically NTR" we're treading those grey waters for a lot of people already. (THIS IS OF COURSE THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME AND MAKES GRACE LOOK EVEN WORSE)

2. Refuse and he releases the videos and a bunch of people see them, this a horrible idea for him since it would get him sued to high hell and I'm sure his wife won't be happy. They work at a law firm, how do they not understand how the laws work in this situation? His list of offences would be blackmail, sexual harassment, and releasing revenge porn.

3. Grace tells MC about what's happening and with MC BEING A COP AND HAVING PULL AT THE STATION and her WORKING AT A LAW FIRM WITH FRIENDS WHO WORK THERE AND KYLIE SEEMS TO LIKE BOTH OF THEM. They could take that guy down so fast and Grace's story would effectively be finished.

So you have to ask yourself, will the characters do the smart, logical thing? Or will they act like helpless idiots to stretch out this terrible story? The more I think about this plot the more it baffles me haha.